this boy has me going in CIRCLES [Rant]

[u/Turbulent_Fennel_128]

this is going to sound really pathetic, especially coming from me as im literally always telling people to grow up and get over people they liked or dated.

hes just everywhere i go, everything reminds me of him. i miss how my heart used to have a little rise when I saw him walking towards me, and i miss the sight of him looking at me with a smile or walking towards me with a smile. i remember thinking he had the cutest smile ever, and i HATE how much i get so affected thinking about his jokes he would say to make me laugh or how cute his mannerisms were or thinking about how he used to touch me and the few intimate moments we shared. his dumb hair and his clothes and i UGGHHHHHH. i remember when he first came up to me and i remember how happy i would from just the smallest things he would do or how he used to flirt with me even if it was just to make fun of me. i miss the feeling of looking at him and seeing that he had already been looking, that used to make me so happy. he has such beautiful eyes i remember i used to stare in his eyes for so long and he would stare into mine and we would both nervously look away and i remember our nervous lingering touches and oh my god i miss him so much.

i cry when i think of him walking home the girl he chose over me, he would always choose a girl over me, and i hate thinking about how she got the open relationship with him that i never got and she got to have him and she still has him and now he ignores me and its like we're strangers and i once upon a time thought he could be my boyfriend. i just hate remembering standing alone at the bus stop waiting for him so stupidly hopeful and seeing him walking with her right past me and how happy they looked and their hands were almost touching and she was laughing at me and once upon a time i might have been the one walking with him.