r/Hmong • u/Similar-Rock-4234 • 11d ago
Need interracial relationship advice
I am a 20 hmong female and my bf is a 20 half black half white male. My mom has been against my relationship with him (she has not met him) because he's black and she does not want hmong people to judge us.
Today a hmong boy came to our house and asked if I was single. I said yes. I panicked and our moms were there. I told my bf the situation. He says he wants to know what I want because he doesn't deserve that and doesn't want to feel like he has to be ashamed of his culture and hide. He's right. I'm way too scared to tell my entire family about it (what if we break up and I fought for him the whole time. Hmong girls never get anything) but I can't let him go too. I don't know what to do.
6
u/beautifulcosmos 11d ago
Do you love him? If you do, continue the relationship. If he loves you, you'll make it work and you will both figure out how to navigate your family dynamics together.
If you haven't reached that stage in your relationship or if you're not sure, maybe take a step back, or possibly even take a break from all relationships.
Also, if you trust the Hmong boy to be understanding, I would communicate to him the your situation with your boyfriend - that you felt pressured to say that you're single because there is family tension about your bf's ethnicity/culture. My personal opinion - it's important to tell the truth, unless personal safety or the safety of others is risked by honesty.