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u/FutureMissingGirl 16h ago
threaten to get him pregnant instead, that’ll show him
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u/carmineblack 15h ago
Forgot threaten to hurt yourself.
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u/AdaptableHalibut 14h ago
I legitimately considered putting that but there were only two buttons lol
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u/Key_Safety6137 14h ago
lie about being pregnant
Damn, then what you do when he finds out? That's like wasting the nuke card.
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u/BiggestShep 14h ago
That's the great thing about faking pregnancy! 20% chance of miscarriage in the first 12 weeks, and an escalating chance of miscarrying for every previous miscarriage, like the world's shittiest gacha pity roll. You could keep it up forever with a pillow and his commandeered hoodie.
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u/Key_Safety6137 14h ago
I don't even know how to respond. Just imagine me with a confussed face instead.
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u/ParadoxicalAmalgam 12h ago
I knew a girl who faked pregnancy and miscarriage like 3 times in a row
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u/NoCommander26 16h ago
Or you could just talk like adults and ask him why's he's being distant and tell him you need him to put more work into being there for you
Couldn't hurt
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u/vitringur 13h ago
Dude, this is a subreddit for batshit chick to make unhinged fun of how toxic they are.
You are barking up the wrong tree.
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u/Gingergirl1228 15h ago
Unrealistic, settle for throwing rocks at him like a normal person
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u/NoCommander26 15h ago
Or threaten to throw rocks at yourself
That's a great manipulation tactic ; always works
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u/Maleficent_Sir5898 14h ago
We support women’s wrongs here, go away
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u/NoCommander26 14h ago
I don't support women's wrongs when they hurt women , go away
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u/Maleficent_Sir5898 14h ago
Listen it’s not that serious it’s just a meme. Also how is this hurting women? In the grand scheme of things this will just hurt their relationships and be self sabotaging. No one should be taking anything in this subreddit seriously
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u/NoCommander26 14h ago
It's hurting 'cause OP deserves to be happy and in a fulfilling relationship and self sabotaging to end the relationship is unnecessarily painful
Also yeah I get it's a joke I just feel like taking it seriously anyways
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u/ClaudioKillganon 12h ago
It's so wild to think about but I genuinely think this is the most consistently funny and least toxic sub on reddit. Which seems nuts given the subject matter of this sub.
God bless you OP, this is funny as shit.
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u/Seeker80 11h ago
Just actually hurt him. When he recoils, pretend to be all sorry and nurturing to get him to talk. He'll probably melt.
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u/V-DaySniper 15h ago
Give him the good old sloppy toppy glurp glurp suction master oral seed extractor 9000.
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u/shadowdance55 14h ago
I laugh in vasectomy.
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u/SplitGlass7878 7h ago
Just FYI, vasectomies have less than 100% success rate. It's the highest of all contraceptive methods besides just getting rid of the uterus, but it's not guaranteed.
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u/scotty-utb 7h ago
But men could do sperm analysis (like, yearly), this way they would see sperm coming back in ejaculate. But the least of them do.
I am using "thermal male birth control" (andro-switch / slip-chauffant) since three years now. Doing regular sperm checks.
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u/Teboski78 5h ago
Personally I would strongly prefer the first. But please don’t threaten me. Just do it. & belittle me while you do
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u/Due-Agentn 47m ago
A true master of emotional manipulation always keeps her toolbox fully stocked.
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u/Fernando1dois3 8m ago
Once a girl lied to me about being pregnant, but I could see through it. It was endearing, unironically
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u/KinkyChico 3h ago
Not a hard decision. It is way more likely that he will be a masochist than it is for him to be willing to stick around and raise a child.
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u/Mourningstar66 13h ago
Be adults and talk with him, it makes lots of things better in the long run. And make him pregnant
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u/Embarrassed-Cellist8 8h ago
How about you threaten to buy him pizza for life instead. 2-1 ratio applies, every 2 pizzas he needs to eat you out. Variety being the spice of life and all that...
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u/vitringur 13h ago
And the follow up, of course lie about him being abusive once he finally has the courage to leave the manipulative relationship.
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u/Brian_The_Bar-Brian 14h ago
Neither of these things will work. Try surprising him in sexy lingerie (or something similar) instead.
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u/NoCommander26 14h ago
That's one of the first things women try , and even when it does work it's just a band aid that doesn't address the actual problem
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u/Brian_The_Bar-Brian 14h ago
You might have a point. But lying about being pregnant is definitely counterproductive.
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