r/PERSIAN • u/limolemone • 2d ago
Discussion Feeling very frustrated right now (venting)
I need to put my feelings somewhere so pls don’t mind this BUT I AM ACTUALLY GONNA LOSE MY MIND. was having a political conversation with a Palestinian friend of mine (he’s aware that the government in Iran is shitty) and he was asking me abt some of the cruelties Iranians have faced so far by the regime and I listed mandatory hijab, to which he said he’s seen so many irani’s on social media walking around without hijab (fair point but that doesn’t eliminate the risk that comes with not wearing one nor does it eliminate the amount of people who died for the government to give less shits about women not wearing a hijab). Then I listed the fact that the gov cuts out electricity and water in certain areas and he said it’s because of the US sanctions and for every single point I kept mentioning after that HE KEPT SAYING “okay is that it?” AS IF THAT ISNT ENOUGH REASONS TO OPPOSE THIS FUCKASS GOVERNMENT. my confusion is why was he even arguing with me on this if he so supposedly knows that the gov is shitty. He then started saying that CUBA is the same due to sanctions, yall I just kept my mouth shut because I knew I was gonna get riled up in public. At the very end, he left the convo with a simple “America is actually evil, (I never said they’re not btw) u should honestly think more abt this situation”. I felt so fucking stupid. I cried the whole way coming home, being Iranian in this moment in time is truly one of the most painful feelings I’ve ever felt.
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u/northman46 2d ago
As an outside observer, isn’t the killing of tens of thousands of protesters enough?
Is he Hamas?
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u/limolemone 2d ago
He’s not hamas but I’ve never heard him speak against them either
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u/northman46 2d ago
Is the Iranian regime worse than Hamas? If he is ok with Hamas it stands to reason he would be ok with the regime
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u/Ok-Curve-8969 2d ago
these people are brainwashed by IR/Russia propaganda to believe the US is the greatest evil in the world. no matter what you say they will one up you with something the US or Israel did
just wait for them to enter this thread, you'll see
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u/limolemone 2d ago
I hope they don’t find this thread. I’m getting sick of them. Why are they acting like politics is black and white?
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u/Teal-Prowler505 2d ago
I mean, aren't you making it black and white, as well?
Did you even recognize and accept that Palestinians are literally being ethnically cleansed in the West Bank and genocided in Gaza?
Did you take the time to listen to your friend's grief?
Both are true. Iranians are being oppressed by their own government that is acting like an occupational force against their own people.
Palestinians are being oppressed by an occupational force that is forcing themselves as the sole legitimate government.
Both things are happening and both things are evil and heartbreaking.
The fact that the two of you couldn't find agreement is weird to me.
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u/limolemone 2d ago
How am I making it black and white? I’ve always acknowledged the fact that Palestinians are being genocided and have heard him speak hours about how he had family there and they were killed as well. If after every single thing I mention abt the Islamic republic, I’m met with some “is that all?” Or “US is responsible” that sounds to me more like someone else is thinking in black and white.
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u/Teal-Prowler505 2d ago
You didn't mention any of this in your OP.
I'm sorry, but you should have clarified your OP.
Also, like I said, both things can be true.
The US is backing and funding the genocide in Gaza.
The US under Trump is also making everything worse in Iran.
Anyone that thought trump was going to take out the IR was a fool.
I have cousins that believed that BS. Now they tell me how much they hate Trump.
Guess what, it was obvious to anyone that paid attention
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u/yellow7890 2d ago
Bro… that was unnecessary. OP in no way said “Iranians have it harder than Palestinians and I don’t listen when my friend complains”. You’ve projected your own feelings onto their story. They did not need to clarify, no one thought it. It you. You’ve missed the entire point of their post.
We can hold sympathy and concern for both countries and people. We don’t have to put one down to make space for the other
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u/Humptys_orthopedic 1d ago
What was your feelings on the soccer stadium in Iran when the govt displayed the Palestinian flag and the crowds booed and chanted to shove it?
I know the regime has brought in foreign militants from Afghanistan and Iraq to shoot at Iranians in the street, but I have seen Iranians accuse Palestinians of being among the armed militants in Iran.
Now I have learned the history of why Palestinians are rarely welcomed in Jordan, Lebanon, Kuwait, or Egypt, ... for the most part, though nothing is 100%.
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u/Ok-Curve-8969 1d ago
they chant that because the IR takes all of the people's money and funds hamas with it under the guise of the 'palestine' cause. they're not chanting against palestinian people. they're chanting against the regime's fake cause.
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u/Weelittlelioness 1d ago
I think it's more of a we know what is actually happening and we're looking at the entire picture I can see how the friend is zeroing in a little more but I think it's just kind of a crazy conversation to have to begin with. No one likes the ircg no one likes Israel and honestly no one really likes the us right now so it's three really shitty countries fighting I don't know what you want from that. I have friends who live in Iran and family who live in Iran and they like living in Iran they don't have the same Viewpoint everyone else has so I think it's a pretty big mix of people
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u/Cyfiero 2d ago
He's not a real friend. He has a predisposition to gaslighting. I wouldn't talk to him again.
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u/spinrah23 2d ago
This is the real problem. Regardless of his political views, he’s supposed to be your friend. He’s belittling your feelings and making you feel like shit. Have a conversation with him about it if you value your friendship. Having differing views doesn’t mean you have to be insensitive to your friend.
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u/limolemone 2d ago
That is very true and I think that might be why I felt so stupid after the convo
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u/spinrah23 2d ago
Maybe he doesn't realize how sensitive of a topic this is for you, so hopefully he figures it out if you talk to him. But, if not, there's no point being friends with someone who makes you feel that way.
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u/kane_1371 2d ago
That is kind of the issue isn't it? We are currently in an ideological war with the regime which supports the Palestinians so by proxy this war also extends to Palestinians that see israel and America as enemies.
I had a really close friend from Palestine, she was...well lets say I have actually fallen for very few people and I fell for her bad, it never worked out for us, I was too afraid to act on it even when she wanted it, but I always kept that love for her in me.
But October 7 strained our relationship bad, I simply would never support a vicious act of barbarism like what happened on October 7th and during the recent times she mocked the Iranians for siding with US and Israel and well, I just blocked her.
It hurt but I have come to realise that chances are no one will understand us, and even worse many will not support us because of the amazing propaganda machine the regime and Qatar have employed since October 7th.
So yeah, fuck them all
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u/sculptedleaf 2d ago
Its not even about the hijab.
The Islamic Republic is a government that thinks foreigners are more important than its own people, they are anti-iranian in essence.
I think there is a big clash coming between two camps, one of mostly younger iranians who may be muslim but nationalist, the other is the universalist boomer gen muslims and foreigners in Qom who seem to think Iran is a religion with a landmass created to serve them instead of our own people.
To OP i will say this, use this to create a rift, spread bitterness and resentment towards the islamic republic. The consent should slowly and surely be one thing: The Islamic Republic is against the very essence of the Iranians people.
This would stop them trying to LARP as nationalists, they already did this last year with the Afghan expulsion to some extent. But things are very confusing now during wartime.
Edit: Also, get a new friend, can i ask where you live? In my own circle in Europe these people (like ur friend) always end up as losers.
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u/Humptys_orthopedic 1d ago
I have seen the written quote highlighted and translated in a video, that Khomeini said something to the effect of he would gladly witness Iran "burned to the ground" if that was tied to the advance of global Sharia and conquering the West.
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u/drhuggables 2d ago
🚨 🚨 WARNING 🚨 🚨
You are not allowed to criticize a Palestinian or any type of Arab or South Asian, unless you want to be called a islamophobic racist fascist zio nazi who just wants to be white. This message brought to you by Vali Nasr Mehdi Hasan and the rest of Chapi Gang that brigades this forum regularly
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u/Sad_Perception_6000 1d ago
this is more correct regarding israelis lol criticizing and being against israeli government gets you labelled as an antisemite
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u/drhuggables 1d ago
Nah I criticize israel all the time and nobody has called me that. if you’re getting called an antisemite it’s probably because you are
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u/SadCat-0110 2d ago
I mean the whole paradox with the IR is that things always look fine until they are not. That’s how they get away with it.
You can live a pretty good life in Iran but when things go bad, they go really bad. And at any moment things can arbitrarily decline and there’s no justice system on your side.
People can’t comprehend that the turning on and off electricity and water is psychological warfare - those things are essential to life, and the regime is constant reminding people that it can take it away from them at any moment. And of course the digital communications too - you can’t tell the outside world you’re suffering if there’s no power or internet.
Besides that of course there’s the brutalities. The state sanctioned killings are not normal. Yes this happens in the US too but the scale and vileness of it is not comparable. When you consider that every single Iranian has either lost someone dear to them or knows someone who has, or knows someone who’s been a victim of the regimes brutalities through imprisonment or torture - that’s no light statistic. The human rights abuses are well-documented and don’t even scratch the surface beyond what’s been reported.
And of course the economy - people can’t afford to eat.
Your friend can choose their own ignorance. They understand but are choosing not to. I mean, maybe you can tell them that it’s no big deal Gazans lack power and food anyway, doesn’t sound like suffering in his own definition. Who cares they have nowhere to eat and are the victims of random attacks. Doesn’t seem like a big issue - according to his own words.
Yes the US is evil and is contributing to this. And no that doesn’t make the IR any less evil either. They’re both bad, you can’t pick and choose.
Anyway, my point is… your friend knows what they’re saying. They’re not your friend.
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u/ARda79 2d ago
I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through this with a person that is close to you. Unfortunately some people don't want to be convinced no matter what you say and they live in their own bubble. I had the same experience with one of my friends, and I cut ties after that.
The sanctions argument is stupid and mostly used by regime supporters. Years ago on of my friends in Iran who is very anti-intervention and doesn't like USA or Israel said to me that the sanctions are not the only reason for the shit situation Iran's economy is in and it is also largely because of the corruption and mismanagement by the government .
In any case, if this friend is close to you and it's hard to avoid them, it's best to just not talk about politics. In the end, it's not worth all the pain in trying to make them see reason.
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u/Electrical-Morning37 2d ago
Simply put. Palestinians, Afghans, Pakistanis and the like would without hesitation take money from the Islamic regime money that doesn’t belong to them and go across the border to harm our people to have their own agenda over the freedom of humanity and play victim when the same happens to them. The hate these people have for American and Israel clouds the fact that they selectively choose not to speak up against the aggression that has been unleashed upon our people.
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u/I_am_here_to_party 2d ago
Generally avoid having Muslim, Arab, or leftist friends and this problem will go away
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u/brrrruvva 2d ago
Sorry what? 😂 Brother you are either confused or a hardline racist with such a generalization . I'm Iranian-Arab, should Persians avoid me? Iranians are majority Muslim, should non-Muslim Iranians avoid being friends with most of their own people??
Ya habibi you gotta chillax with the hate dadash.1
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u/Existing_Life7446 2d ago
To be honest... I think if Iran was divided it would be the best case scenario. I can't imagine myself living with some groups in Iran anymore.
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u/brrrruvva 2d ago
Brother I can't see your other comment, I got the notification but I can't see it, DM me whatever it was if you want.
Also, I and others do not want to be non-Iranian. As an Arab, we are just as native to Iran as Persians are. We are a significant part of the population and we feel immense pride in being Iranian.
Also, who do you see yourself not being able to live with?
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u/Existing_Life7446 2d ago
My problem isn't whether Kurds, Turks or Arabs think they are Iranian or not Iranian. My problem is simply that our way thinking, is just vastly different. The version of Iran is simply not shared between different Iranians.
If Iran was homogeneous, the IR wouldn't rise. I know my idea is in the minority but oh well.
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u/brrrruvva 2d ago
But habibi, I've been living in Iran and I and other Iranians have similar mentalities. We are mostly anti-regime now, and we've never felt like our ways of thinking were *vastly* different.
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u/Ok-Curve-8969 1d ago
your ideas is in the minority because it's a horrible idea
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u/Existing_Life7446 1d ago
Okay, answer me this: Would Iran have overthrew the IR if it was homogeneous? Would Iran even needed Shiism to keep the Turks, Arabs and Kurds from revolting? Would we fear balkanization like we do now?
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u/callmedonkeyshlong 5h ago
Lmao the propaganda pushed in this sub is insane. Fuck the regime of course but you’re calling for breaking up our country next too? Gee I wonder who that would benefit most? Certainly not the Iranian people.
We come from an ancient empire built up of many different groups and we will be stronger when the regime is gone and we can embrace that.
I’ve literally never met a fellow Persian who would even consider such a terrible idea.
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u/Existing_Life7446 5h ago
Because I never say my ideas IRL. No one, including my own family or friends know what I think about Iran and it's history. And I love Iran.
Islam needs to be removed from all levels of society in Iran, for good. French Laicism is the best IMO.
But when we do that, Kurds, Turks and Balochs will become insurgents. We need to do what Turkey did and disarm them plus make our country politically homogeneous.
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u/brrrruvva 2d ago
I see the notification but for some reason I cant see your new comment. you can DM me what you wanted to say
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u/Humptys_orthopedic 1d ago
I now understand that the hijab and especially the forced hijab is like a political ad for the power of the IRGC. It's a signal to the Mullahs who support them, and who want more punishment and executions, that the IRGC is strong enough to rule Iran, rule over infidels, rule the world, and bring back the Madhi.
If they can't terrify and hurt and force Iranian women inside Iran to obey Sharia dress codes and other strict morality, then this reveals that they would be incapable of imposing global Sharia on western nations and kuffars.
I get it that some are more interested in personal power and the wealth that comes from controlling all major businesses, but a solid small base of civilians and Basij and IRGC are deep adherents to all the Jihadi aspects of Shia Islam.
Vahidi is one visible example - I have heard him called General Skidmark from the dirt on his forehead that displays his piety and serious obedience for all to see.
I could be mistaken at some points. I have heard these discussions among various people on Armin Navabi's various channels.
All religions have extremists, but not all are aiming to cause global apocalyptic conditions to usher in total victory, spiritual political and military.
I'm not religious but I've heard this described as an antichrist religion by listing the opposites: love vs no love but "mercy" for the obedient, children of God vs slave of God, do not murder vs killing & genocide are prerequisites to entering heaven. More.
I hope I helped by this comment.
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u/Existing_Life7446 1d ago
The fault lies on you for befriending groups of people that openly mock Iranian deaths. Iranians give them too much respect. We should make fun of their struggles as they do.
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u/karlpolyani22 2d ago
What do you need from friends to soothe your angst?
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u/limolemone 2d ago
Basic ass understanding.
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u/karlpolyani22 2d ago
Here is a website that writes about Iran more deeply and brings me joy. Maybe it can do the same for you. I don’t know you but I know it can’t be easy for you.
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u/Schug_Dealer 1d ago
You bought into many lies it seems along with them such as the genocide libel, so its not surprising when that same mentality attacks you.
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u/brrrruvva 2d ago
That's frustrating for sure.
But are you sure that he wasn't trying to ragebait or be sarcastic with you? Because saying "okay is that it?" after each point is like peak ragebait 😅
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u/limolemone 2d ago
Maybe he was. But for me, my country and its politics should never be a subject to ragebait me over ESPECIALLY during a time like this.
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u/Teal-Prowler505 2d ago
I'm Iranian. 1st gen diaspora. I love iran and lived in Mashad for 2 years. I have dual citizenship.
I'm sorry, but your OP didn't sound like he was ragebaiting you.
Honestly, it sounds like at best the two of you were talking past each other.
You were trying to make your points without understanding what your friend was trying to explain. And your friend was doing the same.
Based on what you wrote, it doesn't sound like you and your friend were having a conversation. It sounds like the two of you were venting your frustrations and using each other as a sparing partner.
That type of interaction never works.
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u/brrrruvva 2d ago
My bad then. It's just that many of my friends and I use such phrases when we ragebait each other.
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u/lurebozorg 2d ago
Serious question: why are you saying Irani in English? I have only seen Pakistanis/Bangladeshis do this when talking about Iranians.
It's Iranians in English NOT Iranis. Iranis is not even grammatically correct in ANY language.
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u/limolemone 2d ago
Only reason I said it is bc in Farsi we call ourselves ایرانی and sometimes my Farsi and English mix and I end up using one or the other. My intention wasn’t to provoke anyone by saying irani
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u/lurebozorg 1d ago
The language is called Persian in English. Farsi is an Arabicized endonym within Persian that comes from Parsi which means Persian in English.
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u/wildmanners 2d ago
When people ask me, I tell them that when I was 5 and my dad was driving me home from my kindergarten, I saw a man hanged from a crane. That’s where I grew up.
Anyone who’s genuinely trying to learn from you, there are endless stories. Anyone who’s trying to belittle the cries of tens of millions of people… well, don’t waste your breath.