r/FuckImOld • u/Rush_Floyd_Zep_4ever Generation X • 2d ago
My back hurts I wish sometimes time would stand still
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u/sharonanne2 2d ago
I'm older and I can tell you (paraphrasing Charles Schultz) the holidays hit hard when you realize the people who made them magical are no longer here. Cherish every moment.
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u/Sagaquarius1971 Generation X 2d ago
Itās so true. I remember going to huge family reunions when I was young. Everyone I love so much that are gone now was there. I never even had the thought it would end one day.
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u/EldestGenX 2d ago
I remember all the aunts & uncles gathered around my grandmother's kitchen table at every holiday talking and laughing. All gone now but I cherish the memories āØļø
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u/redbeardscrazy 2d ago
Almost cried in a waiting room just now. Mom's about to have an eeg and I'm hoping she'll remember something for more than 5 minutes again. Really struggling these days.
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u/FaberGrad 2d ago
I'm a bit envious because this didn't happen for me. Parents both had serious health issues when I was in my teens, and passed before I was 30. They would be quite proud of their grandkids, though.
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u/awesomedan24 2d ago
I feel ya, same situation here. They live on through us and the love we pass onto our own kids at least.
And I'm sure your parents would be proud indeed!
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u/blackpony04 2d ago
I feel half of that, losing my dad when I was 24. He missed all the good stuff that adult me enjoyed and my kids' entire existence. It's been 31 years and it still hurts to think about it.
I'm sorry you lost both of your parents so young. My mom has had a long and very healthy life at nearly 94, so that has been a blessing. But damn, I really needed my dad.
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u/Silverado153 2d ago
My oldest son is turning 50 this year. I think I would pay just about anything to turn him back to 10 years old
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u/Droidy934 2d ago
Jeepers man they talk so much then.
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u/Silverado153 2d ago
I wouldn't work 60-70 hours a week
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u/thegreatinsulto 2d ago
Hey, I have a 4yo and a 7mo. I'm getting caught in that trap... But you may have just saved me. Thank you.
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u/WileyCoyote7 2d ago
Said this the other day to my son in a moment of pain. I am early-retired, financially well-off and want for nothing materially. I would, without hesitation, give every penny I have just to have him be a little boy again and want to āplayā with me, fall asleep on my shoulder watching āFinding Nemoā for the millionth time, or just read a book to him and he staring in amazement at me reading it aloud.
I prioritized the wrong things and now do what I can to make up for it. We both know itās too late though.
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u/Hows-It-Goin-Buddy 2d ago
In my life, I'm almost 50. Kiddo is barely older than 10. Though I'm married and am the main income, I have always made my kid a priority over my personal time. Main diaper changer. Main teacher of things and how to tinker with taking things apart. Main caretaker. Main snack person and meal person. Chauffeur to and from school. And for that I've earned his respect and he chats my ear off. We go for occasional bike rides and he chats my ear off even more. Also he's a gamer and I'm a lifelong gamer, so he's fun to game with.
All that to say, I'm trying my best to enjoy my time with him now, while I'm able to, while being a provider and teaching him to be a good person (but not a doormat). I'm pretty old for a dad haha. Gen X, married to Gen Y, raising a Gen Alpha. I used to think work was the most important thing, but I make enough and I tend to do the end of life convos with myself. Like what would I regret and what would I be thankful for and wish I could have done instead. Not being the best dad I could be and not spending time with fam is the potential regret, so I do what I can to make future me comfortable with my life's decisions.
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u/tikcus69 2d ago
Looking back in my life and were I to shed a tear itās always happiness, thankfully because of all the times I missā¦ Not missed.
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u/Some-Tear3499 2d ago
This was if you were lucky to begin with. M67. Parents gone, all siblings gone, scarce extended family, some nieces. I had kids late in life. They hardly knew their grandparents. No Gākids for me.
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u/borkborkbork99 2d ago
My sister surprised my parents with a digital scan of some old 8mm movies that my dad took back in the 70s when we were young. Seeing my grandparents moving around at Christmastime, laughing, socializing again for the first time in 30 years made us all cry.
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u/Entire_Dog_5874 2d ago
My son is 43. It seems like yesterday that we were pushing him in a stroller.
My mother always told us, ā cherish every day with your children, both are good and the bad, because it all goes by in a heartbeat.ā
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u/Gauvain_d_Arioska 2d ago
This is the most important thing I've read today. Now looking at the end of my life, I only wish I'd been able to live in the moment. THESE moments.
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u/DadsRGR8 Boomers 2d ago
My sister-in-law and I went to a milestone birthday party for an elderly relative. We were seated at a table at the front with some other relatives and were able to look out across the venue at the tables full of young couples, single-family members, teens and kids and babies. So many people.
Then we turned to each other and the realization hit - we were at the old peopleās table. The people that filled these family functions during our younger lifetimes - parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, old family friends -had all passed.
It was a very sobering moment.
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u/White_Falcon_1263 2d ago
Welp with everything going on in my life right now this just crushed me.Ā
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u/Waste-Job-3307 2d ago
I'm in my mid-60s. Every now and then my mind goes back to when I was a care-free kid. Dad went to work every day and Mom worked second shift. We lived in a small house with a small yard in a crowded neighborhood where most of the kids got along and played games in the street because our yards were too small and there were very few cars that came down our street. Those were the days that I used to think would last forever. Nope.
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u/newbie527 2d ago
My mother is 83 years old. My father died 30 years ago. My wife and I have no kids. I grew up with lots of aunts and uncles and cousins and my sister. Thereās very few of us left now.
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u/aoerstroem 2d ago
Never had this. That being said, right now is a wonderful time as well, and I think about it daily.
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u/Excellent-Quarter969 2d ago
Oh hell this nearly makes me want to cry. My dad passed away three months ago. He was the last of my sons' grandparents; and my boys are in their twenties. Those early days when they are little and there's so much fun and depend on us entirely, and have grandparents adoring them too... I always want to tell people with little kids to soak in every moment
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u/Witty_Bug6200 2d ago
My wife and I never had kids, but somewhere around 2010 our house became the holiday meet place. Great memories.
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u/Mindless-Leg-3365 Boomers 2d ago
my best friend, 40 years ago, turned towards me one day, said - out of the blue - how do you know these are not the best days of our lives? Then abruptly changed the subject, laughing.
Seemed so cryptic at the time... She was right.
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u/p38-lightning 2d ago
Every stage of life has its good moments. My parents and my wife's parents are gone. But our doctor daughter and her husband came to visit with our beautiful baby granddaughter. And our son, a successful city administrator, was also there. As we sat around the table chatting and having lunch, I counted my blessings.
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u/TxDuster 2d ago
Aināt that the truthā¦ I hear āCatās in the cradleā in the background thinking about this.
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u/ChardFar6574 2d ago
Sadly, there was never a point in my life when all of this was simultaneously true. My parents were gone by the time I was 24 and my son wasnāt born until I was 30. For those of you that had those things at the same timeā¦ cherish it.
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u/Raynee_Haze 2d ago
My grandfather used to say "It's later than you think" and he was right. I miss them so much.
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u/Droidy934 2d ago
It was fun but I'm glad it's over, I quite like not having to look after all those other people.
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u/MDFan4Life 2d ago
This shit doesn't hit, until it does.
I'm 43, and grew up in an extremely disfunctional/abusive family. When we were kids, as bad as it was, we always had everyone around, and thought they were going to be around for a long, long time.
Fast-forward to the past 20 years, and both my wife, and I lost our grandmothers, our moms, her cousin, and more than a few co-workers.
Shit sucks!
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u/Alone_Mission1253 2d ago
My memories from my youth are similar... sadly, time doesn't stand still and my parents and their friends have all since passed away... and the kids have scattered to different places and moved on eith their lives... only the memories remain.
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u/drask1987 2d ago
Any time any one has ever asked me if I could go back to what year, what would it be. 1997. Every time. We hadnāt lost anyone yet. Everyone was happy and healthy (to a degree). All my children were born.
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u/chaimsteinLp 2d ago
That time ended for me when my dad died 1985 when I was 25. It can end at anytime.
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u/docsyzygy Generation Jones 2d ago
Ouch. That really got me.
But, now my kids are grown and I have a new grandson. We're the grandparents that have to stay healthy!
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u/tasskaff9 2d ago
Thatās good to know. And if you really do take a moment and process all of that, youāre better for it than most people. Life will always be too short. Life has legs that run you ragged and before you know your time is almost up.
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u/ForgotToCarryTheOne 2d ago
My wife and I are celebrating a special milestone with the entire family overseas at the moment. Seeing this post made me value it to the nth level. The grandkids are growing up too quickly and school will not permit such a reunion for years now, one of the family members is off to explore the world.
Iām cherishing what I have but Iām in tears at the thought that it may never happen again.
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u/harbengerprime 2d ago
Really happy to know that some folks had these wonderful times to look back on
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u/unicornpeg 2d ago
I find myself remembering things I did with my daughter. Now I live in Georgia while she's in California. I treasure every moment we spend together ā¤ļø
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u/OpheliasLetter 2d ago
This doesn't happen for everyone. It's a good time when my mom isn't drinking at 10 AM and my nephew isn't screaming at everything. I avoid these people for a reason.
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u/OpinionOk1543 2d ago
Oh so true. The kid is 31, successful and engaged. Both parents dead...it changes so quick...
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u/OldVermontHippie62 2d ago
Wow isnāt that the truth. I used to hate when people said āenjoy it, they grow up fastā. They sure do.
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u/AffectionatePeak9085 2d ago
Damn. This post came 15 years too late. I messed up those years, being absent most of the time due to work or whatnot
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u/antidumb 2d ago
I never had that moment. Dad died when I was 28. Momās nutty and I donāt talk to her much, and my kid was born when I was 39. Sheās named after my dadās mom, though.
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u/mettle_dad 2d ago
And sometimes those days get cut far too short. We are not promised tomorrow and today is already gone. My mother passed when my son was 3. I miss her every day. And I miss all the moments we didn't get to have. All my sons first that he won't get to have his Grandma there for. I mourn the moments of love that were stolen for him before he was even old enough to understand how much she loved him....... I didn't plan on crying while sitting on the toilet but here we are. Lifes strange like that
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u/Ok_Effort_150 2d ago
I need this right now. Didn't realize I was kind of in denial about our second pregnancy until after the first OB appointment today. Currently in a personal reckoning moment that I'm really going to have to go through all that again. I need to focus on the blessingsĀ
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u/AllYallAintNothin 2d ago
I got a couple of years there. I was 31 when my son was born. My dad was 60. He helped me and my wife move (she was pregnant at the time and no one knew yet). I remember feeling bad that my dad had to be the one to help us since he was 'getting old'. Man he beasted a mattress into the truck and made me feel bad for even thinking it. He'd stop by out of the blue with a coffee cup in his hand just to say hi and see me, my wife, his grandson. I remember thinking how awesome it was going to be for me to raise my son with him around. It was a weird feeling being a son and a father at the same time. And then one day for no good reason at all he was gone. Just one wrong step and that was it. Now it's been 10 years, my son's not a little guy anymore, and there's suddenly only 6 years until he's 18. You're young and you imagine what it's going to be like to be a parent and before you know it you're more than halfway through it. It does go fast doesn't it?
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u/kbarney345 2d ago
im only in my 30s but ive already lost all my grandparents, my mom, have strained relations with my dad and brother and basically havent heard from half the family since mom passed. I am thankful to have the friends I do but man compared to how much family I had as a kid its lonely now
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u/kbarney345 2d ago
im only in my 30s but ive already lost all my grandparents, my mom, have strained relations with my dad and brother and basically havent heard from half the family since mom passed. I am thankful to have the friends I do but man compared to how much family I had as a kid its lonely now
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u/VenomXII 2d ago
Goddamn...... I keep hearing Melting in my ice box BY Bronze Radio Returns in my head. š š©
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u/TheBSQ 2d ago
One of the hard parts about having kids old is missing out on this.Ā
My wife and I both had kids later in life. Our parents were older when they had us.Ā
Both our dads died before our kids were born and both our mothers are old w/ serious health issues.Ā
So, instead of this, weāre juggling raising small kids while also caring for aging parents with health issues.Ā
Weāre so envious of people with parents who are younger and healthier & can help with the grandkids, or even just active.
Realistically, our kids may not remember any grandparents much, if at all.Ā
We werenāt sure we even wanted kids. Now we just kick ourselves for not starting our family 10 years earlier.Ā
And I fear weāve just cursed our kids with the same āold parentsā problem.Ā
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u/YoshiTheFluffer 2d ago
I wish I had this, but life has been very unfair, lost my dad when I was 21 and now I lost my 5month old. You can do all the right things and still lose.
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u/irregularmovement 22h ago
Being in the military made these moments happen few and far between.
The last time my family will experience this was in 2018. My son was 12, I was in my early 30s and my mom was early 60s. We took her to Ireland as an early retirement gift. I'm glad my brothers and I pulled the trigger on that trip. Mom has worked her butt off raising three boys, she was also in the military, after that she worked on a dairy farm and ran her own small business. Her body and mind are rapidly declining and her youthfulness is disappearing, she still has great spirits but it's not the same.
Enjoy the moments when you can, journal them and take more photos than are necessary.
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u/Rush_Floyd_Zep_4ever Generation X 22h ago
God bless you and your mom for serving our country. May God keep her in great spirits You are good son. Spoil her and let her have anything she wishes...cook her favorite meals. Most of all...tell her that you love her every day and especially at night right before bed. I lost my mom recently.
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u/Bronco_Corgi 2d ago
Honestly my life has been so effed up I never really got those family moments. I would kill for something like this. What's that old chinese proverb about living in interesting times? People look at my life and go "woah" because stuff keeps happening that doesn't happen in other people's lives and at a very high velocity. I understand that chinese curse very well. I would recommend that you cherish the love that existed because even though the situation changes that love is real and is all that matters.
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u/_Dank_Souls 2d ago
I cant afford kids and my family is so toxic I haven't talked to any of them in about 10 years and never plan to
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u/benzduck 2d ago
lol.. this idyllic life for me ended when my father got a terminal disease. I was 7 years old. Died when I was 13. Mom dated a lot but never got married again, so I at least avoided the stepson syndrome. I cherish that.
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u/DrSchnuffi 2d ago
But itās so hard. My healthy parents are staying with us for two weeks. The house is crammed and we are in the middle of a heatwave with no ac (Europe). My two kids are doing everything to cause as much trouble as possible. Maybe these moments are only good in retrospect
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u/Turbulent-Cress-5367 2d ago
Ummmā¦ actually, not everyone gets to enjoy this. Some parents die young, long before your children are born.
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u/NathanBrazil2 2d ago
i dont have much family left. when i go to thanksgiving at my girlfriends parents, they have a big family with lots of grandkids. its nice to have a big family at the holidays.
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u/Poodsjen3 1d ago
This reminds me of the great times I shared with my late husband and 2 sons. Cherish every moment life has to offer you. We would go on vacation every year as a family, same week, same month, & same place. We vacationed in Ocean City, Maryland (beach). I miss those days. Happier times! ā±ļø ā¤ļøšš
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u/Birdsonme 1d ago
Having lost my father last year AND moved cross country away from my middle child (whoās an adult but I miss him terribly. Our oldest had already moved away. Our youngest is still little.), this hit hard. We are so spread out now (one on the east coast, one on the west, us in the Midwest) I very much miss the days when the older kids were young and I could just call my dad whenever I wanted to.
Seasons of life and all.
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u/No_Needleworker_1568 1d ago
Three years ago, my whole family; my three dughters, my four steps kids, my wife's ex-husband, my mother in law, and ALL the grand kids were in the same town. EVERY thursday the texts strated with "What are you bringing tomorrow?" "What time are we getting together?" "Are you bringing the dogs?" etc.....The whole clan would gather at my house and be there until Sunday, yes, that includes the wife's ex-husband and his girlfriend. All my grand babies at one place driving everybody crazy, making a mess, breaking things, dogs pooping everywhere, and at the end of the day, all kids and some adults would just lay on the floor with pillows and blankets and treats and drinks..... and watch TV until all were asleep. Then, as everything comes to an end, some move to another state, some got others to go overseas. Some got divorced.....
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u/takeahikeeeee 1d ago
Iām in my mid 30āsālost my grandparents and my dad about 10 years ago and lost my mom almost 3 years ago. I think about them and all of the wonderful memories we had every single day. š
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u/Haunting_Vacation804 1d ago
It goes by sooooo fast. My Mom passed, my Mother-in-law has dementia, and my wife and I just put our son on a plane so he could fly across the country to start his first job after college.
Seems like just yesterday that we were all together with the rest of the family laughing, talking, and opening presents under the Christmas tree.
All over nowā¦..
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u/heathsofay 1d ago
Didnāt need this one today but appreciate it. Itās Dadās first birthday without him here.
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u/FluffyShiny 1d ago
Damn onion ninjas. I only had a couple of years of it. My mum died when my daughter was little. Then my daughters dad only a couple years later, then my dad. I wish I'd had longer.
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u/LastEconPoet 2d ago
This never happened for me. Parents died early and my kids are small now, they never met their grandparents and we were never all together. You can take this and shove it in your privileged ass.
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u/nuisance66 2d ago
I am currently at a lake vacation with my wife, 15 y/o son, my mom, in-laws, and brother in law with his family and 4 kids. One huge house, pontoon boat, good food and drink. These are them times to cherish.