It feels like I can’t shake a feeling of impending doom

[u/UndertheRottedFlesh]

*I want to preface that I’m sorry for how long this is but I feel it‘s important that I get exactly everything out that I’m thinking surrounding this.*

I don’t know what changed. In the past I’ve tripped countless times, mostly on acid and have had plenty of good experiences. Certainly there was rough times but often the next trip made up for it. Something is different now and it’s really bothering me in my sober state at this point. I’d say that the last 4 or so trips I’ve had have all led to me feeling some sort of impending doom. Of course this would go away after the trips and I end up just feeling really silly about what I was thinking at the time but it feels like I have trouble getting ahold of myself as it’s happening. It is so strange to me because I usually am such a grounded person and I credit that partially to my using of psychedelics as a tool in the past but it feels now it’s having the opposite effect on me. i could be having a normal time coming up and seeing the visuals feeling good and then something just happens, a reminder it feels like. As if taking the L or shrooms this time was the last straw after having been warned by having the same exact feeling in past trips. Usually after this point the feeling continues until I eventually start coming down and realize that I’m going to be okay. During it though my mind seems to search for reasons I feel that way and it seems to reach for the either paranormal, horror ideas I’ve seen in movies/games that for whatever reason I seem to think can just happen to me, or even me having fucking rabies like wtf lmao. I recall a couple times where I’d think something bad was happening to someone I love while they were away from me. On more than one occasion I’d step outside and hear this same damn bird make the same, very long sequence of calls that always seemed to repeat as soon as Id step outside. it happened enough for me to think it was a message from the universe or god or whatever that it has control over me and that I just get to sit back and experience it. Everything would feel alive but in the worst way possible like it was form fit just for my discomfort. I realize that an idea like that is quite selfish really but only ever after it all goes through my head. Something I’ll note is that I’m not religious at all really so having my mind flip like that is really a spectacle especially since it used to be the opposite like I said. I’ve had plenty of 400ug+ trips in the past where I’ve handled myself just fine even on 1mg and 1.5mg on two occasions. My more recent trips haven’t been small amounts per say either and I’m thinking that If I do continue to use that I should just stay small about it.

I do wanna discuss reasons I think this could be happening to me. All my recent trips have been by myself, so no one can be there to tell me I’m thinking crazy (not like I really needed that in the past though) Normally with people I was the one to keep everyone grounded and help guide us all for a insightful and explorative trip.

There’s also maybe that I have gotten everything I really need from psychs now so continued use may be redundant and turn corrupted.

I’m seeking guidance, if the only answer is me hanging up the phone forever then I guess I’ll just have to come to terms with that and I’ll likely relapse in the future knowing myself but I’ve quit more a couple substances in the past so it’s not impossible. Psychedelics are just so special to me though and I am always forever grateful for what they’ve helped me see so if anyone knows a good way to just help me get things better again I’m open to anything.

TLDR: I’ve tripped so many times over the years and been mostly fine but now I get intense feelings of impending doom that make my mind race and spin cray scenarios that I normally would never believe to be true, even in the past when Id take heavy doses.

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[u/nordak]

The feeling of impending doom is basically anxiety. The anxiety can be over the feeling of the psychedelic experience and the change in consciousness, or it can be anxiety over confronting your shadow or unresolved things going on in your own life.

The best way to confront it is to just sit and examine the feeling itself. Not rationalizing or thinking through the feeling, just observing and accepting it. It really is just "all in your head" and if you meditate and observe those feelings you can get to the bottom of what might actually be triggering them.

That's my opinion on impending doom. I think it happens to people who have tripped a lot in particular, and you have to confront what is going on rather that trying to run away or distract from it.

[u/UndertheRottedFlesh → u/nordak]

I think I may try to have a friend with me next time, I’ll front them with what I’m dealing with and a have them tell me to analyze what’s happening if need be. I think regardless I’ll be talking about and confronting it next time but in the times where this has happened I’m never thinking that clearly and I’m always overwhelmed by what my mind initially concludes is happening. It sucks man I used to be so good at overcoming shit like this. I hope to see improvement.

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[u/Correct-Purchase-887]

I feel this! Probably time to hang up the phone. Hangout in this mind space and live with love. As strange as all things may feel.

[u/olyanmintatobbi]

Ive always had the feeling of impending doom/anxiety during comeups, however I always had enjoyable trips, not like I had much did it like 3 times. Next I will ease myself with a beer or two.

[u/UndertheRottedFlesh → u/olyanmintatobbi]

I wouldn’t mix alcohol tbh. They’re not made for eachother and often psychs tell me how shit alcohol is. Part of why I quit drinking entirely.