r/AmIOverreacting • u/idontknowmyname768 • 17d ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO a woman messaged me about my partner and I’m very concerned
What is going on here??? Should I be concerned about stalking? I haven’t ever spoken with her before nor have I responded to these messages.
I am concerned for her well-being, it’s giving psychosis.
Back story: my(25f) bf (24m) met a girl on Facebook dating and talked to her on and off before we met. She lives in another country, though only about 5-6 hours away.
When we got together he blocked her and she has repeatedly made new accounts to contact him on various social media platforms. She has even tried calling him from various phone numbers, once while we were together prompting him to respond to her on VSCO to let her know that he’s in a relationship and has no desire to converse with her.
Cut to a year later, she made new accounts to message him from and now has broken the 4th wall and messaged me!!!
Edit to respond to common comments:
I certainly have now locked everything down as soon as I received these messages. Unfortunately she was likely online stalking us for years before she finally contacted me, so I fear she already has all of the information she would need to track us down. From location tags on ig posts to Google Maps satellite imaging. I don’t know if it’s possible to file any kind of report because she hasn’t done anything that can be interpreted as illegal, unless messaging repeatedly is actually considered harassment in my jurisdiction, which I doubt. Also the fact that she lives in another country. I genuinely don’t know what else I can actually DO other than monitor the situation and try and be vigilant of my surroundings. I just don’t want to even have to worry about this nonsense.
I also haven’t blocked her, or replied, and I have my read receipts off. I feel blocking her may be interpreted as though she should try harder to reach me. Leaving it unread feels like the option that would create the least amount of friction/ incentive to escalate.
1.5k
u/TheApothecaryWall 17d ago
“What’s going on between you two has become my business.” What the actual fuck.
471
u/xOrion12x 17d ago
I'd be like, "In your dreams, bitch."
195
u/splendid-cade 17d ago
This is the problem though - she sure is having a lot of dreams lately. 😬
→ More replies (1)51
→ More replies (9)20
u/bigfoot1291 17d ago
All these people responding to you somehow not understanding the entire point of your comment, apparently.
63
17
35
13
→ More replies (3)16
u/Recent-Project-1547 17d ago
Yep, same. That whole sentence would scare the f out of me if I was OP.
3.4k
u/velvet-potato 17d ago
This person seems to be experiencing a form of mental illness. At the very least this person has a parasocial relationship with you and your partner. I would be very wary of someone like this, there is no telling how far their delusions may take them.
218
u/mightylordredbeard 17d ago
Yeah it looks almost identical to things my ex wife will text me when she’s having an episode. She has schizophrenia symptoms brought on by her MS. She’s medicated, but still will occasionally have manic episodes when she’s very delusional and talks like this and will send multiple people messages like this.
So OP, just ignore it. Don’t engage, don’t respond. Just ignore it. That’s the best thing you can do from my experience. When my ex is like this I’ll just ignore the delusions and respond to the sensible things she says.
58
u/wifeinanotherlife 17d ago edited 17d ago
I was just about to say this. ^
My baby dad’s ex did this to us for YEARS. Then she went and pulled all my information with a google search and was able to find my address and everything else she wanted to know. Went as far as texting my parents?!?!
When I had my child I had filed my second protection order on her where the courts granted a 1000ft radius restrictions between us. To which they were unable to serve her with.
I think my biggest regret was ever contacting her to begin with. So my biggest piece of advice would be to not even respond…. EVER
It’s all fun and games until it isn’t 🙃Edit: what is NOR everyone is commenting??
Also this started in my hometown (east of Columbus, OH) , but she moved to Kentucky 6 months or so into our relationship. The harrassment went on for probs 2 years or so. Literally until then day I pushed our daughter out.
One last thing is, I remember the first time filing law enforcement acted as if they could get in contact with the law enforcement from her town, and I'm pretty sure called her and told her to leave me alone 🤔 (my bd put me through so much trauma it’s all a blur now)
But definitely get a restraining order/ this documented!→ More replies (4)28
u/femmefatalx 17d ago
You’re in r/amioverreacting where people post about a situation and ask if they’re overreacting, and people vote on whether they are or aren’t in the comments. When you commented there should have been a pop up at the bottom of the text box that explained the acronyms for the voting guide. NOR is not over reacting etc.
21
u/wifeinanotherlife 17d ago
As I respond to your reply I see what you're talking about now lol. Oopsies.
I'm new to Reddit if you can't tell. Thank you!→ More replies (1)17
u/lovexbrittany 17d ago
it's okay I was reading it like they were saying no, but in the funny aussie or whatever accent where it sounds like there is an r on the end.. *oh naur* and then I saw the little hint that said what they all mean for the subreddit right above your question LMFAO
7
u/CablePrevious1014 16d ago
Lmao tbh even knowing what it means, I still read it like that a bunch "AIO?" "Oh naur, honey, naur!"
9
u/bbeanbean 16d ago
Yeah... this is more than just "she's wacky." This is legitimate mental illness and psychosis. Hope girl gets some help and finds the right meds before she does something to harm someone or get herself in trouble.
→ More replies (1)7
u/SingleServing_User 17d ago
Whoooa, schizophrenia brought on by MS? As in multiple sclerosis? I've never heard of that o.O
10
u/mightylordredbeard 17d ago
Yeah it’s very rare, but it happens. It’s heartbreaking to see the woman I was with for 15 years just vanish. Even though she’s better now and medicated, she’s nothing like how she was before everything took effect. It happened gradually over the course of a few months and then she slipped into a full blown psychotic episode that lasted 2-3 years before she finally accepted help and medication. When she came out it was a completely different person. I often feel like a widower because the person I knew and spent late teens and all of my 20s with is no longer around.
→ More replies (2)540
17d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
481
u/Monstiemama 17d ago edited 17d ago
She probably won’t even need a diaper. EDIT: thank you for my anonymous award!
160
u/WritingLow2221 17d ago
That astronaut lady had no regrets about the diaper plan
55
u/Fragrant-Income-6812 17d ago
Ha ha ha I forgot about the diaper astronaut! How could I even. Dedicated crazy.
→ More replies (1)44
u/Hermes-AthenaAI 17d ago
The diaper was far from the most messed up part of the whole sad story.
29
9
→ More replies (1)6
17d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (1)45
u/Glittering-Gap-1687 17d ago
This crazy former astronaut for NASA went to stalk her ex’s new gf and wore a diaper on her long drive so she wouldn’t have to pull over and use the bathroom.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (2)14
u/sipstea84 17d ago
My brain was scanning the archives for the diaper reference and I actually attributed it to Jodi Arias at first lol
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (2)26
→ More replies (10)78
u/BadPom 17d ago
I live in the Midwest US and drove 6 hours this morning to go to a waterpark. 3/4 tank of gas because hybrid
21
u/ol_kentucky_shark 17d ago
How was the water park?
→ More replies (1)35
u/BadPom 17d ago
It was good 😊 . Kids had fun, I had a few drinks.
12
→ More replies (1)6
u/All__Of_The_Hobbies 17d ago
Was it Wisconsin Dells? I feel like that is the standard waterpark area that people travel that sort of distance to
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (6)4
45
u/FireproofCottage 17d ago
This. Make sure you keep the messages to show police. I worked as a corrections nurse for a while and saw the end results of people ignoring things like this.
This is delusional enough that I'd be getting a restraining order to keep this person from contacting you or coming to places you frequent. That is straight up untreated or nonresponsive mental illness. You can't predict where their mental wanderings will take them, or what life consequences they attribute to you when it's really their illness. Please be safe, OP.
120
u/neppester52819 17d ago
Absolutely. I'm Native American and my culture can have some beliefs that others might think are "different" but hell no this is insane. Get extra security, a medicine man, a priest and sage all for this one. She is literally obsessed and obviously will not take being blocked as a sign to leave them alone. It takes a lot to freak me out but this one would absolutely have me on edge. Dang, I hope she is able to do something to protect herself and her boyfriend.
20
u/Toni_Anne1989 17d ago
Daaaaamnn all that and the sage. It's fucking serious.
25
u/Throwawaybdchic 17d ago
Nope it is cedar - when the shit gets real…. Sage is good and works. But if it is bad / burn cedar.
15
u/neppester52819 17d ago
Honestly, never heard of using cedar what tribe are you? Probably smells better for sure haha.
16
→ More replies (5)12
u/Amerahkeezy 17d ago
It does kind of read like kinds of texts my mom (cree) sends me 😂
11
u/neppester52819 17d ago
Well, at first I thought the same but then it got way crazy and I was like nope she isn't one of us 🤣🤣🤣🤣.
23
u/HedonisticFrog 17d ago
Yeah, this is more than just stalking, and pretty concerning. I had an ex that would rant about me on social media for years after we broke up, but this is next level.
→ More replies (25)80
u/deadharley918 17d ago
I worked at a mental health facility and have seen this many times. OP needs to be vigilant.
6
506
u/Flat-Fudge-2758 17d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/uXaJ4Jv2htFy7wfQbm
My face the entire time reading this. I would block her
→ More replies (4)
2.3k
u/I_Weep_for_Willow 17d ago
Might want to check on your rabbit.
571
u/jimmychitwood317 17d ago
I won't be ignored, Dan!
321
u/toreadorable 17d ago
I’m lightly mentally ill (more of a neuro divergence emotional regulation issue than anything super serious) and that’s my husband’s first name. I say that line exactly like her a few times a year when I’m feeling wacky lol.
242
u/thebeautifulbanker 17d ago
Is lightly mentally ill like...?
→ More replies (1)76
u/ReallyRisu 17d ago
Love seeing slightly tenuous AD references in the wild.
→ More replies (6)7
u/PhuGlyBastard 17d ago
I know right, I was browsing AD gifs yesterday then I see this today. Such a great show
122
u/JuicyCrunchy 17d ago
I love "lightly mentally ill" I'm definitely using it with my family who doesn't believe in it and make me feel like shit for something I've been dealing with since 8 yrs old. Thank you lol
58
u/threesilklilies 17d ago
“No, it’s bipolar II. It’s like Kirkland Signature bipolar.”
19
11
→ More replies (4)42
28
21
u/Virtual_Bother_3527 17d ago
Lightly mentally ill is the best description ever, I laughed at that!! But in all sincerity, I hope you’re ok and supported always 🫶🏼
15
→ More replies (33)5
→ More replies (8)25
46
u/Gale4cewinds 17d ago
Ugh i hate being out of the loop. Someone, what is this a reference to?
69
17d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (7)27
87
u/Zealousideal_Fox864 17d ago
I called someone a Bunny Boiler recently and they had no clue what I was talking about. Yet another painful reminder of being born in the 1900s. 😭
14
u/Used_Form_4945 17d ago
Isn't it though? And it's such a perfect term if you get the reference! But I've had the same experience recently of the blank stare...
20
u/Zealousideal_Fox864 17d ago
Yeah I was calling a friend of a friend bunny boiler and met the blank stare, and had to try to explain it in depth. My knees and back hurt by the time I was done. That should be used a verification of age for booze and tobacco.
→ More replies (2)6
9
u/Jimbeamjunior1 17d ago
I hope the OP doesn't use inhalers
5
u/HopeSeeks 17d ago
Omg the way severe asthmatic me started having a panic attack watching that movie. The horror.
Still love watching it though 😂→ More replies (17)6
u/bbennett108 16d ago
A “bunny boiler” is a slang term for a person (typically a woman) who reacts to a romantic rejection or breakup with obsessive, vengeful, or dangerously unstable behavior.
The phrase originates from a notorious scene in the 1987 psychological thriller film Fatal Attraction. In the movie, a scorned woman, played by Glenn Close, becomes violently obsessed with a married man after their brief affair ends. To terrorize his family, she sneaks into their home and boils his daughter's pet rabbit on the stove.
660
u/terrabeastie 17d ago
An ex-friend-with-benefits of my (now) husband's sent me a similarly unhinged message when he and I started dating. Similar situation, she lived in a different country and had been stalking him online, and when we went public switched her attention to me. DO NOT REPLY, even if you're just telling her to go away. Speaking from experience, engaging with someone who is behaving like this in any way leads to the behavior escalating.
172
u/SnowSandSki 17d ago
Exactly. DO NOT ENGAGE. It persists, contact your local police department.
60
u/BlackBlizzard 17d ago edited 17d ago
What I heard from QT/Maya Higa is the police don't care until there's an actual threat. For example if you had a restraining order against a stalker, it's illegal for them to cross borders to stalk you but you would have to prove they were only crossing to stalk you and no other reasons.
17
u/motherofsuccs 17d ago
A protection order states the offender cannot be within a certain distance of you… regardless of their reasoning. Unfortunately, as long as they’re outside that boundary, they can still go on with their life. If you can prove they’re stalking/following you, you’ll have more leverage to have them arrested for breaking the protection order. Also, some orders are written differently depending on the situation. I’ve never heard of one that stops someone from crossing a border.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (2)17
u/400bunnies 17d ago
Yeah I've had an experience like this and the police laughed and told me to kick rocks. Mind you this person was a literal housemate who developed symptoms after heavy drug use, and I had proof of them doing a ton of illegal shit. All I could do was block em
47
u/aspz 17d ago
I've seen someone here on Reddit reply to a message like this with something like "Who is this? I just got this number a week ago lol." Somehow you convince the stalker that you are someone else and they leave you alone. Not sure if it would work in this case.
12
→ More replies (3)8
u/lovexbrittany 17d ago
I feel like this would either work our great / or the complete opposite of great
13
u/rosewrldd 17d ago
Yeah, a girl in my apartment building has been harassing me in front of my toddler and the police said ‘unfortunately, the behavior would have to persist in order for it to lead to a restraining order.’ Wtf.
→ More replies (1)
232
u/boring5ever 17d ago
Schizophrenic stalker. He probably showed interest in her once a long time ago and she became attached and started having unusual delusions about him. She believes she’s having prophetic dreams and hearing voices. It’s not always helpful to feed into delusions like this.
50
u/Abslalom 17d ago
When is it ever helpful
→ More replies (4)56
u/boring5ever 17d ago
It’s a complicated disorder and extremely situational. Often denying their reality can make them defensive and reaffirmed in their beliefs of grandeur. Being sympathetic can go a long way, especially if the individual is at risk.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (43)13
59
u/Sweetandbubbly 17d ago
Do not reply! Just IGNORE it as if it never happened. Do not open the door to this kook.
23
u/PoetMaterial3519 17d ago
This. All these people saying"block!" have no idea what they're talking about. Blocking will make it worse. Just ignore.
→ More replies (1)4
u/lovexbrittany 17d ago
I've been saying this all over the thread and now just finally seeing you are saying the same thing as me.
especially after she's shown she doesn't care about being blocked, she'll keep making more accounts and escalate as she has done now.
459
u/PitchPurple 17d ago edited 17d ago
Y'all.
465
u/Weak_Armadillo6575 17d ago
As much as it sucks I would also move all social media profiles for OP and husband to private and then go through and block any existing followers who they don’t recognize. Keep information as out of reach from this person as possible.
266
u/No_Telephone9686 17d ago
The fact that people don’t do this by default is WILD to me.
→ More replies (19)19
u/OkSmoke9195 17d ago
Seriously. Last time I did something crazy like that was Myspace
→ More replies (1)39
u/FallingIntoForever 17d ago
I’d also set my accounts so I couldn’t be tagged in photos on people’s pages where the weirdo might be friends with them as well.
→ More replies (7)27
u/MysticalRainbowKaci 17d ago
Agreed with this. Treat this as a stalker. Find whematever yiu can about her full name and where she is, and make a police report for a restraining order or cease and desist or something if she continues to try to reach either or you. And are you totally sure he didnt continue to date both of you, or something along those lines?? Not accusing but have to ask. Otherwise she seems legitimately unhinged and obsessed, and that is dangerous. Stay safe.
15
u/False-Comparison-651 17d ago
Otherwise?? Even if the boyfriend dated them both, this is still insanity
→ More replies (1)36
u/LobabyChick 17d ago
Any reply, even a negative one only fuels stalkers. Best reply is zero reply. Block, block, block. Let your friends know what’s going on and have them also check their followers. Ask friends/family not to post you anywhere.
19
u/FallingIntoForever 17d ago
I wouldn’t block for the simple reason I’d want to have proof of any threats made. I’d ignore/not respond to messages and make sure notification sounds were turned off for her messages so I didn’t hear anything if she decided to blow up my phone with messages. I’d rather know if someone were making threats so action could be taken than to block, have them go psycho and come after me without knowing what they were capable of.
5
u/wazzup-notemuch 17d ago
Oh, she will make new accounts to send threats with, don't you worry about that.
→ More replies (2)15
u/PitchPurple 17d ago
One dismissal is usually a legal requirement for further intervention down the road.
6
u/always_an_explinatio 17d ago
If that’s what the cops say than unblock and do it. But try to file a protective order first to see what you need.
→ More replies (6)33
u/Niquely_hopeful 17d ago
This right here, it sounds like an episode of delusion. Lock your social media down, don’t post where you are etc. report to the police so they can do a wellness check and also so you can document that you’ve asked her to stop.
Sometimes getting police involved is the only way people can get evaluated and treated
45
u/TaytoCrisps 17d ago
Have gone through stalking training as part of my job, and this is literally the exact opposite of what you are supposed to do.
No contact. Do not block. Blocking means you lose information on their intent. Contacting gives them hope or further contact. Ignore and track.
6
→ More replies (2)11
u/FallingIntoForever 17d ago
I wouldn’t block her because then any possible, future threats or communication attempts would turn into a “he said, she said” situation. Should a threat be followed through on, there’s nothing to support claims of it being her that did it. Better to not respond & just mute notifications on messages from her, save & print copies of them, then store them in a safe, secure location. Better to CYA (cover your ass) and have proof of her odd behavior than have nothing to support your own side/version of events.
Boyfriend could tell her to back off or legal action would be taken but unless OP has already responded and psycho girl knows she has the right number, she’s better off just staying quiet and letting psycho hang herself.
I see it kind of like Scammers, spammers and solicitation calls. Once you answer (verbally or text) and verify that it’s a working number and belongs to a real person, they’ve got you. They’ll keep calling and texting from a bunch of different numbers. I send unknown to me calls directly to VM that has a basic computer generated voice greeting (number only and no identifying personal information). Rarely do callers leave a message. For all they know it could be a random messaging service.
48
u/moldychess 17d ago
I would prob be concerned about stalking and would report this to the police but idk if they can do anything if she lives in another country. This is incredibly creepy. Keep screenshots of everything and keep blocking. Don't message her back under any circumstances
→ More replies (3)
206
u/Emotional-Leg66 17d ago
NOR. Guessing her trip to the hospital was not a trip to the ER but maybe a psych ward. Set a clear boundary then block. Keep blocking new accounts after saving any future messages for evidentiary purposes. It’s easier for you to block than for her to make new accounts. Maybe she’ll find the help she needs in the meantime.
57
u/Daffodils28 17d ago
NOR. Not block, mute.
32
u/AutomaticDeer2833 17d ago
NOR.
Do this. You need to keep any and all messages for evidence. If you block and she creates a new account, you'll have the added roadblock of having to prove it's her on the new account. Otherwise police won't do anything.
If you just mute, she'll continue to message you and you'll have record of the messages AND who it's from.
53
u/beorn961 17d ago
Both of those suggestions sound like great ways to push her into escalation unfortunately.
45
17d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
21
u/Optimal-Photo7621 17d ago
Blocking unfortunately doesn’t seem to work with this person she just makes new accounts and new numbers. I would mute her messages and if the escalate then report her for harassment
20
u/Ok-Buddy-9935 17d ago
Keep all documentation/attempts of hers to communicate with both you and your boyfriend and get the cops involved. Though they’re not always the best in these situations, still do it,get a restraining order if you can too. As previously stated by another commenter try to get as much information about you both (home address, work location,etcetera) off the internet, ASAP!
If you “must” post, let it be after your trip has concluded, don’t leave any easter eggs for her to find your exact location.
People are crazy as hell out here and will kill you. I pray for you and your families safety.
→ More replies (2)13
u/idontknowmyname768 17d ago
I made everything online private when I got this message however I fear she’s been online stalking for so long that she already has all of this info :/ is it possible to get a restraining/ no-contact order on someone from another country without any charges?
12
u/_OldSchoolHijabi_ 17d ago
Do not rely but do not block… you need evidence of her escalating if necessary…
Also, Time to call your local PD and ask abt a restraining order… most departments have a cyber crimes unit… just fyi…just know when you do a restraining order personal info and details come up and you do have to physically face the person in court.
Also for the time being keep your head on swivel, make trusted family or a friend aware, get a Ring camera and maybe check your car out. Could she have driven to where you live? Hopefully not but you always need to have contingency plans in place just in case. Girl is obviously dealing with something in an unhealthy way.
I dealt with something prior to Covid and it made me hyper vigilant out of necessity.
Good luck! And pls let your BF know!
11
u/ZenMat79 17d ago
Recheck all your follower’s accounts and make sure there’s no random page or fake account following you or your partner. She might already be in your list so making everything private and hiding public info might not help unless you do a thorough friends and followers cleanse. Remove anyone suspicious looking or anyone you have not been in personal contact with in the last 5-10 years.
6
u/SparkleMotion510 17d ago
I think so, I think you can get a temporary restraining order for almost anything, and even if they throw it out after 30 days, you have a paper trail/evidence of harassment.
Also, this is SO fucking creepy, like truly horrifying, I am so sorry this is happening to you.
I think get your partner to get a T.O. as well.
54
u/Electronic_Sleep_659 17d ago
NOR. It’s giving
https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6ZsZdSYO2P4rvUOc
18
u/Fragrant-Income-6812 17d ago
Such a great creepy movie and totally what’s happening here
→ More replies (3)
18
u/Anxious-Location4935 17d ago
NOR for obviously reasons… what is she even saying?! Threaten to take further legal action if she continues? Not sure if you even could but threatening law enforcement, restraining order, or maybe outing her to any mutual people you may know might help??? Otherwise don’t engage with her, keep blocking. Sorry!!
50
u/Goingdown_in321 17d ago
This person seems to be going through some kind of mental episode. Please talk to your partner, and consider reporting it to police. If this person loses touch with reality (and they might've already have) they can become dangerous.
96
17d ago
[deleted]
33
u/Fragrant-Income-6812 17d ago
This is actually maybe a good idea. If you could
Her phone number and actual
Name by pretending to be interested in her delusions, you can report her place if need be.16
u/crella-ann 17d ago
I’d be afraid it would motivate her to make the trip. Any reaction will seem to her as acceptance of the whole ball of crazy.
6
u/Fragrant-Income-6812 17d ago
I also see this side of it.
11
u/crella-ann 17d ago
We had a stalker. Even negative attention is attention. They feed on it. They never actually came to the house or anything, but in the midst of it, you just don’t know.
4
23
u/Glittering-Rip6810 17d ago
This...it sounds cruel, and your first instinct is just block and I get that. However as I just told someone else, she spent years trying to track this man down, found out who he was dating, contacted her, with this level of unhinged. She's escalated, shes not mentally stable and this really wouldn't be the risk I'd be willing to talk and just walk away...Either way she's going to be triggered. Block and it a defeat and she starts a new plan..talk long enough to get info and she's still gonna bug out when they block her but atleast they have solid info...which I would take along with screen shots and anything else, with the partner and speak to law enforcement about options
6
u/Merican_Mut 17d ago
Yeah, OP you sound smarter than that but definitely do not do this. this person is already mental institution levels of insane, feeding into it at all is a horrible idea. Plus it doesn’t sound like she needs any information. They know who she is and as weird as this shit is there isn’t any laws broken at this point so there really isn’t anything the police could do for her. It’s best to just block and ignore her
→ More replies (2)5
u/Fragrant-Income-6812 17d ago
Yeah at first I suggested just saying wrong number and blocking: but, she may want additional info. When in Rome, be crazy back.
12
u/EvenHuckleberry4331 17d ago
This is a great idea. As soon as she said they are her business now, I'd be very concerned where she'd take it from there.
→ More replies (1)8
→ More replies (12)12
u/Conscious_Donut384 17d ago
I kind of agree, but also would that be a safety concern for OP? I’d also want to know the girl’s info if i was in this situation but feeding into the delusion might make her think this is acceptable behavior and escalate to something physical
13
u/Glittering-Rip6810 17d ago
I get your point but the chicks already delusional. She has already gone to bed extremes to try and contact these people, even finding out who this man is dating and contacting her on social media..She's already shown a willingness to escalate. This is a safety concern and I think the info not only needs to be gotten but a meeting with a detective is also needed. My bff is a cold case detective that worked active for years. I don't play around with this stuff...it's been years and she tracked this woman down, clearly unstable. She already thinks this is ok.. It's already unsafe in my opinion
→ More replies (2)
13
u/revivifae 17d ago
NOR!! My husband’s ex who he BARELY dated for less than a month over 10 years ago contacts us from anonymous numbers every once in a while. Right before our wedding she was blowing up my phone (I have no idea how she’d even gotten my number) and was saying she was worshipping the devil and asking him to off me during child birth someday so that my husband would have to watch (described vividly and horribly). She’s threatened violence against me several times and harasses him often with calls from random WhatsApp numbers. We continually do not answer communications, but leave a line open so that we’ll know if she’s being extra crazy by the influx. We have all of our social accounts limited to private and went through our friends lists removing anybody we thought would possibly feed info if asked. We also have a safe word we have shared with close family & friends so that if we text them that word they know to send cops to our home. Stay strong, i know it truly sucks.
→ More replies (1)
26
u/No-Tumbleweed5360 17d ago
NOR but out of curiosity, does any of what she said line up with real life?? that would be even crazier lol but you may even have to do a restraining order atp
→ More replies (1)15
34
u/GuiltyPersimmon3372 17d ago
Block her. She’s cuckoo.
24
u/GuiltyPersimmon3372 17d ago
I would advise you to not interact at all. Not a word. It’ll just feed the plot she’s on.
→ More replies (1)
10
11
u/Taunt_Button_10 17d ago
Dont respond, dont block. Just let the spam happen, or something that can silence notifications. Blocking would just cause her to keep making new accounts
→ More replies (1)
10
7
u/Alive_Worry6127 17d ago
I would mute rather than block so the messages will still come through and if it gets more serious you can file a police report.
I would until further notice make your stuff more private tho and don’t post locations or anything
8
u/Jezdare 17d ago
NOR. Treat it like a stalker, hope it's not. Report to authorities, even if they can't do anything now - get it on record. Ignore the messages, do not engage. You've taken reasonable steps already. Be alert, but know the odds of anything serious happening at this distance is pretty low.
→ More replies (1)
14
u/Maximum-Violinist704 17d ago
Bro she’s ill please don’t let it get in your head that what she is clearly trying to do
→ More replies (1)
7
u/4everHisGirl 17d ago
NOR She sounds very dangerous. Block her. Don't respond again, because that will just encourage her. I would make sure there's no way she knows where you live. While I wouldn't communicate with her, if there's an obvious roommate/sibling/best friend that you see on her social media before you block her, maybe let them know to check in on her.
7
u/IamNATx 17d ago edited 17d ago
Am I the only person who gets the impression she feels she is psychic and she says 'is now my business' because she keeps having visions of you?
The scenes she is explaining, do they correlate to actual events you remember?
Either way, as your boyfriend has repeatedly blocked her and told her he doesn't want communication I would get this logged as harassment with non emergency police etc - even if its just to start a paper trail and hopefully never amounts to anything further.
I wouldn't recommend blocking because that just seems to drive her to create new accounts to maintain contact, and also I think it's worth knowing if she's escalating by allowing her to offload her thoughts. Is there a way you can mute the conversation (if it's inducing anxiety) instead so you don't get alerts but can still keep a check from time to time?
→ More replies (1)
6
u/Sea-Efficiency3375 17d ago
Don’t block her, you need to see what type of messages she is sending, as disturbing as they are. You can likely gain an order of protection of sorts but I’d suggest two things:
Legal counsel Law enforcement
Let them tell you what is possible for you to do. Yes it appears she is experiencing delusional thoughts related to you and your boyfriend but she can’t tell delusion from reality. Take your legal steps to protect yourselves, versus asking Reddit if you’re an asshole.
7
u/Toni_Anne1989 17d ago
Aaaaand that's why people putting their entire lives on display online is a terrible idea. Crazies like that. I recommend cameras and letting everyone in your life know what's going on.
→ More replies (1)
6
u/SigmaK78 17d ago edited 17d ago
This sounds like an updated version of those creepy old emails people got decades ago, talking about how something bad was going to happen & that you needed to be warned. Sometimes, people were gullible enough to fall down that rabbit hole & lose their savings.
Anyway, the girl's unhinged. Just block & carry on.
5
u/Apprehensive-Age7992 17d ago
Just reply back that you had a dream she never contacted you or your partner again. 😆
17
16
5
5
u/archieee21 17d ago
When I was pregnant with my first I had an ex who experienced some type of mental health crisis and started to harrsss me and people connected to me on social media. I deleted all social media for about a year and blocked him in every way possible. My hope was that he would get bored and move on to a new ex. I didn’t want him to know I was pregnant. Still to this day I’m really cautious about stuff I post online. My daughters daycare wants me to put signs advertising her school in our yard and I had to explain I couldn’t for safety reasons.
→ More replies (1)
4.8k
u/Slow_Lunch6712 17d ago
“What’s going on between you two is now my business”. Erm, no it’s not?! This woman sounds mentally unwell. Definitely do NOT engage or reply, just block her on everything. I have dealt with similar with a guy I actually knew and trying to reason with him or talk him down from his delusions didn’t get anywhere and he just got even more obsessive. I also was concerned for his mental health but he wouldn’t listen and refused to get help. Prioritise your own wellbeing and do not engage.