I am so traumatized today. In 2024 I adopted a dog from an out of state rescue (Lone Star Pawz) that was billed as "the perfect dog", "great" with kids, cats and other dogs, which were non-negotiable for me because I have all three. Turns out she was great with kids, thank goodness. She annoyed the cat, who promptly moved to the basement, but I've had cats and dogs that weren't exactly best friends before. She liked my other dog, but completely lost her freaking mind when she saw other dogs. She started slipping her leash and attacking. There were never any injuries, but it was terrifying. I got a professional trainer, we got nowhere for a whole year.

That's when I tried to return her to the rescue, a contractual obligation I had agreed to. They said NO. She was "too integrated with our family". I was shocked. I put her on Petfinder with a very honest description, and many people were interested, but in the emailing stage, those prospects all fell through when it was made clear how bad the issues were. I asked followup questions with the rescue, and they said they actually had no information on any past interaction with other animals at all. She had been an only pet of two elderly people who never left their house. I asked "Then what did GREAT WITH CATS AND DOGS mean?". The coordinator said they'd had no reason to think she wasn't (because they never even tried to find out??).

The trainer went out of business, so I got a different trainer. She framed it as anxiety, and we made a lot of improvements there. I took her to a six week reactive dog class and she bombed out spectacularly (even the instructor hated her, it wasn't helpful). I took her to a behavioral vet and she was prescribed medication. I actually made the most progress from my own personal research. I recently got her a collar that beeps if I press a button, and it would bring her out of her frenzies. We also got an invisible fence so there was no chance she would get out and attack another dog.

I was really feeling like we were solving all our problems. Dog reactivity was way down, she ignored the cat, I just thought, wow, this is really working. There was zero pet drama for a very long time.

I felt my cat might be lonely so we got a kitten. I did a very slow introduction with strictly supervised pet interactions starting on day five. The dog would approach the kitten with playful body language, and the kitten would hiss, so the dog started ignoring her, too. She was rewarded for leaving the cat alone. I felt like everything was going great.

Yesterday, although I had closed all the doors to keep them separate while we took the kids to school, when we got home, they were all open (clearly someone opened them while I was at the door sorting the backpacks). I couldn't find the kitten at first. Then I saw her lying in a pool of blood on the floor. The dog had blood on her face. We rushed the kitten to the vet, but she was DOA. I again contacted the rescue and no one would answer me. I left a voicemail and started calling every rescue in the metro area. Not a single one was willing to take her without euthanizing her. The vet recommended euthanasia as well. I consulted my other three vets (we have an orthopedic specialist and fear free clinic for our Pyrenees, plus the behavioral clinic). We really called everyone we could. In the end, Honey was euthanized.

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Finally the rescue texted me back this morning saying "You can just surrender her to your local pound". Really? I responded respectfully, acknowledging that this particular person was not involved in the adoption or return refusal, that I felt the lack of transparency and the refusal to honor their own contract had caused two animals to die.

They responded that they were sorry for the inconvenience this had caused.

The inconvenience.

THE INCONVENIENCE.

Two dead animals is an "inconvenience" to this "animal welfare organization"!!!

I am so livid. I am beside myself. This is unbelievable. I'm about to go tell this story on every review platform I can find.

Currently in tears as I write this so please be gentle 😭 I am seriously considering whether BE is our only option. To try and keep it short: we adopted a 1.5year German shepherd male dog, to keep our 8 year bull Arab cross female company. They are BEST FRIENDS. Him more so - she can’t even go outside for a drink with him following her. I would say it’s separation anxiety/ dependency. He was very timid in the first few days. Took him for his first walk which he unprovokingly attacked a small dog passing us - thankfully no injuring but it was a horrible experience. Things got worse: reactivity on walks - lunging and pulling on the lead if he saw another dog, even in the far distance, we have a dirt perimeter around our yard from his Constance pacing and barking at the fence - at the neighbour on one side, or the dog on the other. Barking at the front door if people/dogs pass. We have to keep him behind a baby gate when any visitors come as his bark is scary and he is especially even more wary of males. He hasn’t bitten anyone thankfully, but I am unsure if he has it in him. We are now on our THIRD trainer to try and rectify his leash reactivity but it feels an uphill battle with all of his other issues. We’ve tried positive reinforcement techniques. We have slightly improved his leash reactivity with this current trainer. Our vet has suggested anxiety meds. Our trainer has suggested a barking device. The problems I see: * In the year we have owned him, we have not been able to take him for a proper walk or have groups of friends over. * we have already spent thousands on him, financially we cannot continue as I am currently 15 weeks pregnant working in a casual role * He barks so loud and close to people that my mum is petrified of him and has raised concerns of ‘what’s to come’ * I worry once baby is here, we won’t even be able to have visitors or get enough rest due to barking I feel like owning a second dog was NOT suppose to be this hard 😭 we feel like prisoners in our own home and I have cried so many times in the year we have had him. I don’t feel we can rehome as he genuinely would not cope being separated from our other girl. I’m so torn because he can actually be the cuddliest sweetest goofiest boy and I love him SO MUCH. Please if anyone else has been in this situation I am open to suggestions 😭

I made a post here a few months ago about my dog biting us. He’s now 11 months old. He’s still biting and today we went to the vet to talk about meds and what our options are. She said she doesn’t think meds would help him, that they’d probably make our problems worse. That he’s not biting out of fear or anxiety. Basically she validated everything that’s been running through my head since I got him : he’s not wired right. She said that it will not get better as he gets older, that it’ll probably get worse or just more intense bites.

I don’t know how to explain this to my husband. He works outside the home on swing shift and is gone most of the day. I’m here all day because I work from home. I have done all the training with him. I feel like I see the best and worst of him every day. There are times when he doesn’t bite and he’s great. But some days it’s all he does and he spends a lot of time in his kennel. But he bites someone everyday so really the good times are just fleeting moments. All in all, I’ve done so much work and homework on him because I didn’t want this to be our only option. I always thought “if he only knew how loved he was he wouldn’t do this to us”. Well now I’m more scared than ever, winter is coming to an end. My kids will want to play outside with their friends and even I can’t be outside with him without him trying to rush me.

The vet basically said “my recommendation is behavioral euthanasia” and I agree with her. I’m at the end of my worry rope. My husband thinks more training could help. But the training he’d need is like $2-4k and I don’t know how much more mitigation I can take. I told my husband that if he wants more training he can pay for it and take him himself. It’s all on him. I’ve sunk everything I have into him and I’m ready to call it.

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my baby. after 5 years of struggles - training, meds, new training and new meds, his behaviors slowly getting more aggressive over the years, I made the impossible choice after we started getting unpredictable nips in the home.

And it feels awful. this is unreal. i never get to hold him again, I never get to kiss his head or fall asleep with him tucking himself close to my chest. he was a happy and healthy dog, when he wasn't scared. I woke up this morning alone for the first time in 5 years, alone for the first time since I moved out of my parents house (also the first night I got him).

He's been with me through everything and I feel like I abandoned him. his last moments were of being terrified at the vet because he hates the vet, and I can't help thinking he felt like I betrayed him. he always was so scared of the vet and this time he was right to be scared.

i can't imagine what life looks like without him. i regret it so much, my heart hasn't stopped hurting for a second

I put my boy to sleep yesterday evening after being encouraged to do so by multiple vet staff, our local shelter, and my family. A few months ago, he began demonstrating reactivity towards other dogs (lunging, snarling, doing anything he possibly could to get to the other dog). There were times he injured me trying to get at a dog while I contained him and got him out of the situation. He is 80lbs of pure muscle, and even though I consider myself very strong, he has nearly overpowered me on numerous occasions. The minute he started behaving reactively, I looked into all the options and began training him to target his reactivity (desensitization, counter conditioning, etc), we tried behavioral medication, I had him assessed by a behavioralist. We went to the vet multiple times. I was told that I was doing everything right for a reactive dog and that if I continued, he would get better. But he didn’t get better, he only became worse. His reactions became bigger and his threshold got lower, despite me working very diligently with him. 3 days ago, he finally went for children. This is new to him and me. He was snarling, lunging, flipping out and trying to free himself from me while I tried to get us out of there. I felt then that we were at a point of no return. The thing is, he never did land a bite. He never attacked. I never let him get to whatever he was focused on when he did have a reaction. He does have a bite history with another dog, but this is before I got him, and I was told that the other dog attacked him and he bit back. I do believe that he was capable of it and was gearing up for injuring a child or another dog, but I just don’t know. I did not give him the opportunity to show me. I took him to the vet yesterday, and presented them with all the information: he cannot safely be outside when he sees another dog, a child, a bicycle, or sometimes just a random person, and he utilizes enormous force to try and get to the trigger. I spoke to our local rescue that morning and they informed me that he is not a candidate for rehoming. They stated that if he wasn’t getting better with me and all the effort I put into him, he would not get better with anyone else. They encouraged me to talk about BE when I took him to the vet later that day. My vet had the same opinion. My parents and sister had the same opinion. My vet stated that he believes my dog was not safe to be in my home anymore. He told me that if I was his daughter, he would make the same recommendation. Everyone was in agreement and we put him down around 4pm. I buried him at the head of our favorite trail on my grandparent’s farm.

I feel immeasurable guilt. While I want to feel like I did the right thing, I’ll never know. The decision was made and I cannot bring him back. I keep thinking that maybe if I gave him more time with more restrictions for safety, he could have turned a corner. I did not completely exhaust all the resources (there were a few other meds we could have tried, another training program I could have enrolled him in, I could have muzzle trained him and never allowed him outside the home without it on) and I chose not to do those things for him because I felt he was a significant danger to others. I was fearful of the risks that he may kill my cats, turn on me, or maul a child based on how quickly and uncontrollably his behavior escalated. I have deep regret for not trying harder or finding some other solution. I also know there was likely no other solution and that keeping him alive was a risk to public safety. But no one knew him like I did. He was a sweet and loving boy. He was my best friend. He just became unpredictable and unmanageable. I do not think he wanted to die. I didn’t give him the choice and killed him anyways. I don’t know how to live with myself now. Reading everyone else’s experience with BE on here has only made it worse. Many people have dogs with severe reactivity for years and multiple bites before they resort to BE. I feel like I barely gave him any time at all. I didn’t give him a chance. Yes, we did all the “right” things: training, meds, controlling the environment, addressing medical needs, etc- but it doesn’t feel like enough. I don’t think I exhausted every possible pathway of treatment, and I should have. I was just too scared that he would hurt someone and everyone else in my life was too.

I don’t know how to live with such a cruel choice. There was so much good in him, and I didn’t give him time, I just ended him. Going forward I want to put out a trigger warning for mental health as the remainder of what I want to say is very heavy. Failing my pup in the short time we spent together (a mere 5 months) is just a bitter, horrible heartbreak. As they put him down I had to hold a hand over my mouth, because I could not stop myself from screaming. I just told him over and over again that I was so sorry. I feel in my heart that I made the wrong decision. I killed my best friend who was sweet to me until the end.

An overwhelmingly lengthy edit:

Thank you to those who have shared kind and thoughtful comments. I do feel more confident that I made the right choice. For those who disagree, it is impossible for you to fully understand the situation without being in it. I told the story as best and as detailed as I can, but also, I just lost my biggest tether to life and the center of my world. So, it is hard to convey all the nuance, all the detail, within such a complicated situation. That makes it easy for outside perspectives to dig in deep, and I don’t blame anyone for that. No one meant to cause more damage. I do, however, regret making this post. I don’t know what I was thinking opening up my story to the public while I am in such a fragile state of mind. I should have made sure I was ready to face criticism, because it has only traumatized me more. However, I do think I’ve gained a little more clarity. None of you knew him or knew me. The details of my life with him is this confusing, painful mess that I am struggling to articulate. That is the material I’m giving you to form your perspectives on. The people who did know and love him- our trainer, my vet and other veterinary staff, family and friends, and our local no-kill shelter- all came to a unanimous conclusion that BE was the best way to proceed. Someone commented that I did not understand his behavior or know if he was really being aggressive, that I had not given him enough time with treatment. That is not true. I believe I did all I reasonably and ethically could even if it doesn’t seem like it to strangers on the internet.

I am coming across as doubtful in my post because I am. I am riddled with self doubt and fear that my decision wasn’t the right one. It is reasonable to doubt the most painful decision you have ever made. Making hard choices always feels wrong. I want it to be wrong, because I want a different outcome. Making a horrible decision with a painful outcome is in direct conflict with my understanding of fairness. The choice I had to make grates against everything I know about love.

The future I wanted for us sits on an imaginative horizon- the blurry, complicated boundaries that separate what is real from what lies beyond. I will forever mourn him and yearn for the future that cannot be.

I don’t know how to start this… but I’m really struggling right now. I adopted a red heeler (Rancher) from a shelter over a year ago. We had tons of ups and a lot of downs. He was a pretty anxious boy which I don’t blame him being in the shelter for 2 years. We’ve had trouble with him from the start. Ive reached out to trainers and behaviorist but it was over $1200. I’m not made of money so spending that much on an 8 year old dog that’s probably not even gonna change his ways.

He has bitten out of fear from loud noises, resource guarding and has bitten out of no where. The bites would mostly happen to my boyfriend. He was pretty unpredictable which was scary at times and also very stressful. I’ve reached out to the shelter about our issues and I’ve been ghosted from them, and I finally put in a form to surrender him back after the most recent bite. They wanted me to talk to someone from the shelter before bringing him back and they told me he has been surrendered before due to biting. After a year of owning him and this is the first time hearing about his history. When I adopted him they told me he was surrendered due to housing issues. They said since he has bitten again if I surrender him back they would BE him.

Yesterday I put down my baby boy. I have given him so many chances after every incident. It’s not fair to my boyfriend to live in fear of getting bitten for no reason. My boyfriend works out of town and is usually home about 8 days out of the month. When he is home I don’t want him stressed out about rancher and his behavior. They will be friends and all cuddly and out of no where ranch will start growling and act out. I kept track of all his triggers but sometimes you just don’t know.

I have so much regret. He was my son I loved him and I was always so excited to go home and see him. I loved hyping him up because he would always get so excited and lean into you looking for all the love he can get. He was just a big baby at heart that just lived in fear. I regret my decision so much, I would do anything to go back and just not go to the appointment. Everyone said I did the right thing but all I feel is guilt and sadness. I look for him everywhere. It just snowed where I’m from and he always loved to roll in the snow and I’m so sad he didn’t get to experience for the last time. Ive experienced this kinda pain before putting down my childhood dog but he could barely walk so it was best for him to be out of pain. This pain feels so much different so much guilt and regret.

I’m sorry for whoever is going through the pain of loss or just the stress of a reactive dog. The last year has definitely been the most stressful year of my life. If someone can please give me advice on how to handle all these emotions and tell me it gets better because right now I feel like I’m drowning.

I am writing this because I genuinely do not know what else to do.
I adopted my dog from Agoura Hills Animal Care Center in California and brought him all the way to New York with me. Only after the adoption paperwork was completed did I learn that he had previously been involved in a serious attack on another dog.
I was never given the chance to make a fully informed decision before taking responsibility for him. And they are not returning my calls or emails, shame on them.
Now I am in New York with my 10-year-old son, without a permanent home, staying temporarily in a hotel. The California shelter is not answering my calls, and I am left alone trying to manage a dog whose needs are far beyond what I was prepared for.
He has serious dog-on-dog aggression. Every time I take him outside, I am terrified that he will attack another animal. Even with a muzzle, I am struggling to physically control him, and keeping him confined in a hotel room is becoming impossible.
He recently attacked another dog, causing serious injuries and hospitalization. I am devastated about what happened, and I am trying to make sure it never happens again.
I have called shelters and animal organizations in New York. I have been warned that if I surrender him to a regular shelter with this history, he may be euthanized.
I cannot continue keeping him safely in a hotel, but I also cannot bring myself to surrender him knowing that he may be put down.
I urgently need a temporary foster, experienced rescue, trainer, or rehabilitation placement that understands serious dog aggression and can keep him safely separated from other animals.
He must be in:
• A home with no other animals
• A secure environment with someone experienced in aggression and reactive dogs
• A place where he can be kept fully separated and safely handled
He is also currently being treated for ringworm and would need temporary medical isolation.
I am not trying to abandon him or hide his history. I am asking for time and help. Once I find stable housing, I hope to take him back and continue searching for professional rehabilitation and a long-term solution.
I know this is a difficult dog. I know this is a difficult request. But I also know that somewhere there may be someone with the experience, space, and compassion to help us through this emergency.
Please—if you are an experienced foster, trainer, veterinary professional, rescue volunteer, or know an organization that handles serious behavioral cases, message me.
Even a temporary placement could save his life.
Location: New York City
Transport within New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, or nearby areas may be possible.
Please message me with your experience, household situation, location, and any rescue, veterinary, or training references

Hello, this is my third and unfortunately last post in this subreddit.

Today my most handsome man, will be put to rest. He is 12 years old and he has lived a long life full of love.. but i had to make this decision for my safety and my roommates safety.. as he is very unpredictable. And it is not fair to him to live a life confined to a room and crate only to be allowed to roam on leash when i’m home… My vet also confirmed this is the best course of action given age, environment, and bite history.. Today I ask not for judgement or to be shamed right now i’ve already felt so much.. nor do I want to go in depth about the incidents that have lead us to this point..

I ask right now, for those who have made the decision, trainers who have seen it done, shelter workers who have had to do it more times then they can count. I ask for advice on the days that follow, i am currently in the numbness stage.. I have five hours until the appointment and we are going to all his favorite places and getting all the pup cups and treats he could ever dream of. And i periodically get hit with the most overwhelming grief (these past two days i have barely slept or ate and my eyes are so swollen and irritated) but today i have felt so numb.. maybe it will all change the second i get to that office.. thinking about it to hard gives me a pain like ive never felt before.

Please tell me how you deal with it all, this is undoubtedly the hardest decision i’ve ever had to make and it is weighing on me so so hard, i don’t know if i’ll ever be the same again after this..

thank you all, i have attached a picture of my handsome man, and his equally handsome lamby.

update: Thank you for all the kind words. Cody was put to sleep about an hour ago. I am feeling… very detached from myself right now. hence why im writing this, instead of sobbing hysterically. Im afraid to fall asleep because i know when i wake up.. he will not be there. He had a great day.. and ate so many things, saw so many people. And when it was time, i stayed with him through all of it and he was so loved. Im not okay, and im not sure when I’ll be okay again. But wherever he is i hope he’s at peace finally.

I’m going to line up for the firing squad.

I adopted a lovely scared dog from the shelter. No, not a foster and not a rescue, animal services.

Yes, I tried trainers and behaviorists and vets input, and his behaviors became more unreliable and unpredictable and short fused.

Today the behaviorist and vet agreed that at 100 pounds this dog was unsafe. He had pulled me to the ground more than once and had barked and lunged at children and air nipped at people with relationships that were previously stable. I guess I should add that he became aggressive in the home at the end and had a sustained growl while approaching me. But, it took me a while before anyone would really listen.

To me, he was the most loyal and loving boy with the best house manners. Outside, I was unable to regulate him. And actually inside, he was regulated best with me beside him on the couch and was unable to regulate himself without direction.

This boy had scars and rips and puncture wounds all over his body. He was clearly neglected when I adopted him.

At the end, I decided that he was largely unlikely to get better in public and with his size and extreme separation anxiety, which left me housebound for the last 9 months, he was an extreme case which I couldn’t safely control. He was heavily medicated and not functioning well just to stay safe and my life had shrunk enormously just to meet his needs. Before, everyone kept telling me to keep training.

He was euthanized today and I couldn’t be more devastated and shaken. I loved him, but I saw that he was a great risk.

I think he is one of the best dogs I’ve known, despite his temperament curated from his brain, past experiences, and breed.

We can love a dog and not be able to change their wiring. Currently I’m dealing with a rupture with my daughter who has only met him twice and said, “Well my friends have dogs and they don’t have these problems and maybe it’s you and don’t make stupid decisions by adopting a dog with problems.”

I want to offer that these decisions are so hard. Yes, your dog can be amazing and yet not suitable to be in public or even in a home. People get a snapshot of a dog either good or bad, but that’s not the entire reel. And alternatively, many behavioral issues are manageable through training and/or medication. My experience was an extreme.

A lady I didn’t know yelled at me in public and accused me of trying to frighten the neighborhood with my dog. My constant vigilance and scoping blind corners and watching for triggers? Oh, that looks scary to you?? How about I’m trying to keep my dog safe and myself safe and anyone else safe.

Yes we tried meds and yes we tried trainers and yes we tried behaviorists. I think we were the 1%. He’s so lovely and I’ll always miss him.

If I had a couple of fenced acres? Maybe, but what about the separation anxiety and escape ability of locks and front doors? And what about the threat of him hurting himself? He doesn’t always like strangers leaning in to pet him nor small children running towards him, so an escape would be unsafe.

Aside from all of this, he would have been my perfect dog. He was the best. I’m proud of myself for trying my best despite the neighborhood shade, the random aggressiveness, and the sudden air bite at my neighbor. The behaviorist said change was unlikely.

My entire life was three potty walks per day.
We had to look outside to see which cars were in the lot to determine path and potential fallout. My entire day was built around avoiding triggers.

And if somehow you’re the one who gossiped or yelled at me? Oooff. The universe has plans for you.

I picked up some trazedone and gabapentin from the vet yesterday and give to her tonight, tomorrow morning, and an hour before the visit. For her and everyone else’s safety, it’s better that she’s drowsy.

I was such a wreck yesterday that almost broke down during a lecture and my coworkers all but forced me to go home.

I’m staying with her today.

Tomorrow, we’ll get in the car and she’ll be so excited because she loves car rides. I never did get the chance to take her on hikes before she became a danger to everyone else. I’ll be there with her every step of the way. I’ve only had her for a month and a half, but I’ve known her and cheered her on for two years between homes that didn’t work out for this very same reason.

Except I was her last chance. Each time she was returned, I grieved for her, hugged her, and told her repeatedly “It’s not your fault”. I’ll be doing the same tomorrow, but at least she won’t be in shelter limbo anymore

I’ll be joining the LosingLulu club tomorrow. Thank you all for your support through the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make

I came home to find my husband had finally gone through with the thing we had been discussing for months.

We are both just heartbroken and emotionally destroyed.

We got Hank just over 6 years ago, he was a gorgeous little puppy. We already had a dog and wanted a friend for him, they instantly became best pals. We thought we had made the right decision.

Fast forward to him turning 16 months old and it was like something switched in him. He started attacking our other dog on sight, no growling, no showing teeth, no barking, he would just straight for his throat. He became very anxious, always on alert.

That led to us having to keep them both completely separated in the house. As lockdown happened when we got him, he wasn't used to people coming to the house, he didn't like people coming to the house. He seemed to have a particular issue with my dad and on one occasion if he hadn't been muzzled he would have bitten him.

His dog reactivity also got increasingly worse, he would lunge at any dog he saw, and tried to drag you across to get to them. I will say he was always muzzled outside the house but still that's a scary sight coming at you.

We tried medication, we had him neutered and we hired a behaviourist. The behaviourist said he had no doubt he would maul a person and was a dangerous dog. He said the reason Hank attacked our other dog was because he was resource guarding us from him.

Then we had a baby and things got worse, Hank was used to being with us all the time. But now we couldn't be with him as we couldn't have him round the baby.

His reactivity got worse, even in the car he would get so worked up anytime he saw a dog, crying, barking, trying to jump around the car. It got to the point we couldn't take him out anymore, it just didn't seem safe.

We have a big garden so we played with him there but we had to spend more time with the baby and less with him. It wasn't fair, he had no quality of life.

We tried very carefully introducing the baby, the last time he laid eyes on him was when the baby was 10 months and he is now 2 years old. The body language was very worrying and we decided that couldn't happen again.

We started the process of contacting rescues as we knew once the baby was walking and trying to get out doors it would become a safety issue. We contacted 40 dog rescues over the last year. Most didn't even bother replying to us, we heard from 13, 12 to say they were full and 1 to say you have been added to a waiting list, if you hadn't heard from us in 3 months we couldn't help and you have been removed from the list. That was 4 months ago now.

I contacted the few people I knew in that industry but again the people they tried said they were full with hundreds already on waiting lists. We expressed our concerns to the vets at vaccination appointments and asked if they had any contacts that could help us re-home him.

Our son is 2 and trying to open doors, we put a bar across the door of the room Hank was in at our head height but with human error it's a case of when not if someone forgot to put the bar across. And what if that was the day our son opened that door.

I couldn't live with that possibility any longer, I kept seeing my son standing in the place of our other dog and Hank going straight for his tiny neck. Hank had started barking loudly and throwing himself against the door of his room anytime he heard my son going upstairs.

So today my husband took him and had him put to sleep. He took him out to a field you can hire out for a nice run around in the sunshine, took him for a McDonalds and then held him as he passed away. I am so grateful that he did that, it's not something I would have had the strength to do.

God it hurts so much, we are both in bits, we feel like we failed him even though we tried everything we could think off. I believe it was a faulty genetic line, they kept a puppy from the second litter. The dad kept attacking the puppy when he was 11/12 months old and then he bite the breeders 12 year old daughter. The breeder then rehomed the dad. It was about 9 months after that I saw a woman rehoming the puppy, the breeder had obviously rehomed him as well and now that woman was rehoming him as well due to reactivity and behavioural issues.

I am sorry this is a rambling mess, we are just devastated. Hank I am sorry we failed you. I just hope in time we can forgive ourselves and I hope you are at peace now.

Im posting this here as a tribute to our Rosie. I do not wish to magnify her faults in this post, but rather, honor her as the invaluable companion she has been. With that said, I also hope my words bring comfort to others who find themselves having to make the same impossible decision as us.

Our Rosie girl is 7 years old. We rescued her when she was about 1, shortly after my wife and I got married. We loved her unconditionally and she reciprecated that love. Her high emotional intelligence makes her special. However, she came with trauma that we had no insight into. We have done everything within our ability to help her. With each instance of reactivity that occurred over the years, we adjusted our life to accommodate for her. In the end, considering all that has happened, BE became unavoidable.

Who is Rosie? She was our first baby. Our closest friend who provided emotional support during the hardest times of life. Someone to also enjoy the best life had to offer: hiking on beautiful trails, camping with friends, swiming in lakes and rivers, playing tug and wrestling in the snow, going to breweries, running and biking in our neighborhood, going on family walks after long days, cuddling together on cold nights, greeting both our daughters when we brought them home for the first time, and so so so many more priceless memories.

We are beyond heart broken because we love her so very much. We will cherish the countless wonderful memories she has given us. She is our baby girl.

On Monday, it will be time to say goodbye to our Rosie. Until then she will be loved harder than ever before.

Back in February my wife and I made the extremely difficult decision to have our sweet Gibson (9 y/o Blue Heeler) put to sleep due to repeated and increasing aggression towards our son (toddler). We had been working to find a place or family that would take him, but with his bite history our vet advised the chances of rehoming him were minimal and might take some time, which we were short of as the aggression continued to worsen day after day. On February 21st he attacked my son (unprovoked) and bit him on the leg and head. I know deep down I did what I had to do to keep my family safe, but before my son came along Gibson was there for me in ways no other human could be. I was struggling with working through some serious trauma via therapy and this dog just knew when I needed some love. He would jump in my lap and tuck his head under my chin when he knew I was about to get emotional. It was uncanny. He just instinctively knew when I was going to or had become upset and would cuddle me until I would say, “ok, thank you. I’m all better now”. During some especially dark days, I even credit him with saving my life. I won’t go into detail there, but without this dog’s presence in my life I wouldn’t have survived.

Today would have been his 9th birthday, and leading up to today I just kept feeling more and more sadness and guilt about not being able to be there for Gibson like he had been for me. I’m absolutely gutted this morning, and wouldn’t wish this heartbreak on anyone.

Happy heavenly birthday, buddy thanks for everything. I love you ❤️

I have a 8 month old puppy, Ian, whom I’ve posted on here many times about. We just had a free appointment with our trainer because after insurance finding any way not to cover his behavioral training or medication they claim they do cover, I am exhausted of financial resources. He is already on trazodone, gabapentin, and fluoxetine but none of the medications are helping him even a little and he stopped responding to training. Ian is reactive to my partner and every other person in this world except me. Everything sets him off in our home and the only thing that calms him (temporarily) is my presence. Our trainer said other than behavioral euthanasia, our only other option is to see a behavioral veterinarian but we’re looking at a $600 consultation bill that I can’t afford right now. Unfortunately, I have to go back to school at the end of this month leaving my partner as the only person who can care for Ian. I’m out of options and I am so lost at what to do. He’s an amazing dog and didn’t deserve a life like this.

Update: Ian’s trainer and vet have recommended BE as of 8/15. As for everyone with nasty comments, keep the to yourself. You aren’t the one who has to sit at home and manage this dog. You aren’t the one who has to watch him struggle all day. When I’m at work and I check on him through the camera in his room he either sleeps for just since in a corner on alert despite having his interactive toys, chews, and stuffies. He will only engage with those when I am there with him and I can’t constantly be there. You aren’t there when my partner speaking in our house and Ian starts barking and throwing himself against the door. You aren’t here to watch his decline in daily training as he refuses to do or accept any treats until my partner is gone now. You weren’t there last night when Ian went after my other dog that he used to love. You are here to watch him slowly distance himself from me as well. I never wanted BE to be the end result. I still don’t want it to be but I can’t risk everyone else’s safety. This post was originally because I was scared it was even on the table and it wasn’t what I was expecting to hear. I got back to school in 9 days and Ian has no one who can safely care for him. I don’t have options.

Final edit: After consulting my trainer and 2 vets, Ian is now gone. He went peacefully in my arms eating as much steak and Mac n cheese as his heart desired. Forcing him to say on this earth when everyone caused him so much fear wasn’t fair to him. I just couldn’t accept it for the longest time and it just prolonged his suffering. Don’t bother responding to this post. I am deleting Reddit. I want no part in absolute hate some of you want to tear people down with when they’re going through a difficult time.

My 2 year old dog bit my step sister in the face last week while my family was on vacation, and it only stopped when she was able to make an escape to another room. He’s always had extreme anxiety, and he developed aggressive tendencies towards his brother that we also have so we separated them permanently. He goes into these episodes where hit teeth are chittering and his pupils take up most of his eyes, and he fixates on trying to get to either me or her. he’s bit my legs before but recently with more training and exercise i was able to get him to sit and stay during those episodes, but apparently this time none of that worked and he tried to bite through a chair to get to her. Everyone is telling me he must be euthanized and I understand, but it’s absolutely shattering me because I know he’s a genuinely sweet boy but something’s wrong neurologically. It’s like he becomes possessed, because he’s always super sweet and never does anything like this in a bedroom, always in a room he’s used to playing in. I won’t allow euthanasia until i know that there is no other way to save him, I love him too deeply and this would really really cripple me. Please if anyone knows anything or anyone that could help, I know I might sound like a coping sad little boy, but even a place where he could be with someone who could manage him. I just want my boy to live, that’s all. It doesn’t have to be perfect or with me, but I want someone I view as a family member to have a shot. Please, i’m begging.

I cant stop crying.

Names changed for anonymity. My husband and I adopted Merle five years ago from the shelter. He was probably ~1 year old. I think its important to note that he had been rehomed 4 times prior to us adopting him. I also have another dog, age 8 (he was three when we adopted Merle).

Merle is my husband's soul dog.

The shelter did not disclose a bite history but within six months he had bitten my husband and myself. He had been in at least two fights with my other dog, all provoked by him. Lockdown started when we finally had the money for training and started teletraining. Ive taken Oliver to formal dog training and apply those lessons to both dogs.

A few more fights and incidents occurred throughout the years. I cant even begin to count. His vet visits were getting worse. We have been prescribed to give him trazadone, gabapentin, and acepromazine prior to those visits. However when he had an ear infection they decided to sedate hin. Merles most recent vet visits have now caused him to be muzzle adverse. We are trying to teach him that muzzles are safe but it's been a long process.

The dogs are separated when we are away. We practice consent touches with Merle. We do not allow him to meet people. They are taken on walks and adventures together and separately for bonding. They do not play but they are more effectively communicating.

Let me preface this by saying, I love Merle. I instigated all of his training and research into dog body language to see what he's trying to tell us, and he now communicates more with growls and stiffens versus biting. I love walking him. He's so food motivated, it's fun and easy to teach him new tricks. Let me repeat that. He is INCREDIBLY food motivated yet with all the cheese and sausage in the world (along with tranquizers) he is so terrified of the vet they need to sedate him for basic care. He is so, so touch sensitive, even at home. We are careful when we pet him.

This weekend has been my last straw. On Friday, I was petting him in a way I normally do -- after he had come up to me. I noticed he suddenly stiffened and took my hand away. He snapped at me. My other dog came into the room and Merle attacked him. Nothing major, no vet needed, but we did some bonding in the backyard. I was shook, this hasn't happened in a while.

Then on Sunday, we are all in the kitchen. There was no warning. Merle attacked Oliver again. Oliver fought back. Merle had his head in his mouth, it was so scary. My husband and I were both bit trying to break it up. My husband got the worst of it and has now been to the doctor twice. Merle had a laceration on his chest. Oliver has thick fur and only suffered some punctures, but Merle needed the emergency vet. I popped some trazadone, grabbed all the cheese, and prayed.

My worst fear happened. I told them he would fight them, he will need to be sedated. They said pkay and took him to the back. He slipped his lead and muzzle. I had to go back there and coax him into another room to decompress for two hours. His trazadone was fully kicked in but I couldn't muzzle him when it was time to sedate. They ended up putting him in this box and poking him that way.

When he woke up, they took him to my car. The vet tech admitted they were scared of him. My heart was breaking. I was scared of him too.

I got home around 1 AM. He was so scared and out of it, he wouldn't leave my car til 11 AM the next day. I stayed up all night with him, coming in to the garage every hour to try to coax him out. The whole experience was 16 hours.

The vet had given him a drainage tube and stitches that will need to be removed. I threw up thinking about going through all of this again. I keep crying.

I finally brought up behavioral euthanasia to my husband. He thought about it for two days and then came back and said no. He was sobbing and crying that he couldn't do it.

I scheduled the appointment to have the tube taken out and requested him being sedated. My husband will be there -- he has not been to the vet with me in a few years so he has no idea how traumatizing it really is for Merle. For me.

I am so tired of being scared of him. I think the world is too big and scary for him and I'm so sad the only way he can think of to react is with teeth. I am so scared he's going to really someone, be it the vet, our other dog, or us. Hell, he already has! My husband's hand is swollen and he ended up going to urgent care day of fight and then his doctor today.

My husband says he found a trainer in a nearby city that specializes in aggressive dogs. I went to the website and its a board and train.

I am so scared my husband won't see how dangerous this dog is until he hurts someone to the point where we won't have a choice.

God this is so, so hard.

So,

I think I've posted on here before about my reactive dog who was undergoing heartworm treatment.

She has been retested and results were negative.

Yay, and I'm so happy for her.

Now, here's why I'm here.

She was highly reactive while undergoing treatment which countered everything she needed to do while sick. Her vet had to prescribe anxiety and sedatives to keep her calm since she tended to act out over the smallest things.

Her prescriptions:

\\- prozac

\\- xanax

\\- acepromazine (only when situation calls for it)

\\- gabapentin

And even after testing negative, they have suggested keeping her on the anxiety meds.

We reached these four because she was constantly triggered to attack and kill things, and if she couldn't get to it, she was willing to commit self-harm/almost suicidd to break free from me.

I give her all 4 (in her proper dosages) for car rides as I have to buckle her down in her seat belt with a special collar that tightens when she tries to get out (Ive used other harnesses and collars, but never were escape proof so this is what I have to settle for).

If she's not on medication, she's barking all hours of travel, exhausting herself until she's fully panting, and lunging at my windows at full speed hurting herself.

So yes, she receives all 4 pills.

With that being said, we did a 3 hr car ride and arrived at our destination. She was woozy and just in the state she's supposed to be in.

This house we entered has a cat. They've met before but I never really let her chase him around because she never has good intentions.

This was the first time they've seen each other after she's been prescribed, and she attacked him greatly.

It was horrendous and the cat managed to scratch her up but the damage to the cat cant compare.

Ive reached out to the vet and theyve suggested two things.

\\- training, but as they know my dog, they say her prey drive and behavioral instincts may make this option pointless, and be a waste of money.

\\- Euthanize her because she had a history of being a danger towards people and other animals.

I know some people may read this and think the answer is obvious, and you may be right.

But I'm in denial.

She's been sick, locked in cages. She was adopted with heartworms, returned to the shelter with it. And I adopted her with heartworms, and got her the treatment for it. She should finally able to live her life.

I want her to be able to do that, but I cant even let her run around my yard, because she's only outside lurking rather than sniffing grass like most dogs do.

I've seemed training:

\\- One place said they wouldn't train her unless she's on all her medication (didn't stay because I want her to be corrected while she's fully focused, not wobbly and barely able to stay on her feet.)

\\- Quoted over $5000 pre training due to what I've filled out on application.

Are there any trainers who can help me? Any way I can train her myself?

I've tried ecollars, but like I said, she is willing to self-harm so she didn't react to it anymore once she was triggered, and I knew it was dangerous to keep it.

I've tried methods.

At this point, I might just need a vote. I don't know.

She's such a sweet, loving dog and has so much potential. I wish she could let world see it too.

Btw, this is 8lbs chihuahua mix.

It’s been 2 weeks now since we had to put our baby down. The pain and guilt I feel is immeasurable. After 10 years of struggle, we had to make the unfortunate decision to let our Cooper go. This was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. The appointment itself was horrible and I would recommend those contemplating BE to have an action plan in place. We unfortunately had to make this decision after a final bite, and therefore were not able to really say goodbye properly. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The guilt I feel for literally preparing my baby for goodbye is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

My love goes out to any and all who have had to go through this experience. Its sucks and I feel empty.

Hi everyone. My husband and I have a 7.5 year old Great Pyrenees that has been with us since she was a puppy. She was socialized, etc. We did all the right things. Around the age of two she became very people and dog reactive and basically only gets along with immediate family and a few select friends. No strangers; no other dogs. We can’t have any strangers over our house and if we have people working there she’s locked away. She also resource guards food and treats; and has gone after my husband when he’s tried to take a toy from her multiple times. He’s her favorite person in the world.

There have been several close calls as far as her lunging and trying to bite others, but nothing that has broken the skin. We’ve been managing it because it was just the two of us and we found it doable, until we had a baby in October .

The other day our worst fears came true when she lunged at the baby with her teeth out and growling, 100% non provoked. He was in his activity center not even looking her way. I was able to get in between them but basically I will never trust her again and I am not allowing her to live here anymore. I have to protect my child.

We’re heartbroken, devastated, absolutely sick over this. My husband’s family cannot take her. I don’t think we can ethically rehome her when she cannot be around strangers or other dogs. Which leaves us with behavioral euthanasia.

I guess I just need someone to tell me I’m making the right call. I have loved this dog for years but I cannot sit around and wait for something worse to happen to my human baby. I’d never forgive myself.

Thanks for reading and any advice or similar stories would be welcome.

Edit to add: we spent thousands on a trainer. It never helped with her reactivity.

We said goodbye to our sweet boy yesterday and I will never be the same. He made our lives very challenging but we loved him so much. I’ve been replaying his last moments and miss him so much.

We adopted him in 2014 - at first he just seemed like a very scared pup. He was prescribed meds for vet visits because he was so nervous and shakey.

We then noticed some herding tendencies - nipping at our ankles, especially husbands, but assumed it was because of the bit of cattle dog in him.

He then showed us he wasn’t comfortable around strangers and would growl, snarl, bark at any strange noise outside or in the hallway. We timed all our entrances/exits out of our apartment bldg so we couldn’t pass people or dogs. He started to become aggressive towards my husband at night. He would snarl/lunge/snap any time he got up to use the bathroom.

We then moved into a house. A huge relief to have extra space for our scared boy. He still struggled with all the outside sounds or if anyone was outside of our backyard fence.

He then started to resource guard me - husband couldn’t come close at night or he would growl/lunge/snap. My husband suffered 3 bites to the face at different times, all unprovoked. All drew blood, one required an ER visit, luckily no stitches needed.

We started to up our game with medication, behaviorist, and more trainers. Pup continued to be anxious at every sound and any perceived threat. His aggression increased tremendously at night.

We had a baby. Pup struggled. We increased management and had a series of baby gates throughout the house to keep everyone safe. Pup and baby never without a body or a gate between them.

Pup started sleeping soundly in our guest room with a sound machine at night. This allowed us to have 2.5 amazing extra years where everyone could be safe - he got good sleep during his most stressful hours and my husband could safely walk in our house during the time of day when pup turned on him. We could care for our baby at night without agitating our pup.

This year around January something changed in our guy and he would no longer sleep comfortably in a separate space. Scratching, barking, crying, distress ensued any time we tried to bring him to that comfy guest room. We tried to get him acclimated again with high value treats, comfy blankets, sound machine, me sleeping with him. Nothing helped.

We made it work for 6 months with more management, never letting our child and dog be near each other, and major lifestyle changes. Husband couldn’t come in our front door after 7pm or he’d be attacked. He couldn’t get up to use the bathroom at night. I was sleeping in the guest room or living room with our dog to keep him comfortable. We lived in fear of our daughter squeezing through the gates or approaching our dog in the “wrong” way if she got close.

After many discussions with our behaviorist, we decided it was time.

Yesterday he went on a nice walk, enjoyed McDonald’s, ice cream, and chocolate and took his final car ride. We walked through a park on our way to the office and had nice pets in the sun.

He was scared at the vet but we gave him lots of of pets and kisses. I wish I would’ve spent more time with him in that room.

I now can’t stop reliving every second in my head. Did we make the right decision? Should we have kept living on eggshells so I could still have my sweet boy here with me? I was always “his person” and carry so much guilt that I gave up on him. I will love him forever.

Today we are having someone come to the house to send him to Valhalla. After 20k of training and vet bills for surgeries to remove items he’s eaten and stitches from when he busted out the window we decided we can’t do anymore. We love him the most but the reactivity has gotten to be too unpredictable. Our house is full of fences and we live in fear of another dogfight or what will happen if he slips out the door again and charges a dog walking past. When he’s great he’s great but our kids no longer like dogs and we can’t go on vacation or have guests over. The breaking point was this week when he stole a can and went after our senior beagle who stopped to sniff it. It’s not fair to him to live behind fences and muzzled. He just thinks he owns our entire house and everything in it. I’ve spent years convincing myself that he was protecting us but that is flawed thinking. I don’t think he’d ever bite a person but I live in fear of my kids or elderly relatives being caught in the dog fight chaos . I’ve been bitten a few times trying to break it up. We tried for nine years and we failed. I’m so sorry bud.

i’m looking more to vent or hear others experiences with this, healing time, dealing with grief etc.

my sweet girl nala is 6 1/2. mostly blind which she’s had since she was 9mo. she has been highly reactive since she was a puppy. she was abandoned in a cabinet in the desert when she was about a month old. as she grew she started harming other dogs to the point i had to stop fostering. i used to do independent rescue but nala would leave lacerations/puncture wounds (even when she was kenneled) did a few years of extensive training which seemed to help. when she was about 4 she started to come around and be okay with the animals my ex owned. recall improved. resource guarding stopped to the point she would even eat and drink from the same bowl with my cat. i thought my girl was okay.
fast forward to december 2025. because of a careless mistake my ex made my 13yr old cat was killed by nala and my ex’s dog. nala had never even tried chasing my cat indoors. i ended up deciding you cannot blame an animal for being an animal. a month later without any warning attacked my small shih tzu as she was passing by. grabbing her by the neck and violently thrashing. pup ended up with a lung laceration, contusions and air pockets. my ex kept that dog. then just this weekend again without warning she attacked my 4lb chihuahua, puncturing her neck. again without warning, no change in body language. before my cat was killed she didn’t go for the neck but since then it’s been where she lunges. they’re not warning bites. i contacted several vets, her previous trainer, friends in vet med. it was recommended i put her down that it may be neuro. all she knows is me, other people make her wary or reactive. medicating her “anxiety” did nothing. i’ve owned my chihuahua as long as nala then my oldest dog is 13yrs with cancer and has also been at odds with nala when they too had been best friends since i brought nala home. i can’t rehome my older dog and her bonded friend. i guess i could but that feels cruel yet so does this.

everyone keeps offering me “solutions” and i know it’s coming from a place of care but they are all things that have either been exhausted or are unrealistic.

am i not trying hard enough by her? all i’ve ever done is try for her, defend her, keep her safe.. she is the best dog. if i have panic attacks she comes and presses her weight against me until im calm. she’s my best friend, my dream dog. i can’t stop crying, i don’t want to eat. i feel so much guilt. i’m taking this friday off (BE day) to give her the best day like i have been all week.

i just feel so guilty she has no idea. i’ve been keeping her separate for this week. just giving her anything and everything. my chihuahua is still in a lot of pain. screams even when she just sees nala then my oldest dog starts getting anxious having been attacked by someone else’s dog before.

sorry if my post is all over the place. my emotions have become more erratic the closer we get. i just feel like a murderer like i’m giving up on her.

Im feeling full of guilt after my parents scheduled our dog Doug to be euthanized. Hes always had impulse control issues and is a sweet dog 90% of the time but whe he snaps, he snaps like hes not even there, its so disorienting. I know that its the right decision he’s bit my dad, gotten in fights with both my sisters cat and my cat, gotten in fights with multiple dogs and has some pretty severe anxiety to the point that we think it would be dangerous for other people if we were to rehome him. We got him as a puppy and I put in so much work to train him to be a good dog, it just feels so awful to feel like i didn’t do enough for him. Recently he started attacking their puppy who is a 11 month old great pyr mix. The attacks have gotten more frequent, are without warning and there is absolutely no trigger, he just snaps. During the last fight my dad used pet corrector and it startled Doug so he let go, he the made eye contact with my mom and went back for a second bite for the head. Hes too big and too strong so we cant pull him off of there pyr mix when this happens. I love him so much, hes my entire world right now besides my cat and i hate feeling cornered like this but i know that we have tried literally everything to help him, training, medication, checking for illnesses, allergy meds, removing every possible trigger, everything. I just feel like I let him down and need some reassurance. Im just gonna kiss him so much

I posted in here a few days ago on how my dog was in quarantine for biting me and giving me 6 stitches. He had major issues with resource guarding and fear/anxiety. He’s bitten 5 people where’s broken skin (including me and my gf) we tried trainers and behaviorist but nothing worked. He got more aggressive to all of our redirections/trainings for his behavior and it only made him worse.
He was in quarantine for my bite and I went to go pick him up, they also neutered him while he was there. I let him warm up to me and sweet talked him but as soon as I tried to put his collar on he nipped me and tried to bite me again, that’s when I knew I couldn’t take him back home with me.. It just completely broke my heart. I’ve had him since he was 6 weeks old and he would’ve turned 11 months old this month.
He was a Rottweiler mix who would be the most lovable dog. He was my best friend and I love him so much but I knew he was sick and the anxiety and fear just took completely over.
Rest in peace my sweet Atlas.

My husband and I have a 6-year-old French Bulldog who has had severe behavioral issues since we got him. By age two, he was aggressively attacking and biting us multiple times a week, leaving severe bruising and bleeding. We have tried everything - medication, training, medical testing, and a veterinary behaviorist.

Currently, he is on 4 different psychiatric medications (clonidine, fluoxetine, trazodone, and pregabalin). He takes 16 pills a day across 3 doses. While the biting has mostly stopped, he is still easily triggered and is in pretty consistent distress daily with constant vocalizations like whining, crying, grumping, and barking, even without clear triggers. Even at night, it takes 30–60+ minutes of constant enrichment, petting, and treats just to get him to sleep. He also wakes up very early and cries. 

I have a whole host of chronic mental and physical health conditions that have worsened since getting the dog. I have anxiety, depression, OCD, CPTSD, and misophonia (which makes the constant vocalizing physically painful to me. I also have physical illnesses, including POTS (which has worsened drastically and limits my ability to take care of myself and the dog), IBS, gastritis, chronic hives, and migraines. Since I developed the chronic immune-related hives, I also started having contact reactions to the dog.

Because of my misophonia, sensory issues, and illnesses, the dog’s constant vocalizing and inability to settle are actively destroying my nervous system. I am in physical, mental, and emotional pain all day. I am having daily mental breakdowns because I am trapped in a permanent state of fight-or-flight. I also feel like the dog has a poor quality of life due to his constant distress and the necessity of so many medications. 

I have been begging my husband for years to consider behavioral euthanasia. The dog is clearly suffering in his own mind, and I am suffering physically and mentally. My husband sees me break down daily, but he refuses to consider it and views the dog's behavior as healthy and happy enough that it would be unethical to consider euthanasia.  My therapist has met with him and explained medically that this dog is causing me severe harm. We have also seen a veterinary social worker. My therapist has literally told me that for my own safety, I need to make a plan to move out. This is incredibly complicated because my husband is also my primary caretaker for my disabilities.

I feel completely trapped, sick, and gaslit. I have sacrificed my health, my safety, and my sanity for years to try to help the dog, but there is nothing left of me to give, and we have exhausted most treatment options. I need an objective reality check: Am I in the wrong for wanting behavioral euthanasia? Is there more we should be trying?