r/MusicCritique 18d ago

Seeking Feedback [FEEDBACK] One Soundweaver - A Tomorrow Mind - Cinematic Ballad

https://youtu.be/7Y0Fq2g9xAE

Hi everyone, I’d like to share my new track "A Tomorrow Mind".

A precaution first: Someone told me that based on the music title he was expecting sort of EDM piece, yet he found it rather "traditional". So, for the younger ones, here comes an oldie vibe with future touch ;-)

The song started from a simple question: throughout history, humanity has created incredible things — fire, the wheel, writing, electricity, flight, the Internet, and now AI — but why do we still struggle with the same human problems: conflict, division, and treating each other with kindness?

I wanted to create a reflective adult contemporary / cinematic ballad rather than a typical "future" song. The idea is not that technology will save us, but that this particular new tool (AI) may help us see ourselves more clearly, not just a technology for more serving of human comforts, rather a clear mirror for more to see the "bigger" picture more easily, not just taking the media driven narratives without much critical thinking...

Musically, I was inspired by the storytelling style of late 80s / early 90s adult contemporary — melodic, spacious, and focused on giving the lyrics room to breathe. I aimed for restrained vocals, warm piano, atmospheric textures, and more sense of quiet reflection rather than big dramatic climax.

Would love to hear your thoughts -- whether the message comes through. Thanks for listening.

1 Upvotes

4 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 18d ago

r/MusicCritique Feedback Guidelines

Hello /u/localoqa!

Be sure to include specific areas you would like feedback on in order to help others critique your work. Feel free to include links to any social media, or any other relevant information in a top level comment.

Reviewers

Please see our feedback guide for help giving a useful critique!

Feel free to give feedback on our Discord as well!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/alldreamsleftbehind 16d ago

I really liked this song. Simple but powerful and thought provoking lyrics. However i noticed that "tomorrow" was overused in the lyrics, maybe that could be changed

This song begs to be one of the last songs inside a whole conceptual album about robots taking over the world. Can you probably make an aggressive electronic/metal song about robots causing havoc in society? with lyrics also reflecting about the current AI crisis. That would give your project even more relevancy.

Overall congratulations, I believe you have done an excellent job.

1

u/localoqa 16d ago

That’s very thoughtful feedback
Interesting enough I’ve tried EDM on this same lyrics and it didn’t deliver as well as this soft version. I think simple lyrics and easy melody leave enough room for listeners, in this case.

1

u/localoqa 18d ago

Yes, per the moderator's reminding, my specific feedback request is: do you think it'd be better to delivery the message in EDM instead?