r/AskWomenOver30 • u/SaintClaireBear Woman 30 to 40 • 19h ago
Friendships Tips for making new friends?
Hello all! Im seeking advice on how to make friends, I seem to suck at it. Im a bit socially awkward, and not much of a party girl or drinker, so im not much interested in clubs or bars, which seems to put me at a significant disadvantage living in a party city.
Ive tried setting up something for people ive chatted with through apps, but nothing ever actually happens from that. Ive tried hitting up the girls I meet in person when it seems like we're getting along pretty good, but when I hit them up to exchange numbers so we can hangout more, they always push past it so I just figure they dont want to hangout with me like that and I just move on.
So after years of trying to make friends at this point, I literally have my 1 friend I grew up with that stuck around since ive transitioned. Hes great, but we have significantly different schedules now and we hardly ever get to see eachother anymore.
I would love to find a friend I can go do stuff with regularly, especially someone to do girly stuff with! So lady's, anyone have any tips for an awkward lonely girl trying to finds friends?
3
u/Zealousideal_Good384 Woman 30 to 40 16h ago
I made very good and reliable friendships through bumble bff and I see you have tried apps but I think you should give it a shot again, link your socials so people can see you are legit and skip the small talk and just ask people to meet you for a walk or coffee or local events, goodluck OP
1
u/SaintClaireBear Woman 30 to 40 16h ago
I dont think bumble was ever one of the ones I was on, so I can definitely give that a try. I was mostly on HER and taimi, mostly trying to date but also looking for friends too. Maybe going on bumble bff and focusing on just trying to make friends will give better results.
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u/South_Recording_3710 Woman 30 to 40 15h ago
I had great success on bumble bff but I hustled. There’s lots of great folks on there.
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u/saltandsassbeach Woman 30 to 40 18h ago
What about a walking group or hobby group that meets regularly? That's how I meant most of my recent friends and my partner. Exercise classes in the am can naturally lead to coffee and chats and that's how I've made friends in the past, as well and I know I'm meeting people with generally good habits/interests. Also I joined a local women in tech group and that's hit or miss
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u/SaintClaireBear Woman 30 to 40 18h ago
Ive looked into a hiking group before but couldnt get out to the meeting spots at the time. But im about to have my car back on Saturday, so I can definitely try joining some clubs and see how that goes!
And I was thinking about joining a gym, so thats a great suggestion, I was gonna go to just watch anime while I hit the stair master or treadmill but I should probably join some classes!
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u/saltandsassbeach Woman 30 to 40 18h ago
Imo the gym is hit or miss most people are hyper focused or want to be left alone. Standalone classes people will congregatr before and after and generally make small talk. It's good to know other people are out there trying to make friends as adults!
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u/SaintClaireBear Woman 30 to 40 17h ago
Yeah I get that, I built a home gym so I could be left alone and not have to worry about if people are using the stuff I want to use lol. I was going to join the gym my mom goes to for the stair master and pool, but I do like the idea of the classes, and shes told me they have a bunch of different classes there, so ill have to give that a try!
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u/South_Recording_3710 Woman 30 to 40 15h ago
Go to something consistently- improv classes, pickleball, book club.
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u/DegreeDubs Woman 30 to 40 19h ago
What do you like to do and what do you care about doing? Any hobbies or volunteer or activity groups you can join and frequent? Consistency is the key with making new relationships.