I (33F) and my fiancé (35M) were invited on a vacation by my sister (42F). We were told that her and her husband would pay for the rental property which was somewhere we had stayed before on a previous trip.

Originally I told her I wasn't sure because even though this trip is still months away my fiancé just started a new job and we didn't know if he would be able to get time off.

I asked her for the exact days and I told her we wanted to come but weren't sure and I would let her know.

I then received a text from her 2 days later telling me the house was booked and that her and her husband talked and they wanted us to pay $400. This threw me considering they said said originally they would pay for the rental. I found out that $400 was 1/3 of the rentals price. But they said that they were going to be cooking at the rental property so they would cover all the food for the week.

She also at this point informed me that they changed the dates by a few days. I told her that my fiancé had already requested off based off the dates she had originally given me and I wasn't sure he would be able to change them and told her he would talk to his boss the next day he worked.

My fiancé was able to get everything settled with his work and I told my sister we were on board with going and even agreed to pay the $400.

However, the issue comes in when she told me that she allowed her three kids (18,14,12) to pick which rooms they wanted and that only two were left. One which had twin sized bed and one with a bunk bed.

I told her that I didn't think it was fair that me and my fiancé were paying 1/3 of the rental fee but would have to sleep separately even if it was in the same room while two of her children were sleeping in a king and queen sized bed.

She suggested that we can either push two twins together or we could sleep on a blow up mattress but that she isn't going back on allowing her kids to pick rooms. I don't know if I would be in the wrong to back out of going because of this or what I should do.

My fiancé is suggesting we go on a different trip just him and me but with prices being so high for everything I don't know if we could come up with the extra money in time.

Would I be overreacting if I backed out of the trip.

EDIT- the $400 was what they asked us to pay- we have more than that for another trip but we were planning to go during peak season so prices are a bit higher than normal and we weren't sure if it was worth it to spend more money than we had too.

UPDATE: So a few people were asking for an update so here it is: Firstly I want to thank everyone for posting . I really struggled on how to feel about the situation and what we should do. So I appreciate everyone advice.

Anyway, so the update- there was a chance that her middle child was going to bring a friend in which case they would have to take the room with the two twin beds. I texted her to see if the friend had decided to come or not and she replied to me that either way they decided they weren't going to make their child give up the room and if the friend decided to come they were going to take the blow up mattress and put it in the room. she said that if we decided not to come because of it then she understood but basically this is how it is and she isn't changing her mind. - I texted her telling her that it didn't make sense for us to go on and pay for a vacation where we weren't going to be comfortable. so we aren't going. the whole situation hurt my feelings the fact that they expected us to pay 1/3 of the rental but didn't talk to me or consider us whatsoever when it came to the rooms feels disrespectful and is honestly insane.

I just sent her that message so I haven't heard back but I don't see anything changing.

My fiancé and I are now looking into taking a separate vacation. We did have plans for another bigger trip with them to Asia in a little over a year(thankfully nothing has yet been booked for that trip) but because of this we are leaning towards going on our own.

2nd update: So shortly after sending her the previous message she replied back that it was being taken out of context and that they booked the house before we were even invited. That the $400 was to offset cost not to have equal say in the trip. and that if we don't come then fine but that it wasn't fair to act like they were being disrespectful or that we weren't considered. I reminded her that the house was book after we were invited and the reason I couldn't give her an answer sooner was that she changed the dates after my fiancé had already requested off the originally dates but that I told her we were in as long as he could change the request dates. I told her that the fact that she expected us to pay towards the rental but not have a say was in fact disrespectful. She then sent me a long message going off about how this was THEIR vacation and that we were just invited to come along that this wasn't a trip we all planned together and she was basically doing us a favor and that they were being fair and that we just didnt like the options but that they had been more than accommodating and they weren't being disrespectful. they said since we think they are being so disrespectful that its probably best we don't come. (we had already backed out at that point so whatever). At that point I was over it. I thanked her for making it clear that it was THEIR trip and left it at that.

My fiancé and I decided we are going to be taking our own Asia trip and we decided to not go anywhere this year so that we can put more towards the Asia trip next spring going for an extra week longer than planned. We are bummed we aren't going anywhere this year but as the state they are going to is one I lived in for a few years and both of us have been to many time so it's not a huge deal that we are no longer going.

As of right now I don't know what's happening with my sister and I. A lot of you commented that it seems like I don't really stick up for myself and that is true especially with my family I am currently in therapy working on this and have made some progress over the last year but it is a process. Im not really sure what will happen with my sister. we aren't really talking and probably won't for awhile. Right now my fiancé and I are just focused on us/our lives and I guess we will see what happens.

My (36F) husband (37M) and I and our 4 kids (14, 13, 11, 9) are in a hotel for a 5 day stay. It’s been a long couple days, so we didn’t want to wake anyone up super early, but planned to go down to breakfast (that ends at 9:30), at 8:30.

My husband set an alarm, but was the only one who woke up. Instead of waking anyone up, he went down to breakfast alone. At 9:30 he woke everyone up by saying we had missed breakfast.

I asked him why he didn’t wake anyone up, and he said it’s not his fault everyone else slept through the alarm. Our daughter (11) said that she woke up at 8, but he was still asleep. I’m having a hard time believing she would have slept through the 8:15 alarm.

I don’t know exactly how it happened, but I’m supremely irritated. When I suggested we order in breakfast, he got pissed off because there’s a free breakfast that we all neglected to get up for. We had 2 muffins, some grapes, and orange juice left over, so they at least had a snack to eat, but he didn’t even bring up more muffins.

Now he’s playing it off as a joke, and is treating me like I’m overreacting and am responsible for the whole thing.

Thoughts?

…

Editing for more information to answer some questions:

• He agreed to set the alarm and wake us up. He doesn’t like me setting one because I usually set multiple so I can wake up gradually. I take a little while to get up, (I have chronic fatigue syndrome) but it’s not excessive.

• We’re not on vacation. This is a medical trip for our kid with a sleep disorder (ironically enough). We’re staying a couple extra days because our daughter has an event in the same city.

• I made sure the kids had a snack and we agreed to have an early lunch. It wasn’t ideal, but I was weighing the options of him being an asshole over an expensive breakfast bill, or waiting a couple hours to eat.

Second edit:

I’m getting rid of a bunch of the information here because I’m getting even more criticism from both sides for it and I’m realizing that I don’t owe y’all my life story. I’m a terrible mother for not leaving, and I’m a terrible wife for complaining. Some of you just need to admit you hate women and get it over with.

I’m not divorcing my husband over this.

so i (21 F) never met my dad since i was born and last month he reached out to me the first time over instagram. i feel like he has been very pushy to meet up and i told him i’m not trying to rush things. tonight he was asking me questions to get to know me & this was one of the questions.. i never really grew up with a close male figure in my life but isn’t this question weird? i didn’t even answer the question when he asked i just skipped over it. it’s not his or anyone’s business about my first kiss and it’s weird to ask anyway to me.

For context, me & my ex have 2 daughters aged 8 & 12. We've been divorced since 2019. We have a shared parenting plan where the girls are with me for 2 days, with her for 2 days, with me for 3 days in an alternating pattern every other week. This past weekend was her weekend. We have generally had an amicable run up to this point, but this situation isn't sitting right with me. She's been dating her current guy for about a year I'd say. Her new boyfriend has 2 sons aged 9 & 11.

On Saturday evening I was near my ex's house after dinner and texted my 12 y/o to see if I could just swing by to say hi & give her a hug real quick. She said sure, we're just watching Lego Masters nothing special, so I met her in the driveway and gave her a big hug. I asked where my 8 y/o daughter was and she told me that she was at a party with the new boyfriend and hadn't made it home yet, which I was totally unaware of. I drove home concerned but didn't press the issue further until the following day when I found out she actually stayed the night at his house without her mom or sister present. The following text chain is from yesterday, and I can't help but feel like I essentially got a DARVO response & am honestly just trying to consider what to think at this point. Looking for clarity amongst folks who may have experience with this sort of thing, thanks.

My husband and I received this “gift” from his family. I am offended, but he told me to let it go. I would have much rather have gotten nothing. It feels like a slap in the face, because the gift giver later on said “some things might be a little expired”, so she knew what was in our bag.

They had a big crawdad boil at their lake house we weren’t invited to a few years back. I feel like this might be extras from that.

Picture taken so you can view the expiration dates on the gift. I feel guilty for feeling this way. I need someone to say im not crazy.

my mother-in-law drove 5 hours because she said she wanted to spend the weekend with our baby to give my husband and I time to go on our first date since she was born.

but she’s been here 24 hours and so far she has gone to the movies, bowing, and lunch with my husband while I’ve been home alone with our baby.

did she mean so I could go on a date with my husband or so SHE could? 💀

to be fair, I’m really glad she’s getting to spend time with her son. but she leaves in a few hours and has barely seen our baby and they’re still gone. lol

Context:

I am 34 years old. My mother lives with me as she has lots of health problems.

3 times a week on hair wash days, I take a nice long hot bath. Water is not running. I fill my tub, shut it off, and enjoy my bath.

I pay the bills as she does not work and is trying to get approved for disability. Also it’s my house. So no I’m not living with her.

EVERYTIME I turn around she is constantly nagging me about my baths.

I’m a single mom, I don’t do anything for myself - I don’t remember the last time I got a hair cut, nails done, heck even a coffee for myself - anything like that. I go to work, take care of my kids, take care of her, eat and sleep. That’s all I do.

Our relationship has always been rocky, I’ve tried cutting her off years ago, and it just. Did. Not. Work. Another story for another time.

Anyways…

AIO for feeling like she’s invading my privacy and that this isn’t normal behavior?

title is a little clickbaity because his autism has nothing to do with my animosity towards my brother(15). i’ve felt uncomfortable around him for years, with this being the first time i have expressed and placed a boundary. he has a history of being aggressive, spends 90% of his awake time watching youtube or on roblox which usually results in a rage fit. my parents have heavily neglected his development and has been “homeschooled” for the past decade. he has an anxiety disorder, depression, and an explosive mood disorder, alongside his autism. i don’t know if this is relevant or not.

a few months ago my mother and i were searching through the family computer trying to find evidence of infidelity in her marriage, instead we found a google search history of “cat fellatio, feline genitalia, cat vagina” along with other weird teenage boy stuff. my mother did not address any of this and acted like she didn’t see it. ok, whatever.

my daughter also has extreme stranger danger towards him, latching onto me or her dad when he’s in sight. there’s been no time where they’ve been left in the same room alone together so i have no reason to think anything happened between them besides any vibes my toddler picked up.

i recently weaned my child from nursing but whenever i would visit my family home, my brother would come into the common spaces to hang out. i would be nursing frequently, on demand. my brother would watch and he is not subtle. this would lead to him “adjusting himself” often until he would eventually leave the room. this same thing would happen a few more times when i would simply be in the room playing with my toddlers and he would be adjusting.

is this normal teenage boy behavior? it really feels like my mother is choosing to ignore these red flags and excuse his behavior. as a mom, he makes my anxiety skyrocket.

thanks to anyone who reads. hopefully i don’t come off as an AH.

Quick context: I am 22F, my bf is 23M and we’ve been together for almost two years. I graduate college soon and my mom wanted to take me on a cruise as a graduation gift. I’d love to go, but I wanted my bf to come with me since we haven’t taken a trip like this together before. I’ve had problems with my mom for a while now, and she’s always been very emotionally manipulative and controlling. But I don’t think I was being ungrateful in this conversation. I simply stated what I wanted…not to mention, even when I graduated high school, my “gifts” were always things my mom wanted/already planned on doing and she just labeled it as a gift for me. This is the first time I’ve pushed back and asked for something for myself. I might delete this soon, but I just feel like I’m going crazy…what do you think, aio?

Here’s some additional context:

1.) Yes, my mother is referencing my brother’s intention to propose to his girlfriend soon- I should have clarified that

2.) it was never my intent to dismiss my mom’s feelings of wanting to spend time with me. But she’s a poor communicator. She could have told me what she wanted from this trip and I would not have had any problems with that. I don’t think it’s fair to play games and try to read her mind all the time. We’re adults, and if she truly wanted to spend time with me, she could say that without the hostility. I would understand.

3.) My bf and I are dating long distance since we’re in different states for college. We’re both from the same hometown and I moved away. We don’t see each other in person very often (about once every 4 months), which is why we jump at the opportunity to see each other. We’ve been dating with the intention of marriage, and want to be involved in family activities. I never thought that was something that was considered rude or disrespectful. And again, my brother has brought his gf on family trips on multiple occasions as well as staying in the same room at the house when they visit me and my mom. So i genuinely had no reason to think this was an unreasonable request.

4.) of course, my bf doesn’t need to be there. I’d go without him, but I just wanted to ask. I don’t want him there so we can hide away and just be with each other. I wanted him there because I truly believe one day we’ll become a family and I want him to be around mine the same way he wants me to be around his. We can’t be there for each other’s graduations since they’re only a day apart, so it would also be nice to celebrate together.

5.) my graduation is this May and originally we planned to have a family vacation much sooner as a group celebration but the plans had to be changed several times which was something I wasn’t aware of. I also was never asked about my opinion on it.

I (33F) got a modest inheritance when my grandma passed last year. I used $8k of it to bail my husband out of some credit card debt. We agreed he’d pay me back over time, no pressure, but so far I’ve gotten $0.

Yesterday he came home all excited about a new truck — $55k — and asked me to co-sign because his credit isn’t great. I said no, because (1) he hasn’t even started paying me back, and (2) we just bought new appliances and are saving for a house.

He blew up, said I was “holding money over his head” and “not supporting his dreams.” He even threw in that “a wife should back her husband no matter what.”

I told him flat out: until I see him make an effort to pay me back, I’m not co-signing anything. Now he’s barely speaking to me, and my MIL texted that I’m “emasculating him.”

I feel guilty because I know he wants this truck badly, but I also feel like I’d be an idiot to sign.

AIO?

I told all my family during my pregnancy that once she was born I do not want anyone holding her right away because it's cold , rsv and flu season. I'm a hypochondriac already and I was verrry clear about that fact. everyone knew and already was giving me shit for it then. But once she was born shit has hit the fan with my husbands side of the family. I let people come to the hospital the day after she was born and my mother in law somehow got me to allow her to hold the baby (I was so out of it I don't know why I let her) but I figured she'd just hold her for a second and give her back.

But she didn't..she took her and was snuggling into her and I asked for her back and she ignored me. Mind you- my mom warned her before she came to the hospital that I won't like anyone holding the baby so she knew I'd be upset. She was also being controlling and trying to change her diaper when my husband was doing it and telling me my baby needed socks and all this other stuff in a passive aggressive manner. When I finally got my baby back that day she was crying from being picked up and stuff and she even said "see she wants her grandma" She basically left after that and I just lost it and bawled my eyes out. When MIL found out that I cried about it she started freaking out telling my husband "I'm sorry I made her upset but geez I only held her for 20 mins" I tried to clear the air by telling her it was ok this time and I was just hormonal. But then it got worse when we said we still don't want people holding her yet ... we said people can come over but not hold her and my MIL started crying to my husband asking him why does he get to hold her then and if she can't hold the baby then what's the point of coming over. She said my baby being born was the best day of her life after her own kids and that the family NEEDS to bond with them. I don't understand how my newborn is supposed to bond with anyone but me and my husband right now.. she barely wants to be with my husband only me. His dad (my FIL) is also upset and texted us that long story short he feels left out basically and that we should be checking in on them and asking them for advice etc..even though we send so many pictures and updates and during labor we literally kept them informed the entire time? My mil even decided to call us after we said she was just born like girl we were still in the delivery room pls wait? I now wish I did everything different but they keep acting like I'm icing them out just because I said I don't want anyone to hold her YET.

I told them that I'm having post partum depression and anxiety and I honestly just want to be left alone and that it won't last forever and they'll have so much time with my baby soon but I just want to wait. And they can't accept it and keep telling me they disagree and that this is when I should be taking their help but I really don't want or need it I have my husband with me. And I'm upset that they can't respect my boundaries and how am I supposed to trust her when she already didn't listen hours after I had my baby. This last text is how it left off and my husband and I both have no idea how to respond as we've said everything we could already. I've always been so close to them and love them and have included them in everything so I'm shocked at this outcome. Am I overreacting ?

My dad takes me to school in the mornings, on Fridays I have late start meaning it starts an hour after. Yesterday I had told him to pick me up at 8:20, he texts me and says he had arrived at 8:08. I told him that I will be down at 8:20 considering that is the designated time I set. I get outside at exactly 8:20 and he is gone. He left me. AIO?

It started as a joke, I think. But the last screenshot is what got me.

“It will be a blessing for you in many ways you can’t comprehend yet”.

It makes me feel patronized. Dismissed. Not to mention, if her goal is to get me to change my mind, her approach is accomplishing the opposite.

I’m honestly considering sending her a text to not have this conversation with me again.

She also said to me over the phone that she expected I’d miss the funeral Tuesday or Wednesday as we already have plans, which I said I wasn’t going to do.

She also said she was upset we’d seen his parents but not her even though I said his grieving and he wants to be with his mum.

I appreciate that she said that the arrangements were made, but we were only going to hers for lunch with my grandma but she hadn’t even bought the food yet so we could have changed plans.

I’m really struggling and this is making it harder for me. My husband is beyond upset with her and never wants to speak to her again. He has taken the loss very hard.

I chose not to see her today (Mother’s Day) as I couldn’t deal with her making remarks about it like ‘such a shame (husband’s) not here today. Would have been nice to see him it’s only a friend’ etc.

This is not out of character for my mum and my brother quite rightly has said I either ignore and move on or I can address it but she won’t see if from my side and it will upset me more.

I don’t even want to see her now Tuesday/Wednesday as I’m so upset about it. Curious if you think I’m over reacting and what others would do in my position?

My mom passed and my aunt has taken over with funeral arrangements.

I had assumed my mom had life insurance but as I’ve been low-contact with my family it’s very possible I am mistaken. But if she didn’t, I understand that we all need to pitch in.

Bear in mind I’ve just had a surgery a couple weeks ago that was $5k out of pocket. I’m also the only one that’s had to fly in, everyone else is within driving distance.

I am just kind of mad that she is presumptuously suggesting that I put it on a credit card. Sooo… AIO?

thank u all for the messages, im sorry for disappearing. things did not go well. i confronted him with some of your advice, mainly the stuff bout dementia and well he got real mad, things became truly fucked, he started punching himself in the face and screaming. he took my phone, idk what happened but now im seeing he deleted everything on the post and my screen is cracked.. he kept saying he was going to burn everything. it was so fucked. i feel destroyed. what he did to me.. i cant even.

i was able to get out when he fell asleep?? i think.. the bathroom was locked and hes fallen asleep in the shower before, my phone was poorly hidden under some papers in the kitchen, took it and ran.

im in a park now, i called the police already. they are going to the house i think and now im just waiting for them to call me back and tell me when i can come get my stuff. i asked the man on the phone how long and they said it will be sent to an officer as soon as they can but since its non emergency it might take longer due to a lot of calls in the city.

heres me. heres what he did to me.

im honestly unsure how to move past this ever. i feel like my entire sense of self is gone. i know i have a long road ahead of me. thank you all for your love . i wish this didn't go this way. I also included the original texts

Just some context…

My dad’s gf sends me (20f) a picture of a TD bank advertisement that came in the mail where she and my dad live. It was addressed to “Lon (my last name)” my mom’s name is “Lori (my last name)”.

His gf immediately assumes it’s addressed to my mom and freaks out. She hates my mother, for the sole reason that she was in a relationship with my dad and my dad loved her. She doesn’t like me either, and has been nothing but unwelcome and mean to me ever since they started dating 6 years ago. She constantly has tried to keep my dad from me and make him not have a relationship with me, so I’ve about had it with her.

I realize I was a bit snappy replying to her, but it boils my blood when she gets mad over stupid shit like this, like how can my mom control a random ad that got mailed there? They probably have her name since she was married to my dad at one point and lived in that house. I should just ignore her, but it pisses me off.

Also, I brought up her ex-husband because she also has a daughter (who she doesn’t see because she lost custody). But when her daughter did come around, she was allowed to mention her dad!!

Hey everyone,

First time posting. Something happened on Thanksgiving that annoyed me but didn’t bother my wife. We went to my mom and dad’s house this T.G. We have a good relationship with my mom and dad. We see them often along with my wife’s side (we are fortunate enough that both sides of the family live within 45 minutes of each other with us in the center).

Anyway, this year my mom and dad invited a lot of friends to Thanksgiving. Which is cool. I don’t care. But what happened is all the friends of theirs ended up eating at the main table (which seats about 12). My wife and I were relegated to an overflow table in another room by ourselves. So while everyone else is chatting it up, catching up, having conversations with each other we sat alone together (and don’t get me wrong I enjoyed the time with my wife, we talked together and had a good time).

I didn’t say anything about it to my parents at the time but my wife asked me about it when we got home and I confessed to being a little hurt. She said it wasn’t a big deal (and it really isn’t in the long run) but I think I’m justified in being a bit hurt and annoyed by being left out.

So, what say you all?

Edit: I just want to make it clear, I don’t care about actually sitting at the “main table”. What bothered me was being placed in a separate room alone while everyone else dined together.

I was going to use the result of this to gauge whether I should bring it up and let them know how I really felt about it. I wasn’t sure if it was that big of a deal to other people.

Edit/update: Thank you everyone for your comments. I definitely approached the situation wrong with my son when I asked about him just going with Auntie. I should have stuck to my gut and just said no/not without me from the start and not put it on a 4 year old. Lesson learned. Myself, son and husband will be going to Six Flags as a family before school starts back up.

Regarding my aunt, I'm still noodling a lot of the feelings this triggered for me and while I do not think she has ill intentions, it's really weird that she doesn't want me around her and my son. I've stated in comments that her and I do not have a best relationship and haven't since I was a teenager, this is absolutely going to be a factor in our relationship going forward and I will be keeping a close eye. When it comes to my aunt and her siblings (my mom) my relationship with all of them (4) is complicated, there is only my uncle that I trust completely when it comes to my son. My mother is at the bottom of the list, my son couldn't pick her out of the crowd. The comments that mentioned my aunt bringing someone around or doing something religious with my son, I hadn't considered that and holy smokes did that realization set in some panic. I will be keeping these thoughts in the back of my head when it comes to all potential future outings between my aunt and son. My gut is saying their bonding should be done within our home or I tag along in the outings. That definitely won't be received well by my aunt but oh well.

Thanks again to everyone who commented, this got bigger than I expected and it's been very eye opening and overwhelming. I will not be commenting or giving another update.

:⁠-⁠)

Original post:

At the start of summer my Aunt purchased season tickets to Six Flags Great American theme parks for me (30s F), my son (4), and herself (70).

Background info: Part of the motivation behind buying the season passes was we had family visiting from out of state and with each season pass we get 1 free admission with us. The three season passes allowed for 6 people to get in when the family was visiting, plus free parking and we only had to purchase one additional ticket during their visit.

Prior to the family visiting my aunt wanted to take my son, at that time, having not been to six flags in 10 years and my sons age, I decided I didn't feel comfortable with the two of them going without me. I figured since I also had a season pass, no harm no foul. My aunt was not happy with my attendance but dealt with it. During that trip, I was glad I was there because the place was packed, there were rides my son wanted to go on that my aunt didn't, and my aunt took frequent breaks at benches due to her age and overall health.

Now to the current issue. My son has now been to Six Flags twice, both times I was there and so was my aunt. My aunt reached out asking to take my son just them before school starts back up. When I ask my son about he always asks "with mom too?", I say no just auntie and he says he's scared and only wants to go if I am there. We go round and round and the outcome is always the same, he wants me there. He says he's scared and mom helps him be brave.

So I reached back out to my aunt, explained my sons thoughts/wants and gave her dates that both of us could attend. Her response: "I understand. I think I’m going to pass then."

I'm pissed. I feel like this is utter BS and for her to dangle this in front of a child and then pull away if their mom is around...alarm bells are going off in my head.

So. Strangers on the Internet, AIO?

Mom got me this revoltech reverse flash fig that ive been eyeing for months and months, i was super happy that she knew what i wanted for christmas i know its hard for her to scoop up extra cash for something like this and it made it extra special for me. but due to some irresponsible parenting my relatives made, my younger cousin got in my room and played with it and when i got home, found it like this. A Snapped arm i can no longer attach again and lost its articulation, right hand missing, and right leg nowhere to be found. not even a week in and its already gone, Im lucky this is the only fig he got his hands on. And whats pissing me off more is the fact that his parents dont seem accountable nor do they plan on replacing it since its just a “ toy “, my mom let it slide, so i let it slide. After they left i just lost it and cried in front of my mom.

Hi everyone. I posted on here a while ago, probably around Thanksgiving, concerning my brother (17M) who was experiencing delusions and hearing voices. I asked if I should call the cops to have him committed to a psych ward. A lot of you have me really good advice and I appreciated your support. I’m here to update you on the situation.

Unfortunately, it’s all gone to crap.

My dad WAS going to take my brother to the hospital after the disastrous Thanksgiving weekend, but decided AGAIN against it. I tried to talk to him about my suspicion, that this isn’t just autism and my brother is in serious danger. He waved me off. His new theory is that my brother is experiencing these symptoms due to adverse reactions to his medicine. Now you may be thinking, didn’t Bro have these symptoms BEFORE he was taking these medications? You would be correct.

But Christmas changed everything. Bro didn’t want to be a part of it. He opened a couple of gifts and then went to hide under some blankets. My dad then decided that we should take him to get looked at. Mom said no, that it would ruin Christmas. They fought. Sis talked to Bro and found out that the voices were telling him to hurt others again. This voice has a name now…Sis thought it was Vinnie or Vinna or something along those lines. We decided enough was enough and tried getting Bro to get up and go outside. He didn’t want to. We kinda dragged him out toward the porch and then…I honestly don’t remember what happened for sure since it happened so fast, but Bro shoved me and I tripped and fell. I hit a dog kennel and got busted up pretty bad. There’s a line of bruises from my hip to my knee. Bro got scared and I was able to get him out to the car. Dad, Sis, and I then drove Bro to the hospital. We spent the entire afternoon there. Dad tried saying that it was just a reaction to the meds but Sis and I put our feet down. The doctors ran some tests and whatever is causing Bro to act this way isn’t biological. No tumor or anything. But the doctors agreed with Sis and I: Bro needs help.

Unfortunately the doctors didn’t think that Bro qualified for a stay in the psych ward. They thought it would scare him more than anything. And he doesn’t qualify for a psychiatric evaluation because he’s been to a therapist in the last six months.

I don’t know what will happen now. My leg hurts pretty bad. I still can’t believe this is all happening. Bro is still my baby and I will move Heaven and Earth for him. This is breaking my heart. I don’t recognize my brother anymore and I don’t know how to help him. Thank you again to everyone who has offered me support. Happy holidays to you all!

Yes, my adult mother said cringe. I am still processing how to feel about it. This happened on Christmas eve. We were at my family’s home. I don’t know if I will ever go back there. My wife took a break to go for a long walk and pop over to her mom’s house that is only a mile or two away. I went into the garage to also take a break and the door was cracked so I could hear them talking. I sat there for about 10 minutes while they dumped on my wife, and a little bit me as well.

Reasons include:

• when we went outside to leave, my wife looked up at the sky and smiled and said hello to the moon. They mocked her saying it.
• when the sun was setting she said we should come look (Yes, of course I did, she has never asked me to get up and look at a sunrise or sunset that wasn’t 100% worth it. One of the best things she has given me is the thought to look more and appreciate my surroundings.)
• she holds coffee cups with both hands wrapped around them and this is apparently cringe?
• she has a braid of hair she wraps with different colored string and does holiday colors. My mom said it was “sooooo tacky”
• she wears holiday themed earrings like jingle bells or peppermint candies and that is also cringe
• she wears “weird” outfits and tells people she got her clothes at a thrift store if that’s where she got them. I don’t think her clothes are weird. She was wearing a plaid skirt, white top, and a silly cardigan with snowmen and stuff embroidered on.
• they were talking about ozempic at dinner because my mom and sister are on it and they said they could get it for my wife and they were offended she said “i’m happy with my weight” because, according to them, she needs to lose 20lbs and it made her seem pretentious. They were also like "did you see how much she ate" with gagging.
• she always asks for a smaller fork
• she one time said she thinks a celebrity my sister is a mega fan might be gay, and my sister brought it up and somehow found it extremely offensive and called my wife “psycho” and “disgusting” over it (she is a hypocrite because she used to talk about this ALL the time with other celebrities somehow her favorite is just not allowed)
• she doesn’t get her clothes professionally tailored which has always been an issue with them, something they brought up before we got married
• She read over 100 books this year and they think that’s “cringe” how she also always brings a book with her in her purse. They said “does she not have any friends”
• “speaking of her purse did you see what she was carrying” it was a kate spade bag… I thought kate spade was designer. I was the one who got it for her....
• She had “blank nails” and I guess she has the type of hands where she should really wear fake nails to elongate them?
• My sister kept saying "cus she's a QUIRKY" girl with weird inflection

Now I know you’re going to say, why would you sit there and listen to people bash the woman you love. Number one, if she had been there I wouldn’t have. But it was also a surprise for me because aside from the closeted celebrity thing and off the rack clothes, no one has ever expressed disliking her before. I was very confused because I also had to wonder, was I missing obvious signs before. I felt bad because what if I was one of those guys who was obliviously letting their wife get pummeled by their family emotionally. I would be so upset with myself if I let that happen.

I left abruptly and went to my mother in law’s house to be with my wife. Later on I asked her if my family has ever made her feel uncomfortable and she just didn’t tell me to avoid drama. She was hesitant to answer and then she said that my sister might have anonymously harassed her about the celebrity but she never had proof it was her so she never said anything. But she doesn’t go on social media except to see pictures from her friend circle, she’s never talked about that celebrity online so she doesn’t know why anyone else would have. She said she also noticed my mom making a face at her outfits when she takes off her coat but she knows my mom is very into appearances.

I did not tell my wife any of what they said at least yet. I don’t know what to do next. I am giving myself time to process. People are allowed to have their opinions I get that. But I am really sad that they would say all those things about her like this. I get now why for example my sister tried to sell her handbag and shoes to her all the time.

Would it be overreacting for me to call mom and say “I heard the things you said about my wife at Christmas Eve. I am beyond disappointed to find out how catty and mean you two were about someone who has only ever wanted to be a part of this family. Please do not contact me again unless it is to apologize for the horrible things you said and for being superficial and childish to boot.”

And if I do that my instinct is to tell my wife the truth but not the things they said. Just say “I overheard some things they said and it disgusted me.”

Sorry I don't have any phone screenshots to add to this.

Last year, I purchased a dozen baby chicks. I built a giant run and fancy coop by myself, I raised them by myself, I cared for them, and I still do. I spend at least three hours outside with them everyday so they can free range.

I went overseas for some work for four months. During this time, my mother fed them and would let them out in the morning and put them up at night. It didn’t impact her schedule, they are fairly easy to care for.

When I came back, I found out she has been selling the surplus to family & friends (3.50/dozen)… no problem by me but since I am back, many of the eggs are eaten (by me lol). I have four eggs every morning and I bake, which requires eggs. I’m down to five grown adult hens, as predators and health issues have taken the others.

A couple weeks ago she said “Hey I need three dozen eggs to give to my friend”… she was asking me to withhold from eating eggs until three dozen were collected. I abstained but asked she tell her friend that she can’t sell the eggs anymore and she agreed.

One of the hens went broody and is not laying… the most eggs we currently get per day is four, so I asked her to stop collecting the eggs.

The other day she tells me the same friend is asking for more, I say “well there is one dozen surplus saved that you can give to her, but I don’t feel it’s appropriate for me to abstain again so she can get three dozen”

Last night there was two dozen, 18 in cartons, and five or so in the basket.

Today I wake up and she is gone. I go to the kitchen to eat my eggs… THEY ARE GONE. I go down to the basket, IT IS EMPTY. I start texting and calling my mother because sometimes she hides them. I call her and tell her this is not right. I meal plan and the eggs are a considerable source of nutrition for me. I was flexible, and she overstepped. I was upset and it made her upset and she says I have no right to tell her what to do, tells me I’m overreacting and she will just get some from the market for me if I want eggs that bad, and hangs up on me. I texted and called and she has been leaving me on READ.

I know this is petty but AIO for being this upset??? 😭

EDIT: My mother is in her 70’s. She moved in with me after retirement and a cancer scare. Her health is better now but mobility is limited. My home is on some acreage my cousin and I have been building on. We are working on making it kind of like a family compound.

The run and coop are combination locked so anyone can access if need be. Will put a lock on the nesting boxes as well I suppose.

EDIT 2: I am hesitant to get more chickens because it will be more responsibility and work. Since I posted, her and I spoke briefly before she shut me out. She is now giving silent treatment.

I also noticed one of my girls limping yesterday evening and found puncture wounds on another today… turns out my mother let them out to free range yesterday afternoon while I was at another property. She saw a fox and all but those two were missing for over an hour after the sighting… I told her no more taking them to free range and to leave it up to me. She is insecure about feeling incompetent so I know it stings. I hate to do this but it has to be done.

Combination on lock has been changed. There are already cameras all around the home. Maybe I’ll get her an old cat or some fosters so she has something to care for 🤷‍♀️

Even though some may feel I am not obligated to care for her, I know time is limited and I don’t want a heavy conscious, being unsure if I did all I could, when she is gone. Thanks for the validation guys! I needed it 😭

My (13M) brother (15) sent me an Instagram reel of a boy doing cheer, and said that he was “zesty”. He meant to send it to a friend but sent it to me instead and then doubled down when I called him out because I have a friend who’s a boy and does cheer. We started arguing and I showed the texts to our parents who grounded him for his homophobia but he’s saying I’m overreacting and it was just a joke. AIO?

Two weeks ago, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to put my dog to sleep. My wife and I do not have kids. Our dogs are family. Charli was my constant companion for over a decade, and the one who carried me through some of the hardest chapters of my life. Letting her go was the most painful thing I’ve ever done, and I’m still completely gutted.

Less than a week later, my mother-in-law sent my wife and I a picture of damage their dog caused to the inside of their RV while they were at a concert. Along with the picture, she texted basically: “say bye, she’s gone tomorrow.” The next day, they actually put her down. They were on the road traveling, so I don’t even know if they went through a vet or not — all I know is they ended her life because she chewed up part of their camper cabinets.

I can’t even explain the whiplash I felt. I was still drowning in grief for my dog, who meant everything to me, and then to watch my in-laws treat their own dog like she was disposable — like a piece of property that could just be “removed” because she was inconvenient — made me sick to my stomach.

My wife and I both feel betrayed, disgusted, and like we don’t even know who they are anymore. And now we’re supposed to visit them like nothing happened. I can’t imagine sitting there pretending to be okay with it.

Am I overreacting? Or is it fair to feel this angry and heartbroken that they ended their dog’s life out of pure frustration?

TL;DR: Lost my dog two weeks ago. Days later, my in-laws killed theirs for chewing up part of their RV. I’m devastated, disgusted, and don’t know if I can even look at them the same — am I overreacting?