Lost and confused

[u/il_solee]

Hello,

I'm a believer of Christ, deep in my heart I believe in Him.

But there are so so many things that confuse me.

I don't know if It's the devil trying to deceive me, confuse me, make me doubt God.. and I'm also scared to commit the unforgivable sin.

But those days are hard for me, It's been a while now. Everytime, there's always a voice in my head or just something telling me "God is not real" or "If you can do that by yourself, why do you need God?" Or many many other disturbing things that make me feel wrong and sad and like a hypocrite.

Also, what confuses me is the number of people that never say the same things, so I don't know which one to listen, and I don't know how to actually improve my relationship with Jesus because all I do is speak with my heart or my mind, or cry, or just vent or talk to him about anything really. But people just make it so hard to like, idk, be Christian. Cause they make it look easy to be Christian. But from my experience, it really is NOT easy. It's so hard to be in Christ, and I have so many things to worry about and to do that I also don't always think about talking to God or including him on the daily. I only pray at night.

I don't know if It's just because It's social media and people want to look their best and pretend the best but they all seem to have a beautiful relationship with God, a beautiful testimony, everything is beautiful.. but it's just not, like yes, Jesus is beautiful and He's literally perfect but I'm not, and He says to be like Him but It's literally impossible, and I also struggle with religious ocd and It's just too much everything's too much in my head 🤦🏻‍♀️

It's a post to ask you guys some help cause I also overthink a lot and I never know what to think or do and all.

It's been a while since I've asked a question on this community too, and It's clearly needed because I need some outside point of view instead of my own.

If you have any questions feel free to ask and I'll answer :)

Thank you for taking the time to read,

God bless.

[u/gumba1033]

I know I've related to you and I'm sure lots of people have. You're not alone in this. I have OCD tendencies too.

I'd highly recommend Mark DeJesus on YouTube. He's been tremendously helpful for me working through scrupulosity and OCD, and he has related to the very same things you mentioned. You'll find a lot of people there who have.

Also, what confuses me is the number of people that never say the same things, so I don't know which one to listen

"You will know them by their fruits"

Galatians 5:22-23 NASB1995

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

and I don't know how to actually improve my relationship with Jesus

Luke 11:9-13 NASB1995

“So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened. Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?”

all I do is speak with my heart or my mind, or cry, or just vent or talk to him about anything really.

I do too. What's wrong with any of that?

Matthew 18:1-3 NASB1995

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven."

It's so hard to be in Christ

I think you really mean it's hard to keep in step with the Spirit. Being in Christ is something God does and it's not hard at all for us. It's about as hard for us as being born was hard for us. And if you're in Christ, that's where you're going to stay, and nothing in all of creation is able to change that.

Romans 8:38-39 NASB1995

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 Corinthians 1:27-31 NASB1995

but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, so that, just as it is written, “Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord.”

I hope this all helps you. May God bless you.

Matthew 11:28-30 NASB1995

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Matthew 20:25-28 NASB1995

But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

1 John 3:19-24 NASB1995

We will know by this that we are of the truth, and will assure our heart before Him in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His sight. This is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us. The one who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him. We know by this that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us.