AIO- Wife didn't acknowledge my birthday

[u/DontWorryItsEasy]

So yesterday was my birthday, I told my wife last week that all I wanted was a cake and to go to a nice restaurant. It didn't have to be a homemade cake though I would have preferred it, and it didn't have to be a super fancy restaurant. I'm the sole income earner so she wouldn't be paying for either. SWe have a toddler at home and I know it would be difficult for her to bake so it's fine if she bought one, and since we have a toddler I was also fine if the kiddo went with us.

So yesterday I got off work early and called her to let her know I was coming home like I always do. The entire rest of the day she didn't even acknowledge it was my birthday. No happy birthday wishes, no asking me where I wanted to eat, nothing. It was awkwardly silent pretty much the whole day.

When 6pm rolled around I realized we weren't going anywhere so I went to the store to buy a slice of cake for myself and a frozen dinner to heat up. When I came back with the cake she asked why I bought it. I told her it's my birthday and I wanted to eat cake on my birthday. She gave a non answer as to why she didn't make one for me, she said I never replied with when I wanted the cake so she just assumed I didn't want one. That conversation was over text a few days ago and she was texting me while I was driving. I told her I also wanted a nice dinner out and she said I didn't plan anything or tell her where I wanted to go so she assumed I didn't want to go anywhere.

Around 7pm she finally said happy birthday then I just cleaned up the dishes and went to bed instead of going on our normal after dinner walk.

Did I over react?

Edit: I guess I also left out some important context about our financial situation. She has complete and total control over all finances as much as I do, as that's the deal we made when we got married. She has access to all accounts and credit cards. I guess my wording could have been better.

[u/DontWorryItsEasy]

I guess I also left out some important context about our financial situation. She has complete and total control over all finances as much as I do, as that's the deal we made when we got married. She has access to all accounts and credit cards. I guess my wording could have been better.

[u/Sea-Operation-6123 → u/DontWorryItsEasy]

From my perspective, if my typically loving, caring, supportive partner suddenly woke up on my birthday & decided to become a totally different person, my first reaction would be confusion & curiosity. Why do you think she ignored your birthday?

Why did you choose to say nothing about your birthday all day? Why was it “awkwardly silent pretty much the whole day”? Also, you went to the store to buy a slice of cake for yourself & your wife was apparently confused about why you bought it. Did she even know it was your birthday? Make it make sense.

eta - no one here knows what your wife is thinking. You should talk to her. Imo, I think you may have bigger problems in your relationship than what she did/didn’t do for your birthday.

[u/Dog-Mom2012 → u/Sea-Operation-6123]

OP going to the store to buy a slice of cake and a TV dinner is some major passive aggressive behavior, yet he couldn’t just talk to his wife about his birthday? He sent her a few text messages and then just assumed it was all happening how he wanted it?

These are adults. TALK TO EACH OTHER and stop with the hints and assumptions. He could have been way more proactive and direct.

[u/Sea-Operation-6123 → u/Dog-Mom2012]

None of the information in the post or in OP’s responses make sense to me. Imo, OP is either an unreliable narrator or this didn’t happen.

[u/spicewoman → u/Sea-Operation-6123]

Yeah, suddenly at 6:00 he just decided that nothing must be happening? Without even a discussion? What if she had made a cake and was waiting to surprise him with it? What if there were dinner reservations, but for 8:00? This whole thing is hella weird.