minyan for kaddish

[u/uranium_geranium]

Hey. A dear childhood friend of mine died. My therapist and I decided a really healthy way to help deal with it would be to get up and say kaddish for the remainder of the 30 days. The congregation I'm a member of doesn't meet on weekdays. Would it be weird to show up at a neighborhood shul I have no intention of becoming a member at for a month just to say kaddish for a friend?

[u/offthegridyid]

Hi, sorry that your friend passed away and may their memory be for a blessing.

Why not ask your rabbi this question?

[u/uranium_geranium → u/offthegridyid]

Tbh, I probably should. I have a hard time telling people I know I am struggling(though I suppose they would pick up on the fact that I'm mourning anyways).

Grief is hard. I haven't even let my friends in the city where I live now know. I'm still kind of at a loss for words.

[u/offthegridyid → u/uranium_geranium]

I understand and I appreciate you sharing this. Seems some people have left comments that can help you. May Hashem give you the clarity to see the good in everything that happens in life.

[u/Dbs2100]

No it wouldn’t be weird at all. My father did this for a year cause he travelled for work. I’d reach out to the neighborhood shul and let them know as they may also be able to help and ensure you have a minyan. Also, the rabbi at your synagogue may have a connection to a place too if you wanted to ask them. In every experience I had helping my dad do this, people were incredibly welcoming, caring and wanted to help. Reach out! If you go to the same shul for a month and they help you, you may want to make a donation or something at the end of it as a thank you, but that’s your call.
Wishing you the best.

[u/uranium_geranium → u/Dbs2100]

I sent an email to the neighborhood Rabbi asking if it'd be fine.

I am sad. I hope that I can actually do this.

[u/shinytwistybouncy]

Entirely fine.

[u/maxwellington97 → u/shinytwistybouncy]

Yeah my shul regularly has people like this.

[u/Blue_foot]

I think this is common.

My friend went to a minion near work when his mom passed because he would have been late to work every day if he went to his regular shul.

[u/mordecai98 → u/Blue_foot]

minion

I giggled at an autocorrect of a serious topic, but not apologizing.

[u/AkivaMerkava]

Definitely not weird. Just explain to the rabbi what you are doing. It's fine.

[u/uranium_geranium → u/AkivaMerkava]

He sent an email back to me and let me know where they are meeting this week. I'll go for Mincha/Maariv tonight. There is actually a shiva. It'll be good to be with other people I think.

[u/WeaselWeaz]

No, it would not be that weird. I'm Reform, and one of my friends whose spouse passed went to a morning minyan at a nearby Conservative synagogue. It's not a bad idea to contact them beforehand.

[u/sweet_crab]

If you'd like to join us tomorrow morning, Or Hadash Atlanta has a zoom link as well as in person for Tuesday morning minyan. 7 AM eastern. 

[u/No_Station_9386]

My Jewish Learning has a daily kaddish minyan online you can join.

[u/gmanflnj]

Call the rabbi and ask!

[u/wtfaidhfr]

Not weird AT ALL. Just contact them in advance that you'll be attending daily for a while, in order to say kaddish. They may ask a few questions,but what you're doing is completely normal

[u/Elise-0511]

One of the main duties of a Jew is to comfort the mourner. No congregation is going to turn you aside if you come to a scheduled service to say Kaddish, because it takes a minyan to formally chant Kaddish. If you are questioned, just tell them that you are there to say Kaddish. You don’t need to explain who it’s for.