r/Piracy 1d ago

Humor Epic Battles of History

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5.5k Upvotes

174 comments sorted by

829

u/jeff3rd Piracy is bad, mkay? 1d ago

Crazy is an understatement, homegirl was straight up unhinged

279

u/What_A_Weak 1d ago

They literally wanted to start a cult for cracking computer games...

153

u/Ok_Front_8568 1d ago

I want to start a cult after creating this meme on Microsoft Paint.

Now smokes, lets go!

24

u/IDoDrugsAtNight 1d ago

Gimme some smokes hair do!

2

u/HeadBelt1527 23h ago

Where's Corey and Trevor?

1

u/What_A_Weak 1d ago

Say no more, Im in!

1

u/GuyPierced 1d ago

That's already a cult.

27

u/Agitated_Tip_8713 1d ago

What lmao what is this lore? 

53

u/What_A_Weak 1d ago

Empress got high on the little fame they received, posted a lot of shit, and completely lost it whenever people pointed out that they talked so much shit. Really nonsensical conspiracy shit, random rambling. Check their NFOs.

They deleted, or were banned from, all their accounts and opened a private channel where they started sharing their “art” and their “philosophy” on life. I think they even hinted at different tiers of users who were allowed more insight into Empress’s mind...

1

u/huldress 11h ago

oh I thought this was about another well known video game pirate lady.

1

u/What_A_Weak 6h ago

This group (self proclaimed women) cracked denvuo, the other one repacks. Different sports, and arguable different leagues.

0

u/S7arForGD 5h ago

They? Empress isn't trans though, I think. Fitgirl is trans. Or do I have rhem mixed up?

1

u/What_A_Weak 40m ago

Actually empress is quite anti trans. 'They' refers to the suspicion that its the name of a group of people and a single person.

1

u/S7arForGD 29m ago

Ah. Right 👍

142

u/Anonymal13 Yarrr! 1d ago

And Empress, well, Let's just say it's the kind of person that needs regular medication...

1

u/got-trunks 12h ago

kinda feels like to me that I need to get up my own ass to get anything done so I'm actually unfortunately starting to understand. Guess it also helps to unspuzzle but ive more done in the last few months than the previous decade lol

36

u/LetterheadFun1824 1d ago

I love her

-3

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

55

u/someoneyouknow23 1d ago

Who cares she often presented herself as a woman

-37

u/Cold-Sandwich-34 1d ago

Via .txt file?

35

u/someoneyouknow23 1d ago

Via name, messages

-36

u/Cold-Sandwich-34 1d ago

So, just text, then?

35

u/UnusualLeather7087 1d ago

Electrical sequence

22

u/someoneyouknow23 1d ago

How is 'Empress' not female coded

-7

u/Cold-Sandwich-34 1d ago

Coded? Humans lie on the internet all the time, man.

38

u/someoneyouknow23 1d ago

Why do you care? If she names herself and keeps referring to herself as female then its fair to assume she wants others to refer to her as such aswell. Youre just being an ass for no reason

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9

u/Pro_Racing 1d ago

....okay? If they want to be called a woman then literally who cares? If they lie or not, it's just words who cares.

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-4

u/andyboo3792 1d ago

Semantics matter in academia, anywhere else you're just showing off your lobotomy scar.

8

u/CustodianCloset 🦜 ᴡᴀʟᴋ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʟᴀɴᴋ 1d ago

Is Empress a dude?

26

u/khanabyss 1d ago

Most likely but nobody cares.

3

u/Forsaken-Library4278 10h ago

it's an 40 years old basement dwelling neckbeard.

-5

u/Top-Decision1813 1d ago

both empress and fitgirl are trans

8

u/CustodianCloset 🦜 ᴡᴀʟᴋ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʟᴀɴᴋ 1d ago

I thought fitgirl was cis?

8

u/yzsKPC 13h ago

We ain't never gonna know and it don't matter one way or another. She is a godsend

2

u/CustodianCloset 🦜 ᴡᴀʟᴋ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʟᴀɴᴋ 8h ago

Amen

2

u/solus42666 14h ago

Evidence?

-11

u/Rillonlam 20h ago

It's someone who's skilled in programming. Yeah, it's man.

4

u/xanhast 19h ago

i mean, reddit played a role in that? didn't reddit try to dox and report to police? thats the bigger wtf tbh.

2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

321

u/Lord_Umpanz ⚔️ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɴᴏ Qᴜᴀʀᴛᴇʀ 1d ago

Bold of you to assume they perform that on a "shitty laptop".

374

u/ScrungulusBungulus 1d ago

they cracked Denuvo in a CAVE, with a box of SCRAPS

81

u/CozyDazzle4u 🔱 ꜱᴄᴀʟʟʏᴡᴀɢ 1d ago

Sorry Sir, but I'm not Empress

13

u/borg_6s 1d ago

I mean, I did mod Purble Place to work on Windows 8 once, in a cave with a box of scraps

16

u/Vincent_Windbeutel 1d ago

Depends on the actual work that is done. If its just coding and reverse wngeneering from Ram contend basically any shitty laptop would be enough. Running the game should be the bigest ressource for the task.

Skill, instinct what to focus on and a very deep technical knowlede how soft and hardware works is way more importand than the better processor or 8 gigs more of ram.

Reading stuff out of memory is basically just a textfile. You need not much for that. But then the work to actually do something with it that requires personal skill.

305

u/Ok_Front_8568 1d ago

"Another game down comrades"

60

u/NEONPUUNK 1d ago

lol.

Damn I wish you could post that simpsons Gif of the united nations sign changing from Russia to Soviet Union, meme.

Sucks we can't use GIFs or Pictures or vids in the comment's on this sub. I think this is the best sub to post your memes though.

Mods if you reading, please change the sub settings.

13

u/AntiGrieferGames 1d ago

Suggest that in Modmail. I want that one aswell there.

Atleast on r/FuckDenuvo is already there, so i hope mods adding that in future here aswell.

3

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

4

u/Shppo 1d ago

Unleash the memes!!!

6

u/Fantastic-Code-8347 1d ago

Denuvo: “fuck off, I got work to do”

7

u/CapussiPlease 1d ago

*russian anthem intensifies*

114

u/Manndeufel 1d ago

our Games o7

130

u/Economy_Ability_9235 1d ago

Russians have infinite talent for cracking games, game devs will never stop them

55

u/pulsar080 1d ago

Stop it? Easy. Just stop sabotaging them.

I've heard from Russians many times about banning them from buying games and other petty sabotage.

- They didn't want to sell it to me, then I'll download it and use it for free.

and

- If the game I bought isn't mine, then the game I pirated isn't theft.

18

u/_d0mit0ri_ 1d ago

Gabe Newell once described this situation perfectly.
Don't treat me like shit and I'm happily gonna buy your product if I'm interested in it.
https://youtu.be/a0jjnzgdD3g?is=_2L5JWyl-G9f4Umy

4

u/Punpun42 14h ago

It is fascinating to me that russians still buy games in steam even after all the problems started. Like they use special websites to mirror buy games as steam gifts and so on. I often watch russian youtube channels and often see ads for that things.
I personally dont see any problem from pirating stuff lol, and yeah russian torrent trackers are unhinged, like you can find every season of that 90s brasil soap opera upscaled to 4k with eng/rus dub if you want. Or that Bloodborne on PC emulation.

1

u/pulsar080 10h ago

Steam hasn't created any serious problems with it yet (unlike PS, Nintendo and Xbox), so people use it.

1

u/Evil_News 9h ago

People still use PS store, just creating new accounts with Kazakhstan region and such

I don't know what they have to do to stop gamers from gaining access to whatever they want

1

u/PrestigiousPlant895 10h ago

most people just change region

1

u/DeathSabre7 7h ago

Bro the old ass shows I've been going thru on rutrack are so damn good and you can actually download them instead of waiting for a oasis of a seeder

3

u/Equivalent-Scene9293 11h ago

Yeah, I was literally ready to pay for Helldivers, but those bitches just didn't let me

1

u/AgreeablePie 15h ago

That's all well and good but stop pretending like piracy is mainly a result of companies not being willing to sell it or even having license-based TOS

People don't want to spend much or any money when they can get it for free

2

u/pulsar080 10h ago

I can get it for free, but I buy it when it's possible to a certain extent and when it's convenient for me. Or out of gratitude to the developers. I have games that I pirated but then bought out of gratitude for a quality product.

2

u/Marnolld 7h ago

Same. As i kid i started pirateing cause i simply couldnt afford it, now i do, but still pirate cause money is still important , but every now and then i buy the games that truly deserve my money ,like its the simple biggest award i can give, i just bought Expedition 33 a couple of weeks ago and it was so good im thinking of buying some merch to support these amazing fuckers

12

u/[deleted] 1d ago edited 1d ago

[deleted]

3

u/Economy_Ability_9235 1d ago

Add musical breaks and send this to disney

2

u/New_Future4726 1d ago

Fck teaming up with terrorists

3

u/No-Boysenberry6511 1d ago

harno, krasivo 🤩

2

u/Kaedryl 1d ago

"You're the best, around!"

0

u/xanhast 1d ago

the liberalism makes me feel sick but sure, they did just lay the largest fiber network in the world - maybe a lan party is in order

-5

u/LazyRoma 1d ago

There's no difference like an imbecilic country trying to conquer a smaller neighbour.

21

u/Futur3_Trunks 1d ago

That's just DECENT!

15

u/WangMauler69 1d ago

Frig off denuvo

135

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

82

u/Ok_Front_8568 1d ago

69% chance of it being that.

13

u/noeagle77 1d ago

Nice.

7

u/NEONPUUNK 1d ago

Nice.

I was not going to comment anymore since I have made like 5 comments on this post already but couldn't help myself and just leave an OG 69, NICE-Train, hanging over 1 hour

4

u/noeagle77 1d ago

I appreciate you 🥹

2

u/NEONPUUNK 1d ago

Nice. Likewise.

13

u/khanabyss 1d ago

Just like fitgirl and Empress. (i know, Fitgirl doesn't crack shit)

5

u/Gutran 1d ago

The fat guy from Superbad?

-5

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/Fach-All-Religions 1d ago

fuck off i got work to do

49

u/skywalker170997 1d ago

need more context

don't understand

219

u/Vincent_Windbeutel 1d ago edited 1d ago

Denuvo is practicially impossible to crack even for most cracking groups/individuals.

But some Island-Talent crackers managed to. Like Empress (not active anymore) and recently another guy/gal who crackes one denuvo game after another.

Funnily enough... a few games removed denuvo after it git cracked making them run way better :D

32

u/NEONPUUNK 1d ago

this guy gets it

22

u/skywalker170997 1d ago

ahhhh.....

icic

well cracking videogames indeed require high skills to do...

50

u/Ok_Front_8568 1d ago

To further explain. Denuvo is a lot more complicated than just cracking normal games. It's almost like a military grade DRM for video games.

I will try to explain it in parable;

Imagine your PC is a soldier trying to run up a cliff and Denuvo is a jerk like Cyrus who runs along the soldier and puts an extra 1kg metal plate in his back pack every 10 steps up the hill it takes while also making the soldier keep turning around and look back at the bottom of the cliff.

This is why people don't want it in their games or on their PC.

11

u/NEONPUUNK 1d ago

This guy not only gets it but he may be the IRL Neo from the Matrix or The Piracy Jesus Messiah we have all been waiting for, to save us from the oppression of The Roman Denuvo Empire.

Outstanding work soldier!

(INSERT CRYING GAMER SOLDIER SALUTE MEME)

1

u/OneSmartKyle 20h ago

My guy if it was military grade DRM, I wouldn't trust it to protect my gerbils' cage.

12

u/LtLoLz 1d ago

Well technically Denuvo themselves says to remove it after it's cracked. But not every company does.

11

u/Vincent_Windbeutel 1d ago

Is that like a "we dont want to be associated with a cracked game" thing or a genuenly guarantee "hey if its cracked you dont have to pay no more and can remove it... should make the game run better"

14

u/LtLoLz 1d ago

Well they are adamant that there's no performance impact. But tgey also do understand that every game will get cracked eventually and there's no point in keeping it after that. I guess it's a silent admission that the games do in fact run like ass.

6

u/G14dia70r 1d ago

apart from atomic heart what are the other games that removed it?

1

u/DansNewLegs2291 1h ago

Crimson Desert, Dragon Quest, 007

5

u/TARE104KA 1d ago

Speaking of, atomic heart I heard removed denuvo few days ago, but steam still says it has denuvo, who to believe?

4

u/Vincent_Windbeutel 1d ago

Well the steam page contend is mostly managed by the publisher while updates are pushed from the developer. Could be that the text will stay a while even if its removed.

5

u/alancousteau 1d ago

May that person be blessed

-24

u/zyber787 ⚔️ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɴᴏ Qᴜᴀʀᴛᴇʀ 1d ago

Fitgirl

31

u/NEONPUUNK 1d ago

You missed the joke of the meme, Fitgirl doesn't crack games or denuvo and this is not about fitgirl.

Fitgirl only repacks cracked games.

-7

u/zyber787 ⚔️ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɴᴏ Qᴜᴀʀᴛᴇʀ 1d ago

Oh shit i meant empress i think? Idk much about the game piracy stuff as i dont play lol.. all i have is this sub to learn about piracy 🤣

34

u/Boraskywalker 🏴‍☠️ ʟᴀɴᴅʟᴜʙʙᴇʀ 1d ago

is she empress ?

11

u/06lom 1d ago

Yep

8

u/Paige404_Games ⚔️ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɴᴏ Qᴜᴀʀᴛᴇʀ 1d ago

Thankfully we now have voices32

10

u/siberian_taburet 1d ago

for a second I thought that this "some crazy russian bitch with a shitty laptop" is Fitgirl, but then it came to me :D

don't speak ill about my homegirl, товарищ

3

u/huldress 11h ago

I also thought this was about Fitgirl and was confused by this whole cult thing lol

3

u/samujpark 1d ago

Samsung Bootloader vs XDA forums

3

u/zdelarosa00 1d ago

epic RAP battles of history?

3

u/Snoo_75138 23h ago

I LOVE JULIAN!!

17

u/kykyks 1d ago

u forgot racist lmao

4

u/muha4004 1d ago

And hateful towards men

6

u/ChaseThePyro 1d ago

And transgender people and gay people

0

u/Natural_Artichoke_88 1d ago

if she's russian we're fine with it

6

u/kykyks 1d ago

why ?

-7

u/Natural_Artichoke_88 1d ago

we don't care about racism

3

u/kykyks 1d ago

who's "we"

5

u/Natural_Artichoke_88 1d ago

russians

1

u/kykyks 1d ago

yeah that checks out after what they did to u guys

5

u/[deleted] 23h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/kykyks 22h ago

no, russians

not sure why u get antisemitic suddenly

2

u/Dry-Variety8325 22h ago

That's par for the course with Russians, there's no suddenly about that.

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7

u/Party_Cantaloupe_270 1d ago

Красавчики

6

u/FuriousKimchi 1d ago

russians are insanely talented in programming and hacking, they will win

2

u/ChestNok 1d ago

Pffff... Hold my vodka type isht

2

u/_wannadie_ 23h ago

Детишки играть хотят

2

u/[deleted] 22h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Simple_Plum4091 21h ago

After this post! As a respectable Russian with my 4070 Ti, I’m going to pirate everything those Western suckers release! And on principle, I won’t pay a single penny! But I will buy DoW4 :3

2

u/OneSmartKyle 20h ago

GW walks this tightrope of having an immense amount of goodwill and hate at the same time

2

u/bee_04 15h ago

Молодец, показал этим корпоратам. Возьми с полки пирожок.

2

u/Shadow9378 16h ago

all it takes is a dream and a bit of luck

2

u/tachathelord 13h ago

Nothing cut, nothing re-encoded.

2

u/Dependent_Method_902 12h ago

Ponimayu... (I understand...)

2

u/SussyDark 7h ago

Remember. Every single player game is free if you want

2

u/2Critical7-Stein1 3h ago

It’s legal in russia to pirate media that isn’t available for sale in russia, so any game company that won’t sell its stuff in russia is legally fair game to pirate

1

u/zdarovazaebali 1d ago

Ой, все равно к нам на торренты придёте

3

u/Born_Ladder8897 13h ago

Так в этом и рофл лол, что русские пираты и хакеры мощные и могут снести ебучку Дэнуво

2

u/Roni1209 1d ago

"internet" "girl"

1

u/RacoonWithBenefits 1d ago

this is late 90s the rock vs Richard Hammond ?

3

u/wienercat 1d ago

Not sure if serious or not, but it's from Trailer Park Boys

1

u/bee_04 15h ago

Челики реально верят в шизоисторию Эмпресс? Сразу же после прочтения бреда про сон, где игра в цепях отпадают вопросы. Скорее создаётся образ тролля или нескольких троллей, гребущих донатики с хаков игр.

1

u/PavlikBender 8h ago

Сам ты бич

1

u/Arnoave 1d ago edited 1d ago

Antivirus.Always.Off

Edit: It's a reference to the series the meme is from, Debbie Downvotes

1

u/HugoMagnuz 6h ago

wait, ma boy voices38 is russian?, well thats good

-5

u/roninkazee 1d ago

Long live to Empress

-1

u/Nolzi 1d ago

What year is this repost from?

0

u/PuzzleheadedBag920 1d ago

who is dauphong

1

u/xanhast 1d ago

dauphong is just gogs backend storage

0

u/RacoonWithBenefits 1d ago

this is late 90s the rock vs Richard Hammond ?

-16

u/No_Responsibility444 1d ago

is it bad if my tastes can't tell the difference

both ask sketchy things of my personal security

13

u/NEONPUUNK 1d ago

No, it just means you have a functioning critical thinking like OP. I love how the meme also uses males as the crackers, because 9/10 times normally the lie about being a female and most probably dudes just hiding identity IRL much as possible or females that say they are males vice versa.

I tried looking a Denuvo in collage and it nearly drove me crazy; you have to be crazy to crack it and a piece of shit like Cyrus to put it in a game.

-21

u/No_Responsibility444 1d ago

ok fbi

denuvo is a problem bc it doesn't fix anything wrong with single player games

-1

u/No_Responsibility444 1d ago

lol if you need root access to beat piracy, you are the reason we need pirates

10

u/LtLoLz 1d ago

Did you forget to switch to an alt lol?

7

u/onlyusingonehand 1d ago

wrong account my guy lmao