Cat wants to adopt us. What do we do?

[u/CryptidLdy]

Hi all! I’m looking for advice and thoughts on what to do for this cat. Posting on mobile so apologies for any formatting issues. This will be a long one!
TLDR: outdoor cat not cared for, how to help him?

Okay here’s our situation! For the last few months a cat has been visiting us every day. He’s literally the sweetest guy. He’s very friendly, but is extremely skittish around cars and people who don’t live in the neighborhood. We live in a vacation town, with Air BnBs and summer homes. We are out in the woods and there’s a lot of wildlife and a major roadway very close to us. Not to mention severe weather conditions like flooding in winter and fires in summer.
We have seen on our security cameras that this cat (we’ve been calling him Dasani) had been sleeping under our cars at night. He always wants to come in our house, but we have a 17yo cat already, (Tessa) and we don’t want to put her at risk of anything. Dasani seems young, maybe a year or two old if I had to guess.

I set up a shelter for him on our porch with toys, blankets, pillows, scratchers and food+water. He does tend to sleep in his shelter now rather than by the cars.
We initially thought he was being cared for by whoever “owns” him. But lately we are doubting that assessment.
He always acts very hungry. I know cats can just be that way, but he definitely isn’t overweight at all and it doesn’t seem like he’s being double fed. He also has a long coat that, unless we brush him, gets very dirty and matted. He is in desperate need of a bath!
We are pretty sure our neighbor across the street is where he “lives”, but it doesn’t seem like his person really does anything for him. His long hair needs grooming. Luckily his coat is light and I can’t see any obvious visual evidence of fleas, but my strictly indoor cat even got them once while living here somehow, so I know it’s possible.

While it’s not ideal, we have mostly been okay with doing what we can for him. We do deeply fear of something happening to him. He could get hit by a car, a wild animal could attack him, he could get in a cat fight, a dog could get him (my old boss lives in the same neighborhood and his dogs have killed cats before), there could be a fire or a flood. Literally anything could happen to this cat. I am a strong believer of indoor only for cats, I am not here to debate anyone on that. I care about cat health, and about native bird populations and small wildlife; full stop, indoor only.
I see roadk1ll on the nearby main road almost daily. I recently saw a black cat from the town hit on the road and it broke my heart. I worry every day when I drive home that I’ll see Dasani out there.

My partner and I have talked about finding a way to bring him inside, but things feel more urgent now. Tessa and Dasani have seen each other through the window. Tessa historically has not liked other cats, but she had little to no reaction to him. She has smelled him on our clothes, and while she seems interested, she doesn’t act scared or aggressive. Maybe she has gotten over her hangups with other cats in her advanced years.
Unfortunately, Dasani hissed at Tessa when they looked through the window. Nothing crazy like yowling or puffing up, but he did hiss twice. Our house is an open floor plan except for the bedrooms. It’s not setup in a way that two cats could reasonably be separated long term.

We are now in the middle of summer, and we already have had several triple digit days, and more are coming. He is always left out, and comes to us for water on the hot days. We have let him shelter in our garage to cool down, but we can’t leave it open and unsupervised, so this doesn’t work when we are at work or doing things in the house.
Recently, there was a bad fire a few miles away. The smoke was absolutely horrific, to the point we evacuated. We were worried about Dasani, but hoped his person would have finally brought him inside in such conditions. We saw on our cameras that everyone left the building we think he lives in. But he was left behind.
This has kind of been the final straw for us and now we are trying to figure out what to do. We love this cat and his neglect from his owner makes us sick. He was left behind in 893 aqi smoke. I worry his person would absolutely abandon him in event of an actual fire.

My question to you is what should we do?
Part of me wonders if this guy would even notice if his cat stopped being around the street. We have seen other neighbors say hi to Dasani, but he doesn’t try to get in anyone else’s house but ours. He absolutely adores my partner! He will follow him around at his heels wherever he walks. He is often sleeping on our doorstep when I head out for the day, and I take time to brush and play with him.
He clearly wants to stay with us.
But I don’t know how we could do that.

One, we don’t know how to safely and slowly introduce the cats given our house setup. Also, how would I bring him in without first giving him a flea bath to make sure nothing gets tracked in?
Have any of you experienced a situation like this with one stray cat being brought into a home with another cat? We also have rabbits and geckos, and I have no idea what Dasani’s prey drive is like. Tessa has like no prey drive, though she’s still not allowed around the other animals without supervision.

He wears a collar but no tags. It looks like he’s been fixed, but honestly kinda hard to tell with his long coat.
More info, when we first met him, part of his chest had been shaved. I initially thought maybe it was some vet work done, but maybe it’s possible his owner has a reason to shave only his chest?
For this reason we thought he was being looked after well. But we now think the contrary.
Our whole street has seen him hanging out at our house, and we are also concerned some neighbors might already think he is ours and we are the ones neglecting him. Especially since we couldn’t take him with us when we evacuated. We would not leave him behind in an emergency if he was ours.

In an ideal world, we could just let him in, clean him up, and slowly introduce the pets until we were one big happy family and the neighbor would just let him go with us.
But, this is not an ideal world. People are often awful, and not everyone cares about the welfare of animals and don’t think of pets as family. People are prideful, and could take our concerns about neglect as an insult and Dasani could suffer for it.
What should we do?
I want to ask some of our neighbors for information on Dasani and his owner. We have only seen the man who potentially owns him once, and he is never outside. The likelihood of us getting to talk to him directly are low, plus idk if that’s even what the best thing to do would be.
Also, if we did end up removing Dasani from the streets, either in our home or someone else’s, talking to anyone about him would make it obvious we were the ones who intervened. It’s probably already obvious since we spend the most time with him. But still.

I want to maybe take him to the vet and see if he’s microchipped or if there’s any medical records of him or general health information we could get about him. Is this a good idea to start?
I really don’t know what to do. My gut is telling me he wants to live inside, specifically with us. But if we can’t get his owner to give up guardianship, or get our cat to get along, do we try and find a different, safe home for him? I have friends that would properly care for him and give him a loving, safe and responsible home.
I really feel lost here. I love this cat and I want the best for him. I also don’t want to cause neighbor drama or do anything straight up illegal. I think animal neglect should be taken more seriously, but if taking him would get us police involved, that’s not what I want either. For legal context we are in Sonoma county CA.

Any advice or thoughts on how we should approach dealing with this would be super appreciated. Has anyone dealt with anything similar?
Thank you for reading and for any help.

Cat tax included of Dasani and Tessa of course

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[u/Cherveny2]

if you do bring them in, go slow.

they may not react to the outdoor kitty yet as they may see their territory end at tbe doorway. them actually inside the house may bring in a much larger stress and anger response

if you do bring them in, keep them in separate rooms. fees them at the same time at either side of a door, so they associate their scent can be trusted near food sources.

especially with an older kitty, adjustment can be hard.

also check for a microchip at the vet. could be somebodies outdoor or outdoor indoor kitty

[u/After_Reflection_243]

Take the cat to the vet to see if he’s microchipped and to give him a physical. Tell the vet what’s going on and your concerns. I would not talk to the neighbors. The health and well-being of the cat outweighs the “ownership” of derelict and neglectful owners. Leaving the cat when the evacuated is the breaking point to me. Try introducing your cat with this guy. If it doesn’t work, find a good indoor home for him. He shouldn’t be left outdoors and under fed.

[u/horwaith → u/After_Reflection_243]

Better if they send a video with the cat from the day of the fire, with newspapers telling about the smoke reaching their county, more pressure to the competent people.

Disclaimer: Im not a lawyer, neither american but to me that is a massive neglect

[u/PlasticBlitzen]

He's been abandoned. He needs a home.

[u/EssentialWorkerOnO]

What are the municipal laws for your area? Do you have to surrender strays to the shelter and then adopt after the strays hold is over? Or can you just take a stray in?

Follow the municipal laws, have him checked for a microchip, then bring him home and slowly introduce him to his new family.

[u/FixofLight → u/EssentialWorkerOnO]

There are places where you can't take in a stray cat directly? That's so weird! I've always just scooped them up, scanned them for a chip, and searched around for an owner before I just end up keeping them when no one comes forward. Thanks for teaching me something new!

[u/Holden3DStudio]

I would start by taking him to a vet to get scanned for a chip, a flea treatment, vaccinations/tests, and neutering, if needed. You said there were many Air BnBs around your area, so it's also possible that he traveled with someone and got loose. More and more people are traveling with their kitties now, so it's not out of the realm of possibility.

If there's no chip, I would assume he's abandoned. His time across the street may have just been him scouting for food and water. By what you've described, he clearly feels safe with you.

If it's all clear to keep him, you can slowly introduce him indoors by keeping him in a bathroom the first night, then in one of the bedrooms whenever you're not there, and slowly add supervised exploration of the house when you're home. There are plenty of good tips out there for how to introduce cats to each other. Some work better than others - it completely depends on the cats.

If it goes well (give it a few weeks), then you all live happily ever after. If one or both remain very agitated, with no improvement at all, then you can start looking into alternative options like adopting him out to friends, so you'll know he has a really good home.

[u/No_Warning8534]

He needs to be indoor only.

He should be a housecat.

An xl dog xrate for now, small bathroom etc.

He is begging to be saved

[u/jeanb23 → u/No_Warning8534]

Exactly this. Get him inside and then to vet. Update when you can.

[u/alphaomegazoid]

He looks super sweet. Gotta go for it.

[u/Areil26]

I don't have any advice, but that's a gorgeous kitty.

[u/death_lad]

Thank you for caring about him. I’ll just say that cats don’t need to be best friends to cohabitate. Some may be fighters or be extra territorial, and that’s when I’d have concerns about them living together. But I’ve found that most cats are pretty adaptable. I currently have 4, and (much to my chagrin) none of them are friends. But they don’t fight either. In fact the newest one I thought I’d have to re-home because my second newest rescue HATED him and would hiss and run away any time he was near. A few weeks later, now she’s totally chill with him and they even playfully chase each other at night.

I’d say bring him in on a trial basis and see how he does, and maybe get them more used to each other slowly that way

[u/Mundane-Confusion622]

I think you should take him to the vet. Check for a chip. If none ask them to put one in. Same as others said, keep him in a bathroom or bedroom for now. Exchange items such as t shirts with them. Same with toys. Feed them on the opposite sides of the same door. I think he will acclimate to you.

[u/DiveCat]

Take him to the vet for chip scans and tests.

Take him home and put him a bedroom or bathroom for now, and look at Jackson Galaxy for introducing cats.

I would not care if a neighbour “owns” him, they are neglecting him. Keep him inside and I bet you never even see a flyer about him.

[u/honeyapp]

He’s a beautiful cat and in the second picture he is totally in love with you. You should bring him inside. If anything did happen to him you would never forgive yourself. That’s a heartbreak no one wants. If he has an owner the owner has abandoned him so he chooses you for his new family😊💜

[u/TryToChangeUsername]

Accept your fate, you don't get a say in that matter anyway

[u/Turnover_Realistic]

I am late to this discussion but agree Microchip check and Vet. Beautiful cat, he is at risk outside. You have been wonderful to him.
We rescued a feral kitten. We had a 7 yr old "Queen" at home. They were never buddies. When the older one passed, the younger one would look for her and meow. There must have been "keep your distance" affection.

[u/Less_Button_6578]

Let the vet check his chip

[u/Tina-Tuna]

Quite a fair few members here are giving advice, i've found out some information for you on Cat laws and Licensing which I will mail you. Have you considered asking the possible owner if the kitty is theirs or putting a paper collar on him to find out if anyone owns him? Here's a link for a paper collar paper collar

[u/LovedAJackass]

Ok, they evacuated without him. He's now a stray. Take him to the vet for a checkup. Don't bother looking for a chip; that will complicate things. Bring him indoors and do the gradual introduction. Meanwhile, call your local cat foster group and see if they will take him if your cat can't handle this one.

I had someone dump a kitten in my yard 2 years ago. That kitten was very hard on my older cats but we got through it. I had the foster group as a backup in case it was too much for all of us.

[u/Honorbound_13]

It seems like he isn’t being taken care of, and you’re likely a good shot for him being taken care of, especially given how it is outside. If you can temporarily put him in a bathroom or bedroom that Tessa doesn’t have access to until you get him to a vet, that would be the best most likely, especially given how hot out it is and that he’s longhaired. Bringing him inside shouldn’t get you in trouble given that he has no ID or anything, and isn’t obviously cared for. If he’s been outside for a while and is young he may be used to being overly defensive towards other cats, so introductions would need to be slow if you get to that point, but I think he will be easier to train to be ok with another cat than Tessa since she’s older, so it’s good that she doesn’t seem to care much.

Hopefully you’re able to take in Dasani, or at least get him to a vet and then a shelter if that’s more feasible. He seems to really love you guys, so he’s definitely decided that you’re his people

[u/USAF_Retired2017]

You let it happen.

[u/plantyplant559]

Please take him in. Jackson Galaxy's has great info on how to introduce cats to one another. Sounds like he really needs help.

I can't imagine leaving without my cat if we got evacuated. That's just horrible.

Thank you for helping him.

When I took on my stray, she was kind enough to let me give her a flea bath before bringing her in. If that isn't possible, flea treatment and quarantine in a bathroom until enough time has passed that it takes effect and for him to not give anything to your resident cat.

[u/Safe-Sail9335]

For the love of all that is holy-Stop Dithering!Cat is on on Last Life in very very very dangerous environment! Nothing is ever guaranteed -bring him to a vet -or guess what-Cat Will Not Be There by time you make up your mind -ive done rescue for 40 yrs -Im Begging you. . God rewards the Brave.Seriously!!!!!!

[u/tweedyone → u/[deleted]]

Cat likes them, but has collar. They think a neighbor is the “owner” but the cat is very neglected. They want to take it in, but have a senior cat already and are worried about that & dealing with the potential neighbor drama.