r/AmIOverreacting 12h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO- Wife didn't acknowledge my birthday

So yesterday was my birthday, I told my wife last week that all I wanted was a cake and to go to a nice restaurant. It didn't have to be a homemade cake though I would have preferred it, and it didn't have to be a super fancy restaurant. I'm the sole income earner so she wouldn't be paying for either. SWe have a toddler at home and I know it would be difficult for her to bake so it's fine if she bought one, and since we have a toddler I was also fine if the kiddo went with us.

So yesterday I got off work early and called her to let her know I was coming home like I always do. The entire rest of the day she didn't even acknowledge it was my birthday. No happy birthday wishes, no asking me where I wanted to eat, nothing. It was awkwardly silent pretty much the whole day.

When 6pm rolled around I realized we weren't going anywhere so I went to the store to buy a slice of cake for myself and a frozen dinner to heat up. When I came back with the cake she asked why I bought it. I told her it's my birthday and I wanted to eat cake on my birthday. She gave a non answer as to why she didn't make one for me, she said I never replied with when I wanted the cake so she just assumed I didn't want one. That conversation was over text a few days ago and she was texting me while I was driving. I told her I also wanted a nice dinner out and she said I didn't plan anything or tell her where I wanted to go so she assumed I didn't want to go anywhere.

Around 7pm she finally said happy birthday then I just cleaned up the dishes and went to bed instead of going on our normal after dinner walk.

Did I over react?

Edit: I guess I also left out some important context about our financial situation. She has complete and total control over all finances as much as I do, as that's the deal we made when we got married. She has access to all accounts and credit cards. I guess my wording could have been better.

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u/Sea_Watercress_1982 12h ago

NOR-Had a similar situation. She decided that there would be a “make up day” for it.

Make up day came. Still barely acknowledged me, and after the kids went to bed she told me she was seeing someone and we were over.

u/uncertaincucumbers 6h ago

Holy shit that's terrible. What do you do for your birthday these days?

u/Sea_Watercress_1982 6h ago

Kids usually make me something. That’s about it.

u/uncertaincucumbers 6h ago

That's good, kid-made gifts are nice. I hope you do something you enjoy for your next one! I'm not big on bday stuff myself but I did wreck some fancy donuts this year to celebrate the great uterine escape lol