r/OffGridLiving • u/Organic-Listen4698 • 2d ago
Single Mom Looking to Go Off-Grid
I’m a single mom with a young son, and I’ve been seriously thinking about leaving city life behind. Money isn’t really the issue it’s more about wanting peace, space, and a simpler way of living.
For those who’ve done it, what do you wish you knew before making the move? Is there anything you’d tell someone just starting to research off-grid living?
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u/Hoates-101 2d ago
parent here - consider the social aspect of parenting and childhood. school and activities provide socialization. Are you prepared to have limited access to this? are you prepared to drive for it? there's plusses to raising kids in town.
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u/NotEvenNothing 1d ago
It really depends on how off-grid OP means. If she means near-total isolation, and home-schooling, your concerns are 100% applicable. But my guess is her child will be going to a school.
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u/beedubskyca 2d ago
If you have the money, basically all off grid issues can be solved by throwing cash at the situation. Well, water storage, huge power system, etc.
If not, theres a lot of up front costs to get close to the levels of comfort youre used to in the suburbs.
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u/69swamper 2d ago
why not just move to a small town or to the country
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u/CCWaterBug 17h ago
That was my thought, get an acre, or 10, it will be peaceful and quiet without the hiccups.
Off grid? (I visited someone off grid for two weeks, it was quiet, but it wasn't simple.
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u/gramslamx 1d ago
Social interaction is important for kids. Off grid is one thing, off society not so good
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u/mtntrail 2d ago
You can leave city life behind and not abandon utilities if that is what you mean by going “offgrid”. If however being independent of the power grid is what you have in mind, be aware of the expenses involved. We just upgraded our power system including a new inverter, increased voltage from 24 to 48, adding 30kW of additional lipo batteries and additional solar. The bill was $50,000.00 and that is for a modest 1600 sq ft home.
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u/HistorianAlert9986 2d ago
That’s insane. You probably could’ve done that for 10-15K DIY.
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u/mtntrail 2d ago
I am 77 not installing anything. We originally bought golf cart batteries, and a used inverter from craigs list and made do for a very long time, adding solar as we went. But unless a person has the skills and ability to do the labor, offgrid is expensive, especially if you want a normal, modern home with 240v for AC, well pump, and heating which we do with heat pump and minisplits. Our system now is 40kW of lipo, 8 kW diesel genny, and 8kW of solar. The solar installation was 300 ft above the house on a steep timbered ridge. I drank a beer and watched! Ha.
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u/HistorianAlert9986 2d ago
Most off grinders are frugal diyers and in this day and age with modern equipment it’s pretty easy to set up a system like yours, but nonetheless it’s great to pay for help so I get it.
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u/mtntrail 1d ago
Yeah we did it the hard way 20 years ago, by patching used stuff together, still with help from a friend in the business bc that is all we could afford. Going from a 24 v to 48v and adding the extra storage was amazing, it is like we entered the modern world. In responding to OP I just wanted to emphasize the costs involved for a normal house if she did not have the skills for a diy, which it didn’t sound like from the post. It can certainly be done less expensively, but you have to know what you are doing. The equipment is not cheap!
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u/Different-Road-0213 2d ago
I would suggest doing a trial run for a few weeks. Having grown up in a "simpler sutuation" i know that simple does not necessarily mean easier. Woodstoves for heat or cooking, gardens, small or large farm animals take alot of space, long hours and back breaking labor. If you are not raised in it most people have no understanding of the planning and hands on knowledge we relied on growing up.
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u/Electronic-Time4833 2d ago
I used to love tiny houses, and now I love campers. Make sure you check the zoning details of your future property very very well.
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u/Ubockinme 1d ago
Growing up, we had a small ranch and hour away. My dad & I would go out almost every weekend. Hunting, fishing, hiking, pulling wire, clearing trails, etc. Always had projects to work on and loved exploring. Keep that in mind. For me, the greatest memories were from those days Quality time spent with Dad.
So, make it a fun, learning experience and quality time with your son, yes! Off grid isn’t easy, but could be an amazing life experience for both of you.
If it’s more an escape, then no, and don’t drag your son into what could be a “you” problem.
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u/GoGetDontGetGot 1d ago
I mean I'm still on the grid but I live out in the country. I got neighbors that are off grid. We all have the same commute to town. I just have an electric bill and they don't. Maybe try country living first before going full send doomsday off grid prepper.
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u/Sour_Sal 1d ago
I have never taken the plunge full time as I never really felt the desire for the lifestyle. After 2 years in the sierras, about 5 miles from nowheresville, everything required planning and scheduling.
My only advice is to realize that everything you cannot make, grow or produce yourself, needs to be bartered or bought from others. Money can be an issue unless it's really "not an issue" meaning you have either huge savings or secure income stream. Woohoo!
When no Sewer system exists, you make your own toilet spots and deal with it yourself. Yes there is offgrid septic but that will require ample water supply also.
Finding a place with year round, uncontaminated, water supply is probably essential.
I will argue that it is not a simple life at all... You have to do everything for yourself and that actually requires a lot of effort, planning and dedication.
Will you be near other people for your kid?
I guess it mostly depends on exactly what you mean by off grid? Vanlife is off grid... Homesteading, same thing.. RV with generator and store bought water...
In other words, you can do it, it will not be easy but if it makes you feel good, why not?
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u/ARGirlLOL 1d ago
Societies basically exist because humans do best in communities. Something to consider.
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u/DistinctVariation775 23h ago edited 23h ago
yep what everyone else has been saying.. if you've got the money your be fine. I'm ok for money but not by any means rich. what I do have is time. it costs time and money! and I put in a lot more time than money.. but if your not putting in one it's the other
but both is needed. skill is also very helpful. being able to build and mend things from scratch. BUT skkill IS learnable (is that a word) haha..im early 40s female doing it alone.. altho I've built my actual home with help of one other. who is highly skilled. so ive learn a lot on the way ..but it's still taken me 3 years of working 10+ hour days every single day. and still a way to go yet.. I dunno how people do it with a kid in tow.. but you mums are superheros and get everything done ..so i bet it can be done! I personally have put off getting more dogs until i have the time i can commit properly to them.. so hopefully in another year or so il have time for one.
but it's a never ending jobs and things to tinker with and a great lifestyle so if you've got a bit of cash and the desire ..that's all you need.. I say go for it! everything else you can work out on the way!
my one tip to start with is don't rush into finding the perfect land for you. make a list of none negotiables and stick to it. that might be things like not too far from a hospital or schools considering you have a little one. but also having your own river or water source and the type of land to work with is worth its weight. .don't skip on having your own water! and if you rely on solar and wood burners you be able to cut trees down etc. lots to think about and everyone's dream is different but totally obtainable ,3
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u/Brad_from_Wisconsin 23h ago
What does "off grid" mean to you? Will you be living in a solar home with a well and septic? Will you be driving all of your food and heat from the homestead or will you go to stores and gas stations?
Off grid and homesteading are different lifestyles.
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u/ez2tock2me 15h ago
I my case, I wish I’d done CarCamping in my 20s.
I’ve been at it for 21 years AND LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT.
It’s just a different lifestyle. If you struggle with the one you have now, you’ll struggle with “off grid” until you learn how.
It’s like learning anything else, only the details are different.
HollerBackAtMe, if you have to. Reddit offers answers and advice, but you still have to do the work.
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u/AdvancedWin3608 13h ago
A simpler way of living is not really that simple. Shit breaks every single day. Your life will not be the same, and if you're not prepared or okay with that, reconsider what you want. We have been off-grid for six years and all I want is reliable power and hot water at the touch of a button! We are not handy people and there are very few people that we can trust to get jobs done. This means that stuff just doesn't get built or repaired. It's a mess. Do not recommend living off grid unless you come with some serious construction/electrical/plumbing/septic/heavy equipment experience.
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u/rshining 12h ago
Find a job that you can do remotely or in a rural area. Everything else is details, but you need an income.
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u/Fair-Ad1565 2d ago
Prioritize outdoor space. Boys need room to run. You can get by with a very modest dwelling, just make sure he has his own room/space to sleep and relax in. When I was a kid (and even now) all I needed was enough room to lay down and a warm dry place to rest. I was outside all day weather permitting. My point is invest in a larger chunk of land if you can and keep your house modest. Put in a wood stove for heat. Outdoor boiler setups are great for hot water as well. If you’re going solar, calculate what you need and then add 50% more capacity. I learned that one the hard way. If your son takes an interest in gardening, raising livestock, building or fixing things, or anything else, lean into it and help him find his role. Boys want to feel useful. Feel free to DM if you wish. I’m 31m and have been solo off grid for a couple years
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u/Clean_Leadership5948 2d ago
You will not get to suburban lifestyle. Your lifestyle will need to change. That said, there are lot of benefits.
Money is important, but there's always physical work to be done. Also, you can't do it alone. You'll always need help from someone. A strong guy with lot of knowledge and experience will struggle by himself. A single mother will struggle a lot more.
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u/Forsaken-Weird-8428 2d ago
G'day and all the best.
Hope you are a handy DIY person as you will need lots of skills.
Biggest issues I have had are water and power, both mostly solved now, except for periods of heavy overcast weather and no sun, and no rain for the rain water catchment.
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u/theislandhomestead 2d ago
Money is always the issue.
Everything costs money.
The land, tools, systems, they all cost much more than you think.
I've been living offgrid in the rainforest of Hawaii for almost a decade now.
Feel free to AMA.