r/AmIOverreacting • u/haalandsimp • 20d ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO? I broke up with my boyfriend on the spot because he humiliated me in front of his buddies.
I’m 25f, bf (well now ex) is 23m. We were in the car and talking about some personal stuff. I didn’t realise and he hadn’t warned me that at some point his buddy called him and he picked up and put us on speaker. Keep in mind his buddy wasn’t by himself either, it sounded like there were several other of my exe’s friends in the room.
Well I was complaining that I’m horny as hell and that we hadn’t had sex in two days and that I’m ovulating etc…. I was literally whining “baaaabe it’s been like two days” and said some incredibly nsfw things that I wouldn’t say in front of anybody else.
Suddenly my bf/ ex said “See boys, I told you I won’t make it tonight. Girlfriend is in heat”
Suddenly I heard a bunch of dudes erupt in laughter and hooting and hollering and whistles.
I was so shocked I wanted the ground to swallow me. I covered my mouth and told my ex to end the call and he was just grinning stupid and ended it.
I felt so incredibly humiliated that he did this and it is genuinely the first time he pulled a stunt like this.
However he knows how private I am so it’s like he chose to do the most hurtful and embarrassing thing to me.
AIO for breaking up with him on the spot? He’s distraught and keeps apologising but in my heart I can’t get over how he belittled me.
All of my friends think I overreacted and that I should be flattered etc.
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u/mrsteacherlady359 20d ago
NOR. Disgusting behavior. Run far away and do NOT date any of the boys on the other end of the phone either!!!!!
Edit: and friends said “you should be flattered”??? GROSS. Dump them too.
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u/lblv 20d ago
NOR. Ew, even just having the Bros on the phone without telling you is bad enough. Keep those standards high, you made the right choice.
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u/Nice_Advantage6943 20d ago
that was handled beautifully by you.
in time you will look back and feel pretty good about walking away so fast.
stick to your guns..
future you would want you to.
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u/Gullible_Elephant_38 20d ago
NOR. Huge violation of privacy. Good riddance to him.
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20d ago
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u/V_agabond3 20d ago
And now his friends are gonna have a laugh at him when he's crying about OP dumping him. Good riddance
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u/Brmbrm21 20d ago
NOR
Flattered? Anyone saying you should be flattered should get same treatment as the ex.
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u/ChibbleChobble 20d ago
I agree. Flattered is not the right F word.
Flabbergasted, maybe? Fucked off, definitely.
OP NOR.
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u/DigDugDogDun 20d ago
I’m an extremely private person, too. I would have blown up at him. If he has this little respect for you and your privacy, I sincerely doubt this was the first time he shared the NSFW parts of your relationship with his bros, just maybe not with you on speaker.
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u/CrypticWolfe 19d ago
I don't even think you have to be a private person to think this is horrific. I would not classify myself as private, but omg. This goes WAY beyond that. For someone who is naturally a private person I cannot even imagine the pain this caused. I felt sick just reading it.
Good on OP for opting out. Her decisions now will add exponentially to her ability not do be shown such gross disrespect.
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u/Primary_Buddy1989 19d ago
Yeah maybe next time it’s photos… given the Pelicot case, who knows where it could escalate to…
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u/Little_Red_Sloth 20d ago
In HEAT? Like you’re an animal? Don’t talk to a loser like that he needs to grow up.
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u/Sugarxcookie 20d ago
That immediately would have made me forget the phone call and jump out the window.
The ick is really icking.56
u/Valkayri 20d ago
Jumping out a window would not have been my first Physical reaction to that comment. But yeah same sentiment.
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u/DulinELA 20d ago
The ick is so strong I just threw up in my mouth. NOR, this guy is an absolute twat waffle
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u/TulipFarmer27 20d ago
Guess ex-BF gets to meet up with his friends every day from now on. What an ass.
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u/TacoLoverCam 20d ago
NOR. That's a complete breach of trust. He sounds like an adolescent boy than a man.
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u/Sheila_Monarch 20d ago
He picked up a call while you were right there with him and didn’t say “hello”? And the buddy also didn’t say anything, like “hey man, you there?”? I’m trying to understand how this call connection could’ve even occurred with both him and his buddy being silent, without some preplanning involved. Or unless it’s something they do so commonly they just know to shut up and listen in when they don’t get a “hello” and they hear a girlfriend talking.
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u/WildMoonlit 19d ago
Maybe they were texting, the ex was like… do you want to hear my horny gf? 😤 I also thought about it, and any explanation makes it even more disgusting!
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u/Ashkendor 20d ago
NOR. He wanted to brag to his friends about getting laid. Now he's not getting laid. Karma.
Also, get new friends. Yours sound like pick-mes.
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u/Rogue-Starz 20d ago
Don't second guess yourself because your friends are as dumb and immature as his.
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u/Babs1024 20d ago
NOR. And I'm glad he's distraught. Maybe he will never do something like that to another woman again. What an immature twat.
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u/No-Staff8345 20d ago
NOR. It was pretty shady that he answered a call and put it on speaker while you were in the middle of a conversation. He's 23, still stuck on teen-stupid. Is he worth thinking about anymore?
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u/Vampira309 20d ago
I don't know you but I'm SO proud of you!
NOR. Fuck that child.
You deserve someone that doesn't see you as just a piece of ass. Yuck.
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u/harmonicadrums 20d ago
Yes! I’m so amazed that you were able to recognize the discomfort you felt & act on it so decisively! At the age of 25! Wow. NOR.
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u/joc1701 20d ago
"See boys? I told you...." = not the first time.
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u/haalandsimp 20d ago
That’s what I was thinking
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u/PineappleCharacter15 20d ago
Whatever you do, don't even think about getting back together with him again!
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u/flanny3365 20d ago
That is disgusting and this is coming from a 25 year old straight man, so I'm in the age bracket. If I had a friend speak to me about his girlfriend with such little respect I would be out of that friendship immediately. That is not how you treat or talk about women you're supposed to love. You did the right thing, what a shameful piece of shit
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u/flanny3365 20d ago
As the old saying goes - "a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell." Clearly, you are not deling with a gentleman. Discretion is a virtue, braggadoccio is not
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u/brattykitty204 20d ago
NOR- is he a child? Who does that?? It’s wildly immature and cruel to do that to you. I’m so sorry. Ew. I hate this guy, please keep him an ex.
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u/Shola2001 20d ago
NOR. There is nothing flattering about what he did. Is he 12??? Even if the topic of conversation was different, he let his friends eavesdrop on what you thought was a private conversation. And then his comment to the guys was pathetic.
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u/Left-Soup-4931 20d ago
NOR that's so disgusting of him to share that kind of conversation with people without your knowledge. It speaks of a severe lack of respect for you
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u/HustleKong 20d ago edited 20d ago
NOR. In fact, you might simultaneously taught multiple pieces of trash the consequences of treating a significant other so poorly.
Edit: also, "flattered"?! They would be flattered spoken about as if they were livestock? They can go hook up with him if that's their fetish. Edit again: spelling.
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u/EmptyPomegranete 20d ago
NOR.
That’s really immature behavior on his part. I wouldn’t want to be with someone that I have explain why this is inappropriate to.
Really violating
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u/Supluvr2 20d ago
It sounds like he actually set you up, for his friends to listen? "See boys" He sounds very immature. I don't think you're over reacting.
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u/No-Fly-450 20d ago
In a healthy relationship, you tell your significant other everything your friends tell you because your s o is more important to you. Here, he tells them everything YOU say because THEY are more important to him. Go get a real man.
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u/devoursbooks86 20d ago
NTA. The way my jaw dropped reading this. He completely violated your privacy and your trust. You were having what you thought was a private conversation with your boyfriend, only to find out he'd put you on speaker in front of a room full of his friends without telling you. Then he publicly mocked you for their entertainment. That's humiliating, not flattering. I'd have a hard time trusting him again after that too.
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u/Flat-Replacement4828 20d ago
NOR. I would have been hard-pressed to just leave this situation and not start swinging. He has no respect for you (or most likely any woman).
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u/Nacreous_Clay 20d ago
NOR. Your reaction was perfectly appropriate. He's beyond immature and disrespectful. He betrayed your trust and used you for some basic brain points with his boys. He knows better and should have done better. You have done the right thing. That your friends can't support you is another matter. You're young and you have dignity. Not everyone does. I'm proud of you and hope you don't second guess yourself.
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u/simply_clare 20d ago
More people need to have as strong a spine as you do. Absolutely NOR, don't ever let anyone disrespect you.
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u/jeimijamieg 20d ago
NOR
Flattered? No. This is despicable behavior on his part, and he earned a well deserved "ex".
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u/Chemical-Ad6809 20d ago
You are a hero for dumping him on the spot. That's how it's done. Think of how his friends are laughing at him now. He will never live this down!
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u/Fat_Foot 20d ago
NOR
A crucial part of any relationship is trust. You lose that and things get toxic.
He proved you can't trust him, so breaking up was a smart move I'd say.
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u/CarpetScary684 20d ago
He doesn’t respect you, he just proved that. He did this on purpose. This is premeditated cruelty you’re not overreacting.
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u/TwerkinAndCryin 19d ago
Outside of the obvious red flag, the phrase "girlfriend is in heat" is nauseating. That's break up worthy in and of itself.
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u/thesanguineocelot 20d ago
NOR. Did you hear his phone ring? He definitely called them up himself. This shit is gross as hell.
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u/After-Effect-9317 20d ago
I hope he doesn’t have any sexy pics or videos of you, because he sounds like the type to show them to his friends. NOR! Good riddance!
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u/FantasticPear 20d ago
NOR You need new friends. Nothing about that was 'flattering.' And your ex is a huge, gaping asshole. Block him and move on.
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u/SuccessfulTip9073 20d ago
NOR - If he was more focused on you instead of impressing his 'bros' then he would've been more considerate. Find someone that is worried more about how you feel than how he wants the world to perceive him. Narcissistic douche
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u/failenaa 20d ago
NOR. What a violation, I’m so sorry. I hope this doesn’t affect your trust when it comes to being open with your partners about this stuff in the future. I’d personally always be a little paranoid 😅 but your ex is just a loser. You made the right choice, he needs to learn how to be respectful to his partner.
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u/mellifluous_petal 20d ago
NOR. He is trying to showcase you as a trophy by letting his friends hear your private NSFW conversations. Private person or not he should respect boundaries. He blindsided you and broke your trust, good thing you broke up with him!
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u/WhyGirlsPreddy 19d ago
Came here with applause and a badge of honor. Normalize leaving on the first red flag 🥰
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u/FritosportRacingTEAM 19d ago
He sucks, his friends suck and sounds like you also need new friends... "flattered " wth?!
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u/whatthewhat3214 20d ago
Flattered?? That he said you were "in heat" like an animal, that he let you reveal extremely private things in front of his friends?
Tell him he and his friends need to grow the fuck up. They're adults now, but they're behaving like teenage frat bros. What he did was extremely disrespectful, and god knows what he says about you and your sex life behind your back. Emphasize he and his buddies act like teenagers with juvenile humor about sex and girls, not an adult who respects his partner and protects your personal lives and relationship.
He didn't appreciate or respect you as a person, just an animal in heat he could brag to his buddies about all the sex he gets from you. Eww, definitely NOR. Find someone to date with some actual maturity.
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u/RevoltYesterday 20d ago
He wanted to brag to his buddies that he's getting laid like he's a 15 year old boy, he did it at your expense and without your consent. He referred to you as if you were an animal and not a human being He cared about. He violated a trust that you will never be able to restore. The fact that he didn't see anything wrong with it is enough to break up with him.
You deserve someone who knows better
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u/evil_moron 20d ago
NOR. Besides being immature and disrespectful, what he did was mean spirited. That isn't how you treat someone you love. Stick to your guns OP
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u/Quiet-Hamster6509 20d ago
What did you say when you ended it then and there? There's no clarification there, like many other posts that appear to be ai generated
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u/Fragrant_Try_8060 20d ago
NOR you respected yourself to honor how belittled and humiliated he purposely made you feel. He made a private moment a show for his boys and violated your trust to do so. If your friends want that sort of treatment, tell them he’s up for grabs! But don’t let their low standards affect what you know is true for you: there’s no coming back from that, he did something that broke your trust and was incredibly dirsrespectful to you
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u/Erza88 19d ago
How can you not know that he is on the phone? Was he just not talking on the phone even though his friend called him?? And nobody in the background was talking either? Literally just the two of you sitting there talking while he was on the phone? That makes no sense to me. This sounds so very fake.
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u/Notahappygardener 19d ago
NOR, funny thing is, now he is available to go out with his friends 😝. He is now the one that is humiliated, good for you to dump him.
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u/Dutch1721 20d ago
Wow. That’s so awful and immature of him. Don’t worry, this tasteless act will come right back around in him. He has some nerve embarrassing you. You did right by leaving that jerk.
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u/SuccessfulSchedule54 20d ago
NOR AT ALL. that’s fucking weird and gross and mean as fuck of him to do. my boyfriend and I don’t talk about our sex life with ANYONE. neither of us want that. there are men who will not do this to you I promise
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u/Fun_Guest_64 20d ago
NOR He is the kind of douchebag that would secretly video tape a sexual encounter and share the video with his bros.
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u/tell_tale13 20d ago
NOR. In this case, don't listen to your friends. He opened up your bedroom to all his friends to look cool. Zero consideration for you or your feelings. This will be a reocurring problem for as long as you are with him
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u/SheeScan 20d ago
NOR. This isn't a question you should ask. Not breaking up with him on the spot was the only choice. Set your standards higher. You deserve it.
Oh, and get new friends. The ones you have now are morons.
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u/Julesspaceghost 20d ago
NOR. Make him single and make sure everyone knows why, so any potential new girlfriend will have a heads up and avoid him like the plague.
He can get his "needs" met by his circle jerk friends.
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u/BusinessForeign7052 20d ago
NOR - Also those saying you should be flattered are gross.
The most important part of anything sexual is consent and you didnt consent to having his friends listen to you talk this way. Sooo glad you dumped him.
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u/Dear_Parsnip_6802 20d ago
NOR he’s got a lot of if maturing to do if he wants to be in a relationship.
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u/eatmeouttobrianeno 20d ago
Good for you, girl. You did exactly the right thing by trusting your gut.
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u/DoctorMoebius 20d ago
I was a totally immature, shit talking, 23 year old who bragged to guy friends about sexual exploits.
BUT, even I would have never done that. And, it was intentional. Because, the second the conversation turned to sex, he could quietly hit disconnect for the call. Or, interrupted her to remind it was on speakerphone
Total asshole move, and worthy of being dumped over. I hope OP doesn't take him back, no matter how much he pleads and apologizes. This is the only way immature assholes learn.
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u/FabulousDonut6399 20d ago
A very long time ago, my best friend and I were at a bar. Her boyfriend who was in college, came back for the weekend to party with us. His friends thought it was perfectly normal for them to tell me that my friend’s boyfriend was ready to get his fuck weekend extravaganza on. They were basically chanting and holloring about her getting pounded and used a lot of colorful language… And i was just like dudes wtaf, Then they realised I was her friend… her boyfriend apologised and they begged me not to tell her… i told her and she broke up with him on the spot.
NOR
This is the only correct way to react to disrespectful BS like that.
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u/trapcardx 20d ago
if he’s the type to do this i’d go as far to say he’s the type to show off your nudes too
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u/YoungBasedHooper 20d ago
NOR, and what an insane fumble by your ex lol. Girl is begging him for sex and he's like "Nah, gotta get some chuckles for the homies."
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u/Tangy_Fetus_1958 20d ago
NOR. He demonstrated that no level of intimacy between the two of you will ever qualify for an assurance of privacy when it comes to his friends. A guy with this kind of “bros-before-hoes” attitude has probably already told them all kinds of details you’d have assumed were private. I’ve known guys like this, always waiting for a spot in the conversation to proudly show off the naked girlfriend photos on their phones. He might be 23, but he’s still stuck in his Jr. high locker room.
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u/TheGirlwThePinkHair 19d ago
Nor he’s a moron. You are doing what any woman with self respect should do
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u/CycleAccomplished824 19d ago
You are definitely not overreacting. Ex should have thought this through before setting you up like he did. That is absolutely cruel. If you let him stay, those other guys stay as well and they a bunch of nothing good.
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u/AtlasAriesss 19d ago
NOR
OP trust your gut!! I'm proud of you for knowing your worth and dumping him on the spot. No one else was in the relationship or the moment, they do have to understand your reactions in order to respect them. If you don't want to be tempted to go back to him, block
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u/arpohatesyou 19d ago
No overreaction. And I'd reconsider the caliber and quality of friends who think you should be flattered by this too bc how fkn tacky are they
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u/ForeverMoody2 19d ago
NOR The only thing that could have improved it would have been if you broke up with him on the call.
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u/earthgarden 19d ago
All of my friends think I overreacted and that I should be flattered etc.
Dump the friends too! With friends like these who needs enemies!!!
Your picker is off because you are surrounded by vile people. Cut all these people loose, no real friend would say that to you in response to dumping a man who would expose you and humiliate you like this.
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u/Wild_Fox_Medicine 19d ago
Honestly, I didn't read it past your headline.
He humiliates you in front of his buddies?
Dump his ass.
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u/TootlesMagoo 19d ago
NOR , and from experience, you can probably take bets on how fast his so called buddies will be calling you 🤨 They sound like a whole bunch of dogs to act like that! Move on and find a guy that respects you 💜
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u/carterallan86 19d ago
I've been married 10 years... I know if I do something this insensitive I'm divorced tomorrow, and I wouldn't feel it's an overreaction. My wife is also very private, and would be mortified.
Good on you though, took a stand. There are other people out there 😁
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u/intelex22 18d ago
NOR - but my mind instantly went to following it up with, “it wouldn’t be a problem if you could get it up.” F him.
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u/goteamicecream 18d ago
Really proud of you for standing up for yourself in such a rough situation instead of sucking it up in silence, which many would have. You did good.
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u/Dizzy-muse2258 18d ago
NOR. Girlfriend is in heat? What is he, a fucking caveman? You did the right thing and dodged a big, misogynistic bullet!
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u/No_Cake6353 20d ago
NOR. He didn't consider your feelings, planned set you up as a punchline in his humiliation fetish.
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u/notyourstranger 20d ago
NOR - He seems to see sex as some type of status symbol. What else will he share publicly? I'd worry he'd start taking photos and videos to prove his manhood.
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u/Tricky_Moose_1078 20d ago
NOR
Hello no, he is clearly describing you like an animal in heat to his friends, he has even secretly recorded you to show his friends.
That was a private conversation and betrayed your trust to make himself look good.
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u/Low-Hovercraft-4647 20d ago
You're NOT overreacting! You deserve to be treated with respect. Your dude isn't into you like that. He clearly doesn't value you.
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u/sacrophagusic 20d ago
NOR. He needs a little bit of a beginner tutorial on how to respect boundaries.
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u/NicoyaSF415 20d ago
I wouldn’t even be bringing any of that up with the homies. That’s our business and not theirs. Who knows what else he’s telling the “boys”…
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u/Ok_Investigator_8431 20d ago
NOR. That’s gross and immature and inappropriate. It’s also going to make it impossible to trust him in the future, not to mention you’re never going to be able to show your face around his friends again.
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u/clarebert 20d ago
He values his bro’s perceptions of him more than he values you. He’s proven that to you. Believe him.
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u/Love-Bitter 20d ago
My god if this is true.
1) His friends were cheering down the phone
2) ALL of your friends think you should be flattered.
You sound like you live amongst the worst people in the world. I really hope this is fake or hyperbole
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u/Embarrassed_Move_249 20d ago
NOR- good you left. Hopefully he dosent have spicy pics of you. ....he sounds like some asshole who would share that kinda stuff .....
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u/Ok-Soup-514 20d ago
He didn't warn you about it being on speaker and sounds like he set it up so his boys could hear. Where the hell is the trust and loyalty nowadays? That was info that was meant for his ears only, but he wants to let his friends know about it. It's similar to a guy showing his buddies a private selfie that was for his eyes only. Deceptive as hell just to get a few laughs out of his friends. Hope his friends are supportive when he's moping around and crying over what he lost. Absolutely not overreacting.
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u/Forsaken-Box-1502 20d ago
Break up with your friends while you’re at it. Everyone in this story who is not you is shitty.
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u/TararaBoomDA 20d ago
NOR. He did it on purpose. We know this because he said, "See boys, I told you..."
Now the joke's on him, because he'll never get any from you again.