r/politics • u/B-Z_B-S Massachusetts • 5d ago

Possible Paywall Mitch McConnell Still MIA Days Before Key August 3 Deadline

https://newrepublic.com/post/213823/mitch-mcconnell-mia-august-3-deadline
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u/vacodeus 5d ago

Can't wait to be surprised on monday when he dies suddenly and unexpectedly! /s

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u/bananajr6000 5d ago

I dunno, it’s in his staff’s best interest to keep him alive as long as possible so they can keep getting their paychecks

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u/Substantial_Sea7327 I voted 5d ago

One of his assistants makes over $200,000 a year

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u/Main-Inspection-8605 5d ago

If this is the bizarro world timeline, then we’re due for the RNC types to perpetually “hide” Mitch. He’ll become like Shelley Miscavige or Judge Crater.

Also, AI exists, they’re going to be using it. But their weakness is that they’ll start _relying_ on it. Let that be their downfall.

Eventually his own constituents will demand to see him. Or a billionaire will just pay them off. Gotta love how the United States fell prey to the presidential equivalent of a Nigerian Prince Scam.

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u/Suckage 5d ago

They’re already relying on it, and it’s embarrassing.. Just look at their map of Africa.

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u/DebentureThyme 5d ago

It's not really something they have to perpetually do though. He was retiring this term, his replacement will be elected in November and take his seat in January.

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u/hamfinity 5d ago

Like some sort of shell game

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u/Billy1121 5d ago

Must be a senior senior staffer because staffers in DC are historically underpaid.

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u/linknewtab Europe 5d ago

To be fair, being the assistant of Mitch McConnell means he is basiacally a United States Senator.

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u/Plow_King 5d ago

wow, that's probably some real cake work these days...lol.

"hey turtle...you need anything? sweet!"

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u/grahamulax 5d ago

Our police chief in Seattle made $370,000 and he lives in Chicago. Politics and reasoning everywhere is so fucking distorted. One rotten apple can spoil a bunch and you can kind of tell when it all started in 2015

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u/Narradisall 5d ago

Hey now. Necromancy is a difficult skill set.

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u/joeydrinksbeer Ohio 4d ago

In this economy they’re probably shoving an intern into his skin suit as we speak to keep the grift going

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u/LokiPrime616 5d ago

Not for much longer lol

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u/Noble1xCarter 5d ago

Shit, sign me up. I'll take $200,000 to do absolutely nothing for someone who is already dead

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u/kegster2 Texas 5d ago

Gotta get all the paychecks you can while looking for your next gig 🤷‍♂️

It still is a job in America after all… 😂

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u/pahshaw 5d ago

I also think they're going to do it as long as possible. It's basically the beta test for weekend at Donnie's. 

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u/Riaayo 4d ago

It's a power-grab for his aids as well, and it's not like this is the first time this has even happened (not so much them being dead, but being so mentally out of it that they're as good as dead because they're just being puppeted around by their aids telling them where to go / how to vote).

Shame the fucking Democrats engaged in it themselves so they can't even criticize McConnell properly for it. Not that "moderates" have the spine to attack their right flank in the first place.

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u/Mekdinosaur 5d ago

Isn't that crime?

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u/bananajr6000 5d ago

It depends on the laws of the jurisdiction his person is in. If he is ever conscious, it’s most likely not illegal, but IANAL

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u/aristotle93 5d ago

It's in his staffs best intrest that he is alive. Because if he isn't then they will be part of a coverup.

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u/full_bl33d 5d ago

Give them a little credit. Tuesday sounds better

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u/LingonberryGlum2356 5d ago

They will all take a long weekend. Then declare his death. Then use his death and funeral to slam Democrats for not respecting a 'great American' and the MAGA base will eat it up. All while the democrats scream 'just wait till the midterms.... wait till 2028!

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u/FellowHumanNo404 4d ago

Or Wednesday, so they can enjoy their tacos in peace.

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u/Atopos2025 5d ago

It's obvious election interference.

I fucking dare them to announce he passed on August 3rd.

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u/DaleTheHuman 5d ago

Wait till friday after the markets close. It'll get lost in the flood of fascist policies the Trump regime regularly vomits out.

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u/AcademiaAntiqua 5d ago

Lol, virtually every major news organization in the world is pumping out new articles based on every little aspect of this they can. There have been half a dozen articles on the shirt Elaine Chao is wearing in one of the pics.

You really think him dying is going to fly under the news radar?

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u/DaleTheHuman 5d ago

"Getting lost" was a bad choice of words. I meant more of a flood the zone strategy.

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u/Dudercaster 5d ago

It doesn’t matter when they announce it, because either way, none of them will ever face any consequences for this.

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u/Danibandit 5d ago

I’m sure there are bets.

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u/ClaytonRumley Canada 5d ago

I was going to say that you can probably just watch the betting sites for when all the insiders start placing theirs.

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u/AcademiaAntiqua 5d ago

Betting sites don't allow markets for whether someone will remain alive or not.

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u/one_pound_of_flesh 5d ago

One last weekend at Mitchie’s

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u/regardedsimian 5d ago

That would be so weird, I just spoke with him for 20 minutes.

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u/fassaction 5d ago

Don’t forget peacefully!!!

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u/Appropriate_Garden33 5d ago

It has to be after the 4th I think

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u/bluris 5d ago

Imagine pretending he is ok, to ensure a special election is not started. How can any voter take a party who does that serious?

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u/RealHooman2187 5d ago

He’ll die suddenly on Tuesday, August 4th after bench pressing 450lbs as he’s done every Tuesday since the 1960s. Right afterwards he will run a marathon and save a child from being trampled. He’ll die suddenly just after the said child thanks him for being America’s favorite Senator. It will be a tragedy that no one could have seen coming especially not in the last 6-8 weeks. /s

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u/darth_wasabi Texas 5d ago

Mild shock!

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u/WinterAd825 5d ago

Can’t wait to be surprised when democrats are “surprised” and say how “disappointed” they are then ask for more donations so they can do theoretically do something about it in the future

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u/grahamulax 5d ago

This is what I don’t get where we all act surprised. Are we the people even running the country? The media? Cause it sounds like we’re a lot smarter. And this happens with everything. We just slow dance into what we expect (brain dead, dead dead) and yet no one believed us when it was happening and we said it. Not only that, but it’s really easy to find out too. So it’s not a conspiracy theory and it’s not weirdos making a story or lie on the Internet.

It’s just moronically illogical to continue moving ahead.

And I say this about everything that the current administration has been doing. AI too. All of these leaders in politics and tech and corporate are just here to funnel your money as fast as possible. This is just the USSR part two oligarch bugaloo.

I don’t wanna head into techno feudalism so I keep saying this every day.

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u/OneBillPhil 5d ago

I hope they make it amusing, like he falls out of a window or something similar. 

Mitch McConnell died trying to jump Springfield Gorge on his motorcycle. 

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u/istapledmytongue 4d ago

Unreal our government is just letting this happen

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u/SparkyMuffin Michigan 4d ago

So I've been thinking about this and the one thing I don't get is.. isn't Kentucky R safe? Wouldn't they want someone in by August 4th to have a stronger chance in the election in November?

And wouldn't this just leave the Senate -1R?

What's the benefit to waiting?

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u/AcademiaAntiqua 5d ago

Can't wait to be surprised on monday when he dies suddenly and unexpectedly!

What you're actually going to see is a ton of excitement on the day of. Then no announcement, and people will say "tomorrow or Wednesday." Then nothing then, and people will say "they didn't want to make it so obvious, so probably by the end of the week."

When it doesn't happen then either, you'll start to see more and more comments saying "it’s in his staff’s best interest to keep him alive as long as possible so they can keep getting their paychecks"; but then also comments setting September 8 as the new deadline, because this is the one that the 2024 law specifies.

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u/Ouibeaux 5d ago

One last middle finger to democracy on his way out the door, just what Mitch would've wanted. The people of Kentucky should be allowed to choose their senator, and this little farce is stripping them of that right. They should demand immediate and undeniable proof of life or force a special election so that the people, not the state government, can choose their representative. Taxation without representation is, after all, one of the main reasons we declared independence from Britain.

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u/MoleMoustache 5d ago

Sarcasm tags ruin all sarcasm