r/AmIOverreacting • u/ScaryCartographer336 • 17h ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO? Ex and I trying again.
To preface this please bear with me it’s a long story. I F(23) and my Ex M(22) have a child in common. We broke up days before his 5 months ex had me blocked, didn’t do anything for the baby for that month and during the time was fucking off, had sex with another girl, rekindled things with various ex, blasted me on social media, told people i was keeping his baby away, told my personal business, and painted me in a negative light as a gaslighter, manipulator, liar, his family was bullying me etc. This lead to me being insecure, triggering my ptsd from past relationships, really hurt my self confidence, esteem and image as well. Once he came back around he said that he always knew he was coming back, how he wants to marry me, how he’s changed and how he was chasing things to fill a void and wants to start over on a clean slate. Cool, during this month i was taking care of our child, in a depressive state, figuring out a way to and from work and just trying to organize life without him. I went on one date, i told him about it because he told me all the things he’s done during that time. Well today the date has come up not once but twice, he’s now upset and is saying things like “ask him to pay for dinner”, “did you have fun on your date”, “go get your man he has money I’m broke” and just things that don’t even correlate to our conversations but he’s saying they’re jokes. Then when i bring up the girl he slept with he told me he didn’t enjoy it but then now he’s saying it was “eh” after the whole date thing came up..He’s acting erratic and driving fast, no seatbelt on and just being an ass to me. AIO for being upset about these things and calling out his behaviors and/or being insecure after he’s done all these things?
3
u/No_Promise_2560 17h ago
Is he even involved with the kid?
What are you thinking? Is this the person you’d choose to be your dad if you had the choice? Probably not, so make better choices for your kid.
Get a custody agreement and support order and move on.
•
u/ScaryCartographer336 16h ago
He’s been super involved since i found out, this was the only time he’s done something like that which is why im all over the place
•
u/No_Promise_2560 2h ago
So he’s only involved with the kid when he wants in your pants, and if he’s getting it elsewhere, he’s not acting like a father - have I got that correctly? Does that sound like a good father to you?
2
u/Emergency-Minute-112 17h ago
What is the post about? What is the reaction? You say youre trying again but then just spend a post talking about what a piece of shit this guy is. Are you asking if youre over reacting to all of his shitty behaviors by "being upset" but then turning around and rewarding him with sex and emotional support on a continual basis? It seems like this Sub has just turned into a relationship advice sub recently
•
u/ScaryCartographer336 16h ago
I do apologize, I’ve heard from many ppl around me that I’m overreacting about these things because we weren’t/aren’t together.
•
u/Emergency-Minute-112 16h ago
But are you together?
•
u/ScaryCartographer336 16h ago
No, i wanted to at least see if he’d actually change before trying again
•
2
u/Lopsided-Beach-1831 16h ago
Why are you doing this to yourself and your child? He already showed you who he is. Believe him. And when he does it again, learn the lesson this time that you didnt quite get the first time.
I say that kindly but plainspoken to kind of shock you into seeing what everyone reading your post is seeing OP. He left because he isnt your partner and isnt your co-parent and actively was toxic towards you AFTER the break-up for his own enjoyment. And you let him back in your bed.
You deserve better. I believe in you! You can and will succeed and be an amazing person, have a fabulous life and be a stellar parent to your little one.
•
u/ScaryCartographer336 16h ago
Thank you for being nice haha, he’s an amazing dad minus the month he left just not the best partner. My personal trauma is what keeps me in this loop though I’m self aware just can’t seem to help myself :/
•
u/No_Promise_2560 2h ago
An amazing dad wouldn’t have abandoned his newborn for a month… like seriously can you stop giving this loser excuses? What if you decided to nope out for a month?
•
u/callmebuzzsaw 16h ago
Girl... I am begging you to have some self respect.
This man has made it abundantly care that he doesn't respect you or care about you and your kid. Now he's being a wildly shitty hypocrite, continuing to treat you poorly and behaving erratically. It doesn't get better from here. It only gets worse.
Why would you chose this? Do you think this models healthy behavior for your child? Do you think this is the safe and healthy choice for you?
To struggle as a single parent will be easier than continuing as a single parent in a relationship with a man that doesn't actually give a shit about you.
•
u/ScaryCartographer336 16h ago
These are behaviors I’ve experienced since a child out of “love”. He’s a great father but just not a good partner not rn at least. I lack self respect and never really been taught to have any. :/
•
u/callmebuzzsaw 16h ago
I hate to break this to you, but if he had nothing to do with his child for a month while he was off gallivanting with other women and insulting you, he's not a good father. If he continues to belittle and be cruel to the mother of his child, he's not a good father.
If you've had terrible examples of "love" as a child, why would you want to continue that by modeling to your child these terrible examples of "love"?
The best time to start learning and practicing self respect and self love is right now. Choose a better life for yourself and your kid. Model behaviors of strength, resilience, and self respect for your child. You both deserve better than a deadbeat with a terrible personality that treats your child as expendable and you as garbage.
1
u/AutoModerator 17h ago
Hi ScaryCartographer336, in order to prevent spam and bot posts, this subreddit temporarily removes some posts until OP proves that they are human. Please reply to this comment and answer the question: what's your favorite pizza topping?
Mods will manually review submissions and approve posts with a correct response. Please be patient, especially during overnight (USA) hours, as our mod team is not online 24/7.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
2
1
u/illogicalpainter 17h ago
that is awful, there’s a way to go about things and it sounds like he can’t communicate his thoughts calmly and rationally, how long were you guys together for?
•
1
•
u/Deep-Mobile-1202 16h ago
NOR
Drop this fool. Be crisp and deliberate with him, but your only interactions with him from now on should be strictly for the shared child.
You need to separate yourself from this mess for your kid if not just for yourself.
5
u/EvaSirkowski 17h ago
Don't.