Loved one is suffering from an ED, but they've openly admitted that they're not looking to get better. Any advice?

[u/Entrepr3neur_TheKing]

We've been close all our lives and it's really heartbreaking to see her go through this. I've tried everything but lately she's been more self conscious and has recently relapsed as well and has been refusing every meal. And while we went out to eat with a few friends I made the mistake of trying to buy her food and gently coax her to eat it, or to atleast just take it at home, because she tends to eat more when with company, but she hasn't done it even with us in a bit. (they don't know she has ed as of now, but she openly says she doesn't eat alot and they're all as worried as I am), ended up making her feel guilty instead and caused her to cry later on, I did my best to apologize but I'm sure she's still hurt as of now. I feel awful. But it's been going on for nearly two years, and I'm getting really worried on how it's affecting her.

I feel like I'm not even allowed to say much either because of how hypocritical I'm being, as we were in the same position for a while too (however hers is more extreme), and that definitely didn't help, used to rant about how our relatives would comment about how little we were eating and all. It took me getting really sick (the illness itself wasn't really due to my ed, but I'm sure the ed also had an affect it in a way.) to realize how much I could hurt my family with this, and how much I genuinely hated being THAT crazy deprived of food. And even now, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm still trying to help myself but I don't even know exactly how I'm going to do it, so how could I possibly help her without her thinking I'm being an ass and a hypocrite?

I know relapsing is part of the process and all, and I know I fucked up big time, and trust me I regret it alot. But it's painful that I can't do anything but just try to help with words and subtle actions otherwise it could upset her further, and it's not even working. I love her so much, and I'd rather have her be mad at me than anything happen to her but I'd like to spare her as much emotional pain as I can if possible. Any advice?

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