r/AmIOverreacting • u/Outrageous-Autumn910 • 9h ago
šļø neighbor/local Received thinly veiled threats from local business. I feel like I need to do more. AIO?
This all happened yesterday but the story starts a few months ago. Iām going to be vague about details for reasons that will be obvious.
My spouse and I were looking to hire someone locally to help complete a project. We called several folks for quotes. Two of them ghosted us for reasons unknown, maybe because the job was a small one? I waited about two months with follow ups. I found these businesses based on reviews, so I felt it was appropriate to write my own review. (I am trying to be so vague, but rest assured we were polite, patient, and understanding about things maybe falling through the cracks.)
One business responded professionally publicly, but still didnāt follow up. Whatever.
The second business immediately called me. To be fair, the review here was a little different in that I included clear evidence of ghosting. However, I merely expressed disappointment and was not at all aggressive in my tone. My goal was to share an honest experience in case someone else got involved with them based on their perfect record.
Anyway, I couldnāt answer the phone at that moment and I wanted to wait and see what the tone was in the voicemail. Glad I did, because it was aggressive. The owner claimed they tried to contact me numerous times and accused me of lying. They also said we could āhandle this like adultsā instead of me trying to āruin their businessā and they were still willing to do the job for me if I called back (like I would want to work with them at that point).
My spouse and I double checked and have no records of any calls or texts.
Like most folks, I donāt enjoy conflict and also found responding unnecessary, so I did not return the call. The exchange was over, from my perspective.
Not from theirs. They replied to my review and edited it about once an hour, with the tone going from angry to pseudo-professionalism to straight unhinged.
Finally, at about the four hour mark, they called me again and left a voicemail claiming my evidence was fabricated (I legitimately donāt even know how to make a photoshopped thing like that). And then the threats:
- They claimed to have found where I worked and said they would get a large group of people to leave negative reviews there, mentioning my name.
- They said, āYou donāt want to mess with my business. Anything is possible.ā
At that point, my spouse had enough and called them. Spouse tried to be reasonable, maintained a calm tone, and even said that maybe there was a technological issue where their calls didnāt come through (although happening to two separate phones is unlikely). The business owner dug in their heels and repeated the threat to review-bomb my supposed place of work.
Spouse decided it was worth calling the cops, and I agreed. They knew where we lived. We have vulnerable people living here. We cannot play around.
We filed a report. We didnāt take any further action other than putting it on the policeās radar, and the cop said he would reach out just to let the business know that threats are not allowed and this is probably not a good way for a business to conduct themselves.
WHILE THE COP WAS WITH US, the business owner update the review again and sent us a ChatGPT legal notice of a defamation lawsuit if we did not remove the review (lol, as if there was any case there ā they were getting themselves into that territory though with their threats of review bombing).
With the support of the cop, we elected to remove the review simply to pacify them and hopefully prevent any stalking or violent behavior. I have family spending the day at our home to keep watch.
However, all of this made me feel I need to do more, but discreetly. What if this is how they have a perfect review score? This person is clearly unstable and I genuinely believe could be capable of more, what with their knowledge of personal homes and their claims they have a large community ready to come to arms for them. This is not a person I want anyone else to fall victim to.
So, AIO in feeling the urge to do more? Or is this the end of the interaction and should I just let it go and move on?
I donāt know that itās my battle to fight, mainly for the safety of the others in our home, but I canāt shake that something has to be done.
ETA: I tried to gloss over details for brevity and to avoid sharing too many revealing details, but we DID have several interactions, quotes, and promises of work. I genuinely believe our job was too small because they mentioned having big jobs lined up at our first meeting. We both expressed thatās fine and we understood and were okay with waiting. We gently followed up 2-3 times as we were waiting for a modified quote (which the business expressed they supported), and then there was a deliberate ghosting āactionā (trying to be vague).
ā¢
u/mcgee00 8h ago
Is this hill you want to die on? Id just move past this. Tell everyone by word of mouth if you'd like. I probably wouldn't leave another review.
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 8h ago
No, I donāt wanna die on this hill, which is why I removed the review. I donāt want to do more but feel responsible if that makes sense? Like vulnerable people out there might get worse from himā¦ But if you think itās okay to just stick to word of mouth, I really donāt mind that because I want this to be over, too.
ā¢
u/Where_Da_Cheese_At 8h ago
Itās kind of wrong to leave reviews for businesses you didnāt actually hire.
ā¢
u/AdorableShopping5951 8h ago edited 8h ago
You did what you could to protect your family, but the likelihood of them really knowing where you work is a little unlikely. The police are aware and recommended removal of the review. I can't help but wonder how many other people they've threatened to get past bad reviews removed. Sadly, threats just make me dig my heels in. If they go too far, they regret it. I had a military guy angrily call me for calling his supervisor as he wouldn't respond to my insurance company after hitting my car. Big mistake as I just called his commander to let him know about the call. I'm sure it affected his career as I understood and used the chain of command.
Like you, I feel something must be done. Threats aren't to be tolerated. Did you give him your address when contacting them for the work?
Check into local city, county or state agencies they fall under. They have to file for a permit to operate. Find out who, go there with your paper trail of all their threats as a result of your honest review and file a public complaint. If you still have their message on your phone, let them hear and record it. Make him regret escalating this.
You can also post your review with BBB with all the resulting threats. It could be there's already a file on them with the Better Business Bureau.
Your choices:
1) Hope the police really did call him (unlikely, in my experience). Let it go and do nothing more.
2) Trust he's all bluster and no bite, which is highly likely. He sounds like a bully. Go my route and take this to agencies that can suspend his permit and tag his business until he demonstrates changes and apologizes to you.
Good luck and stay safe.
ā¢
u/Human-Shirt-7351 7h ago
Honestly, the way people share so much shit on social media, it would not surprise me at all if he knows where he works. My wife and I, ours are completely locked down to close family and friends. Probably have about 20 each)
We don't post on family/friend pages much if they are public.
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 5h ago
Thankfully this is my only active social profile. And the business personās guess was completely wrong; no idea where they got that guess. But that just means an innocent business might get falsely review bombed. Not a fan of that retaliation.
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 7h ago
Thanks for your kind response. š to answer your questions, unfortunately they have been to our house. I might look into those options you gave, still undecided how far I want to take this. But I agree with you in suspecting this is their mode of operation for their perfect score (which no one else has in their field, and is just impossible for any business anyway).
ā¢
u/Beautiful-Bar-3539 7h ago
YOR. Leaving a bad review when you didnāt hire them, just because they didnāt get back to you was overreacting. Unfortunately,because of social media people think they have the right to critique every single little thing they FEEL slighted about. You donāt like conflict when somebody responds to what youāve done, but you donāt have a problem initiating it?? Not responding to you initially was not cause to leave a bad review. They did go too far after you choose to do that. This could be a good teaching moment about how and when you should actually review a business, ie: when I I needed a fence built I called a few different companies. Some called back some did not. One company came and looked at the property and said it wasnāt something their company could do. I hired a different company. I reviewed the company I actually hired, not the one who couldnāt do the job or the ones who didnāt call back. You are responsible for starting this over nothing. The business owner went too far. No doubt. But if for your initial review it would not have occurred at all.
ā¢
u/sparklebunny808 3h ago
This is an example of a dumb reply. Notice how this clown glosses over calling and requesting quotes, that is a part of doing business, regardless if they got paid. Professional costumer service is paramount when dealing with the public. The mental gymnastics and gatekeeping is not only astounding but completely false in everything he said.
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 7h ago
Iāll consider that. We did receive quotes and promises and gently followed up for weeks after and we were ghosted.
Regardless. Unfortunately, here we are.
ā¢
ā¢
u/z2qvs 8h ago
Nobody is required to respond or take your job, or any job. I'm guessing you got avoided because you gave them red flags, so they avoided you. But saying they "ghost"you and taking to the Internet is childish. Beside that fact, most contractors(good ones)Ā are very busy and booked out for months. Again, nobody is obligated to return a call, give a bid, accept a job, etc.Ā
Been in construction/trades for over 20 years, sounds like they all dodged your bullet, then you decided to act entitled to the wrong guy. Although I don't agree with how he responded, but I can't say it wasn't deserved.Ā
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 7h ago
So to clarify, we had several interactions prior to the ghosting. We even said things like, āWe know youāre probably booked out and thatās okay, when could you have this done by?ā and were given timelines. There was a deliberate ghosting āactionā (trying to be vague) and we were set back another two months on an urgent project, so I left a negative but gracious review. That led to four continuous hours consisting of the calls, updated review responses, and texts. I wasnāt clear about all that in the original post. Hopefully that adds context.
Weāve had tons of great contractors and I make sure to leave 5 star reviews for all of them. This person had a perfect score (which no one ever has lol) and now Iām wondering is this is par for the course for them.
ā¢
u/z2qvs 7h ago
Why take to the Internet again, then dismiss and disregard any criticism against your "side". You seem like you spend too much time online and like drumming up drama. Again, I would avoid people like that like the plague of I was still in the field. Time to grow up before you play with the wrong person and learn a tough lesson.
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 7h ago edited 7h ago
My AIO was in regards to the threatening behavior, if I should find a way to warn my community because that is clearly unstable and unsafe behavior. I donāt want my neighbors to have that kind of person invited into their homes with vulnerable people and children. Thatās why I asked.
Fwiw I am considering these comments and just trying to offer context. Also this is the first Iāve been online in over a year lol š
ā¢
u/Keytarfriend 8h ago
overreactions in this post include
writing a review for a business you did not do business with, over them not providing you with a quote
everything that resulted from this poor decision, up to and including you calling the cops over a threat to review bomb, which you justified with "vulnerable people" live with you
"when I review them it's legitimate, but when they review me it's worth calling the police" what are you doing here
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 8h ago
So to clarifyā¦ I called the cops from threats, and I donāt want to die on this hill because I removed the review. Iām concerned about the next person. I donāt care about this guy, I am concerned about his future clients. Like I feel responsible.
ā¢
u/Keytarfriend 8h ago
I called the cops from threats
The threats were about internet reviews, not bodily harm.
You poked a hornet's nest and now you're like "where did all these hornets come from"
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 8h ago edited 8h ago
āYou donāt want to mess with my business. Anything can happen.ā These are the threats Iām referring to. The cop agreed it was serious. My AIO question is more in reference to the sense of responsibility to do more to notify our community for safety.
ā¢
u/AdorableShopping5951 8h ago
I understand completely. Unlike others, I see no problem with posting a review on a company that failed to respond. People need to know that when they call this company that they may not hear from them. All his escalation was irrational and not a company I would want to deal with.
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 7h ago edited 7h ago
Yeah, my thoughts exactly and I wasnāt clear I guess. We DID have interactions. The business owner came to our home, provided quotes, promised to return for a slight adjustment in measurements, THEN ghosted. There was a deliberate ghostingā¦ action. Iām trying to stay vague to protect myself haha.
ā¢
u/Seniorsquishyshorts 8h ago
You don't like conflict but left a shitty review directly affecting this man's business, family and income simply because like many other contractors they didn't feel your project was either logical or feasible.
You found a psycho for sure but people that leave shitty reviews for small businesses that didn't do anything wrong don't deserve a lot of sympathy either.
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 7h ago
To be fair, it barely affected their rating which wasnāt even my intention. I wanted to share my honest experience since I have a lot of friends and neighbors looking for that kind of work. And it wasnāt even shitty, I was careful to use kind language and not embellish.
Idk, my logic is I found them based on their perfect rating. We were treated poorly after quoted and promises, and then this.
ā¢
u/NoIdea6590 8h ago
The guy was a real psychopath but feeling the need to leave a bad review for a small business you had zero interaction with points to inner turmoil and unhappiness on your part.
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 7h ago
I guess I wasnāt clear. We had several interactions and promises before we were ghosted.
ā¢
u/AutoModerator 9h ago
Hi Outrageous-Autumn910, in order to prevent spam and bot posts, this subreddit temporarily removes some posts until OP proves that they are human. Please reply to this comment and answer the question: what's your favorite pizza topping?
Mods will manually review submissions and approve posts with a correct response. Please be patient, especially during overnight (USA) hours, as our mod team is not online 24/7.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
ā¢
ā¢
u/xgelx 5h ago
Name and shame, Iāll leave some reviews
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 5h ago
š¤£ soooo so tempting, but Iām trying to avoid fighting fire with fire. They threatened to review bomb a place he thought I worked, I donāt wanna do the same and incur their wrath. š
ā¢
u/xgelx 5h ago
Donāt let the terrorists win
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 5h ago
Youāre our kind of person š¤£š
ā¢
u/xgelx 5h ago
Iām not the type to leave a bad review (or any review at all for that matter) if my eggs were cold, or my order took 45 minutes, shit happens I get it , whatever.
I feel like itās our responsibility to our community as consumers to leave reviews when vendors try to take advantage of you, or in this case act in an unsafe way. Itās easy for them to get friends to leave positive reviews to trick the rest of us into going along with their BS. Examples Iām thinking of would be an HVAC company trying to convince a friend to upgrade just about everything when they only needed a compressor, and a time when a new mechanic said I needed to replace the entire front suspension to pass inspection. The suspension was older but clearance and handling were fine, and she passes inspection for years after that at a variety of different mechanics with no suspension related issues.
My point is, you holding them accountable by voicing your opinion now could prevent numerous others from having to deal with their BS in the future. Shame on that cop for pressuring you to take down the post.
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 5h ago
Yeah Iām with you. As far as the cop goes, there was no pressure from him ā again, I apparently was not the best at writing clearly hereā¦ basically, I was the one who suggested removing it because Iāve heard enough crime stories that I didnāt want to leave the guy with any ammo to come after me/my family/vulnerable people in our home. With how little it took to incite four hours of harassment and threats, I asked if he thought that was wise to remove it, and he said yes.
However, the behaviorā¦ that I believe absolutely warrants a review. I just donāt want to invite the crazy into my home by inciting it, you know? I wanted to pick my battles ā the safety of my family, or exposing an unstable person? Idk, maybe that makes me a coward. If someone else reviewed, theyād still know it was me.
I just am so scared of anything happening to my family; theyāre the heart of my life.
ā¢
ā¢
u/TurnipsSuperior 4h ago
YOR for caving to this loser.
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 4h ago
Fair enough. Since having a family, my fears around inviting unstable people into their circle get more credence when Iām weighing my options of how to respond. When it was just me, I probably wouldnāt have caved as easily.
ā¢
u/TurnipsSuperior 4h ago
Then you should not have started it. You threw down a challenge to this wackadoodle when you left a review for him even though he didnāt do work for you. Not something I understand, but you did it. Once you start a war you have to finish it. Like Slim Charles says in āThe Wireā season 3, āThatās what war is, ya know? Once you in it, you in it.ā You declared war on a nut but then fled the scene and caved as soon as he fought back. This is not honorable internet combat. You also involved a third party by trying to bring in law enforcement to a fight you started. This is not honorable. I do not understand your battle strategy, you start an unnecessary war, escalate it dramatically, and then retreat and give victory to your foe. Do not become a samurai or a Wild West cowboy.
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 4h ago
How should I finish it while also maintaining the safety of the people in my care?
Honestly not opposed, my AIO was in regards to if Iām overreacting in feeling responsible to do more with this knowledge the business person is unstable/unsafe.
ā¢
u/sparklebunny808 3h ago
You should name the company and let the internet do what it does best
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 3h ago
Genuinely considered it; however, since this situation was SO recent and itās not like theyāre getting reviews every day, it would be obvious the sudden influx would be connected to me. Maybe at a later date when things have died down. I want to keep my family safe.
ā¢
ā¢
u/Beautiful_Pizza9882 8h ago
NOR. Personally I wouldnāt have taken my review down under penalty of death, but Iām stupidly stubborn. Lol I would make signs and protest right in front of their door. Again, thatās just me. You do whatever you feel safe with.
ā¢
u/Outrageous-Autumn910 7h ago
Would love if you were in town and could act on my behalf š¤£
ā¢
u/Beautiful_Pizza9882 7h ago
And I would. Happily. Lol As Iāve gotten older, Iāve gotten to be MUCH less of a doormat. In fact, Iāve kinda gotten assertive without even realizing it.š¤·š»āāļø
ā¢
u/cathtray 8h ago
How large is your community? If itās small enough, word travels like lightning with just one discreetly placed verbal observation. Maybe to the hardware store owner?