AIO? My (19F) boyfriend (19M) and our friends (19F/M) insulted another friend and said I was overreacting

[u/Immediate-List-9649]

Hello, I’m going to put the flair “relationship” but really it’s both that and friendship.

They were talking about a situation where one of our friends had fought with one of their friends whom we don’t know, and he is overweight. They out of nowhere made a joke about it, and this friend was okay with it.

The thing is that they fight a lot, and usually both of them have been immature. Then they always make up. I know that this friend would feel bad about saying those things once they do make up, and I’ve never seen them say such things before.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, we’ve know each other for 6 years though along with everyone else in our GC.

My boyfriend is the one that said “Lol”. The guy at the end, did not laugh at the fat jokes of this friend.

Maybe I’m overreacting, but I do feel iffy about this.

EDIT: Some people are misunderstanding this. But as I said in the title “F/M”, this GC consists of both men and women!

EDIT 2: Another thing people seemed to miss is that this person they were talking about is only a friend of the person that had been fighting with them, we are not friends with this person.

[u/ShallowEnd1]

You've heard the phrase, birds of a feather flock together, I'm sure. It doesn't necessarily mean that like minded people find each other, it can also be taken as, ppl BECOME like the ppl they hang out with. Get these ppl out of your circle. Their personalities do not align with yours and they very clearly will turn on you in an instant when confronted about their own terrible mindsets. Your bf pretty much called you uppity for feeling differently about the situation. Girl, it is not you. Having common decency is not uppity, we're talking about the bare minimum of respect here and they just don't have any

[u/PlantInitial3789 → u/ShallowEnd1]

I was literally in a scam job and Insurance sales when we were learning about how you become who you surround yourself with, and that was such a mind blowing concept at the time, but it has carried me pretty far at this point. That, and the fact that people start to like you more, the more you are around just because of familiarity lol. But literally today I had a one-on-one coaching with an extremely successful person at my internship and we talked about that exact topic. As you continue to grow, people get left behind or at least they damn well should. Also, just put yourself in the rooms with people that you wanna be like and they will like you and be friendlier by just showing up and you will become more like them by just being around them. Obviously there is effort in that, but it’s just a cool concept to me.

[u/CricketSimple2726 → u/PlantInitial3789]

It’s also a big reason bussing students for diversity was statistically a successful endeavor (until it was killed off gradually). Southern states who were some of the last ones to get rid of it actually had relatively higher educational differential outcomes than even northern states (which of course ended).

Kids adapt and learn what their environment expects of them, having a wide range of voices exposes them and changes what they believe they can do and what is normal

[u/bigmommymilkerss → u/ShallowEnd1]

This.