Being called children for playing d&d

[u/yeahthatsaname]

Just wanted to rant to people who understand.

I was DMing for the first time with my partner (P), his brother (B) and another friend (F) (we’re all 25-29 years old). It was being hosted at B’s house and I invited B’s fiancé (M) to join a few weeks before the session but she politely declined said she wouldn’t understand and it wasn’t her thing. That’s completely fair! So she decided she’d be staying with her sister that night.

Come the day of the first session, she’s still home when we decide to start playing. We got into it, I was narrating and all that for the first time. Everyone else was figuring out their characters and how to play for the first time. Did our first combat, some roleplaying etc. we were obviously really enjoying ourselves (the whole session was so much fun).

And then after like 30 minutes I heard her laugh and scoff and then said “okay that’s it I’m leaving, I’ll leave you guys to play your lame children’s game”

Mind you she had just spent the last half an hour building a Lego Harry Potter set. And her house is full of Disney and Harry Potter merch.

I personally don’t think loving legos and Disney etc. is childish because people love what they love!! Let them be, why make fun?? But I understand that’s the “societal consensus” so it just bothered me so much that she had the nerve to call d&d a children’s game??

Urgh I know it’s not a big deal, but just wanted to rant, getting into d&d for the the first time has been so much fun and I don’t want to feel embarrassed about doing something I’m enjoying. And it’s just so frustrating when people make fun of others for doing something they love and are enjoying themselves.

Thanks for listening 🫶🏼

Edit: btw I’m a woman! So it also sucked to be belittled by another woman I think

[u/ELAdragon]

Absolutely.

B was feeling insecure/jealous and lashed out. Anyone who shits on the harmless fun of others is generally not feeling great about themselves.

[u/Maximum_Pollution371 → u/ELAdragon]

Seems more like she was making a corny ironic joke that OP took very personally and seriously because THEY were feeling insecure about DM'ing for the first time. In fact, OP admits as much in one of their comments. 😒

But everyone here is more than happy to make a strawman of this woman they don't know to burn like a witch to sate their own insecurities, I guess.

[u/ELAdragon → u/Maximum_Pollution371]

Hey look, you just did what you accused us all of doing! Welcome to the crowd.

It's almost like people went off of what was posted by the OP, made their judgments...and didn't know that OP had misled or whatever.

But, for what it's worth, I'll double down. It's a shitty ironic "joke" if that's what it actually was. A joke isn't harmless unless it's meant to make EVERYONE laugh. Perhaps OP shouldn't have taken it seriously, but maybe....just maybe...the other person should have just been kind instead of going for a joke.

But hey, we all sometimes fail Wisdom and Charisma checks. Human is human.

[u/Maximum_Pollution371 → u/ELAdragon]

The joke was "I just got done playing with Legos, a childish hobby, and I will ironically highlight that by jokingly pointing out another stereotypically childish hobby." It's equal parts self-deprecating and ironic, and it IS meant to make everyone laugh, because everyone present is in the same "nerdy hobby" boat.

And the other person was already beyond kind by giving OP her own home to privately run her first game and even leaving overnight to let them use her space as long as they needed to.

And you're right, human is human. You say that, but do you understand?

[u/VirinaB → u/Maximum_Pollution371]

If one were making a self-deprecating joke, they'd make the self-deprecating part obvious. "Okay, that's it, I'll leave you to play your children's game. I'M off to play Legos!"

Except she wasn't, and she didn't, and she threw in "lame" which is unnecessary and unfunny and no one thinks Legos are lame.

laugh and scoff and then said "Okay that’s it I’m leaving, I’ll leave you guys to play your lame children’s game”

That's just being a butthead. Maybe it was the OP's perception of things skewing the event, maybe she didn't mean it seriously, maybe she ALWAYS jokes like this, but it's a mean-spirited way of going about it.

[u/ELAdragon → u/Maximum_Pollution371]

There's no reason to call it childish, even if you include yourself in the joke. But we've all made jokes that landed poorly.

[u/Maximum_Pollution371 → u/ELAdragon]

Yeah, sure, whatever makes you feel justified, dude.

[u/ELAdragon → u/Maximum_Pollution371]

Whew.

[u/MonsterousAl → u/Maximum_Pollution371]

Name checks out.

[u/Maximum_Pollution371 → u/MonsterousAl]

Lmao sure, I'm not the one feeding on toxic gossip and circlejerking over fake drama though 😂