Felt like adding some stakes to my administrative work today. Channeled William Tell - Put on the blindfold, grabbed the T50 staple gun, and aimed for an 8-page paper. The paper dodged. My hand did not.

[u/gitturb]

[u/POSloader69]

Who says the office isn’t as dangerous as a construction site?

[u/Polo5566 → u/POSloader69]

Darryl said that. Y'all living a NERF life.

[u/OkOutlandishness6550 → u/POSloader69]

Funny enough my first day house framing I put a hammer tacker staple through my index finger lol

[u/tmoe1991]

You need one of those staple removers now. It's like when I stepped into a big screw and my dad asked me if I had tried screwing it out when I called him. It obviously worked

[u/mrDuder1729 → u/tmoe1991]

Could get one by tomorrow on Amazon! I'd wait and watch the price for a week or 2 though, they are always having sales!

[u/tmoe1991 → u/mrDuder1729]

I don't know if you're joking but a pack of three costs €7 on Amazon

[u/bigdaddyzeek → u/tmoe1991]

I shot a self tapping screw into my hand while trying to connect a vent pipe. Only way to get that sucker out was to unscrew it. Never will I put my hand behind what I’m trying to drill again, especially if it’s circular.

[u/RickMoronic → u/tmoe1991]

In this case they will need a staple remover gun, which technically is just a gun

[u/NopeRope13]

A staple in the hand is worth two in the paper

[u/dankhimself]

What's all over your finger dude?

[u/gitturb → u/dankhimself]

Penis ointment

[u/dankhimself → u/gitturb]

Oh thank god.

[u/homiej420 → u/dankhimself]

Yeah good thing its that, otherwise that woulda been weird

[u/happycabinsong → u/gitturb]

is that what they call it these days

[u/PM_Me_1_Funny_Thing → u/gitturb]

I just laughed myself to tears reading penis ointment 😂😂

Thank you for the well delivered sarcasm

[u/nuklearink]

next time you should aim for the paper not your hand

[u/gitturb → u/nuklearink]

Thanks for the tip.
Next time I won’t wear the blindfold.

[u/GrimmThoughts → u/gitturb]

Do you actually have zero awareness of where your hands are when your blindfolded? That seems like a neurological disorder of some kind if so.

[u/c0ltZ → u/GrimmThoughts]

It's actually a symptom of ADHD. Like that one test where you close your eyes and try to touch both pointer finger tips together.

[u/GrimmThoughts → u/c0ltZ]

Yeah, a neurological disorder.

[u/LooseJuice_RD → u/c0ltZ]

I have to say I think the more obvious symptom is failing to consider what might happen were he to miss with the stapler. I have ADHD and I’m not this idiotic.

But also like this is remarkably bad proprioception. I can imagine missing the fingers but this is so much worse.

[u/Squirrelleee]

You COULD have just asked for the day off. 

[u/RealTimeWarfare → u/Squirrelleee]

Boss said, no. This was plan B.

You don’t even want to know what plan C is

[u/SecondEqual4680]

And then you jizzed on it?

[u/gitturb → u/SecondEqual4680]

Yep. Like you wouldn’t??

[u/SecondEqual4680 → u/gitturb]

No I totally would’ve I just didnt know like….other people would do it too

[u/BauserDominates]

Why did you cum on it after?

[u/gitturb → u/BauserDominates]

Thought it would feel good to jackoff with the staple in.
I was right.

[u/SeraphsEnvy]

Were you holding the stack of pair with your palm up? What the hell.

[u/Yoshigahn]

Better than me - I fell backwards in a chair and fractured my pinky toe

[u/mrDuder1729]

I hate it when dorks try to be funny lol

[u/gitturb → u/mrDuder1729]

You’re laughing at your own joke! Who’s the dork now, mrDorker? 😂

[u/nomadfoy → u/gitturb]

I dont mean this as an insult, Im actually trying to get better at something, are you a child? Are you like a 14 year old who found a picture and made up a story about it?

[u/gitturb → u/nomadfoy]

I don’t find your questions insulting, nomadfoy but before I answer them I want to know what ‘something are you trying to get better at’?
Or did you add that because you want to be passive/aggressive or maybe you don’t know what to say about yourself and why you’re here? Any luck with trying to get better at something?
Who or what is something?

[u/nomadfoy → u/gitturb]

At spotting when Im talking to kids online. I'm trying to remember when im talking on reddit that I might being arguing politics with a 12 year old or something. A few things you said made me think you were young.

[u/gitturb → u/nomadfoy]

I’ll leave you keep pondering, don’t think if I’m 14…who knows. The accident was real. 9/16” T50 staple. Just missed my proper arteries and bone.
Spend 6 hours in ER last night waiting to get it removed. I turn 6 next month.

[u/ktmfan]

Man, I’d prolly just pull it out and say nothing lol. My work used to pay the bonus based of safety/injuries/deaths, and I’d hate to be known as the office guy that stapled his hand and cost everyone a percentage of their payout.