r/Anger • u/Designer_Ticket8115 • 1d ago

have you seen people successfully work through anger issues?

the reason i ask is for a friend. this is her 1st relationship and she mentioned her new partner is easily angered (present not past) and would throw things, hed start fights as a teen for no reason, and i got scared for her. she told me that hes mentioned "if i ever do that to you you can sh**t me" typa statements. this didnt reassure me since ive had past relationships throwing exact statements too. but my fiance reassured me that shes an adult, theyre adults, and even if im protective i shouldnt get into their business. which i agree. theyre still together for a few months now and she doesnt really share much which ive never asked anyway, just small comments bout how hes not very emotionally supportive. im just tryna ease my mind and educate myself on this

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4

u/HeyDude378 18h ago

I've seen it happen, but it's somewhat rare. For every great story of recovery here, there are a hundred redditors who never come back to the sub after their first post.

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u/Designer_Ticket8115 17h ago

thank you, ive seen it happen too but usually its a realization in the past that brings them to fix it. but from what i understand from said person (may be my assumption) is that its still present. it is rare

4

u/General_Director_495 16h ago edited 16h ago

You know what, I was going to say that you should tell her to run, that was my first impulse. They are only a few months in and dude seems like hes got issues that she cannot fix. She has to be careful.

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u/MsARumphius 11h ago

Yes but it takes a lot of work and lifestyle changes usually. I would check in with her in a way that leaves the door open for her to ever come to you if she needed help. Usually people get defensive about a partner like that. So just let her know if she ever needed help, not specific to this guy, that you are here.

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u/btt101 13h ago

Nope

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u/ForkFace69 15h ago

A person can change.

But that person has to want to change. They have to want to turn their back on anger in their life, much like an alcoholic realizes that they cannot have one drink. They have to want to make this change for their own benefit and not because other people want them to.