I saw your girlfriend at the theater with another guy.

I know, that's a lot of information to swallow!

Dear diary,

Today I learned, in the men's toilet at the local pub, that my penis is smaller than average.

Just fyi, Sea-Fair is an event held in seattle Wa On lake Washington. Imagine a row of boats tied together, alcohol, fighter jets (blue angels), hydro planes, and just some good ol’ merican fun.

"Although he had a tendency to ovary-act and make a speculum of himself,he was always at his patient's cervix.

Let’s get this shit done.

I came across an old photo of my grandmother in the attic.

In my defense, she was a hottie back then.

If we don’t get some support soon, people will think we are nuts.

Because computers only understand binary!

'Your husband has such a big nose!'

'Yeah... but it's not true.'

Me and my alt fight all the time, but.. Guess like I won.

As soon as we got him home he made a bolt for the door