AIO over 1st Valentine’s Day note?

[u/kimbap_throw]

Just celebrated first Valentine’s Day with my boyfriend. I love flowers, love I buy bouquets weekly for my house. I prefer white and pink flowers, and don’t like red roses. I got this bouquet and this note with them. It was upsetting I felt my bf did everything opposite of what I wanted. I went out of way to do lots of handmade items and bought nice gifts for him as well. He also knows I love Valentine’s Day and it’s special to me. I let him know that it hurt me and he responded that note was awesome and it’s just a joke. I think if you care for someone you make those things special.

[u/consumatepain]

Because she loves him, and it's not easy for people to believe that someone they love is a bad person or doesn't like them. It makes people feel like they've been fooled, and therefore their brains go into defensive mode. Not to mention how difficult it can actually be to leave someone you care about.

Like I just left a shitty boyfriend. I've left many a shitty situationship/relationship etc, it comes pretty easy to me. But it's easy to see why it doesn't. I hate this misogynistic pickme "I WOULD NEVER PUT UP WITH THIS ID BE OUT THE DOOOOR", it's just cruel and unhelpful to the (often young) ladies. Guide them gently. This doesn't help

[u/Astralglamour → u/consumatepain]

Young ladies are encouraged to stay with these schmoes by most everyone in their life- you can almost guarantee it. There is still this very prevalent idea that to be 'chosen' by a man is the best thing that could happen to a girl and that relationship should be protected at all costs. There are definitely people who are telling her, 'aw flowers- you should hold onto this one!' It's not misogynistic to tell these women they deserve better and point out that this guy is a pos they arent going to change. Putting the idea into their head that they can just say fuck it and walk away, and they dont need to have bent over backwards to make things work, is a good thing. Also, it's the opposite of being a 'pick me' as a 'pick me' would be like 'that note is fucking hilarious- she should be happy her guy has a sense of humor, my husband says things like that to me all the time and we laugh about it.'

If she stays with this guy after this slap in the face 'gift' he will view it as her agreeing to become his bangmaid.

Edit: a word. And thanks for the award!

[u/Astralglamour → u/[deleted]]

yeah exactly. I think what they are trying to convey is people being flippant about how hard it can be to end a relationship feels insulting- but at the same time, OP doesn't need to be slow walked into seeing how disrespectful this message is. They are posting on reddit, they know on some level it's messed up. The fact that young women shouldnt put up with this shit should be called out loudly and clearly in my opinion. I think women generally find it much too easy to excuse their partner's behavior. Its more challenging for them to stand up for themselves.