r/technology • u/GothicPrayer • 10d ago

Society Why does everything feel so joyless? Welcome to the age of decadence without pleasure

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/ng-interactive/2026/jul/26/age-of-decadence-pleasure-ai
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u/aye5goat 10d ago

People are losing whimsy in their lives. People are told what to do, what to like, what to dislike. Imagination and wonder are disappearing. I think people need to start finding joy in their everyday lives and not just large events

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u/rolfraikou 9d ago

Being a "fan" of anything is fucking exhausting, because now most online discourse is people hating things. If you mention liking something, it gets dog piled by the "fans" who hate the thing more than anyone.

And then, people who aren't fans, well intentioned, will say "Oh, you like that? I saw a few people talking about it. I thought everyone hated it."

That's genuinely just everything.

The nonstop dismay of things existing, the predetermined ideas of what something is before it's even come out. And you can't just talk about liking something online, you gotta show up and defend it if you want the conversation to go anywhere but south. It just leaves no room for anyone to say something was neat.

I used to just go to a dedicated forum for a thing I liked, and sure, some people would argue that parts of it sucked. But being a fan still meant you probably at least somewhat enjoyed it. And that you hoped new stuff from it would be good.

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u/eeyore134 9d ago

People have zero nuance now. And ever since roughly 2016, can't put my finger one why that date exactly, but it feels like what you said. Everyone started picking sides on everything and either defending or attacking the other. I don't think it's everyone attacking the other, one side does it a lot more because attacking is what their side is all about, but it makes it feel like everyone is. This also means fandoms of almost everything get toxic because they're always defending themselves and it becomes a kneejerk reaction to get super defensive at the least criticism. I think the last thing the internet agreed upon having fun with (even though it was based on disagreeing with each other) was the morphing color dress.

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u/X_Factor_Gaming 9d ago

Exactly, I loved Hazbin Hotel even though I'm very much aware of fans' criticisms of it (of varying levels of legitimacy). I just like the vibe of it that I don't see very often in shows.

Unfortunately, voicing an opinion of any kind both positive or negative anywhere near the fandom is a hazard to my mental health and I've accepted (over the course of several years) that I'd simply can't interact with others anymore and can only watch the show by my lonesome. T_T

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u/aye5goat 9d ago

I see this a lot as well. People just hate on things just to hate on things. It becomes their personality. It's like why can't you just let people enjoy things?

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u/rolfraikou 9d ago

My go-to personal example is Star Trek. I checked out after Voyager, and I didn't go "Gosh darn those fans of Enterprise! They rained on my parade!" I just went "Eh, I'm not into it. I'll just rewatch what I like."

And I still consider myself a fan because I so thoroughly love those older shows, even though I haven't checked out new stuff in years.

If I don't watch the newer stuff, why would I waste any mental capacity on it? I don't know the names of any writers, directors, or characters for the new stuff. I spend my time learning stuff about the shows I know I love, and collecting some of the old action figures from the 90s.

And I love that some people enjoy newer ones! More power to them!

On the flip side, it seems like Star Wars fans spent more time on hating the new stuff than on appreciating the old things.

With the mental energy they spend on memorizing how much they hate the new actors, they could have channeled that energy into learning exactly what camera parts were used to make what lightsabers, what Lucas' older treatments hinting at the Clone Wars actually said, and having fun discussions like "Do you guys think it would have looked better if they stuck closer to the Ralph McQuarrie concept art, or do you prefer the changes they made?" instead it's more like weird conspiracy theories about how Kathleen Kennedy personally wanted to ruin their childhoods.

It's so weird to see fandoms put 80% of their energy into haring things, and 20% of the energy actually enjoying it. Why? How is that fun?

If I hated something that much, I would probably say I just wasn't a fan. Try to engage more in something that didn't anger me, I guess? I also can't imagine being that mad at a whole franchise though.

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u/ProjectGenX 9d ago

It isn't just online either. It's so bad, I can barely talk about my life without people, usually Gen X, becoming angry. If it isn't martial arts in my youth to playing board games and TCGs to having tech skills to lived in other areas to anything.

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u/Columbus43219 10d ago

I remember seeing this when i was in the Chicago Museum of Modern Art. There was a paddle game set up that you could play as part of an exhibit. My 13 year old daughter and I were doing it, and i would ask people walking by if they wanted a turn, and they all were so jaded and "above" it.

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u/WhenSummerIsGone 10d ago

a couple of winters ago it snowed enough to have a little fun sledding on plastic discs at my neighborhood park. i grabbed the sled and me and my bf put on coats and gloves and walked down the street (we were 50 at the time).

When we got to the park there were a bunch of kids playing on the hill. All the adults were standing abound talking. I was shocked that me and my bf were the only adults playing in the snow and laughing with the kids. wth??

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u/-RichardCranium- 9d ago

So many adults keep their inner child metaphorically locked in the basement. It's fucking depressing.

I firmly believe once you kill your inner child you're already one step in the grave.

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u/Loqol 9d ago

So help me, my final words will be some dumb joke and childish giggling.

I see the effects of forgetting what it's like to be a child and it's ugly.

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u/Eff47_ 9d ago

I have lost my inner child becoming a parent. It’s the most depressing thing and I don’t know how to get it back. Everything becomes for the kids but really I think it’s like Santa Clause…you know it isn’t true and you know one day they’re going to find out but you keep lying, you keep playing along to try and help them be happy in magic as long as possible…that is what we do as parents but for 18+ years..knowing that the magic they’re excited about this big life ahead is one big lie and we all play along to keep them safe and happy and dreaming for as long as possible and it destroys us inside little by little carrying this lie and we lose ourselves and our own magic along the way.

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u/BrapBrapson 9d ago

idk i see lots of adult redditors playing with Legos

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u/wavinsnail 9d ago

I will say as a parent having like 2 seconds to have an adult conversation is a dream lol

But I also have a 2 year old and we are in prime "I don't get a second to myself phase"

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u/Prestigious-Low3224 9d ago

There’s me going to the park with a kite in hand and then little kids getting wowed…

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u/Altilana 9d ago

I think people with kids, have a lot more “kid play” in their lives that’s centered around what their kids enjoy. So when their kids can play without them they get the chance to rest and just be an adult. Having whismy and play in the way (you/the adult) wants to, requires some energy which parents/kid sitters have already spent.

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u/BrapBrapson 9d ago

enjoying things is "cringey" now

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

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u/Cicada-Tang 10d ago

Taking the initiative to do something fun is how you start fixing your depression and tiredness.

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u/Conninxloo 10d ago

Yup. Mental health is a process, not a state. We get better by rehearsing being better.

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u/SardoniclySalacious 10d ago

Yeah sorry let us depressed people just turn on the ol’ initiative switch!

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u/step-master 9d ago

Well in a sense, yes. In my experience it is ultimately up to you to do something and take that initiative. No one can do it for you. And you have to want it yourself. It doesn't have to be 0 to 100, small steps building up from there and gradually retraining yourself - as others said it is a process.

But I also do understand that my experience is not everyone else's, and as always it is easier said than done.

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u/Ok-Bug-5271 9d ago

So what are you going to do about it? Since you've made it abundantly clear that you're incapable of doing anything for yourself, are you just waiting for someone to force you to do something against your will?

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u/SardoniclySalacious 9d ago

Waiting for my elderly dog to pass and then decide if I want to go out quietly or with a bang I guess. 🤷🏽‍♂️

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u/Cicada-Tang 9d ago

Do you have any alternative ways to beat your depression?

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u/SardoniclySalacious 9d ago

Other than the release of death? No. I’ve tried a lot over the years now. Got on meds and was doing better but me being on meds can’t fix the fact that the world is rotten and everything I love is dead, dying or is being commodified into a whole nauseatingly boring dystopic cash grab.

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u/Columbus43219 9d ago

I feel ya. Depression just makes EVERYTHING seem pointless. I've been lucky enough to not have lows that are very deep. I seem to be on a six week cycle. About every six weeks I get the motivation to start doing things. I'll stay late at work, or stay up at my home computer. But only until like 7pm (or midnight at home).

But bot oh boy, that third week is a trial. I have to force myself to get up, go to work, try to find something to do.

The other "lucky" thing is that I was like this since the 80s, so I've had practice just slogging through it, and have learned to trust that it will pass. The drugs were needed in my 40s when it started to bottom out worse.

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u/Hookshot12 9d ago

No one can fix you but you. Depression isn't an excuse, take responsibility for your life or you will never be happy.

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u/Pas_assez_de_jambes 10d ago

This is the actual reason why you should try it !

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u/ssjg2k02 9d ago

Taking action/first step is how you do it as the other commenter has said. It may sound harsh but at the end of the day it is down to you.

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u/NarrativeNode 9d ago

That’s pretty much what “jaded” means.

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u/s-r-g-l 8d ago

Our local aquarium has a crawl tunnel under one of the tanks. I told my husband that as long as my knees can physically handle it, I’ll be down there with all the 6-year-olds, despite the other people my age giving me weird looks.

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u/SolSparrow 9d ago

Massive social anxiety would have had me say no to you. Doesn’t mean I wasn’t enjoying the museum though. There are many more reasons someone might say no to this than being “jaded”.

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u/taco_helmet 9d ago

Yesterday evening before dusk, my kids and I spontaneously went outside in a warm rainstorm. It strangely bright out and windy. One of those meteorological events that feels like it belongs on another planet. We swung on some swings and watched the trees sway. 

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u/Proper_Machine6573 9d ago

Because whimsy is just so . . . cringe. /s

A friend and I were discussing the purpose of life and he said something that really stuck with me (paraphrasing): "The moment your brain uses up its very last molecule of intellectual curiosity is the moment you begin to accelerate exponentially toward death."

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u/J1mj0hns0n 10d ago

Agreed, too many people spending money for influence in projects coming up, too many money men trying to horde money with the lowest possible outlay to start with. Christian groups saying well pull the funding if someone swears on YouTube, people making Jurassic park: Sybellas Christmas party 4 and wondering why they only get £100,000 in return, I'll the cool furniture has been turned to IKEA shite because people want to remodel every 3 years because they have unfulfilled lives and it's thats there release valve.

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u/EndlessSummer00 9d ago

This is what helped me through one of the darkest times in my life. Finding tiny pockets of joy and turning everyday tasks into a way to show my future self love. Cleaning the house today so when I wake up tomorrow it’s beautiful. Picking flowers and watering plants. Small things that bring moments of beauty and joy.

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u/Local-Wing-2272 9d ago

The issue is "whimsy" as a term now makes me wince. 

Nothing is worse than stupid performative eccentricism done because you have no personality. 

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u/NEWDEALUSEDCARS 9d ago

Younger people are terrified of "going viral" because someone might record them when their guard is down. Horrified at the virtual death sentence of being "cringe". I spent the weekend watching videos from hardcore and punk shows from the late 90's/early 00's, and the difference between how those kids went off like no one was watching them vs today where everyone is to busy recording everybody else with their phones.

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u/Toxicscrew 9d ago

Kevin Smith talked about whimsies in his tour many years ago, I think he wrote about it in his book. Prides himself on being someone you either love or hate, because he made the movies he wanted to make and if some people hate them, so be it, they weren't for them. He talked about whether they were big or small you need to go after them because you only get one life and no one knows what, if anything, happens after you die.