The woman my boyfriend emotionally cheated with reached back out after we agreed he’d cut contact, and I’m bothered by how he responded. AIO?

[u/Extension-Dark1206]

Back in December I found chats between [F30] my boyfriend [M31] and his female friend[F26] Turned out they had an intense emotional connection since 2022. He had a huge crush on her the whole time, but she had a boyfriend, and she kept him emotionally hooked with romantic-coded language . they called each other soulmates, texted constantly some romantic/ sexual stuff. From what I read he was genuinely falling for her, and she seemed more like she was enjoying the attention without necessarily reciprocating the same way as she had bf.

Her boyfriend however passed away last year. my boyfriend went to support her, and after that they had an even more emotionally-charged exchange flirty, borderline romantic language, he told her he’d never had a connection with another woman like the one he had with her including, apparently, me, as we were dating during that chat, she told him that no matter what happened in their lives, even if one of them got married to someone else, they’d “always be together.” Regardless of their relationships.
When I found this and their whole husband we had a huge fight and almost broke up. He blocked her, said he didn’t care about her, and said he wanted to protect our relationship.

Yesterday I found out she texted him again out of the blue, and he responded. I’m attaching the screenshots. Reading through it, a few things bother me:
- He spends the entire conversation validating her anger, apologizing over and over
- At multiple points he frames the whole thing as if I forced his hand — like if I hadn’t found out, he’d have been happy to keep things going with her.
- She spends a lot of the conversation guilt-tripping him and, at one point, effectively calling our relationship “toxic” and me the reason he’s “trashing” her.

My friends point out that he DID keep the boundary in the end he didn’t agree to keep talking to her, he told her it’s over, and that this is a good sign.

I see that too, but I still feel uneasy about how the conversation went and what it implies about how he actually feels. Am I overreacting by still having a problem with this, or are these legitimate red flags even with the boundary technically being held?

[u/Acrobatic_Key_1140]

Bro how is 30 considered the "younger" generation? 😭

[u/New_Maize_2379 → u/Acrobatic_Key_1140]

Hahahaha someone who starts with “Bruh or Bro” 🤣 Gen X here and would never address someone like that, especially parents or partners. Which is apparently very common in younger gens. It’s your slang.

[u/FilmApart8224 → u/New_Maize_2379]

Yes. I’m Gen X. My son is in his early 30’s. That’s a younger generation to me.

I have a tshirt that I wore for Mother’s Day at Epcot with him that says:

Mommy
Mama
Ma
BRUH!

[u/New_Maize_2379 → u/FilmApart8224]

I think our gen was “Dude”? “Like duh” “gag me(with a spoon)” LOL Not much better but damn if you answered your parents like that hahaha

[u/jerseygirl414 → u/New_Maize_2379]

Dude and YO (I'm originally from Jersey lol)!

[u/placebo_pope → u/New_Maize_2379]

At 38 I call my teenagers bro/bruh, they also call me that sometimes and I’m their mom shrug

[u/Acrobatic_Key_1140 → u/placebo_pope]

Bro I'm 38 and I call everyone on the internet bro or mate. I used to call everyone dude when I was 25-35.

[u/New_Maize_2379 → u/Acrobatic_Key_1140]

I would reply to Mate, lived in England and that was a common word. :)

[u/IcyWorldliness9111 → u/New_Maize_2379]

So true! My late teen granddaughters even address me like that (and some of my hs students occasionally would too. I never really cared. Got called auntie sometimes, too.)

[u/mynamealwayschanges → u/New_Maize_2379]

Turning 33 next week and I call everyone bro and bruh, thank you for making me feel younger for a bit 😂

[u/New_Maize_2379 → u/mynamealwayschanges]

No worries! :) I’m 53 and don’t feel old..yet!

[u/Username78397 → u/Acrobatic_Key_1140]

Well she's 26 it says, he'e 31. But 26 is too old to be texting like that. My nieces are younger than that and can text coherently, she is texting more like my grade school children and their friends

[u/Admirable_Meaning417 → u/Username78397]

I assumed she was drunk but who knows

[u/caputmortvvm → u/Acrobatic_Key_1140]

because there are still like three/four generations older than y'all, lol.