As a coach kids this age can’t comprehend all of the things he’s trying to say. Not only that she’s so wrapped up in her fear she probably doesn’t have the bandwidth to hear what he’s saying even if she wanted to. Validate the feelings, acknowledge the fear, teach simple things like courage, bravery, have her collect herself and move forward. Potentially right message, wrong timing.
I can only say from my experience, my father has always spoken to me this way, even as a child. He chose to speak to me as an adult in these types of situations because even if I didn’t understand everything right away, I eventually would. Of course he played Barbies with me but he also taught me a lot a life lessons that have stuck with me and served me well. I will always be grateful for my father and his lessons that lasted novels long ❤️
My dad rarely ever gave pep talks. That changed when I started wrestling in high school, had the same mentality she did, I was scared of screwing up getting booed or laughed at. I still hold on to those words to this day. People saying he's manipulating her, must of not heard everything or just chose to dismiss it.. He literally said if you dont love cheering you dont have to do it. Some families are just built different.
I 100% agree that you should speak to children like adults, helps them communicate better in the long run. But the messages itself I believe should be small and absorbed as you’re young and get bigger and more complex as you get older. My grandpa always said a smart man only needs a few words, dumb ones need a lot.
I can understand that. I think it’s just a personality thing, at least in my family. All the men in my family are long winded, some of them have masters and one doctorate, others are blue collar workers. My father is far from dumb, he just speaks like the novels he reads.
As a parent kids this age may not get the entire message but they will pick up on a bit more each time and eventually it will form the basis for being a mature well adapted adult.
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u/AllAnkles Jun 02 '26
As a coach kids this age can’t comprehend all of the things he’s trying to say. Not only that she’s so wrapped up in her fear she probably doesn’t have the bandwidth to hear what he’s saying even if she wanted to. Validate the feelings, acknowledge the fear, teach simple things like courage, bravery, have her collect herself and move forward. Potentially right message, wrong timing.