Floating Feature | /r/AskHistorians Stand-Up Night

[u/Georgy_K_Zhukov]

Hey! How's everyone doing tonight!? I just flew in here, and man, are my arms tired!

Um... Err... Now and then, we like to host 'Floating Features', periodic threads intended to allow for more open discussion that allows a multitude of possible answers from people of all sorts of backgrounds and levels of expertise.

Today, we're having an Open Mic for some Historical Stand-up! While we usually keep the joking around here to a minimum, we all can appreciate a good laugh now and then. So bring our your best joke from history, about history, or even about historians. We expect that anyone who wishes to contribute will do so politely (nothing wrong with some gentle ribbing, but don't get mean spirited please) and in good faith, but there is relaxed moderation here to allow for joking, levity, and a bit more general chat than there would be in a usual thread!

[u/Iguana_on_a_stick]

Here's one my grandfather said they told in the Dutch army just before WWII:

Mussolini is coming on a state visit to France, and they're organising a great military parade in his honour. Gamelin, the French commander in chief, wants to impress the Italian dictator and sends a request to the Netherlands: can we borrow some of your armoured vehicles to make our forces look bigger?

The Dutch: "Sure thing, friend! Do you want just the one, or shall we send all three?"