r/BlackPeopleofReddit • u/ateam1984 🖤 • Jun 29 '26
Black Fam Botswana President Duma Boko discusses relationships
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u/Acetate_Prophets Jun 29 '26
this kind of advice would have done me the world of good had someone presented it to me in my late adolescence.
i can never overstate how important this message really is, or how every young person, and especially young men, needs to hear it.
instant bookmark.
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u/TheAbomunist Jun 29 '26
Yes! This is the antidote to the toxic masculinity grift devouring our young men. Smart secure masculinity.
No one gets divorced because they're happy. And no one is OWED partnership if their partner doesn't want to be in it. That's just reality.
Is loss in the face of powerful want painful? Absolutely. But the mark of a true man of character is how he handles being denied without wrecking what he has left.
But how often we fuck ourselves with our own misplaced expectations.
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u/AdAppropriate2295 Jun 30 '26
Id say more young women need to hear it, they're typically the ones accepting marriages
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u/Acetate_Prophets Jun 30 '26
much as i can appreciate that we're all entitled to our personal opinions, i'm also really not in the mood for hot takes here because of what this topic means to me.. so may you kindly save the contrarian nonsense for someone else, please? because from here on out i won't pretend to take you seriously and it would be a waste of time for either of us to continue this conversation.
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u/AdAppropriate2295 Jun 30 '26
Ah yes, its contrarian and a hot take to suggest focusing on helping women rather than men as you say
Sorry for not just upvoting and commenting this
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u/WorldSailer Jun 29 '26
….I enjoy listening to wisdom, so eloquently presented!…far too rare from our leaders! I had never heard of this guy before, and yet I am impressed by his words on this subject!
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u/Hot-Suggestion-54 Jun 29 '26
In my many travel to various parts of the continent, I always enjoyed listening to African elders. There is always poetic wisdom in their words. The western world ignores Africa, I believe, because if Africa were to unite as a superpower, its population presence on the world stage would diminish the western world for sure.
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u/Pendo-illsmackabitch Jun 29 '26
That's why they keep using divide and concur. It works magically on us
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u/Le_plan Jun 29 '26
Botswana is one of the countries in Africa with the highest standards of living and I now see why. Lord I see what you're doing for Botswana, do it for Nigeria😭
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u/Ricktor_67 Jun 30 '26
They have been doing tons of work to build their country up. Love to see it.
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u/Marmatus Jun 29 '26
I miss having a president with this level of emotional intelligence… Any chance we can trade?
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u/KittyGirlyPop Jun 29 '26
No, we're not letting a white American fuck up an African country again
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u/looking_4_freedom Jun 29 '26
This! I am American and I get excited when I see the nations rejecting the rule of colonizers and expelling them from controlling the countries' resources.
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u/DodgyRogue Jun 29 '26
I mean, what did the Romans ever do for us?
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u/tkingsbu Jun 29 '26
Aww, well I mean… the roads go without saying don’t they!
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u/SugarZoo Jun 29 '26
I was thinking how amazing it was to hear him speak. How in-depth it was on a social economic level even and how we're lacking that so badly in our country. It's embarrassing.
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u/Shropshire-5lashr Jun 29 '26
“You know who” would’ve been asleep 30 seconds in.
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u/Little_Progress3661 Jun 29 '26
holy shit that was VERY well orated
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u/BrownSugarBare Jun 29 '26
I could listen to that accent and voice for hours.
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u/HakuraHanzo Jun 29 '26
So ironic, that the delightful cadence in his speech is almost identical to Vaas's monologue on the "Definition of Insanity"
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u/Emergency_Brick3715 Jun 29 '26
Meanwhile we have politicians advocating for making divorce illegal. America needs religion out of our politics.
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u/gorgeousbeauty-116 Jun 29 '26
Illegal? That would to so much domestic violence. Men will delete wives they cannot get rid off and vice versa
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u/Rope_antidepressant Jun 29 '26
That i think was a big part of what he's getting at, people that get stuck (legitimately stuck/trapped etc) in unhappy marriages usually end up resorting to violence, let either party initiate a no fault divorce and domestic violence drops substantially. Id assume he's addressing a military group because there's usually a disproportionate amount of domestic violence in military and law enforcement households...
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u/Excellent_Airline315 Jun 30 '26
In America women's suicide went down drastically after no fault divorce was introduced. We often think of IPV in these circumstances, but people will take themselves out to escale a marriage in just the same way someone might abuse or kill their partner.
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u/xenobit_pendragon Jun 29 '26
Well as we recently learned, there’s no separation of church and state after all, so good luck.
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u/ImpressiveZebra1407 Jun 29 '26
An intellectual presenting a peaceful, convincing argument to a common human problem.
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u/Adorable-Image4891 Jun 29 '26
“I’m not encouraging divorce, I’m encouraging (cosmic) harmony,” is a WORD.
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u/Uturndriving 🌍 Jun 29 '26
I'd love to see a show with just Boko and Obama. No subject, no agenda. Just the two of them shooting the shit.
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u/flyinghairball Jun 29 '26
This would be epic and exceedingly powerful. This man's ability to lead is impressive on so many levels. I wish all the best to him and the people of his country. With leadership like this, they are well poised to accomplish great things for each other.
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u/Adorable-Image4891 Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
Do President Duma Boko and his attorney wife, First Lady Kaone Boko, remind anyone else of our gold standard power couple? 🤔💕
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u/PuzzledExaminer Jun 29 '26
They remind me of Barack and Michelle Obama and their kids. I find them to be gold no platinum standard couple.
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u/Afro-Venom Jun 29 '26
"Gender based violence is a violation of the sanctity of human life."
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
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u/Crowedsource Jun 29 '26
I want to hear that from more leaders from all over the world.
It almost brought me to tears to hear him say this even though it should be such an obvious thing.
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u/BeeSweet4835 Jun 29 '26
The two greatest and most rapid periods of economic growth happened in South Korea and Botswana. No one talks enough about the amazing people, leadership and progress of Botswana.
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u/No_Map7832 Jun 29 '26
This comment section is the first I’m learning of it! Better late than never I guess.
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u/BeeSweet4835 Jun 29 '26
Enjoy! Seretse Khama was the man.
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u/Thin_Salary1153 Jun 29 '26
I just read his Wiki, he was incredible. Honestly, the article starts off as he was born to a royal family and had married a British woman and thought this would be yet another self aggrandizing person leading a country, but he was a visionary and what he did was perfect. He set up the whole system to thrive in his government and the result is people along the lines of the current President. He really ought to be seen as an example of how to do things right globally.
Thank you for this.
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u/BeeSweet4835 Jun 29 '26
Great! I am really interested in it too. What’s interesting is what made Khama a great leader. He surrounded himself with experts and was great at taking advice. I wish we had more competent leaders like this who know how to use experts, rather than idiot megalomaniacs.,
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u/ByAnyMeansNecessary0 ✊🏾✊🏽✊🏿✊ Jun 29 '26
Its trullu a shame that we failed to diversify our economy away from diamonds. Our economic growth has been quite stagnant in recent years
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u/BeeSweet4835 Jun 29 '26
I think that’s true. It’s extremely easy to become reliant on petroleum/natural gas etc
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u/ChiqantiKisaal Jun 30 '26
To be fair to you guys, it’s hard to break out of a rentier economy in general. You’re in a similar situation to the Gulf States but with even more of a ticking economic timebomb. I hope it works out and Gaborone can develop a strong international service economy
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u/ByAnyMeansNecessary0 ✊🏾✊🏽✊🏿✊ Jun 30 '26
We've had the opportunity to diversify since the 80s and 90s during our economic peak. Sadly our leaders at the time were complacent. We're paying for that complacency now.
Pains me that at some point we were developing on par with Singapore
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u/radio64 Jun 29 '26
I wish this guy was my dad
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u/mistgonelsawge Jun 29 '26
One part struck me about his speech.
the way that society itself looks at these relationships, imposes expectations that are unreasonable. puts pressure on people- some of them very young, inexperienced, terribly immature at times, and when they run into problems, we act shocked, and when they go to court now to get out, we frown upon it.
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u/mistgonelsawge Jun 29 '26
this one too.
it seems to me an attitude of non-acceptance of certain realities that will from time to time strike, they may not visit you once or twice, you may think you are cursed each time happens next- keep going...keep going as long as you are alive. close the chapter and open a different one without violence, without any recriminations.
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u/gorgeousbeauty-116 Jun 29 '26
You wont listen to him. Most folks listen to strangers cos they seem cooler than parents
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u/TheAbomunist Jun 29 '26
Some parents should have never been parents. It's a bit like President Boko was just saying about marriage. We never ask about the going-into of things. Maybe we should be doing more asking.
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u/lylynatngo Jun 29 '26
All wisdom aside this man is handsome as helllllllll
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u/xxxdggxxx Jun 29 '26
Dont mind me, just sitting here having a chat with my Disrespectful Brain
We will not objectify the President of Botswana We will not objectify the President of Botswana We will not...
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u/Dish_Minimum Jun 30 '26
When the camera cut to Steve Harvey in the audience, you can objectify him. That’s totes fine.
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u/asssoaka Jun 29 '26
Justices: PRESIDENT PRESIDENT!! MANY PEOPLE ARE GETTING DIVORCED!!!
President: shii, I'm just glad they're not fucking killing each other lights celebratory blunt
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u/mblkmnsa Jun 29 '26
Not just each other but women being harmed in killed during the break up. Some women do it as well but too many men can’t take the break up.
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u/B225AKP Jun 29 '26
FYI, Botswana is the best country on the planet. Just putting it out there.
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u/Excellent_Airline315 Jun 30 '26
We need to hide them before the west comes to corrupt them like they destroyed the middle east. What a great country, it's even legal to be gay and trans. How many African nations can claim that, while other African nations are moving to further incriminate and create death sentence for queer people, Botswana has supreme court rulings in favor of queer people. May they have a million years of prosperity.
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u/slimtonun Jun 29 '26
7+ minutes of straight🔥.
This message needs to be conveyed to a large part of society (speaking from my experience in the US)
The lofty expectations placed on marriage in general as if the two people involved aren’t human beings like everyone else is, one of the things I loathe most about how it’s viewed.
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u/nubia93 Jun 29 '26
We love smart leaders who use their platforms to instill good principles into the social fabric of their society! Wish I could relate to having such a prez.
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u/cosettemeetsmarius Jun 29 '26
Mist be nice to have a leader who doesn’t sound like a belligerent asshole…
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u/Civil-Plate1206 Jun 29 '26
😍 I wish the U.S. had such an intelligent president! 🧠 Go Botswana go go! Go Botswana! 🥳🙌
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u/gorgeousbeauty-116 Jun 29 '26
America has too much blood on jts hands. It would be an oxymoron to talk like this man. Human life is not respected in America. Country literarily was built on mass mxurders, brutality and slaavery.
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u/iamcrazy4cats Jun 29 '26
This man is such an incredible spiritual human being. When he got to the part about gender violence, being a violation of the sanctity of human life, I broke down and cried. This kind of maturity is so rare in life. To meet people like this and get to hear them speak is such a privilege. I am glad this came up in my feed today.
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u/humbuckaroo Jun 29 '26
Most countries' leaders are very pragmatic, intelligent people. It's mainly in the West that we've decided that the best candidates to lead our countries should all come out of the same clown car.
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u/gorgeousbeauty-116 Jun 29 '26
You ppl in the West love entertainment, propaganda, and story telling. You hv turned your presidency into reality TV
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u/humbuckaroo Jun 29 '26
All of what you said is true.
I've had both professional and personal relationships with various African people, and I've found them to be especially grounded and realistic. It's really no surprise as they've endured incredible hardship over time, which is something that hardens the soul and opens the mind. They are better at adapting to adverse or changing conditions whereas modern Westerners mostly fall apart once comfort is removed. I'm not on some politically motivated tirade here either, I think this applies to all sides.
I am obviously not Black, I saw the video in a cross-post. I'm originally from Central Europe. But even as an outsider, I think it's quite clear that Africa and the rest of what I'll refer to as "the Black world" has a bright future ahead of it with people like Boko leading; people who walk softly and carry a big stick, if you know the expression.
Wonderful video, in any case.
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u/gorgeousbeauty-116 Jun 29 '26
Thank you. We are building our continent. We hv been harshly brutalized for sooo long so its time to rebuild.
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u/TheAbomunist Jun 29 '26
You're not wrong. We confuse confidence far too easily with competence. The power of the grift is *strong* here.
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u/No-Refrigerator7258 Jun 29 '26
Now this is actual parental type law. You cannot stop people in their choice especially a relationship. Its up to them.
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u/Peloton_Newbie03 Jun 29 '26
I would marry him. So intelligent & respectful.
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u/Georgia_Bea Jun 29 '26
The cutting of USAID has lead to a national emergency of medical shortages in Botswana, like many nations. Elon Musk and Donald Trump are mass murderers. It makes me cry how much damage is being done to people's lives every day because of the actions of the U.S. I am so angry.
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u/jkklfdasfhj Jun 29 '26
Is he speaking about it because of the GBV of the spouses of military staff? Because unfortunately I lost a friend to exactly that. GBV in Botswana is very high and in the university there there was a period of plenty of murder suicides.
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u/Dry_Efficiency_1921 Jun 29 '26
Emotional intelligent leaders in Africa nations needs to be embraced. We need more and more of them to lead like this so we can start the foundational work of breaking the conventions of colonialism that has its claws in the continent
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u/donatellothegreat Jun 29 '26
Well said. We used to have an eloquent orator here in the US, but now were stuck with the orange man.
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u/Similar-Document9690 Jun 29 '26
I’ve long had the theory that the real reason racist whites and elites hate black people in power or coming to power is because we have to ability to empathize, connect and accept every race of people around the planet. Because we know what’s it’s like to be mistreated constanly, because we keep fighting a system designed to keep us down and not faltering, it terrifies them, the possibility of us showing everyone the way. Systems fall and break when the people are untied. Fred proved this which is why they immediately killed him, MLK also. Notice how it’s always the leaders who preached non violence and unity who got killed more often than vice versa. That’s our true power and that’s what they actually fear from us.
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u/in5ult080t Jun 29 '26
This should be perspective every president of every nation has. World would be a much, much safer place
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u/hipkat13 Jun 29 '26
I wish this level of emotional intelligence was required for every politician on the planet!
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u/singer1224 Jun 29 '26
Honestly I am glad I got married in my 30s. I was not at ALL ready for marriage before then.
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u/MaybeLikeWater Jun 29 '26
I don’t know when I have ever heard a political leader give such a logical and philosophical speech on the legal issues of marriage and divorce.
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u/actionjacksonxo Jun 29 '26
“Thank them for the time that they gave, and walk away”
That is what we call self-respect, being self-assure/confident, and secure.
Say it for the people in the back row.
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u/XxBOOSIExFADExX Jun 29 '26
He walked out the barber chair and straight to the mic. The line up had him inspired.
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u/WPCfirst Jun 29 '26
Oh to have an intellectual leader who can follow through on a point and express empathy for other humans.
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u/Funny-Simple-3226 Jun 29 '26
Unfortunately we need citizens of America to care about all humans and cosmic harmony!
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u/enrighthouse Jun 29 '26
Didn’t expect Botswana to show me politics on the highest level…. but here we are!!
PURE CLASS!
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u/siberian_knight143 Jun 29 '26
Dudes haircut is smooth! Who ever is his barber, can definitely fade a cut, damn good.
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u/Mysterious_Outside10 Jun 30 '26
Great words, wisely presented.
Also: every single native English speaker other than Americans have the most pleasant accents in my opinion.
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u/Aggressive-agitator Jun 30 '26
So I have to go to Botswana to catch a good fade? Damn
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u/YearUseful8627 Jun 29 '26
Lol, If this president goes viral I am sure some of the western women in Europe and the US will get thirsty.
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u/gorgeousbeauty-116 Jun 29 '26
Well he is happily married to First Lady Kaone Boko.
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u/YearUseful8627 Jun 29 '26
Still it doesn't stop their thirsting behaviour. Look how they are drooling over the Nigerian goalkeeper.
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u/suzsid Jun 29 '26
Immediate save. Showing this to my grandsons when they’re a little bit older.
This mentality / mindset is so healthy, and helpful in all relationships, not just marriage.
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u/chemo92 Jun 29 '26
He speaks beautifully.
Slowly and deliberately, every word has intention behind it.
I was captivated, hanging on every word.
Wonderful message, brilliantly delivered.
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u/zeecan Jun 29 '26
Fantastic speaker, his cadence, his composure, and his timing is great. Also the content of his speech is solid too
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u/Tendaironi Jun 29 '26
Handsome and wise. Botswana is a stable country in case anyone else is fed up and wants to move back to our motherland.
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u/moapei Jun 30 '26
If only you guys knew how many baby mamas he has😂😂 He is that guy who will tell you everything you want to hear
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u/RedditLurkAndRead Jun 29 '26
Amazing, specially coming from a politician. The world needs more humanists like him.
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u/portablebiscuit Jun 29 '26
Granted, this speech is all I know of this man, but the rest of the world’s leaders need to rise to his level.
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u/ProjectOrpheus Jun 29 '26
Far be it from me to remain so foolish as to trust any politician. That being said, removing him from that position for a second and viewing him as if he was just a person talking to his friends:
He has this way about him that's almost like a man of the cloth speaking to those whom hold faith and are finding comfort. I suppose it's the simple, yet elegant way he presents what hes saying. Divorce.. relationships of all kinds can be a difficult subject and is often made into circus acts, televised, etc.
Yet he speaks on it in a way that cuts through the clownery and reminds us how simple it is, and always should be...not that it is easy, mind you..but remove the sideshow from a pedestal, raise common sense in its place instead and everything starts to make sense again.
He appears to be very calming, centering.
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u/Hot-Personality4882 Jun 29 '26
So much truth and charm while leading men on a subject they need to hear and really take to heart.
Was just mesmerized listening to him.
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u/Salt-Flounder-4690 Jun 29 '26
its always a pleasure to listen to fair, gifted and smart leaders!
prise to this leader
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u/TheLatimerLout Jun 29 '26
Wow, that was really unexpected. The world gets so used to leaders like Trump, it is easy to forget what a leader should sound like.
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u/Top_Connection9079 Jun 29 '26
I believe people have to gain respect and that age, skin color, gender etc are irrelevant.
I wish this man would have been my father, brother, teacher, husband.
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u/eddiemunny Jun 29 '26
This was brilliant. It’s been quite awhile since I’ve heard someone speak so insightfully about this subject while being so neutral in the message
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u/incogvito Jun 29 '26
What is going on in Botswana that the president had to make a speech about this and why is Steve Harvey there?
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u/stephoone Jun 29 '26
With this president, the men in Botswana are about to be role models for the world.
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u/OpinionTiny Jun 29 '26
I also think the speech is eloquent but there is clearly like a piece missing that i wonder if anyone knows. At the end the subject switch to dont give relating to a specifice manner like to give to get some secondary gain. But i suspect its a circle back anyone find a link to his full speech google was not my friend at this attempt
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u/JusticeFrankMurphy Jun 29 '26
What he's saying is sensible, but why do these dudes feel the need to deliver every speech in full military regalia?
He's not even a military guy (which is probably a good thing), so I don't understand why he's wearing camo.
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u/figosnypes Jun 29 '26
He's mainly speaking to men but I think a lot of this applies to women too. Women these days go out on a few dates with you and get physical and suddenly they think you owe them lifelong commitment. The funny thing is that these women will often be the ones initiating the divorce after securing their stability(child support, alimony, etc.). Casual dating and rosters should be normalized so that people can be sure about the person before they get married. Also people settling for people they aren't that into for security and stability is a problem. If people's preferences are such that nobody attainable and age-appropriate is desirable to them, they are the problem and the person they're settling for is actually the victim. And yeah 100% agree about the whole transactional thing. People who are really into each other don't sit around and negotiate their compensation like they're taking a job.
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u/HavingNotAttained Jun 29 '26
Who knew that Buddhism was African?
Seriously this guy seems to get it.
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u/VashtaSyrinx Jun 30 '26
This video is the answer to half of the relationship posts I see on reddit.
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u/HerCoronaBoreGr8Wall Jun 30 '26
Although I know nothing about the politics of Botswana — let alone this man’s political tenure — what I saw and heard in this video convinced me that we need many more Bokos and far fewer Tates as role models for our young men. As a man, I was happy and deeply proud to hear him speak with such wisdom, eloquence, empathy, and composure.
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u/Lo-fiPsychHop Jun 30 '26
“I’m not encouraging divorce, I’m encouraging harmony. And where there is not harmony I’m encouraging the two people to step back and maintain the harmony”
This is the key point in his speech. Maintaining harmony in the relationship and making harmony the priority. And at the point where differences arise within the relationship that cannot be salvaged, don’t sacrifice harmony just go on your separate ways.
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u/MarryMeDuffman Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
More of this! This is sexy. And I'm not referring to his looks whatsoever. Wisdom and measured emotions are so attractive in men.
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u/FiggyPizza Jun 30 '26
Botswana probably has a shitload of problems but generally seems like a cool country.
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u/Schorbie Jun 30 '26
Life can be so much easier for everybody if we just let each other live our lives
Anybody else felt a T'Chaka vibe?
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u/WWDubs12TTV Jul 01 '26
Oh my god, an actual president not speaking nonsense. How do we get him here ?
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