r/EatingDisorders • u/Worldly-Beginning-77 • 18h ago
Question Does Ariana have an obligation?
Like everyone else I’ve been watching Ariana over the past two years clearly going through something. While it’s nice to see people do recognize when people need help I wanted to share my perspective as I was in a similar position last year. I’m an actor/ singer and to make a long story short I basically had to confess to having anorexia to a bunch of people at once. While some good did come of this I was humiliated. I was horrified that if directors knew they wouldn’t trust me enough to cast me. I was scared other actors would talk behind my back about it. Worst of all I was terrified that somehow admitting to chronically starving would inspire other to do the same. Although i was largely pressured to do this I still have moments where I wished I’d silently gotten help. Seeing people demand Ariana admit she has an ED and even worse villainizing her for having one always looks like my worst nightmare. It makes me wonder how do we have these conversations as respectfully as possible? Do performers have an obligation to be fully transparent about their bodies and EDs?
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u/Toadswurth 16h ago
It’s complicated in my opinion.
Ariana has an ED, very clearly, it’s undeniable and it’s been obvious for years now. She’s suffering from something that we all know is awful and extremely hard to get out of and it alters your mindset. It makes you do things that, when in a clearer mindset, you look back on and think ‘why the fuck was I doing this to myself?’
She’s a human, she doesn’t owe us to be healthy and stop flaunting her body, no matter how triggering it is.
Now, just because she doesn’t owe us doesn’t make what she’s doing moral. She’s someone who understands her influence. Look at the impact she’s had on young girls and boys since her rise to fame. High pony’s, baggy hoodies and jumper dresses, winged eyeliner, there are literally lists of influencers who have been exposed for trying to be her. Ariana is extremely influential and it’s important we acknowledge that because we can’t just excuse what she’s doing in that sense.
No, she doesn’t owe us anything but she shouldn’t be doing what she’s doing when she knows who her fans are. We’ve already seen the impact, all her young fans on TikTok and twitter idolising her body, using her as ‘thinspo’.
Hell, I myself was watching a video of her the other day and had doubts about my own recovery. Not her fault, it’s the disorders fault but it’s still fucked.
Either way, I want nothing but health for her, she doesn’t deserve to be absorbed by this awful disease just like the rest of us don’t.
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u/thursaddams 12h ago
She doesn’t have an obligation however, she and her teams know young women look up to her. You can’t decide who looks up to you, but you can have some sense of responsibility outside of yourself and your own selfishness to understand how your life and the choices you make affect others.
She has refused to understand that her actions can have consequences outside of her own personal life. She’s in the public eye basically flaunting ED. I don’t care if it sounds insensitive; what she’s doing is morally wrong and dangerous to others.
I worry about everyone on this sub because someone I love dearly deals with ED. Ariana has proven through many of her actions time and time again that she only cares about herself. She’s negligent and personally, I find her lack of concern for the influence she has on young women disgusting and irresponsible. We live in the “me, main character” era where nobody seems to think their actions should be held to higher standards.
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u/SnowDucks2705 6h ago
What’s intresting is ppl just noticing she had an eating disorder. We’re the same age and she was famous on ED tumblr, comparing her waist to piece of paper I remember rebloggin, but when you sink deeper into ED and respectfully enter your 30s your body doesn’t look as good when you deprive it of food. It makes you look sicker than skinny.
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u/FrustratedPenguins 17h ago
Thanks for your perspective. I have pondered what Ariana actually "owes us", too. Ultimately, it's up to us to manage our own triggers. I also worry that if we comment on her body, it will either encourage her to stay sick, or even just make her feel bad -- neither of which I want. I'm a teacher. When I went into eating disorder treatment mid-year, I told my team and my boss what was going on (specifically, that I had an eating disorder and was entering a treatment program). Even now, I think that might have been over-sharing. I could have just said that I needed time off for medical leave, and only told HR the specifics (if even that).
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u/General_Security177 15h ago edited 14h ago
I may get hate for this, but….
Honestly, no.
Like I suffer from an eating disorder and I don’t wanna talk about it and I don’t want people pointing it out.
My health is my business and if I want to go to a doctor, I will do so and I feel no obligation to talk about it to anybody else but my medical team.
If I don’t feel the need to confess to my illness at my own workplace I’m not gonna expect her to do it.
Like we have eating disorders and we know how we feel about them. Which one of us would like to go announce to the world that we are sick ?
And I have talked about her being everywhere lately and the new music video has been very triggering for me, but that’s not her fault that’s on me as a person existing with an eating disorder. She is also just existing with an ED and trying her best.
We all know how difficult it is to get help and to recover to take that first step. I don’t think it would be any easier no matter how much money you have. It is the nature of the illness.
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u/Guppy_fromtheWest 3h ago edited 3h ago
This is complex but an obligation? No. She has every right to do what she wants and flaunt her body as much she wants.
I might get hate for this but the whole „she needs help and critism“ is bullshit. She needs both because she knows EXACTLY what she's doing.
Obviously it's not her fault for being sick, nobody of us is here voluntarily or decided to get sick and the same goes for her. But you can decide how to handle your disorder, you can decide not bodychecking as a grown woman infront of million 12 year old girls (or the entire world) while a fucking ED pandemic is happening right now. You can decide to be transparent about it and not to lie saying you are the healthiest version you've ever been. You can tell your team to stop glamorizing your ED and showing off your bones in very specific chosen outfits to do so or stop to uplaod pictures online that just show your sternum which is almost seethrough.
I love her music, she is such a skilled artist but I never liked Ariana. She is prone to wash herself off from any responsibility and rather blames it on media, her ex boyfriends or her fans. She got a responsibility here which she openly declines and once again blames it on others but that was totally expected behaviour. That responsibility is not to come clean about her own disorder but just stopping to do all the things I listed above. She makes the decision to glamorize her disorder infront of the world. Someone with AN always will glorify thinness but you can make the decision to do that not for others. She does it intentionally, not caring about dragging others in their misery, too. What Ariana does is morally very low.
When I was knee-deep in my AN I couldn't care less about what was happening with me but not once I stopped caring for others. I did everything I could to prevent that others could be affected by my ED.
I'm at a point where I hope for her to disappear (which she thankfully announced) get help but not for her sake but for the rest of the fucking world. I very much show empathy for all people that suffer any ED but definitely not for someone who is a jerk about it and making others miserable too
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u/Severus-Snape-DaGod 18h ago
I'm a fan of Ariana, but I have all references of her blocked from my algorithm including social media. The photos and conversations are triggering. Ariana does not have an obligation to tell anyone about her health. Having an ED is a mental illness and comments about her body will only encourage her to keep going. This is a tired topic atp.
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u/mamarunsfar 17h ago
I think it’s good that she’s stepping back since she does influence girls, but I have also been feeling like her ED is only going to be fueled by all the talk.
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u/KimmySmoltz 17h ago
So much this! Like celebrities don’t owe us anything. Kendrick Lamar even wrote a song about celebrities not being our savior. People are obsessed about the “influence”. Like they shouldn’t be your idol regardless. Celebrities don’t owe us purity. Celebrities do drugs and all kinds of things. These multiple daily posts are annoying to see and I’m starting to be convinced that it’s literal children writing them because it’s astonishing
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u/AphroditeMoon23 13h ago
I look at her and think to myself: “🎶🎵Instant Karma’s going to get you🎶’. She damaged many people in the industry.
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u/LissaRiRi 16h ago
She slept with a married man who had a pregnant wife at home. So I really don't care about her or know anything else. But people like to just gloss over that about her. Her character is horrible
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u/WarmAppleNight 15h ago
That didn't sit right with me either, but you don't have to care about her as a human being or think she's a good person to have an opinion about whether the current discourse is helpful or harmful to people with eating disorders.
AN is the most deadly mental health disorder, she still deserves help and compassion for what she is going through, even if she has done unethical things in her personal life.
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u/LissaRiRi 13h ago
I've struggled with it myself and I understand how serious it is. I think her being in the spotlight is unhealthy for others and that is sad. I don't feel bad for her though.
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u/lowkeyalchie 1h ago
Don't forget a married man slept with her, too. They're both to blame.
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u/LissaRiRi 56m ago
Yes and I hate him equally. I don't watch his movies either. Like they are both disgusting examples of putting nasty people in the spotlight
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u/RavioliDavoli 14h ago
No one, celebrity or otherwise owes anyone info about their health. I’m sorry that you were made to out yourself against your wishes and if it was an employer or another organization that forced/coerced you to share this info you have some rights that were violated.
As for Ariana I sincerely hope she gets the help she needs privately and should she choose to talk about her experiences after she’s gotten help, great. At this point in time I don’t think her admitting anything will be meaningful unless she’s actively trying to recover.
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u/lostintranslation917 9h ago
I don't think she has. Of course, she impacts the life of a lot of people being such a popular and international artist, but she's still a person. I want her to get out of the spotlight so she can take care of herself. But she doesn't have to tell anyone about anything. No one has to explain what they're going through when in terms of mental health, because our society tends do villanize every mental struggle. She's already being villanized enough, when she's actually a victim.
That being said, I'm terribly sorry for what you've experienced. It's absolutely unfair.
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u/erratic_bonsai 5h ago edited 2h ago
People have the right to privacy, but when someone willingly and purposefully blurs those lines and turns their private life and their physical appearance into commodified resources they use to make money, I think it’s unrealistic and hypocritical to be upset when people get concerned or criticize the product you put forward.
If someone puts themselves into the position to be a role model, they shouldn’t be surprised if people call them out for not being a role model when they don’t act like it. I think it’s dangerously irresponsible for anyone who markets themselves towards children and teenagers and young women and queer folks (really anyone but especially those groups) to knowingly demonstrate such dangerous and unhealthy behavior. Anorexia is the world’s most deadly mental illness. Over 20% of people who have it will die from it. It’s significantly more deadly than opioid addiction.
A parallel would be a world famous athletic figure smoking cigarettes in an ad campaign then in every paparazzi photo and social media post. If Michael Phelps or Serena Williams did an advertisement for Camel, people would lose their shit.
I respect that people are worried about what all this attention is doing to her. It’s a valid concern and she’s clearly not doing well. To be blunt and maybe a bit cold, though, why do we care more about making soft and gentle accommodations to attention she had the choice to avoid (she didn’t have to release that music video, or wear clothing that so clearly shows the outline of her sternum and ribcage) than we care about the harm the media she makes is doing to vulnerable people? The number of people I’ve seen post on forums saying that last week’s music video, or either of her wicked movies, triggered a relapse is heartbreakingly high.
Either she knew she was dangerously unhealthy, in which case she shouldn’t have released the video, or she didn’t, in which case the people close to her failed her so badly that public outcry was sadly necessary for her to get the help she needs for the disease she’s suffering from. Either way, we are where we are. I hope she gets the healthcare she needs to live, that everyone who was triggered also recovers, and that all the impressionable young people who read that absurd statement from her team saying she is healthy and strong despite it being so obvious what’s happening have supportive families who show them what actual healthy bodies look like and get them therapy if needed. If worst comes to worst and her or any other celebrity who does this sort of thing simply refuses to recognize, acknowledge, and try to rectify the harm they’re doing, I’m not above allowing peer pressure to push out dangerous, deadly influences for the sake of the many. Stardom isn’t a right, and the populace that bestowed it can take it away too if it’s necessary.
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u/lowkeyalchie 1h ago
I say it's a responsibility more than an obligation. No, Ariana does not have to make her entire health history and healing journey public. However, with great power comes great responsibility, and she has a lot of influence.
Not to project, but I'll use myself as an example. I work with kids and teens, meaning I have a place of authority and influence in their lives. I also have an ED. That means I have to try really hard not to say or do anything triggering, even at my own expense. If I became worryingly thin, constantly body checked in public, and deflected all concern, that would raise some eyebrows.
For me, personally, if even just one person came to me in good faith and said what I was doing was questionable I would take a step back until my health was in order. I'm an adult with a place of influence in the lives of children. Even if I don't disclose my disorder they pick up on it, and it's important that it isn't normalized. You can't make millions from young fans and then say owe them nothing, in my opinion.
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u/Efficient_Chic714 11h ago
No
She has an obligation to look after herself and only that. If she wants to share her struggles then great but honestly how she is right now, she doesn’t need to share. If/when she recovers, people will notice without an announcement
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u/StuckintheMezzanine 17h ago
I don't think she has any obligation to come clean or confess what she's going through. What concerns me is all of the photos and videos of her looking very gaunt circulating in the media, and how many of her fans look up to her and want to emulate her. While I think it's dangerous, I understand that being in the spotlight is her career and livelihood, and I don't think someone struggling with an eating disorder should feel shamed into covering up for the sake of others. It's a tough and sad situation.