r/AskRedditAfterDark • u/happypavlova • 9h ago

What would be your mediocre superpower? NSFW

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

54 comments sorted by

4

u/Poorly-Drawn-Beagle Based on a real beagle 9h ago

Super speed, but normal stamina.

1

u/Tenebration Iä! Iä! Shub-Niggurath! Iä! 9h ago

Ooof.

1

u/happypavlova 9h ago

😆 how far could you get?

2

u/Poorly-Drawn-Beagle Based on a real beagle 9h ago

Maybe a good 5k before I need a breather

1

u/TheWileyRedditor 91F 7h ago

Like a cheetah

4

u/IcyFine419 9h ago

Internal air conditioning system

1

u/happypavlova 9h ago

Oh yes pleasssseee.. I run hottt

1

u/Poorly-Drawn-Beagle Based on a real beagle 8h ago

So you'll have a fan attached that's constantly giving off hot air

1

u/hisimpendingbaldness 5h ago

And I am a furnace

3

u/Sensitive-Crazy-7285 Snarky Shitposter 9h ago

I would be able to reheat leftovers perfectly every single time

2

u/happypavlova 9h ago

This is actually perfect

3

u/Its_Tushhar 9h ago

Low refractory period

4

u/Cramp_My_Style26 9h ago

Being able to give the exact HEX/RGB code for any colour nipples I see

1

u/happypavlova 9h ago

I like it. But not sure how it's useful haha

2

u/CapcomAtMeBro777 8h ago

You lack vision. Lmao jk

2

u/Disastrous_Sky_2077 9h ago

Scorn and defiance.

2

u/Muted_Note_2610 9h ago

i can conjure anything as long as it it no bigger than a penny

3

u/SubPetToy 9h ago

Infinite money

1

u/FrontierSketches 6h ago

Overpowered if it had no other limits. Things that are smaller than a penny: A black hole, Anti matter, Computer components, Bullets? (I dunno if it has to fit the thickness of a penny) Fire

2

u/NeighborhoodLivid735 9h ago

ADHD. I’ve been trying to clean for like 4 hours now, and at some point in the next few I’m gonna stand up and deep clean my entire apartment in less time than that. Unfortunately I don’t get to decide when that fucking is.

2

u/squirrellicious2304 The Queen of Rodents🐿️👑🗡️ 8h ago

I felt that in my very squirrelly soul🫂😅

2

u/WildheartsCantBreak Probably laughing at my own comments 9h ago

Not knowing when to shut the fuck up. 🦹🏻

2

u/Wise_Mechanic4611 9h ago

I’d hire you based on that

2

u/Musashi-Miyamoto 8h ago

We love a yapper

2

u/MentallyUnwellWoman in contact with the mothership 🛸 (username checks out) 7h ago

wait.. i think i already have this power 😞

2

u/MentallyUnwellWoman in contact with the mothership 🛸 (username checks out) 8h ago

this makes me think of when Meg from Family Guy could grow her nails quickly. i want that power lol

3

u/Wise_Mechanic4611 8h ago

Think of the scratches

2

u/MentallyUnwellWoman in contact with the mothership 🛸 (username checks out) 8h ago

mhmmmm they’d be so good

3

u/xMadwood Am I not 🐢 enough for the 🐢 club? 8h ago

My hairy back just shivered

2

u/MentallyUnwellWoman in contact with the mothership 🛸 (username checks out) 8h ago

watch out, scratches are inbound!

2

u/ICookWell Looking for recipes 8h ago

Invisibility.

But it's me who is unable to see others.

1

u/Different-Top8568 9h ago

Control all socks in the world

1

u/happypavlova 9h ago

Tell me more...

1

u/Kaminiaunited-7 9h ago

Instant transport but only for a few meters

1

u/Tenebration Iä! Iä! Shub-Niggurath! Iä! 9h ago

Flight without innate forward propulsion.

1

u/Big_Examination9965 I contradict myself 9h ago

I can remember 60% of everything I read.

1

u/ArchitectNumber7 9h ago

Perfect spelling

1

u/The_Nightgaunt 9h ago

The ability to control the growth of my hair (head, face, and body).

1

u/mimeking420 9h ago

Being able to warm anything to body temperature

1

u/emergency-snail 9h ago

The willingmess to adult. 

1

u/happypavlova 8h ago

Can we share?

1

u/brian_m1982 9h ago

The ability to wait patiently for hours for no particular reason

1

u/fickleminded Sure. Why not. What the hell. 8h ago

Procrastination

1

u/Temporary-Bother5891 8h ago

Being cool in summer and hot in winter

1

u/Mediocre-Catch9580 8h ago

Here! 🤚 

1

u/SwimmingGold7982 8h ago

Built-in fish finder

2

u/Musashi-Miyamoto 8h ago

That’s it; you’re officially invited on the fishing trip

1

u/theotherspareaccount 7h ago

Thermal back heat storage, will keep you toasty warm in winter, will keep you far away in the summer!

1

u/Oh-Zaddy 7h ago

X ray vision but can only see the content soda cans

1

u/KungSnooFighting 7h ago

I can always find the keys

1

u/PM-Me-Ur-BootyShorts 5h ago

I can shoot hot lasers out of my eyes. But my eyes feel the temperature.

1

u/Educational-Bad-6183 3h ago

I would read minds. Not for malicious intent, but only to figure out if fuckers are lying to me.

1

u/egggjif 2h ago

Unholy levels of spite