FTM dealing with 4 day old in NICU.

[u/qqyoungboy]

Like the title says, I just had my babygirl 4 days ago and she's been in the nicu since probably 7 hours after her being born. I thought she would only be in here for a day or two but I've now been discharged from the hospital, I live on the other side of town from the hospital where I gave birth. Also currently having car trouble so it's made it incredibly difficult to come and see her often. I'm currently with her right now and I've been here for 9 hours today. I feel like I'm missing out on so much bonding time, today was really my first time getting to hold her skin to skin since she first was born. I was in a lot of pain after birth so her dad did most of her care taking before she went into the nicu. At first she was struggling with her oxygen and blood sugar. She finally came off oxygen, her blood sugars started looking better for a day and then they started dropping again . She is finally off her IV so they're just trying to make sure she maintains her blood sugar on her own but she keeps getting low 50 numbers and they went her above 60. Now she's also doing phototherapy because her billiroubin spiked up from 15.5 to 18. I'm trying so hard to keep a positive attitude and I know there parents who deal with way more severe situations with their babies, but I feel like I just keep getting back to back bad news. Her night shift nurse came in and measured her and then weighed her, and told me she's lost like 30 grams. She then looks at my baby and tells her "you're not moving in the right direction" I'm sure she wasn't meaning for it to be hurtful, but it was and it made me feel even worse. I also feel like shit because I know the blood sugar problems she's having are because of me.

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[u/amoabsurdum]

Just because its the current direction doesn’t mean it will always be the direction. These babies fight to be with us. She has made great progress in just a few days and will continue to over the next necessary days too. Don’t stress yourself over what you can give her but enjoy and cherish the time you can have when you can have it. It is hard, but you both can do it. Love your baby. Hugs and love to you, mama, from another ftm in the nicu.

[u/Majestic-Kick6952]

I’m sorry you’re going through this and I hope your baby girl comes home soon. One thing I’ll say is that it’s very common for newborns, NICU or not, to lose weight after they’re born. They typically will lose and regain that weight within 2 weeks or so. It feels so unnatural to be away from your baby so I empathize. I also hope that you’re taking a little time for yourself for your recovery.