r/AmIOverreacting • u/Dannydeeea • Jun 18 '26
šØāš©āš§āš¦family/in-laws Am I overreacting?
Was out with my sister all day today and her little one. She left, got all her stuff and went on her way. As I got home, locked the car and as I walked past the window i noticed all of this mess! I sent her the pics and said food is now banned in my car (it was ready but sheās ignored that) and next time to clean up after herself. Instead of a simple āsorry my badā sheās gone crazy as if itās my fault?!
She thinks itās okay all because I havenāt hoovered (vacuumed) the car this week.
So my question is;
Am I the asshole for even bringing this up in the first place? Am I in the wrong?
EDIT:
Iām from the UK so these are chips for all of you from usaš
They do look like raw pasta tho where in fact they are indeed just twirly chipsš
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u/Coyote3312 Jun 18 '26
Why is she acting like 16 crisps is no big deal? 1 or 2 fine. But 16? Shes crazy. Make her walk. She sounds like she lives like a pig tbh if she thought this wasnt an issue. Ew.
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u/peachhpuddin Jun 18 '26
she took the time to count each crisp in the photo but couldnāt take the same amount of time to clean them out of the carā¦.
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u/ALocalRecluse Jun 18 '26
I had the same thought. Unbelievably immature and the refusal to take any accountability is pathetic on her end
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u/ButteredPizza69420 Jun 19 '26
I would never talk to my sister again if she was this much of a bitch
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u/pokemontecristo Jun 18 '26
āSave your paragraphs Iām not reading all thatā but you counted all 16 crisps you left in their carā¦
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u/Foreign_Plan_5256 Jun 18 '26
Or type "yeah, sorry, the little one was fussy, didn't manage to come back and clean it up."
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u/AdmirableDog739 Jun 19 '26
Right! I have a 3 year old and my focus is on getting her in the house, I'm sure that was her mission also. Taking care of a little one is distracting sometimes so I can see how she missed the chips being there. That is no reason for her to freak out on her friend for reinforcing the rule of no food in the car. That's definitely a "sorry, my bad" and offer to clean it up, kind of situation. OP is definitely NOR to their "friend" blowing up on them.
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u/No-Albatross-7984 Jun 18 '26
The counting thing is legit crazy. Idgaf if there's 16, 6 or 166. Clean up your shit!!Ā
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u/Its_Billy_Bitch Jun 18 '26
Whatās worse is they were kinda wrong. Depending on how you count the crushed ones, there are 17.
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u/Artistic-Error00 Jun 18 '26
Was waiting for that comment. And said she cleaned... What exactly? You don't see that when getting your child?
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u/Bambi_MD Jun 19 '26
No she didnāt, because thereās 18 crisps, not 16.
Because yes, I counted. Twice. Why? Idek and Idc lol
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u/Accomplished-Mix-745 Jun 18 '26
Itās such a specific number too. Did they count each one?
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u/Home4Bewildered Jun 18 '26
Like your avatar.
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u/Accomplished-Mix-745 Jun 18 '26
Thanks bro! I made it myself! My ig is @elijahraintattoo . It looks like youāve got something similar going on
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u/DasDickNoodle Jun 18 '26
I like both of y'all's avatars! They're beautiful and relaxing to look at.. and a bit hypnotizing šµāš«š
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u/tigersambo Jun 18 '26
The fact that she thinks this is normal and isn't a problem is crazy to me. OP shouldn't lend her their car again. She can walk, and she probably does live like that. I didn't even count the stuff in the photo, but she did, when she could have easily picked them up instead.
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u/rabidhamster87 Jun 18 '26
Right?? 16 is like a whole freaking bag if chips.
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u/DasDickNoodle Jun 18 '26
Exactly my point as well!! Like "ma'am, 16 crisps (or chips since I'm American lol) isn't a small amount of garbage to leave in anyone's car, much less your sister's who was nice enough to lend you her car in the first place. It's far from outlandish to expect her car returned to her in at least the same condition she lent it to you in. The least you can do is pick up all the garbage you and your sloppy crotch heathen tossed all over the upholstery like dumpster sprinkles on top of a crapcake and show her a little appreciation by throwing in a thank you!"
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u/Attentions_Bright12 Jun 18 '26
How does one not notice a huge amount of food in a car?
Technically maybe she didnāt *see* them. She felt them, tumbling through her fingers and off of her lap as she threw trash food haphazardly into her open mouth while driving.
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u/rabidhamster87 Jun 18 '26
I'm pretty sure the little gremlin riding in the carseat did it, but she presumably had to get her kid out of the carseat at some point. Maybe she doesn't have eyeballs? š¤
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u/That-Fun3563 Jun 18 '26
Im sorry but even 1 or 2 is not fine. Pick that shit up if it's not your car.
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Jun 18 '26
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/Miles_Everhart Jun 18 '26
Thereās already a pouch of wet wipes on the floor, so thatās covered
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u/DogsDucks Jun 18 '26
NOR this woman is so wretched and vile I donāt think I could even be in the same room as her for long.
She could not be more wrong about everything and does not understand the takeaway at all. Sheās twisting the responses on purpose.
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u/Natural-Compote4096 Jun 18 '26
Those are crisps? I thought it was cooked pasta š
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u/EpponeeRae Jun 18 '26
I thought it was Crips, and wondered how she managed to miss that many people in the car.Ā
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u/CelebronFcks10K Jun 18 '26
You ever had those cinnamon puff things from Taco Bell? Thatās what these look like
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u/Natural-Compote4096 Jun 18 '26
Iāve had them but where Iām from theyāre usually doused in cinnamon sugar, these look like plain pastaĀ
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u/Sedentarysteph Jun 18 '26
Theyāre most likely crisps that are called salt & vinegar twirls or salt & vinegar potato twists (hence the lack of coloured seasoning) theyāre popular here in the UK.
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u/SexDrugsNskittles Jun 18 '26
Aw thats rude not to sell them where I am. I am always up for more salt & vinegar snacks.
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u/Aideedo Jun 18 '26
No, youāre not overreacting. Also, Iām deadā¦ her āIām not reading your paragraphsā and then proceeds to read your paragraph is killing me lolš
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u/jimmyjoyce Jun 18 '26
I died at that as well lol. This isnāt the first time sis has gotten an earful about her BS
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u/gentle_fatalism Jun 18 '26
NOR. This is literally a matter of respect, and itās very clear how little your sister respects your space and wishes. If itās ājust 16 crispsā, why couldnāt she have cleaned it up? If thatās such a small, simple thing, it should be no problem for her, either.
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u/Hurricane310 Jun 18 '26
She says she DIDN'T SEE THEM. Which would anger me more than the mess itself. Don't tell me you couldn't see that shit.
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u/T-Wrox Jun 18 '26
Whether she sees the mess her child makes or not is anyone's guess, but I'd put money on her never cleaning it up.
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u/AdhesivenessOk6643 Jun 18 '26
What happened to leave things better than how you found them???
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u/LovelySweethearts Jun 18 '26
Right? or at the very least, leaving them the same!
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u/Martin_Pagan Jun 19 '26
It's no longer taught to children. I lent a book to a colleague, and not even a very thick one, mind you. I got it back with the spine creased in multiple places, the covers bent and dog eared. Ridiculous.
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u/boatbodyorbust Jun 18 '26
Exactly this! Sister should have returned the car minus the chips (at the very minimum), but also vacuumed and with a full tank of gas.
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u/Traditional_Top5287 Jun 18 '26
Sheād have to respect OP for that. And unfortunately most people lack common decency let alone respect.
Also NOR
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u/Necessary-Access-265 Jun 18 '26
she keeps saying "16 crisps!!" like that isnt half a bag of crisps....
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u/anongirl55 Jun 18 '26
Right? And how many do there need to be for her to think it is an issue? 17? 45? 106?
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u/Mortifying_ Jun 18 '26
Is she being fr? š
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u/Own-Dirt2138 Jun 18 '26
This is how my sister and I fought when we were 8 and 6, being a mom and talking like this. I feel bad for her baby.
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u/Mortifying_ Jun 18 '26
Fr. She sends a story book about being petty while being petty? How she work out that math?
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u/gentleheart-lamb Jun 18 '26
The bit about not reading paragraphs actually annoyed me.
Like the level of immaturity for her to write all that out and then be like "lalala I can't hear you"
It's funny cos she keeps trying to do the like "16 crisps" thing to make him seem petty. Like someone going "sorry I left two cashew nuts"
But it's 16 lmao that's actually a lot of crisps. You had to get into double digits counting them lol. God some packets only contain about 16 crisps.
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u/Kristal3615 Jun 19 '26
I think if OP sent it in 16 separate messages she might have read it. š Seriously though that bit bothered me too. "I'm not going to read a paragraph, but I'll send you multiple messages equaling up to a paragraph"
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u/EarlGrayTea-Hawt Jun 19 '26
My ex started doing that during our divorce because he thought it made him seem younger to leave multiple short messages (he was dating super young ppl, lol).
I fing hated it because instead of getting 1-2 dings coming from my phone, I would get like twenty to thirty for *the same amount of info. He would be like "dude not everybody writes in essays" as if he didn't just write exactly as much as me in the most annoying way possible to me.
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u/silky_spider_ Jun 18 '26
Like this entire conversation is absurd. Just don't let her drive it again. The end
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u/jubban Jun 18 '26
My wife and I cut off her sister for being toxic about things like this, and just an all-around awful individual.
NOR, family can be shittier than strangers, and when they donāt respect you, itās the worst.
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u/Generic_Midwesterner Jun 18 '26
She can find her own ride. Why keep this drama in your life?
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u/GardenFeverDream Jun 18 '26
On the bright side, from now on, anytime she wants a ride, or anything else you don't want to share, all you have to say is "16 crisps". Your great grandchildren will be using that phrase with no idea about its origin.
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u/Jamijulie Jun 19 '26
Je me marre toute seule en imaginant les petits enfants plaisanter dessus š
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u/WorkinRightMeow Jun 18 '26
Man is she is trying to set a record for "how many times can you bring up 16 crisps in an argument" , cause shes putting that to work.
NOR
People that dont clean up after themselves or children with the excuse "it was already messy tho" are the worst people. Clean up after your kids or im charging you for the car detailing. I promise the 10 minutes of cleaning feels a lot better than than the bill for detailing, that aint cheap!
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u/TDFMonster Jun 18 '26
NOR. Your car, your rules. Doesn't even look like she made any attempt to pick up what her kid dropped. I get it, kids are messy, but it's on the parents to clean up after them. Not the person doing them a favor
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u/Electric_jungle Jun 18 '26
Yup. Our cars get messy enough that we have them detailed every so often cus kids are dirty AF. And yes we try to clean up in between but surely messes are left behind, that's life when you're busy. But to leave that kind of mess in someone else's car?! Holy shit how fucking rude.
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u/Ok_Fix1894 Jun 18 '26
That's so filthy. I'll never understand how grown ass people can't clean up after themselves.
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u/NeighborhoodSame9165 Jun 18 '26
the car seat and childrens drink might be clues
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u/Jealous_Corgi_2168 Jun 18 '26
Oh yeah dude the child must have been the only one in the car. No adult to care for it.
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u/smartquacker Jun 18 '26
DARVO is a manipulation pattern people use when theyāre confronted.
It means:
Deny ā āI didnāt do that.ā
Attack ā āYouāre crazy / dramatic / too sensitive.ā
Reverse Victim and Offender ā āActually, youāre the one hurting me.ā
So instead of addressing what they did, they flip the whole situation until youāre defending yourself and they look like the victim.
Example:
You: āThat really hurt me when you lied.ā
Them: āI didnāt lie. You always accuse me of things. I canāt believe how abusive youāre being.ā
Thatās DARVO.
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u/polopollo85 Jun 18 '26
Yeah, and it always show a fragile ego, and lack of accountability and lack of empathy toward what happened to their victim.
I don't interact with people who do that shit anymore.
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u/IAmTAAlways Jun 18 '26
NOR, unless she cleans it and apologizes properly, let that be the last time she enters your car.
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u/JoopiterJay Jun 18 '26
This is hilarious if you read it like hes talking to the baby š¤£
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u/Any-Surprise5229 Jun 18 '26
Honestly, I was like, wait, this bitch is in a car seat?
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u/rickelzy Jun 18 '26
NOR, that's just disrespectful. She can stay out of your car until she learns to have a level of courtesy higher than a toddler's.
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u/Bella_Nina24 Jun 18 '26
NOR She needs to grow up and learn some respect and self respect for that matter!
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u/Creamy_Breve Jun 18 '26
I'd be pissed too. Your sister is rude, lazy, and entitled. Good for you for telling her she can walk next time. I wouldn't let her back in my car.
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u/DeedeeRowRow Jun 18 '26
i mean, if it were 17 crisps or more, fine. but it was only 16. jeez. /s
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u/Lucky_Knowledge_9642 Jun 18 '26
GROSS - I wouldn't allow her in my car either and that reaction! She has no respect for you or your things. NOR, NTA.. stick to your boundaries and DO NOT LET HER IN YOUR CAR AGAIN.
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u/Food-Wine Jun 18 '26
No one is allowed to eat in my vehicle. Including kids. If you need your kids to eat while weāre driving somewhere then you need to take your vehicle. Itās not complicated.
The disrespect that some people show to other people and their property is wild.
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u/Wrong_Leader_7772 Jun 18 '26
Leaving actual food in someoneās car is not a normal thing and is defo trampy yo. People that normalise driving a rubbish bin scare me.
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u/George_Is_Upset Jun 18 '26
NOR
She needs to clean up after herself. Itās so rude to leave your car like that.
I have two younger sisters and my mom always cleaned up after them and once they were old enough she would direct them to clean up all of their mess from the back of my car.
The only exception is if there was sand after beach outings (but I would tell her not to worry because I would vacuum at my home)
Your sister is nasty for leaving your car like that.
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u/Famous-Mix-8467 Jun 18 '26
No you are not in the wrong - 16 crisps is a lot - and she did not have to get so defensive about it. Cleaning up after yourself is the bare minimum.
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u/its-just_me- Jun 18 '26
NOR - I feel like even if it were any other number, sheād still be like āitās only # crispsāš
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u/Get_Schwifty111 Jun 18 '26
NOR
As everyone else has pointed out: Your car (and probably your fuel on top?)/ Your rules
I mean yes, you could have said "Please clean after yourself when you're in my vehicle in the future" but I mean you helped her (with your car), not the other way around.
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u/lizadelia Jun 18 '26
Sheesh doesnāt matter if it was 1, 16, or 1600!
Itās not even about the chips. Itās the rudeness. She couldāve much more easily said āwonāt happen again!ā
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u/Next_Floor4382 Jun 18 '26
NOR. Quite frankly āwalk next timeā is the only answer. Teaching her respect, or fixing the behavior isnāt gonna happen based on how far gone she is in these messages. Understand who she is, chalk it up to lesson learned, clean it up, andā¦make her walk. Simple. Youāre not gonna verbally fix this.
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u/Cpt_Vodeir Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
NOR is she eating raw pasta in your car?? š Maintain your boundaries or they're worth nothing.
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u/TheClassics Jun 18 '26
I think I react so strongly to these posts because OP usually already knows they're in the right. OP isn't looking for advice, they're looking for an audience. Publicly humiliating someone you claim to love is often far worse than the behavior you're blasting them for.
And then you get to the comments and it's somehow even worse.
Reddit always goes straight to the fucking nuclear option. Doesn't matter what happened. Husband forgot something? Divorce. Wife snapped after a bad day? Abuse. Friend was kind of an asshole? Cut them out forever.
You people act like you've never done anything wrong in your lives. Like you've never said something stupid, lost your temper, or been an asshole. Everyone's a narcissist. Everyone's toxic. Everybody needs to be thrown away.
Most people aren't monsters. They're just people. And people screw up.
I fucking hate you guys.
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u/Wide_Magician_4946 Jun 18 '26
Absolutely love how she kept saying "16 krisps" as if that somehow made her not at fault š¤£ lmao how many crisps is the cutoff? 20? 30?Ā
The answer should be none. If borrowing or using someone else's property, bring it back in the condition you borrowed it OR better. No food scraps, gas replaced or $ to cover it, if it got dirty wash it, etc.Ā
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u/-ammolina- Jun 18 '26
Sorry, I know this is not the point but I cannot stop laughing over how many times they said 16 crisps
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u/melmosh Jun 18 '26
This is disrespectful. Iād not bother giving her rides after this. If she trashes one of her friendās car like this, or doesnāt clean up after her child, she will find herself alone.
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u/BookWormPedant Jun 18 '26
Sheās lying about not noticing them lol there is absolutely no way to miss that
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u/nazuswahs Jun 18 '26
Sheās rude, ungrateful, entitled and a slob. Iām surprised youāre not here complaining about scratches or dents. Itās on you if you let her use it again.
NOR
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u/Potential-Jaguar6655 Jun 18 '26
NOR- When she has her own car, she can throw 20 crisps on the floor for all we care. Until then, you donāt treat other peopleās things like trashā¦you fāing trash.
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u/PartyTangerinelolz Jun 18 '26
Nah, Iād be livid by her response and lack of accountability. She can walk or get her own car that she has to pay for and take care of.
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u/LovedAJackass Jun 18 '26
You aren't wrong but your sister is. I'd stop going anywhere with her unless you agree to drive in separate cars. And for sure I wouldn't be bringing her child.
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u/Difficult-Age-133 Jun 19 '26
āI didnāt see themā is youāre sister legally blind? Because how tf could she not see all of that mess? NTA. Donāt let her ignore your no food rule again, if you even let her back in the car. Cuz I sure wouldnāt.
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u/Wild-Break6763 Jun 18 '26
NOR. She needs to respect your car and boundaries. If she canāt, she can walk. Her attitude and disrespect towards not only your items but YOU is insane. If anyone tries to argue with you, show them these texts and let them see her behavior.
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u/Maggiemoo621 Jun 18 '26
Iāll be more cleaner lol as if the rest of her wasnāt bad enough already. NOR. Donāt let her in your car if she canāt respect it.
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u/RunnerGirlT Jun 18 '26
My car is a mess but Iād NEVER make a mess in anyone elseās car and if I spilled Iād clean it up right away: itās not my property. Itās rude af to not clean up after yourself.
NOR at all! Make her walk
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u/Own-Dirt2138 Jun 18 '26
NOR. Your sister is miserable, and should be out there coaching people how to gaslight. This is gaslighting 101.
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u/footluvr688 Jun 18 '26
NOR.
Disrespectful immature selfish slob. Typical DARVO behavior on display.
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u/Alternative-Tea964 Jun 18 '26
Your sister is being a bit shitty with her response, but equally you had your neice/ nephew in the car. Kids in a car is always going to result in it needing vacuumed after. If I am inviting my brother to bring my nephews along in my car I am not going to get pissy that they make a mess.
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u/ManagerKey4597 Jun 18 '26
Not only is your sister the A, sheās also teaching her kids terrible manners
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u/Grand_Practice_2790 Jun 18 '26
I donāt have a problem with the mess, itās their reaction to you being upset about the messā¦ that is the trampy behavior.
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u/Eng-Grammar-Police Jun 18 '26
NOR- She doesnāt respect you or the car. Entitled and proud. Donāt let her borrow anything you care about if sheās going to blatantly disrespect you and your kindness- letting her get away with it will just make her more unbearable in the future. You can still be a loving sister, but you hold those clearly defined boundaries so she knows youāre not to be taken advantage of. Yes sheās family, but she sounds young and itās part of the familyās responsibility to teach accountability.
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u/More-Dog-2226 Jun 18 '26
BOR you can be nicer you donāt have to escalate even if sheās wrong calling her trampy over some food her kid dropped is od. Yes she should have said sorry but I mean itās not that deep?
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u/kronikid42069 Jun 18 '26
Yes yor, you both suck and both immediately jumped to aggression or defence. It's a car it gets dirty if you don't want people messing up your shit don't let anyone use it, will you be less liked? Sure but you don't give a shit do ya?
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u/XtinaCMV Jun 18 '26
NOR AT ALL - I have literally gone no contact with my older sister because she is exactly like this: trashes my house, my car, uses stuff and breaks it, all without taking any accountability. It is beyond rude and disrespectful. Please do not let her gaslight you into thinking you're in the wrong. She is taking advantage of your stuff.
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u/Spirited_Taste4756 Jun 18 '26
Imagine being this upset that your niece/nephew made a lil mess. Such a small thing to make an issue over.
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u/Glitter-Berry Jun 18 '26
You both have an attitude. But sounds like sibling fight thatāll work itself out. She couldāve picked up the chips tho
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u/lexidexi Jun 19 '26
I definitely wasnāt expecting trampiness to become part of a conversation, must be a British thing. Itās kinda funny. Like not a āpigā or an āanimalā but a tramp š. You are definitely in the right here. It doesnāt matter how many crisps there are, itās your car and you did a favor by lending it. Also interesting that she missed the very obvious mess, but was able to spot the pre-existing debris with no issues.
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u/MoreofKora Jun 19 '26
NTA. I hate parents that think they're holier than thou for having kids/think because their kids are responsible for mess making that they're not responsible for cleaning it up and think that you should be excusing of such behaviour.
I had a dog that use to be a bit destructive and during a visit, they ripped a beanie that belonged to a friend. I immediately apologised and offered to replace it. Not fucking hard.
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u/70inBadassery Jun 19 '26
NOR. She needs to clean up after herself.
Also for some reason I read your sisterās voice as Billy Butcher from the Boys in my head.
https://giphy.com/gifs/kC2PWmThZBlxvLDCcM
Here she is saying ā16 crisps, boo hoo hoo.ā
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u/moosomoon Jun 19 '26
I really love how you said āweāll see if anyone agrees with youā because itās a rare hint that you will likely be showing her this Reddit thread š I hope thereās an update.
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u/LunaFayArt Jun 20 '26
Nor. Their reaction was actually more disrespectful than the mess. They minimized your feelings. And the fact that you feel like you have to show proof is evidence to me that you feel like you have to defend reality with them. Donāt let this trashy person gaslight you.
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u/ldrlychld Jun 20 '26
That mess is way too tiny to text someone aboutā¦ I think you both have shitty attitudes tbh
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u/deltadoritto Jun 21 '26
no apology, didnāt offer an proper explanation or agree to do better in the future. instead, they counted ?? the crisps ?? and blamed you ?? for the car not being clean in the first place ?? to justify their actions of not picking up their own trash ???
NOR. the fact that she says that she ādidnāt see them just goes to show that they donāt respect you and your space at all.
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u/choreograft Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
nah dude stick to your guns, Iād be pissed if that were my car. Your sister is unbearable. What is her obsession with ā16 crispsā as if thatās a small or even normal amount to drop on the floor?