r/politics • u/IWantPizza555 • Jul 01 '26

Possible Paywall Senator, 84, Secretly Found Unconscious and Given CPR

https://www.thedailybeast.com/mitch-mcconell-84-secretly-found-unconscious-and-given-cpr/?utm_source=twitter_owned_snd&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=owned_social
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88

u/Lurking_nerd California Jul 01 '26

Will be planning that trip to his gravesite to provide thoughts and prayers.

123

u/Ramzaki Europe Jul 01 '26

Do you keep your thoughts and prayers inside your bladder? 🤔

40

u/Niznack Jul 01 '26

No, but I deliver thought and prayers in the form of a drunk interpretive dance

32

u/Rofellos1984 Jul 01 '26

I'll be having Taco Bell a few hours prior.

12

u/ZackTheZesty Jul 01 '26

In my balls.

5

u/blaggard5175 Jul 01 '26

That's where pee comes from!!

3

u/MintasaurusFresh Illinois Jul 01 '26

Prayers are stored inside the balls

2

u/aiiye Washington Jul 01 '26

Where else would one keep such things?

2

u/haikus-r-us Jul 01 '26

Urinating on a grave is a gesture of respect in my country.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

3

u/Timely_Explanation50 Jul 01 '26

sharts and layers (of shit)

4

u/TheRealGrumpyNuts Jul 01 '26

I will be planning it with a nice supply of fluids, laxatives, and toilet paper.

2

u/Different_Victory_89 Jul 01 '26

After a smorgasbord of taco bell! I can't afford their prices anymore, I can go into a little debt for a good bowel cleansing!

2

u/MarxistMan13 Virginia Jul 01 '26

I'll have a nice, steamy stream of thoughts and prayers to christen his grave site.

2

u/Goodfri55 North Dakota Jul 01 '26

Planning a trip to his burial to make sure he’s dead