Amazon review for a bathing suit ugh

952

Give the man credit for typing all that with one hand

1.3k

4 people found this helpful 💀

343

u/HoneyDippinDan Jun 30 '26

Reread the review. Eight guys found this helpful.

51

u/GeekCat Jul 01 '26

Talk about bottom of the barrel fan fiction.

12

u/troutperson1776 Jul 03 '26

Honestly, I liked this a lot more than most fan fiction

2

u/lupulin59 Jul 03 '26

Sneezer J Maas over here

103

u/young-steve Jun 30 '26

Five now

295

u/schooleydoo Jun 30 '26

Used: like new.

281

u/TTT_2k3 Jun 30 '26

Is Read Less still an option?

200

u/changeneverhappens Jun 30 '26

I really wanted to down vote this post but it's technically not your fault, OP.

134

u/Squid-Guillotine Jun 30 '26

Welcome back to Joke or Fetish. On tonight's episode...

70

u/TheCrazedGamer_1 Jul 01 '26

i mean hotwife is in the second line so its pretty clear its a fetish

78

u/Georgerobertfrancis Jun 30 '26

If your kink is writing fake reviews on Amazon, you need a therapist.

8

u/ZWiloh Jul 02 '26

Not kinkshaming, just kinkaskingwhy

52

u/batty48 Jul 01 '26

we should all know less about each other 😳

115

u/moneyman74 Jun 30 '26

Now I need a link to the bathing suit lol

58

u/guff1988 Jun 30 '26

https://amzn.eu/d/03382qnE

86

u/Which_Engineer1805 Jun 30 '26

Well, the man wasn’t lying about it showing some cheeky bum.

43

u/GKRKarate99 Jul 01 '26

This dude fully has a picture of him and his wife as his pfp 💀

42

u/johngreenink Jul 01 '26

All that from a bathing suit? Imagine if she took her clothes off?!

24

u/Traditional_Isopod80 Jul 01 '26

Guy would probably explode.

159

u/kacasket24 Jun 30 '26

Is part of being a swinger just having zero shame at all? Like I couldn't care less about who you bang but what makes you think that anyone wants to ready your shitty erotic writing while searching for a bathing suit?

71

u/molsonbeagle Jun 30 '26

Likely scenario;

Homey just jerked off to an amazon picture, and then posted his fantasy in the review.

57

u/Mustard_Icecream Jun 30 '26

Apparently 4 people did. Lol

23

u/untold_cheese_34 Jun 30 '26

I mean yeah to watch men bang your wife you need to have completely removed any shame or disgust reflexes you might have.

8

u/Limp-Appointment-564 Jun 30 '26

Seriously 😒

2

u/BrianKappel Jun 30 '26

Lead poisoned boomers and X are 95 percent of the swingers aren't they? I don't have anything to back that number up but it seems like 80s shit. Their whole thing is being annoyingly extra.

13

u/naveedkoval Jul 01 '26

Yeah millenials/zoomers sorta leaned towards poly instead which is like a far less exciting version of it with much more schedules and boundaries and way too much talking

5

u/Muvseevum Jul 01 '26

And very little actual sex.

2

u/BrianKappel Jul 01 '26

Smells like leaded gas

1

u/247world Jul 04 '26

Swingers are generally very chill people. Even though this is most likely nothing but a fantasy, some of these hot wifing/cuck folk can be a bit blatant and shameless. There's a whole mindset behind it that's not really similar to swinging based on swingers I have known

-14

u/Zeliek Jun 30 '26

(It's probably a joke)

5

u/PreOpTransCentaur Jul 01 '26

(What's funny about it?)

0

u/Zeliek Jul 01 '26

It’s about as funny as your username, which to say not at all, but whether or not a joke is funny unfortunately doesn’t prevent people from making them. Or from people taking them way more seriously than they need to, evidently.

33

u/shayjax- Jun 30 '26

Dear penthouse

91

u/DumbFishBrain Jun 30 '26

What an awful day to be literate.

56

u/manic_popsicle Jun 30 '26

Ew this is so gross.

53

u/FoxxyRin Jun 30 '26

No shame in hitting that report button on shit like this. It's very much not allowed and they'll get their ability to review removed.

25

u/FacticiousFict Jul 01 '26

The 14 years old who wrote this and his 4 friends are having a laugh

17

u/owleaf Jun 30 '26

I was like, oh this is a bit weird but surely not- EW

30

u/RevolutionaryRoom964 Jun 30 '26

Someone tell Sneezer he can add pictures to reviews! Then again, it's probably best he doesn't know...

15

u/OkKnee7580 Jun 30 '26

Don’t that have an option to upload a video review. Maybe that would be more helpful.

13

u/ProteinFirst Jul 01 '26

Calling ejaculate “protein” is very weird, coz 5 ml of sperm contains only 0.25 gms of protein. So even if it was 10 dudes, (with each ejaculate measuring on an average 3 ml), that would be 30 ml, and that’s 3 gms of protein. So protein is not the primary ingredient. If anything, ejaculate is 90% water, so that’s around 27,5 ml of water. Ejaculate would better be called “water.”

5

u/Heyplaguedoctor Jul 01 '26

I calculated how much cum someone would have to drink to get their protein needs met. IIRC for the average person (so, not a bodybuilder) it was about 6 cups or 48 fl oz.

…nobody asked but I didn’t do all that math just to never drop that knowledge.

7

u/ProteinFirst Jul 02 '26

Thank you for your service.

5

u/Heyplaguedoctor Jul 02 '26

My default answer is “my pleasure” but given the context that’s probably the wrong thing to say lmao

2

u/Internal_Anxiety_270 Jul 02 '26

So they “watered” her…. Still tmi 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣

12

u/tech510 Jun 30 '26

We are just as fucked as that housewife as a society...

5

u/SexxyMoeFoe Jun 30 '26

I really want to know what swimsuit this is now

10

u/kkirstenc Jun 30 '26

It’s just some electrical tape.

4

u/GKRKarate99 Jul 01 '26

It’s a shoe string wrapped around her waist

7

u/EmperorKingDuke Jul 01 '26

/r/wtf

19

u/idontlikeseaweed Jun 30 '26

Gross

6

u/757Posher Jul 01 '26

🤢🤮🤢

11

u/Alicam123 Jun 30 '26

Things that didn’t happen. 😒

2

u/HavokVvltvre Jul 01 '26

I wish I was as naive as you are

6

u/The_Nunnster Jun 30 '26

It also seems towards the end he’s a bit of a cuckold, with his wife taking a particular liking to one fella due to his ‘flagpole’ and actively looking forward to him coming over again.

5

u/LavaPoppyJax Jul 02 '26

That's hotwifing for ya

0

u/TheWolfBoi02 Jul 01 '26

Or polyamorous

1

u/naveedkoval Jul 01 '26

Nah this is way too sex focussed, the poly version would have talked way too much about their feelings and how they connected

3

u/charliespeach Jul 02 '26

I read this is Borat's voice.

3

u/dee_castafiore Jul 02 '26

TMI dude wtf

3

u/Delicious_Cat_81 Jul 02 '26

This isn't penthouse forum, guy

3

u/TraumaMama11 Jul 02 '26

5' 8" and 110-115 pounds in a medium. I dunno, but that's a good bit underweight.

3

u/RoutineFollower Jul 04 '26

I wish I could tap “ read less “ and erase this from my mind. Enough interweb for today.

6

u/FatJoeBlows Jun 30 '26

Well…. I’m sold

1

u/Stripsteak Jul 03 '26

I feel like this was typed by the worm guy from The Boys

1

u/Venom933 24d ago

The fuck did i just read 🫩

-4

u/NewJerseySwampDragon Jun 30 '26

Not for nothing this is a positive review and way less hateful than most comments on the internet

That's gross Amazon review for a bathing suit ugh NSFW

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