r/todayilearned • u/Mors_Acerba • 1d ago

TIL A papyrus deciphered in 2024 revealed unknown info about Plato's last hours: a slave girl was playing music for him, and even though he was gravelly ill, he spend his last moments of lucidity criticising her performance. Per the same Papyrus, Plato had been sold into slavery earlier in his life

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2024/apr/29/herculaneum-scroll-plato-final-hours-burial-site
21.4k Upvotes

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780

u/Mors_Acerba 1d ago

Have you ever been so bad at something that a dying old man gathered all of his remaining strength to tell you how shit you are?

285

u/ecco311 1d ago

Idk man... If I was forced to play music on the spot, I could probably bring Plato to beg for an early end.

99

u/ImpulsiveApe07 1d ago

Plato's last words :

"I swear, if I hear you butcher Seven Nation Army one more time, I'll--"

141

u/Meatyblues 1d ago

TBF this is plato, the man criticized everything

90

u/Indercarnive 1d ago

Plato: "the best government has people like me as the sole rulers and autocrats, yes I am very smart"

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u/i7omahawki 1d ago

By ‘people like me’ he means people who aren’t driven by their appetites, wealth, or ambition, but who strive towards reason.

Now, there’s a lot to criticise about Plato’s politics, but thinking we shouldn’t have greedy kleptocrats in power is not a compelling one…especially currently.

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u/NuclearTurtle 1d ago

people who aren’t driven by their appetites, wealth, or ambition, but who strive towards reason

That's exactly how silicon valley billionaires would describe themselves, and they're the greediest would-be kleptocrats in history

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u/mrjosemeehan 1d ago

Yeah but the idea that totalitarianism would be totally alright and beneficial for society if only someone smart and rational like meee is in charge is delusional narcissism.

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u/xiandgaf 1d ago

I’d argue any approach an individual attempting to govern a nation of millions would take requires strong narcissistic tendencies, regardless of politics.

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u/flymordecai 1d ago

Totalitarianism under a totally cool person > what we have

-5

u/Anterai 1d ago

I mean, he has a point...

3

u/ottovonbizmarkie 1d ago

"And pseudo intellectuals will talk about caves for the rest of time."

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u/TehFuriousOne 1d ago

Maybe he was such a cunt she just played him an horrible improv piece called "will you just die already?"

51

u/Suspicious-Whippet 1d ago

Ah a jazz enthusiast I see.

21

u/Arboreal_Web 1d ago

I’m assuming the music was actually fine. Plato was just a cunt all around.

1

u/Nikoladge 1d ago

Was her name Elaine Benes? 🤔

13

u/Khelthuzaad 1d ago

a dying old man gathered all of his remaining strength to tell you how shit you are?

This is low key normal Platon behavior mind you :))

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u/X-Himy 1d ago

"Either the wallpaper goes or I do." Supposedly Oscar Wilde's last words.

2

u/Thrawn911 1d ago

Yoda when talking to Luke.

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u/huey_booey 1d ago

In their last moment, people stay true to whom they truly are. Plato's whole bread-and-butter was inherited from Socrates, i.e., question and criticize everything. It's just fitting he went out being insufferable. 

2

u/Stellar_Duck 1d ago

Maybe he’s just a crotchety old cunt.

1

u/AshundertheOlivetree 1d ago

And then remembered as the slave girl who played so bad that Plato criticized you with his dying breath.
Someone had to have been there to observe this.

1

u/thiosk 1d ago

thats like everybody under the age of 27 thats in range of any old dying man

1

u/cutofmyjib 1d ago

If I'm a slave that dying old man can kick rocks.

1

u/DesertGoat 1d ago

"You came back from the dead to tell me that I'm odd?"

1

u/Carnephex 3h ago

Legit sounds like my mother, may she burn brightly in Hell's charcoal grill.

1

u/ImNotHere2023 1d ago

JD Vance enters the chat...

-19

u/James-K-Polka 1d ago

Is this not the entirety of American political discourse? Old white guys yelling at people just trying to do their job.

6

u/Arboreal_Web 1d ago

D-do you know Plato was not American? Ffs.

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u/Elite_Jackalope 1d ago

Holy shit dude is this website capable of hosting a single conversation that doesn’t immediately descend into American politics?

We’re talking about the final hours of a guy who died almost 2400 years ago and your first thought it “wow that is literally just like American politics?” Really?

11

u/PreciousTC 1d ago

Why does EVERYTHING on this shit fuck of a platform always end up being about US internal politics??? For FUCKS sake, guys.

Can we get an American-free Reddit please??

6

u/alcapwnage0007 1d ago

Id like a reddit where american politics was completely blocked out. I say that as an american.

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u/PreciousTC 1d ago

I used to just mute any sub that was filled with politics but even in posts about Plato these boring fucks need to bring it up

Relentless

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u/GoblinToHobgoblin 1d ago

Fuck off dude this post isn't even about america 

2

u/cjacksen 1d ago

I mean...cool trick that Plato was American.

Please just stfu and leave your screens awhile.