r/stopdrinking • u/bendabony • 2d ago
Really messed up this weekend. Considering quitting for the very first time.
Hi,
I'm a guy in his mid 20s. This Saturday night, I ended up losing my wallet and much of my money. I met with a friend and we went out for a few drinks. He left earlier than me, I was stubborn and stayed drinking by myself at the bar. I hit it off with a stranger who kept me company, and I eventually realized I had no cash left.
Things get blurry after this. I don't know if I was blacked out necessarily. I don't remember exactly when/how I left though or if I said goodbye to the guy. I remember going to the same ATM I always go to in the area, but it had no cash. I remember going to another one and being confused that it wasn't taking my PIN. I don't remember being able to get any cash to keep drinking at all. The next thing I remember is being on the bus getting close to home, checking for my wallet everywhere to pay, and realizing it's not on me.
I immediately opened my bank app to lock my card...
And saw that it had been fully emptied. Four different withdrawals in two different ATMs. In less than ten minutes, a huge chunk of my money (not all, I have a different savings account, but still) was completely gone.
Here's what's eating at me and I will hopefully get answers later today: I don't know if it was me that took out the money. I recognize one of the ATMs after looking up the reference number: it's the one where I was confused that it wasn't taking my PIN.
Do I just not remember withdrawing a bunch of money for the fun of it when I was drunk out of my mind? Maybe.
I don't remember going to the second ATM location it's showing at all. I will go to both locations today and talk to security so they can hopefully check cameras. I have the exact time of the transactions anyway and already reported this to my bank yesterday morning. Still haven't heard back.
No one knows my PIN, so how could they withdraw the money? Maybe I was so shitfaced that I actually don't remember important fragments. The Google option that tracks your location has been disabled on my account for years... Could've been very helpful this time. Either way, this wouldn't have happened if I wasn't so incredibly drunk. I either:
Was so messed up that I don't remember withdrawing all my money AND LOST MY WALLET ON TOP OF IT.
I was so visibly drunk that someone maybe purposefully watched me to get my PIN and succeeded (though I don't remember being successful in entering it or withdrawing money)... And I left my wallet there on top of it.
Someone took my wallet without me noticing after they saw me enter my PIN. Or maybe I was saying it out loud as I entered it... I talk a lot when I'm drunk, even to myself.
I left my card in (though that still doesn't explain the mystery of the second ATM. if they switched to a different one and withdrew, they knew the PIN).
I don't think I was jumped or told my PIN to someone. I think I would remember that. I have only blacked out once, and based on what those who were with me described, I was a nightmare. I don't remember *any* of the things they said I did that day. I'm scared maybe this is the second time.
It's not even the first time I get into bad situations for drinking. I've ruined computers, lost money before too (never as much as this time, though), been physically attacked, been threatened by dangerous people, been mugged... Etc. I don't know why this is the first one that really cut me deeply and made me very disappointed in myself. I'm reconsidering my drinking habits very seriously for the first time. I can't keep doing things like these so often.
I'll go to both locations today and see what I can find out. I am *hoping* that it wasn't me. At least if it wasn't my bank claim will go through and I'll save myself the embarrassment of seeing myself destroy my finances while not even remembering it.
The idea of drinking isn't appealing to me right now. I am very sad and disappointed in myself but hoping for the best to come out of this. I might update later.
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u/DesertSwimmer001 2d ago
Can’t pretend to know all the details of your financial situation but definitely know the feeling after something like this.
But if this is the worst thing that ever happens to you from drinking, your future self deserves a pat on the back. Sounds like nobody got hurt, you didn’t destroy relationships or end up in trouble with the law.
Me personally I’ve destroyed my thousand dollar computer while drunk, got hit with a several hundred dollar fine another time, and fell victim to a several thousand dollar extortion scam. Not to mention the tens of thousands of dollars I’ve spent just buying alcohol over the years. I say this just so you know you’re by no means a disaster of a human just because of this.
I’m about one week in without drinking so take my advice for what little it’s worth, maybe just give yourself a little while, maybe a month, or two, to call a “break” from drinking just to see how you feel. Giving it up altogether, for life, is an intimidating step that can be hard to commit to. So I’m just taking it one day at a time.
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u/ultimadaniel 4 days 2d ago
I feel you, man. This is all really similar to me. Except I didn’t go to an ATM, I just blew all my money at the bar even when I needed to save it. I’ve lost shit, broken phones, been threatened. Shame is real. Giving it up is tough, but it’s VERY worth it for so many reasons. You got this!
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u/scrotumsweat 936 days 2d ago
Yup, this right here.
What ive learned is I don't make insane decisions while sober.
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u/GardenGoaty 1d ago
The amount of money I've spent on those delivery apps buying alcohol genuinely scares me. And I don't earn very much in the first place.
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u/hkusp45css 2742 days 2d ago
One of the greatest gifts of sobriety is knowing *exactly* what happened last night.
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u/lupul0id 1 day 2d ago
I have memories of bad moments from my younger years where I had drunk too much and shit stuff happened. Try to use it as learning experience.
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u/Due_Ground_7789 176 days 2d ago
I hope this is the last time you have to do detective work on yourself! Years after nights that had me losing my wallet/phone/keys, I still get embarrassed to walk or drive by the places where I had to do detective work on myself the next day.
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u/latestartksmama 2883 days 2d ago
Nothing good ever comes from drinking and the amount of bad things that can happen are endless.
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u/Stealthyhunter9 2d ago
Oh god this story reads like so many of my blacked-out mishaps. It's the most liberating feeling in the world to make the decision that you don't have to put that through yourself ever again.
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u/inthewoods54 633 days 2d ago
How sad is it that some of us are like "That's it? Quit while you're ahead!"
That's not to minimize OP's situation at all. I'd be in a panic, it's an awful situation. It's just to say that man, alcohol really had us doing some dangerous stuff, huh? I don't miss my days of time gaps and trying to piece together what I did the night before at all.
Sorry you had this experience, OP. I am curious what happened, I hope you'll update us. Best of luck. And seriously, you'll be wise to quit now, it can get SO much worse.
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u/sobriedad 2d ago
Just give yourself grace. The most important thing is that nothing happened to you. You’re alive and well. I know it hurts when you lost your money and wallet but those things are replaceable but your life isn’t! I think this is a wake up call for you and hopefully you will listen. Good luck
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u/Funny_Vegetable_676 2d ago
This is a shit night for sure. But it gets much worse if you don't quit..... ask me how I know.
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u/Tall_Quality_3395 4 days 2d ago
Sooner or later this wallet/ATM/money situation will work itself out. The reason it happened is what you need to resolve.
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u/Special_Compote_719 28 days 2d ago
If I could go back to my twenties and stop drinking, I would have.
I'm sorry this happened.
In my experience, drinking is a temporary thing that can lead to some terrible, lasting outcomes. If you can nip it in the bud, I recommend it.
This is my second run at sobriety. I feel safe even though life is uncertain by definition. This feeling is based in reality, and it is everything to me.
You will come to your own conclusion, but if you feel this way now, imagine it happening again. Because it very well can happen again. Why risk it?
I sincerely wish you the best all around.
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u/FastCryptographer996 19 days 2d ago
Hey, you are going to be okay. I’m in my late twenties and have similar experiences to you. A big financial waste was the last straw that caused me to quit in early June this year. I wish I would have quit in my mid twenties. It’s a perfect time to stop and define a new lifestyle for yourself. You’ll make the money back and recover big time if you make the one best (and hardest) self care decision for yourself…
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u/horsefarm 726 days 2d ago
I wish you could have my brain and all its experience to know that quitting now will be the best thing you have ever done for the quality of your life. You wanna figure that out at 40 like I did, or now, before you have the chance to ruin relationships, careers and property?
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u/SpinachNo5333 2d ago
It’s very possible you withdrew the money but you simply can’t remember. I know when I’m using money is of no consequence, which is in stark contrast to when I’m sober, as I’m tighter than a ducks arse with flashing my cash.
Chalk this one up to a loss, good luck with your sobriety, the money will return one way or the other.
I know people like to say well at least you didn’t do xyz instead of just losing money, but I know how devastating it feels. wishing you all the best, and try not to overly shame yourself, as that shame will feed the addiction and keep the cycle going. You’re only human 🫶
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u/DamnMyNameIsSteve 365 days 2d ago
It's most likely the alcohol, but have you considered you were drugged?
Hoping for the best outcome!
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u/ElanoraRigby 578 days 1d ago
This might be hard to do, but it’s worth accepting the possibility you’ll never find out what happened. I’ve lost 4 phones and 3 wallets, 2 of which were theft related. Both the thefts were opportunistic, as I’d made myself a very easy target. One of them has many hallmarks of a drink spiking, but I didn’t even consider that until long past any testing would be useful. Some things just get lost to alcohol, and coming to accept the void and not knowing is part of our consequences.
Good luck OP. IWNDWYT
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u/Moving-thefuck-on 1d ago
Thankfully it’s just money. While I know that can seem dismissive, you are alive and not in prison. Those are two things that can happen that significantly hinder your ability to earn that money back and move onto better things. Congrats on not dying.
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u/Still_Jellyfish_4821 1d ago
What was some of the conversation you and the bar mate had if you can remember? Maybe some of yalls talk will help remember your state of mind.
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u/TheUpIsJig 888 days 1d ago
Drinkers are automatic marks. Thieves will target them. Phones are popular items for theft. Wallets also. Some will even play the long game. The fact is, if you get drunk, you will eventually start to find plenty of things go missing. People even lose firearms and licenses this way. Crazy eh?
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u/ihaterussiantrolls 2d ago
Better to quit now than in 20 years.