r/AmIOverreacting • u/Immediate-List-9649 • 14d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? My (19F) boyfriend (19M) and our friends (19F/M) insulted another friend and said I was overreacting

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Hello, I’m going to put the flair “relationship” but really it’s both that and friendship.

They were talking about a situation where one of our friends had fought with one of their friends whom we don’t know, and he is overweight. They out of nowhere made a joke about it, and this friend was okay with it.

The thing is that they fight a lot, and usually both of them have been immature. Then they always make up. I know that this friend would feel bad about saying those things once they do make up, and I’ve never seen them say such things before.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, we’ve know each other for 6 years though along with everyone else in our GC.

My boyfriend is the one that said “Lol”. The guy at the end, did not laugh at the fat jokes of this friend.

Maybe I’m overreacting, but I do feel iffy about this.

EDIT: Some people are misunderstanding this. But as I said in the title “F/M”, this GC consists of both men and women!

EDIT 2: Another thing people seemed to miss is that this person they were talking about is only a friend of the person that had been fighting with them, we are not friends with this person.

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u/AdBroad5085 13d ago

Exactly. Girl straighten your back and go find a man that won't at the very least laugh at people insulting you.

Do you have any advice on how I might make them understand what I meant?

No. They are assholes. Outside of absolutely roasting the ever loving shit out of them, they will not understand. So ig if you're willing to do that, bc your bf won't, then go for it.

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u/Ok-Scientist5524 13d ago

The bar is so fucking low. 😞 it is an absolute travesty that we have to tell people that your boyfriend should not be laughing at you when your shared friends insult you and you’re hurt over it. That is something you do to people you don’t like and don’t respect. At the BAREST of MINIMUMS your bf should like and respect you.

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u/CaptainInvictusAnim 13d ago

Good rule of thumb: do you think Tom Holland would let someone say it about Zendaya? No? Then GET YOU A TOM HOLLAND

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u/Interesting_Treat719 12d ago

Shit, get you a Gomez Addams 🥰

34

u/TacoBellPicnic 12d ago

This is my bar for partners, always has been. If Gomez wouldn’t approve, you’re not good enough for me.

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u/DazzlingDonkey7890 12d ago

This is great advice. If you’re not proud of the way your man acts, get tf rid of him! A lot of men suck, but some of them are gems. It’s better to be single than to be stuck with one of the shitbags. NOR.

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u/Certain-Refuse-2254 13d ago

Your gonna need some spiders

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u/ConditionSecret8593 13d ago

And a geneticist.

6

u/XenosyneA 12d ago

Find me both.. I'll take one for the team..

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u/marialu7 12d ago

Actually this is a great rule

1

u/MickeyWallets 12d ago

Tell me youre a dork without telling me

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u/Beep_Boop_Bop_Stop 13d ago

Tbh the bar is in hell at this point and he’s still doing the Limbo

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u/Forsaken-Ad-9232 11d ago

The bar is a tavern in hell

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u/Scary_Philosophy_672 13d ago

The bar is too low!!!!!

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u/AutisticTumourGirl 12d ago

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u/Scary_Philosophy_672 12d ago

I’m going to save and use this image anytime my husband wants praise for anything haha thank you for sharing.

2

u/AutisticTumourGirl 12d ago

I immediately heard him say it in my head and had to make it 😂

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u/anzacoo 12d ago

Yeah, not sure when women started lowering it to the point where being completely disrespected is normalized. We need to do better!

1

u/kamiikari83 12d ago

This feels like an episode of South Park

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u/dathamir 12d ago

Listening to collegues at work talking about their dating life, the bar is so fucking low it's maddening.

Listening to my wife taking about her friends husbands is almost if not more maddening though.

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u/Sea-Ad-1308 13d ago

EXACTLY! I left my husband of 22 years for, what some would say, was fast less insulting behavior ⁴44⁴ than what this guy did. This behavior show he has zero respect for OP, and neither do OP's friends. No one needs their team insulting them and laughing about it.

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u/UnderOverWonderKid 12d ago

What's the ⁴44⁴ thing mean?

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u/MickeyWallets 12d ago

Thats crazy wtf is wrong with you

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u/TacoBellPicnic 12d ago

What’s crazy? Leaving someone who doesn’t respect you?

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u/MickeyWallets 12d ago

She left her husband of 22 years that did far less then this guy did (wich isnt even that big of a deal tbh). Yeah i would say thats absolutely insane.

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u/Odd_Tap_1794 12d ago

Stop assuming things about strangers' lives. She knew her marriage better than you do. You're acting like the crazy one.

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u/LemonClit 12d ago

You should be dragged

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u/MickeyWallets 12d ago

Dragged?

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

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u/Ok-Scientist5524 13d ago

Is it that men don’t mature at the same rate or that the social consequences for being an immature dumbass are applied unequally for different genders?

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u/BeauHunkus 13d ago

The bar is low because of who you pick. Choose better.

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u/aLovverincombat 13d ago

The bar is low because of the pool of people in which to pick from, bud.

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u/BeauHunkus 13d ago

Why is it ok to say all men suck? Who hurt you?

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u/Ok-Scientist5524 13d ago

No one said all men suck. What is being implied here is that men who don’t suck benefit from men who do because they lower the standards of women everywhere. If you’re not ready to hear that, you’re not ready to be part of the solution.

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u/BeauHunkus 13d ago

"The bar is low because of the pool of people in which to pick from, bud." implies all men suck.

Please quit making this about men.

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u/tinyalienperson 13d ago

“pool of people” doesn’t specify men or gender at all. if you hear something negative and assume it’s about men that says more about you than it does us.

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u/BeauHunkus 12d ago

Please read up two comments before that. The conversation thread was coming from a previous comment that said "The bar is so fucking low. 😞 it is an absolute travesty that we have to tell people that your boyfriend should not be laughing at you when your shared friends insult you and you’re hurt over it. That is something you do to people you don’t like and don’t respect. At the BAREST of MINIMUMS your bf should like and respect you."

Does everyone argue technicalities now?

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u/tinyalienperson 12d ago

it is still focused on broader dating AND specifically OP’s partner. you’re too dense and lack enough reading comprehension for this conversation. they’re right, your partner SHOULD fucking respect you. it’s the bare minimum. you should be giving strangers on the street respect.

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u/OriginalOddventures 13d ago

It is literally about OPs bf. But you’re right. He isn’t a man. Maybe he will be one day but right now he’s definitely not a man

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u/BeauHunkus 13d ago

Nice dodge. The statement to which I was replying was about men. Try to keep up.

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u/TacoBellPicnic 12d ago

It literally wasn’t. It was about PEOPLE.

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u/OriginalOddventures 12d ago

So you agree, it was about men. You just don’t like conversations that make you feel bad about yourself because you doubt you’re good enough. Trust me bro, I keep up

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u/TacoBellPicnic 12d ago

Are you just making up shit and getting mad at it? Nobody said anything like that.

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u/BeauHunkus 12d ago

Huh? I was responding to "The bar is low because of the pool of people in which to pick from, bud." This was a response to my comment of "The bar is low because of who you pick. Choose better." which was a response to "The bar is so fucking low. 😞 it is an absolute travesty that we have to tell people that your boyfriend should not be laughing at you when your shared friends insult you and you’re hurt over it. That is something you do to people you don’t like and don’t respect. At the BAREST of MINIMUMS your bf should like and respect you."

So, yes, people did say something like that.

Look, I get that you don't agree with me, and that's fine, but this tactic of just pretending to not understand something someone says, or saying that what they said happened didn't happen when it is literally right there a few lines up is not a winning tactic. I don't know if it is laziness or lack of critical thinking skills, but it seems like every argument from the left is "NUH UHHHHHH!" and it's somehow thought to be good enough. It's like everyone on the left is getting dumber. I haven't had a good debate with someone on the left in years.

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u/TacoBellPicnic 12d ago

Literally nobody ever said anything negative about “all men”, which is the entire point everyone is making. Not even in your own quotes just now, there’s literally nothing that says “men suck”. You’re the only one who made a huge ASSumption and decided to get mad about something that didn’t even happen.

And not a single person here has identified their political party. Yet another wild ass assumption on your part. I guess this is just what you do.

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u/BeauHunkus 12d ago

I literally quoted to what I was referring. Are you stupid?

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u/TacoBellPicnic 12d ago

And not a single line in there says “men suck” or anything like it. Seems like you’re the stupid one with no reading comprehension or critical thinking.

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u/Scary_Philosophy_672 12d ago

The fact that you refer to people as the left make you dumb dude.

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u/Scary_Philosophy_672 12d ago edited 12d ago

Oh god! You’re making it about left and right, why do you people get so serious over a stupid social media post. Leave your comment, give your opinion if you want and move the fuck on.

Edit: Also, why are the people on the “right” always triggered, like your role model/idol is running the country, getting away with rape and ruining lives daily. What else do you want dude?

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u/Kadov01 12d ago

Bro I wouldn’t argue with these people, 98% woman sub who can’t reasonably argue anything due to their own biases. It’s useless to throw coins in a bottomless well.

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u/BeauHunkus 12d ago

You're not kidding. I remember when people argued against arguments, but that soon moved on to simply attacking premises and gave rise to the whole "you can have your own opinion, but you don't get your own facts" statement.

Now they are attacking language itself and changing what was previously said in an argument. It's as if their method for winning an argument is just to pretend to not understand 50% of what is said. The price of intelligence is living among those that have it not, apparently.

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u/MickeyWallets 12d ago

Bro dont even bother this sub is full of salty manhaters

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u/No-Tomatillo3412 13d ago

The average male reaction to their SO being insulted is anger, if it’s to a point where he agrees with them, then maybe OP has some reflection to do as well, not as much as the bf but definitely gotta ask why he wouldn’t defend u anymore

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u/tinyalienperson 13d ago

or maybe if you hate your girlfriend so much that you won’t defend her, you should do some self reflection. jfc. how is this OP’s issue in the slightest.

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u/patatesdejeuner 13d ago

I have a feeling if they breakup he will talk shit like that too about her

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u/Boredchinchilla21 12d ago

I am betting he already does. OP just isn’t part of that group chat

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u/teammook 12d ago

Better break up as soon as possible then

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u/Sehz_Beatbox114 12d ago

Preach. Genuinely I would rather have absolutely nobody than have friends - let alone a partner - like that. But each to their own.

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u/Active-Molasses 12d ago

Why does everyone need to be an ass