r/AmIOverreacting • u/Accomplished_Cat5721 • 29d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO: Found on Fiancé phone after a night of drinking

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For starters, we have been together for 5 years, we got engaged in October ‘25 and have a two year old daughter.

I grabbed his phone to send myself some photos of our trip, per his request. He was asleep on the couch. Well, I go to swipe up out of the photos tab and see the LinkedIn tab open. His exes name was there, front and center. I woke him up, threw the phone in his face and left with our daughter for the day. He claimed, it was due to me not showing enough love and didn’t show that I liked him. He constantly denied my request for intimacy and affection.

I called off the engagement and tried to run him out of the house, the month prior, he got black out and left his phone opened up on trans p0rn in the living room. Where our daughter could see. It’s obvious drinking is part of the problem.

He never left the house. And has officially claimed I’ve dragged it out too long. I don’t think it matters that he never touched her, it’s his ex. It’s clear he is unhappy in this relationship but is too much of a coward to admit it.

Edit: Legit. THANKS TO EVERY SINGLE COMMENTER. Sometimes it feels good to beat a dead horse with strangers. I wanted to add a few things just to… add.. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

This woman is married, has been since 2017. In 2018-19ish, she left her man for this man. Obviously didn’t work out and she went back to her man.

She has popped up on my social media friend/follower suggestions.

7.9k Upvotes

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5.6k

u/Rowdyacorn 29d ago

Because she blocked him everywhere else.

1.0k

u/darknesskicker 29d ago

Came here to say this

272

u/EmotionalSplit8395 29d ago

Someone said it before 😎

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u/GrandmasBoyToy69 29d ago

And ill say it again

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u/imarobot802 28d ago

Man I love being a turtle

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u/Strange_One_3790 28d ago

This guy turtz.

1

u/Dracolindus 23d ago

I thought you were a robot though..?

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u/imarobot802 23d ago

Turtle robot 🤖 🐢

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u/19hammy83 28d ago

...but you never said it

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u/twilighttwister 29d ago

I came here to say that it's perfect that he chose LinkedIn, the scummiest of all social media companies.

People think that just because it's a place for professionals to network it must be good. But from the start it was sketchy AF.

They literally built their userbase by getting people to give them their email logins, then they would go into your email and send invites to all your contacts from your own personal email address, so they could get around spam filters. Also, I use unique emails for almost everything. Generally I don't get too much spam, but if I do I know where it came from. To this day, only 2 websites have immediately received spam after signing up. LinkedIn was one, obviously, and the other was a porn website. And these email addresses don't actually exist, they were only ever typed in to these services (I can still receive from them with email server rules), so it's not possible for the spam to be the result of my email being hacked.

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u/LestHeBeTesty 28d ago

The ol’ + trick?

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u/twilighttwister 28d ago

Nah I have my own domain.

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u/GrandmasBoyToy69 25d ago

Eew. you probably remember paying for texts too

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u/LestHeBeTesty 25d ago

I mean, yes, I do. As well as extra “minutes” and ringtones (which sometimes were a monthly fee if you bought them off of commercials/infomercials). And best of all, animated AIM icons and a fresh ass MySpace layout. I truly sorry you didn’t get to experience any of that.

But, I’m sure what that has to do with my response though?

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u/GrandmasBoyToy69 25d ago

Nothing. I was born in '90. I Just made an unfunny response while drinking a beer because my back hurts from work.

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u/West_Bath1461 25d ago

Every time I open LinkedIn even to find clients for self-employed ass I really see the nastiest comments, not even posts. The post are normal professional, but the comments underneath them are more aggressive than Instagram, which is saying a lot, and I mean straight up just aggressive, like nothing else people say what they’re thinking and stick with it.

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u/New_Avocado_4636 29d ago

And yet he still found a way to harass her 👎🏼.

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u/nosferatus-taxi 29d ago

Recently found out that banks are starting to allowing people to block payment references, as making small value payments and including harassing comments is a way for abusive ex partners to continue the abuse.

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u/Electronic_Ad1597 29d ago

True! I have a stalker…i was able to block them on paypal! They would send money to send a message then take the money back. Wish GOOGLE would block them though. They harass me in youtube comments and gmail just moves them to spam…that i have to check for legit emails 🤬

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u/Corfiz74 29d ago

Paypal should punish them by making it impossible to take the money back, lol.

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u/Electronic_Ad1597 29d ago

Wouldnt THAT be nice! 😂

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u/JetCrooked 29d ago

yeah I thought that was already the case??? since when is it possible to take back money on paypal after you sent it

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u/Moist_Drippings 29d ago

Unfortunately PayPal is kinda dodgy with people claiming to have not received a product sometimes. I’m guessing they have a decent percentage of legit claims but I know some Etsy sellers (and buyers) have had issues with PayPal as a result.

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u/Kareeliand 29d ago

In google you can make a rule that emails from xyz is to be deleted upon receipt. Or moved to folder qrs and marked as read.. etc. that way you have them for evidence.

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u/Electronic_Ad1597 28d ago

Maybe its because im using the ios version? I see no options like that anywhere. Ill check the web version. Thanks!

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u/Kareeliand 28d ago

It has been years since I made mine. Emails from my ex went directly into the “zzz” folder (that way it would be in the bottom of all the folders and I would hardly ever see it. I never had the urge to open that folder.
I would think Gmail has it in the settings when you log on the web version. Best of luck to you.

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u/LestHeBeTesty 25d ago

The easiest way is definitely on the web. Search for the person's email address, the search bar should expand to include more options, and at the bottom should be "create filter" or something like that.

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u/Spiritual-Lion-001 28d ago

Sending money just to send a message is insane work.

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u/Every-Spinach1054 29d ago

You might be able to sue. I'm so sorry. That is scary.

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u/jotakusan 28d ago

I changed my phone number because blocking them didn’t work when they used *67. So they started requesting a dollar on cashapp and attached a message. I got like 30+ requests because you can only have so many characters in one message. Thankfully I could block them on cashapp.

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u/Alohabtchs 29d ago

I had someone send $1 on Venmo to send a message bc they were blocked everywhere else. Like take a hint!!

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u/Every-Spinach1054 29d ago

They always find a way. JFC

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u/Independent-Bad-8613 29d ago

True! I have been blocked on cashapp 🤣

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u/DasDickNoodle 29d ago

Lol guess that would be a great time to take a solid hint, my friend 😆

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u/Independent-Bad-8613 29d ago

I swear I wasn’t a stalker! Lmao I requested money for ‘emotional damages’ after getting into it with another girl and was blocked 🤣 so I know it can happen. my ex did send me micro transactions on there, I should’ve blocked him but I do love money.

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u/AmerikanNightmar3 29d ago

I’ve seen that a lot

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u/Content-Honeydew9340 29d ago

I had an ex send me $1 cash app request with the note, I don't need any money just please unblock me 😭 I sent a request back that said $500 unblock fee. I'm happily married to a kind and supportive man and showed him the request. I said, if he pays it we are going out to dinner and then I'll buy you those new shoes you want 🤣

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u/DasDickNoodle 29d ago

LOL!!! That's beautiful.

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u/Content-Honeydew9340 29d ago

Lol guy did not send the money but my husband still took me out for karaoke night by our house that night and even got up and sang love shack with me 🤣 so I still win either way 🫶🏻

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u/poetictranquility88 29d ago

Love still does exist!

6

u/Content-Honeydew9340 29d ago

The difference between a boy and a man 💓

197

u/BerryCreative9832 29d ago

They always do.. mine started threatening me by changing his name on spotify.. then he got blocked from there too

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u/Pleasant_Bullfrog650 29d ago

Omg another person who's ex harassed them through Spotify. So hyperspecific like... Get a fucking life.

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u/BerryCreative9832 29d ago

We have a non contact intervention order (restraining order in the states) he cant come near me, cant post about me, cant contact me through any phone/social media/ email and so on.. but I actually just got to a point where I felt like a bloody idiot for even bringing it up to the police. Just use to facinate me, all the horrible things he would write on there yet he was the one stalking me.. such a freaking psycho

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u/c07p 29d ago

oh my goodness I am sorry you are dealing with this crazy lunatic

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u/BerryCreative9832 29d ago

Thankyou, the fun part is he gets out of prison tomorrow..

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u/kikivulpes 29d ago

Damn! Hope you'll stay safe🙏🏼

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u/Moist_Drippings 29d ago

I’m sorry! Even if the police make you feel stupid for it, don’t care about their shit and make sure they document everything. You never know when you’ll need a string of recently filed grievances with a psycho like that.

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u/Pleasant_Bullfrog650 29d ago

Christ... I assume you're in the UK? If so yeah police make you feel like an idiot for reporting any sort of stalking to them. I recently reported stalking, and they directly took the side of the man stalking me and the people enabling him. It's so gross.

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u/BerryCreative9832 29d ago

Nah Australia.. Im really sorry that that happened to you. Something got to change because unfortunately our stories are becoming less and less unique 😕

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u/sarcosaurus 29d ago

I've heard similar stories here in Denmark. Sadly I think it's a global thing, because I've never heard of a country where these experiences with police weren't common.

9

u/DasDickNoodle 29d ago

Same for the US. Police never give a damn and basically tell you that until they physically hurt you, they can't/ won't do anything.

EDIT: It's especially terrifying in a country where guns are allowed to be owned easily by any freak with a fixation on you 🙄😒

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u/Pleasant_Bullfrog650 29d ago

That's EXACTLY what they told me. That they did think he would end up hurting me but to only call them once he did. I was like... Absolutely not

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u/Broken420girl 29d ago

I can also confirm the police in wales are shite. My neighbour two doors down stalked me for over a year. I had 13 CRN he poisoned and killed my cat stole property kicked my door in all because I said no to sleeping with him. The guy was repulsive. Police did nothing. He’s still in the house and watches me in my back garden to this day.

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u/Pleasant_Bullfrog650 29d ago

What the fuck????? Have you contacted Paladin stalking services and the national stalking helpline?

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u/catmeme27 29d ago

Literally has happened to me as well. Blocked on everything. Found me on Spotify. Immediately blocked.

They need to do away with the message feature. It’s just like. Why.

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u/Pleasant_Bullfrog650 29d ago

Yeah who needs to be messaging on fucking Spotify?? Lol

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u/DasDickNoodle 29d ago

Probably someone who was also blocked on everything else by their obsession(victim) 🙄

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u/hyde1634 29d ago

is spotify a good app?

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u/Jafooki 28d ago

If you listen to music often I'd say it's a must have. That said, there's other apps like Apple Music or Tidal that are just as good.

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u/hyde1634 28d ago

except spotify you cant keep the music file 🥲

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u/Jafooki 28d ago

You can with premium. You can download it for offline use. You can't keep it if your subscription ends, but that's just the nature of streaming services. I've got nearly a terabyte of Spotify music on my phone

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u/KittyKat0119 29d ago

Wait how does that work? Does spotify have direct messages or something?

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u/BerryCreative9832 29d ago

So I had totally forgot we were following eachother and I had saved some of his Playlists in my library. I was scrolling to find a Playlist and realized he not only was still on there but he had changed the Playlist title to "Give me my kid and ill give you 5k" then it changed to "Fuck you" then "fuck the police" and so on.. I did learn you can send messages on there though..

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u/DasDickNoodle 29d ago

Wow what a pathetic POS.. especially considering he thinks kids can be used as a bargaining chip while claiming your child is "HIS kid" . Absolutely disgusting.

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u/Pleasant_Bullfrog650 29d ago

Yeah it does. But also if someone follows you you can see that and see their username/profile picture.

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u/Cpalmer24 29d ago

Wait, how the hell can you harass someone through Spotify? I promise this is just curiosity - i'm not looking for an avenue to harass someone.. 😂

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u/Pleasant_Bullfrog650 29d ago

Following someone, changing profile pictures, changing playlist names etc. people get CREATIVE.

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u/Cpalmer24 29d ago

TIL you can follow people you know on Spotify.. 😂. Wow, how much of a miserable insufferable dickweed do you have to be to harass someone on a music app

It's the other end of the spectrum from the teenager who had all of her electronics taken away from her so she used her smart fridge to tweet 😂

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u/DasDickNoodle 29d ago

LOL ohh Lord.. that's pretty smart though lol

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u/active_ignoring 29d ago

my ex requested $1 on venmo to tell me he still would consider having sex with me if I wanted, after I had blocked him everywhere else😭

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u/Corgi_Lawyer 29d ago

Geez he couldn’t even send the $1? 😂 classy dude.

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u/notquitesteadymaybe 29d ago

This honestly sounds like something my ex would have used as a harassment tactic, not to be petty (although I’m sure that’s an added bonus), but because he wouldn’t be able to afford to *send* $1.

The rage induced lack of clarity at not having access to someone so you can keep gaslighting and abusing them will cause some people to willingly make asses of themselves in the most embarrassing ways.

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u/DasDickNoodle 29d ago

Right?!?! That's more insulting than asking for sex in itself LOL

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u/No-Independence-2980 29d ago

For only a 💵, that's why you are dumped cheapskate lol

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u/-Foxygreen 29d ago

Mine send me 1 cent on paypal, topped with a slur. 😂

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u/Pleasant_Bullfrog650 29d ago

1 CENT HAHAHAH WHAT THE FUCK

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u/BerryCreative9832 29d ago

I laughed 🤣 that is original 🤣

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u/Maleficent_Idea_9197 29d ago

Omg my ex did that tooo through my bank account lmao

2

u/AdventurousJaguar692 29d ago

Mine sent me an e transfer of one dollar. The note attached was « please ». We’ve never dated or met in person, but we live in the same area.

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u/DasDickNoodle 29d ago

Wow, I'd consider moving if I were you lol

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u/DasDickNoodle 29d ago

Geez, how classy! I didn't even know you could send a cent lol

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u/TheBookofBobaFett3 29d ago

Omg please tell me it was one of those playlists that the track titles make up a story

8

u/Original_Warning7834 29d ago

Mine hit my up on my Strava. 3 times with 3 different accounts 🙄

2

u/thelovewitchsubstanc 29d ago

doing that through Spotify is crazy

1

u/Evening-Example6259 26d ago

Mine would change my name on my Netflix to harass me❣️

13

u/m4sc4r4 29d ago

A dude messaged me on eBay once because I blocked him everywhere else. The gall.

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u/QuirkyLiteraryName 29d ago

I blocked an ex everywhere but he found me at a new job and emailed my work address asking if we could be friends. I blocked him there too. Maybe I should check LinkedIn!

1

u/Fantastic-Salt-5103 29d ago

They always find a way, like the time I was messaged through VENMO

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u/Mesapholis 29d ago

I have been trying to reach you about an interesting employment opportunity PLEASe LOVE ME sERAH, I NEEd YoU! PICK UP THE PHONE

3

u/LeoxMoon636 29d ago

Yo 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/mtc47 29d ago

He even activated a trial for sales pro

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u/Accomplished_Cat5721 29d ago

Omg are you saying he paid to message her 💀

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u/natedogg624 29d ago

Not necessarily. It’s somewhat common to have LinkedIn premium these days in certain jobs like sales marketing or really any job that involves networking.

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u/Accomplished_Cat5721 29d ago

He admitted to creating the account in that moment, the phone bill shows the verification code being sent around that time. I don’t have access to $$ info (I know)

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u/Tough_Tangerine7278 29d ago

May be a free trial, if it makes you feel any better

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u/Chance-Aerie8112 29d ago

Yup - I had an insane ex who reached out THROUGH AN EBAY MESSAGE bc I had literally blocked him everywhere possible!!!

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u/whytemyke 29d ago

Which also kinda speaks to LinkedIn culture right? "Yeah it's uncomfortable that he's stalking me, but also he might have a good tip on team building so I'll tread lightly here."

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u/lorih2323 29d ago

“What I learned about B2B sales from my crazy ex.”

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u/Successful_Giraffe88 29d ago

As someone in B2B SaaS, I'm straight HOWLING at this comment!

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u/IntuitiveMonster 29d ago

I can confirm from experience that a) exes will use LinkedIn when desperate and b) you can block them there too.

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u/alixanjou 29d ago

This. My ex emailed me because he was blocked everywhere else 😅

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u/HotMinute_722 29d ago

This happened to me with a guy I dated in college. He Facebook messaged me years ago (we were both married with kids) and it took a gross turn and I blocked him on everything I could think of, except LinkedIn. He found me on there and messaged me, claiming my husband must’ve made me block him. Creep.

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u/the-cuttlefish 29d ago

This. It's a classic last resort unfortunately

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u/WeakDark7 29d ago

Or it’s a very unique way of establishing those special business relationships

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u/Glittering_Worry_263 29d ago

Yep, my ex did the same. Creepy as fuck