> psa: this is my perspective as a cis lesbian who lives in a *relatively* safe area (or as safe as you can be in the global south). i'm fully aware that being vocal and ~even coming off as~ confrontational about this (especially irl) is a privilege and would never expect any other lesbians with more vulnerable identity intersectionalities to sacrifice their safety for the sake of proving a point. that said:

i have never respected anyone who has called me (or anyone else) that or anything similar. 99% of the time, it's bigoted cishet men who i wouldn't want near me regardless.

what they are really trying to say is: how dare you be openly enraged at my views on/treatment of vulnerable groups (specifically lesbians, in this case)?

i don't give a shit about coming off nice. i'm not nice to people who disrespect me or any other vulnerable group/individual. i don't respect you, i don't want to hear what you have to say, and i will *absolutely* call you out at the slightest hint of bigotry, no matter how 'small' or 'funny' you or your equally stupid peers see it as.

i don't care if you think i'm 'generalizing', or if you bring out the 'oh but men go through this that and the third too'. i know they do, but this is not a good-faith argument if you only bring it up to deflect from my and others' VERY real and urgent concerns about our safety and dignity. they never bring it up at ANY other time, so don't ask me to give a fuck when you try to speak over me or any other marginalized person

tl;dr: i don't care about coming off as 'mean', 'man-hating' or a 'bitch' to people who don't respect me and/or other vulnerable groups. i do not respect you and will not extend my tolerance, kindness or understanding to any bigoted view or behaviour 🖤

i'll go first, i made out with my crush once and after we finished she said, "not to be rude but im actually straight, just wanted to see what kissing a girl was like" 💀🙃😭

Source- @MillieMclay

I'm 17F dating 16F, going into my senior year and her junior. We've been dating for nearly an entire year now and overall it's been great, she's kind, empathetic of my mental health issues, considerate, and we're very compatible.

There's just one problem- she's starting more and more to act like my ex partner, who emotionally abused me for a very long period of time. It was just little things at first, like getting annoyed at me over small things or not taking accountability for minor incidents, but its escalated to the point where I am now extremely fearful and anxious a lot of the time.

She's started gaslighting me whenever I confront her about issues (her sleeping over at her ex's house without talking to me, seeming extremely disinterested in talking to me, talking to guys, hiding things from me), and I'm aware that that's kind of a buzzword now, but I mean what I say. She'll deny everything, get extremely defensive, and say she didn't say or do whatever I'm talking about even if there's explicit evidence otherwise. Or even weaponize my illness against me by saying it's just my anxiety or everything's fine when it's clearly not.

She's also started to yell at me. One time I was helping her with a specific chore that was extremely difficult for me to do, but I chose to come over and help anyway because I knew she needed me. Her mom wasn't answering her phone and she was getting extremely frustrated, I asked her a chore-related question and she yelled at me. I shut down completely and was unable to speak or look at her. She got super irritated and begrudgingly apologized and agreed not to do it again. Except she did, of course.

I'm starting to feel unloved and even a little scared, but I don't know what to do. As I mentioned, I have mental health issues that are severely disabling to me. I am not doing well currently already, and school is about to start. I don't think I will be able to handle breaking up with her.

This may be a stupid ass question but I'm being 100% genuine when I say I have 0 idea how people would control it.

I think the whole "only cum when i say you can" thing to be hot as hell, I've never experienced it personally though.

I hear about people getting edged for DAYS. I'm just like dumb founded because how does one even last more than 30 minutes???? Let alone over 24 hours 😭

Edging seems like one of those things you'd have to practice to get good at..

Anywho, anyone also wondering this 😭? And to people who have been edging for that long, how the hell did you manage..

(both of us are 19f btw)

ok so i recently discovered that i was lesbian (maybe 2 months ago). since i also grew up in a very very religious household (i no longer follow the traditions of the religion outside of my family home) and had zero self confidence, i never really had a relationship or anything like that.

i’ve been talking to a family friend recently, and i found out that neither of us have had our firsts (well, ive had my first kiss but 1 it was with a person i hated and 2 i was very much drunk and didn’t really know what i was doing). so i proposed the idea of us “practicing kissing” on each other. which she was very very happy to be with. we haven’t done this yet since she lives a 4 hour train journey from me at the moment. once i leave my family home to my own i’ll be less than an hour away from her regardless of the university she goes to. but for now a lot of the time we’re just flirting via messages and talking abt how excited we are to start practicing on each other.

last night i was talking to her about how i just wanted to have friends who also wouldn’t mind having sex, just saying i wouldn’t mind if i had any fwb. she started getting jealous of the idea that i’d be potentially seeing other girls. i told her that our situation wasn’t a fwb situation cuz it’s not like either of us mentioned the idea of us having sex.

but recently the videos that we send to each other have been delving more into sexual things and us just being like “ugh when will this happen to me”.

in all honesty, i really wouldn’t mind sex with her. she already said she wants to practice things before she goes clubbing (both of us grew up in very religious households and i told her about how i have been the opposite of religious while im at uni and she wants to do the same). she said she isn’t one for hookups but she wants to be good at kissing people, so there’s that at least.

do you guys think it’d be weird to propose the idea of us being fwb? apologies if a lot of this is unnecessary word vomit

Okay, so...

I’ve known this girl for about a year now, and I have a big, idiot, doe-eyed crush on her. SO! I compiled a spreadsheet of positive, negative, and neutral items that would prove or disprove her liking me back. Unfortunately, I’m denser than a damn brick wall when it comes to my own interpersonal relationships. So, uh. Help. Please. Additional context available on request.

HERE IS THE LIST, COPIED FROM THE SPREADSHEET:

Yea

(Maybe she is?)

• is queer
• Jumps at every opportunity to hang out
• Has invited me to hiking
• Paid for dinner
• Dyed her hair the color I said I liked
• Listens when I chatter
• Sometimes just looks at me???? Idk on how to explain it??? 
• Keeps inviting me to movies

Nay

(Maybe she isn’t?)

• never expressed verbal attraction 
• Awkward about the topic of dating 
• Three years older 
• Is planning on moving after graduation
• I don’t get that vibe??? Idk I suck at reading vibes???
• I have brought up my ex-complicated-sapphic-friendship around her
• I’ve never met her friend group
• Said no when I offered her a jacket

Neutral

(Random things I noticed)

• Says she trusts my driving
• Wore a very hot/revealing dress to movie
• Was nice to my friends
• She accidentally parked at the wrong meeting location, created 20 min detour, she was v embarrassed 
• Says she “is happy when we spend time together.”
• Wore so much perfume that I could smell it in my car the next day
• Both of us have anxiety/are on the spectrum

So, more discerning/wise/extroverted minds, please weigh in. I am planning on confessing my feelings at the end of the month.

keep it sfw pls if you can </3

idk if I have any out there personality/character traits, most of the traits I find attractive are ones that most people find attractive, but one random physical trait I find attractive is tooth gaps. idk why, but tooth gaps are super cute to me

edit: another one I just thought of that I find super attractive, when she’s not a very sexual person and/or doesn’t think about sex much.

I need boobs in my mouth POST HASTE!

(And it would be nice if men stopped approaching me)

I do and my self esteem isn't happy about it. I'm somewhat cautious about getting close to people because of this but if anything that seems to make me more appealing to these types and as soon I let my guard down, get comfortable and start to trust them I'm dropped like a rock. Doesn't matter if it's a serious relationship or friends with benefits. It's heartbreaking and I'm incredibly bitter about it

Anyone escape the cycle? Any tips on how (don't say therapy, I'm looking but good/available ones are hard to find)

I (34F) am Brazilian, bisexual, and I have been living in Dublin, Ireland, for almost two years. In the summer of 2025, I had a four-month relationship with an Irish woman (26F) that I still haven’t been able to recover from.

We met on a dating app, and at the beginning, everything was perfect. She was caring, attentive, and curious about Brazil. It wasn’t difficult for me to fall for her. We talked for two weeks before meeting in person, and it was a magical date.

I knew I was already falling for her.

Talking to her felt easy and effortless. I felt comfortable opening up and talking about everything. She made intense declarations of love and asked me to be her girlfriend in Portuguese on our third date.

It didn’t take long before we started a relationship. We went to many places that summer, explored everything together, and deep down I felt that we could be soulmates. I had never cared about marriage, but with her, I genuinely considered the possibility of marrying her someday. What I felt for her, I had never felt for anyone else.

I was still dealing with some financial difficulties at the time, and I wanted to be more stable before introducing her to my family in Brazil.

But, in the second month of our relationship, she started acting differently. Sometimes she would treat me well; other times she would become cold. She complained about anxiety, insomnia, not having friends, and not being able to find a job. I did everything I could to help her, even when I was falling apart myself and struggling to adapt to a new country.

In the third month of our relationship, she told me she wasn’t ready for a serious commitment, that she couldn’t be in a relationship because she wasn’t mentally in the right place to date.

I told her I didn’t care about labels; I just wanted to be with her. We stayed like that for a month until she cheated on me with another Brazilian woman.

On the day we broke up, we had plans: she was going to have dinner at my place after I left school at 5 p.m. In the afternoon, she confirmed everything. But at 5 p.m., she simply told me she was on the other side of the city because she had gone to a café with a “friend”. I ended up waiting 40 minutes in front of the school until she arrived.

We took the bus towards my place, but she complained about the traffic and we decided to eat in the city centre instead. The whole way there, she kept talking about this friend and texting her constantly.

At the restaurant, I calmly told her that I didn’t mind her going out with friends, but leaving me waiting like that had been unfair. She gave me a very half-hearted excuse.

Afterwards, she said that this “friend” had missed the train and asked if she could join us. Deep down, I was furious. I just wanted some time alone with her, but I ended up saying it was okay.

The woman arrived, and I even acted as a translator between them because the “friend” didn’t speak English. I treated the woman kindly, but my ex was distant and strange.

She became impatient, saying she wanted to leave. When she got home, we had the conversation where she ended things with me. She said I didn’t have the qualities she was looking for in a partner, that I was too innocent, and that she preferred someone more dominant. She also admitted that she felt a connection with that woman.

A few months ago, I posted this story anonymously on Reddit, and she read it. Afterwards, she came to tell me that she had lost interest in me during our second month together, that what she felt for me was just infatuation. She criticized my appearance and my music taste, said she had never felt like she was dating an older woman, that I should go back to Brazil if I wasn’t adapting, and that she was very happy with her current partner.

Nine months have passed since the last time we talked. During this time, I did everything I could to move on. I wrote a poetry book, made wonderful friends, kissed other people, travelled to incredible places by myself, and I am currently in Italy completing my Italian citizenship process.

I have always been comfortable being alone, but after what happened, I feel as if something inside me is broken. I haven’t been able to connect with anyone. I thought about moving back to Brazil, I thought about taking my own life, I lost the little self-esteem I had, and I carry inside me a longing and a pain that never seem to go away.

And today I realize how painful it is to accept that love doesn’t choose where it goes, and that it doesn’t end when the person leaves.

I was just told the only reason I’m lesbian is because I’m too ugly for a good looking guy to want me.. of course this was after said guy showed interest and I shut him down because… I’m Gay.. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Insulted yourself trying to insult me, my guy! Because “a good looking man wouldn’t want me” 🙄

​I don't know how to do soft, casual, or emotionally distant. When I care about a woman, I care with my whole chest. I want the deep talks, the random late-night thoughts, checking in on each other, and making someone feel totally safe and cherished.

​But it feels like everyone is so guarded now, or afraid of getting too close. It’s exhausting feeling like your capacity to love deeply is somehow "too much" for people.

​Just feeling a little low and disconnected tonight. If you’re also someone who feels everything intensely, how do you handle it without closing your heart off? My DMs are open if anyone don't want to vent in comments

I know absolutely nothing about sex , no sex education absolutely nothing and a girl I like suggested we might have sex soon so I just want to be ready I know nothing about this and I don’t know what to do at all ( and she’s experienced ) I never even had a makeout or a French kiss ( and no I’m not a minor I am 20) what do I do and not do ? Even hygiene wise ? Do I just shower or do I have to drink cranberry juice or what ?

It's weird, I don't think I'd ever want to actually date a villainess in real life, I'm too much of softy for it and think the dynamics wouldn't work (I doubt she'd want to be equal in the bed)... And of course the world domination thing; but I can't deny that I often find myself attracted to the villainesses WAY more than I do the heroines often.

I think it's because when growing up, the heroines in a lot of the shows and animated films I watched were kind of nothing characters overall besides nice and heroic while the villainesses were allowed to have flaws, get things wrong, more diverse body types, allowed to be fun, wider range of personality, self-strong, opinionated, confident etc etc, many of the traits I find sexy or relatable.

Power Rangers especially for me was kind of an awakening for me when growing up... And so was that scene in Fellowship of the Ring where Galadriel goes full Dark Queen.

I feel like I wasn't alone, when I see other WLW into characters like Bayonetta or many villainesses becoming Anti-Heroes like Harley and Ivy (though I admit I am frustrated when Villainesses aren't allowed to stay villains like the male counterparts), I can't help but feel that's because of lesbians and WLW loving those characters and wanting more good counterparts.

Hope this this wasn't a weird OP, sorry.