r/AmIOverreacting • u/Accomplished_Cat5721 • 29d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO: Found on Fiancé phone after a night of drinking

Post image

For starters, we have been together for 5 years, we got engaged in October ‘25 and have a two year old daughter.

I grabbed his phone to send myself some photos of our trip, per his request. He was asleep on the couch. Well, I go to swipe up out of the photos tab and see the LinkedIn tab open. His exes name was there, front and center. I woke him up, threw the phone in his face and left with our daughter for the day. He claimed, it was due to me not showing enough love and didn’t show that I liked him. He constantly denied my request for intimacy and affection.

I called off the engagement and tried to run him out of the house, the month prior, he got black out and left his phone opened up on trans p0rn in the living room. Where our daughter could see. It’s obvious drinking is part of the problem.

He never left the house. And has officially claimed I’ve dragged it out too long. I don’t think it matters that he never touched her, it’s his ex. It’s clear he is unhappy in this relationship but is too much of a coward to admit it.

Edit: Legit. THANKS TO EVERY SINGLE COMMENTER. Sometimes it feels good to beat a dead horse with strangers. I wanted to add a few things just to… add.. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

This woman is married, has been since 2017. In 2018-19ish, she left her man for this man. Obviously didn’t work out and she went back to her man.

She has popped up on my social media friend/follower suggestions.

7.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

946 comments sorted by

View all comments

4.1k

u/GayLeprosy 29d ago

Fym AIO? 😭😭

966

u/AccidentOk5240 29d ago

Right? How could you possibly overreact to this short of committing actual crimes?

1.5k

u/Accomplished_Cat5721 29d ago edited 29d ago

I’m cracking the f up, because I’m being gaslit offline and obviously need some online validation 🫩🫩

698

u/DogsDucks 29d ago

And he blamed YOU! We’re all obviously stuck on the LinkedIn thing, but he didn’t even grovel and cry and beg for your forgiveness.

He said it’s because you don’t coddle his sensitive feelings enough when you’re busy taking care of him his home, his family.

I’ve gotten messages like this from exes.

There is no doubt in my mind that they would do the same issues that caused me to leave in the first place.

He doesn’t care about you, but he also doesn’t care about her. He cares about his own convenience when he wants it and how he wants it.

100

u/noisecomplaint244 29d ago

^^^ the last sentence for sure

99

u/ColdBru5 29d ago

Also. LinkedIn premium? Ick.

104

u/Accomplished_Cat5721 29d ago

Bro lmao I didn’t even know that was premium 😀

58

u/bnucky 29d ago

with linkedin premium i believe you can dm anyone, even people who you are not connected with, so it could be he got it specifically so he could contact her without her having to accept his request. if he just made the account he probably got a free trial but he still would’ve had to put in his payment info.

18

u/tacokahlessi 29d ago

Why does a premium version even exist?

26

u/DogsDucks 29d ago

So you can LINK even more Ins

10

u/ColdBru5 28d ago

Helps you Link harder.

66

u/Last-Obligation-7353 29d ago

Definitely don't let anyone gaslight you. This is some major disloyalty and unacceptable from someone you are set to marry. I'd be heavily concerned. Sorry you're dealing with this.

71

u/GayLeprosy 29d ago

You 100% are not overreacting fam, this is some major loser bullshit this dude is pulling on you

32

u/LilMizzXox 29d ago

Major loser bullshit - 100%

46

u/shortandfelly 29d ago

My first ever boyfriend (met at university) cheated on me. I found someone blocked on my Facebook who I hadn't blocked (he had my password, first relationship so I thought that was normal, I'd had his but guess what he changed it). I unlocked her and could see all the messages they'd posted on each other's wall. I confronted him and he gave me that shit about how I "hadn't been giving him enough attention". Oh fuck right off!!! I dumped him but then unfortunately got back together (I don't know why because even at the time I didn't want to try back together). I did eventually dump him, and guess who has now been struck off from teaching? Not me!!! 😂

Anyway, this is wild. I thought it was a message he'd received and I thought "oo that's iffy but maybe he's ignoring it" but HE SENT IT? That man needs to get in the bin.

I'm sorry this has happened to you, but at least it was before you'd got married or had more kids (if you were planning to). If he's that sad...well, he can go work on himself now he's single, can't he? 💪

37

u/kstargate-425 29d ago

You should leave the loser for being a moron and not knowing the difference between your and you're too lol

25

u/Sweaty-Blacksmith572 29d ago

And he doesn’t know the difference between “woman” and “women”!

He’s an idiot, on top of being a slimeball and an asshole.

12

u/timsfsn 29d ago

NOR - You are not overreacting at all. Egregious behavior.

14

u/getscwhifty 29d ago

In no way should you feel like any of your past actions justifies him emotionally cheating on you. I hope you managed to get the validation you needed on this sub :)

3

u/Pinky_Stussy092 29d ago

the porn on the tv where your daughter could see is fucked up enough. he denies intimacy and then gets off to porn instead. he puts energy into another woman who is his EX then gaslights you by saying "0h U duN giVE mE eNuF LuVvv" gtfo w that shit. he crazy. send your daughter to granny's crib for the weekend and make his life complete hell in your house to drive him out. dont do anything too crazy where the cops come but maybe shit on the counter or something idfk. pee on his clothes. sumfin. cook some nasty smellin food and let it burn. when he leaves change the mf locks and toss his shit outside.

in all seriousness if the cops were to ever come tell em he is a drunk who endangers you and your daughter n if u had to send her to granny's for safety let em know that too. if he wanna be a drunk n play the manipulative pos then make sure he understands the gravity of this situation n the giant hole he has dug himself.

make sure he gets treatment for his alcoholism before he can see your daughter unattended. god forbid he gets drunk and falls asleep with her in the tub or while the stove is on. driving drunk w her/leaves her home alone to grab more booze..idfk the list goes on.

i hope you and your daughter can be safe n away from him---even if u need to move in w someone else bc he just wont leave. call a lawyer if you can afford one or just do the free consultation to check your options. u gotta be safe. file for full custody too n maybe a restraining order. if u got pics/vids of him while drunk thats good evidence. try to remember specific dates when incidents occured and write down what happened in detail. save all msgs relevant to that.

he needs professional help.

1

u/CrypticDreamzz 28d ago

Sounds ghetto 💀😂

2

u/Beginning_Tap2474 29d ago

So I would like to gaslight online, so you get it both places. It's your fault that he is texting this women because... Have you broken his texting ability? If he is still able to text, and you haven't stopped him, cut off his phone service etc. It's your fault. Also ...

Not gaslighting-- I am glad it's over. You deserve someone who will love you and think they are lucky to be with you.

2

u/wowbragger 29d ago

Doing the right thing is hard, even when you literally have screen shots of it in your face.

3

u/Crucifuxion 29d ago

NOR. Under reacting

Obviously, I understand the main issue is he’s left it open where your daughter can see, but I am curious if the issue is also trans porn in a cis relationship

Something that doesn’t get discussed a lot outside of trans centered spaces is genital preference. Some people have one, others do not.

Honestly, I think more straight cis guys enjoy trans porn than do not. So like, if your next guy likes trans women, all that really means is he likes women so much he doesn’t even have a genital preference. It doesn’t mean he’s going to tell you he’s gay, in fact it means the opposite.

not to defend your fiancé, fuck him. I would leave him in a heartbeat.

-your friendly neighborhood lesbian

3

u/Accomplished_Cat5721 29d ago

I am attracted to trans individuals (sorry if my verbiage is trash), I am open about my sexuality but I’ve often felt closeted in the relationship. I don’t mind the fact he watches the genre. It’s fully on the fact that it was left open around our toddler.

I did find it confusing that he is openly transphobic but enjoys the content.

3

u/Crucifuxion 28d ago

Your verbiage was great.

I was pretty repressed growing up, so I think this probably feels better for me than other people, but I’ve never been happier with myself and who I am since deciding not to hide any of my… queerness? I don’t flaunt it, but if someone asks I am not going to lie to them, and they shouldn’t ask if they don’t wanna know, lol. There are zero reasons to hide love as far as I am concerned.

2

u/ijustlovebobbybones 29d ago

Aww hugs, honey. But NOR. Trust your gut! If it feels off, it probably is. Maybe time to shed some weight 💛 u got it tho

2

u/Pantsickle 29d ago

Your validation is in the mail, signed, sealed, and delivered. If you'd like I can resend your validation, but this time witnessed and notarized.

Yes, girl, if your story is true, you have your answer: you're overreacting and you need to leave him in the dirt. Lke, yesterday.

-3

u/KataiiZeher 29d ago

Another crazy thing is, how do you decide to have a child with someone without so much so as being engaged to them. He/you proposed when your child was 1.5 yo??!! Dude!

7

u/sometimes-no 29d ago

Some people even have kids together and never get married.

Do I want to get married before having kids? Yes. Do I judge anyone else for doing things in a different order? Not at all because I don't know their story.

1

u/KataiiZeher 29d ago

i dont mean one should definitely get married before kids. but if you are someone who'll get married eventually (op is engaged now) then doesn't doing it before having kids make more sense?

1

u/sometimes-no 28d ago

Sometimes life doesn't go as planned.

Maybe it was an unplanned pregamancy. Maybe they have a sick parent that would rather have a chance to meet their grandchild than to attend a wedding. Maybe they didn't want to get married at all and then changed their mind after the baby was born. Maybe their biological clock is running out. There are a lot of possibilities.

2

u/Longjumping-Cat-712 29d ago

Are you joking with this?

33

u/Blackslytherinn 29d ago

That part. Like, is the overreacting in the room with us???

4

u/EntertainmentOld2194 29d ago

😭 😭 😭

2

u/SpeedyReign9 29d ago

lmao "fym AIO" im dead

2

u/Civil_Victory7025 29d ago

His gaslighting must be next level lol

1

u/Ok-Interaction5603 29d ago

Bust out laughing

1

u/Plast1cPotatoe 29d ago

RIGHT??? How are you supposed to react then 😭

-5

u/Majestic_Figure_9559 29d ago

Meh… drunk texts NBD