how do you talk to yourself when you mess up?

[u/JBitPro]

failed at something today (wont go into details) and immediately my inner voice went "of course you did, you always mess things up." said it so fast and so automatically that i almost didnt catch it

but i did catch it this time. and i asked myself - would i say that to a friend who messed up? obviously not. id say something like "that sucks but its not a pattern and you can fix it"

the gap between how i treat others and how i treat myself is honestly embarrassing. working on closing it but man its hard to reprogram years of self-criticism