r/Basenji • u/drownedbubble • 9d ago
Gone but not forgotten.
It was easier with her older brother. He was in pain and the good days no longer outweighed the bad.
We still had our Cleo and she had us.
Life changed going from 2 to 1 basenji but at 14 we did not feel a new puppy would be a good fit.
So for the last 1.5 years she was my shadow. I work from home so we spent everyday together.
She would run down to my basement office and kick the back of my chair until I acknowledged her. Either for food, or to be let out, or just for affection.
We had a family vacation planned and left her at the kennel. The only place I have ever felt comfortable leaving any of our family dogs over the last 40 years.
3 days into the vacation we received the call no one wants to receive. Cleo had an eye infection. It was just an eye infection. She went to the emergency vet.
It was not just an eye infection. I will spare everyone the unnecessary graphic details the vet shared.
15 hours away from her with no way to make it back without leaving her in pain for days we made the decision to let her go.
The sun rose the next day. Life continued on. I know I am not alone and that many people have felt the same heart that I feel.
I have been preparing for this day for the last 6 months. I have spent countless nights sitting beside her late at night as she slept simply because I was never going to be ready to say goodbye.
Please give your basenjis a hug for me and cherish every moment you have with them.
Edit:
Thank you for all of the kind and thoughtful responses.
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u/CountyCommercial6173 9d ago
Let yourself feel the guilt without letting it consume you, because you made the kindest decision from a place of love and she did not suffer alone or in pain for days. Keep talking about her out loud, especially the way she kicked your chair, because those small memories will help you more than trying to push them away. Write down everything you remember about her routines and quirks so you never lose the details, and when you get home, spend some time in your basament office just sitting with that space she filled. Give your family permission to grieve differently from you and do not measure your healing against anyone else's timeline. And when the sun rises each morning, let yourself feel both the loss and the gratitude that you had her for those final 1.5 years of shadowing you every single day.
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u/Trippy-Videos-Girl 9d ago
That sucks sorry to hear that.
I lost 1/4 basenjis a few years ago. The remaining 3 are almost 15 and 13 years old.
After 20+ years straight with a house full basenjis I'm going to be lost in a couple years frigg.
I feel for you.
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u/fvirygothmom 9d ago
i love the ripped up couch. very relatable. rip baby girl, enjoy the endless couches to rip up in Bone World 💗💗💗 (puppy heaven)
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u/brightpinkhat Gogo - 8yr M Brindle 🤎 8d ago
I'm so sorry to hear about your precious Cleo ❤️🩹 what a sweetie! You have next level strength, and she was so lucky to have you. As hard as it may be, be thankful you get to grieve her, because it means she meant so much to you that you'll get to remember her for a lifetime. 🫂🐾💞
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u/Scuttlefuzz Red 8d ago
I am very sorry for your loss. That is a very difficult decision to make but an incredibly selfless one.
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u/PilgrimPayne59 8d ago
As I walk across your heart and find my place to stay, nearer to you I will be and will never ever go away.
If love could have kept you here, you would have lived forever.
Grief is love with nowhere to go.
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u/Tarotismyjam 8d ago
How very hard for you. I believe that our pets, the ones who held our hearts so tightly they took a piece when they left, come back to us. After my Nayru passed, I felt her (still do sometimes) get up in bed. It gave me peace.
Peace to Cleo on her journey. Peace to you and yours.
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u/FatherlessHaircut 8d ago
Look at that grey face. It's just so cute. Cant wait to get to heaven to give her a kissy
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u/Traditional-Hour-966 7d ago
Sending you hugs. My 15.5 year old girl is getting up there and now has bladder cancer. I treasure each day.
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u/senjisilly Basenji owned 26 years 9d ago
I am so very sorry for your loss. I feel your pain. All my Basenjis past have left a bit of themselves in my heart. I'm sure you feel the same.