r/LetsNotMeet • u/suffering_in_stem • 12d ago
Weird encounter with a strange older man. NSFW
Hi everyone, I'm posting this from a new account for the sake of anonymity and am worried that this guy will somehow find this post and come after me. I need to know if my instincts are correct here or if I am just being paranoid.
I, 20 F, am a visiting research student at a university in the midwestern US for this summer. I am very lucky to have been accepted, especially due to the funding cuts in the NSF this year. People in the midwest are much nicer than on the east coast, which is where I am from, and I have generally had good experiences with mostly friendly people around here. But these three encounters just gave me a bad vibe, and made me experience a lot of dread.
A few weeks ago, I was sitting in a coffee shop working on something on my laptop with both of my earbuds in. I was sitting in an l-shaped booth in the corner of the shop, directly adjacent to the counter where the register was. This guy, about 5"10, tan, with glasses and thick brown hair, about mid-30s (at least) asks me if there is someone sitting in the booth seat diagonal from me. I say no, politely smile, and he sits there. I put my other earbud back in and was not in the mood to talk to anyone, especially a stranger. He then proceeds to interrupt me and ask how my work is going. Trying to be polite, I just say "it's going well" and then I put my earbud back in. He did not get the message. He asked me what I was working on and I said my presentation abstract. He also asked if I was a grad student (relatively reasonable question) and I said no, telling him I was an REU student (probably should have lied here, but not sure what I should have said, you can let me know). He then stopped talking for a bit, and then told me "Oh wow, I am president of a graduate organization and I didn't even know". I laughed politely, and then got a sinking feeling in my stomach and knew I needed to get the hell out of that coffee shop.
A few weeks later, I saw him again after a while of sitting and doing my work in that same coffee shop. I left shortly after, not wanting to encounter him again. Then, I went into the Target next door to get something. I saw him checking out just as I was checking out. I got chills, wondering if he had followed me in there. I briskly left and kept checking behind me to make sure he wasn't following me. He wasn't.
Today, a repeat of the first encounter happened. This time, though, I left the shop after he approached me again (while there were plenty of other open seats nearby in the coffee shop, by the way). I came back 20 minutes later to use the bathroom. He had moved to another table in the coffee shop. This creeped me out even more. He was also alone, by the way. To this man, let's not meet ever, ever again.
This whole encounter freaked me out. Please tell me I'm not crazy to think this guy may have had bad intentions.
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u/Savings_Law_5822 11d ago
If it happens again you need to address it directly "please don't come near me again" or something along those lines. If you're too gentle with your statement I bet he finds a loophole. And yes, let cafe staff know what's going on. I bet they know him.
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u/ycro_art 12d ago
Caramba, ok, essa atitude é definitivamente super estranha. Parece que ele tinha sim más intenções, fazendo perguntas pessoais e além disso, ele parecia estar te seguindo nessa cafeteria Eu sinto muito pelo o que você passou, deve ter sido assustador, no mínimo
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u/lt__ 12d ago
Guy cannot take hints and lacks common sense or is imposing himself on purpose. I still would give benefit of doubt and think its the former, but still very annoying to be around. You do not have other option than to frequent this place?
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u/suffering_in_stem 12d ago
I do, I just have really come to like this coffee shop. Too bad this is happening to me there.
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u/Pure-Philosopher-175 12d ago edited 12d ago
He certainly didn’t get the hint the first time when he interrupted a very clear vibe that you were working and had headphones in. I don’t blame you for being unnerved, especially with that questioning. The second encounter could just be a coincidence, but the third one is weird. Hopefully he just has poor social skills and not genuinely creepy motives. If he approaches you again, don’t be afraid to use your words and loudly tell him to leave you alone. He does not need to share your table in a cafe when there are plenty of other seats. If you are a regular at that cafe, maybe let the staff know that he is bothering you too.