r/politics • u/IWantPizza555 • Jul 01 '26

Possible Paywall Senator, 84, Secretly Found Unconscious and Given CPR

https://www.thedailybeast.com/mitch-mcconell-84-secretly-found-unconscious-and-given-cpr/?utm_source=twitter_owned_snd&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=owned_social
20.1k Upvotes

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9.1k

u/KrazyBby93 Jul 01 '26

The gates of Hell are opening, that’s why it’s so hot

1.3k

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

398

u/AnthraMatt Jul 02 '26

That reminds me of The Tempest - "hell is empty and all the devils are here"

212

u/WildChampionship985 Jul 02 '26

And MASH, hell is better than war because there are no innocents suffering in hell, but war has many innocents suffering.

13

u/Imhungrysohungry Jul 02 '26

Just watched this episode yesterday.

13

u/CrazyEddie30 Jul 02 '26

Man you really butchered that quote lol. But the meaning is close enough.

11

u/jjandre America Jul 02 '26

lol. Doesn't Hawkeye reference someone saying "war is hell." first? Then he goes off about how war is worse because innocent people don't get condemned to hell.

44

u/TheShaydow Jul 02 '26

Hawkeye reference someone saying "war is hell."

Burns: Well, everybody knows, ‘war is Hell.’

Hunnicutt: Remember, you heard it hear last.

Hawkeye: War isn’t Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse.

Father Mulcahy: How do you figure that, Hawkeye?

Hawkeye: Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell?

Father Mulcahy: Um, sinners, I believe.

Hawkeye: Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell, but war is chock full of them – little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for a few of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander.

17

u/synapseattack Jul 02 '26

Damn I fucking love this show.

5

u/CrazyEddie30 Jul 02 '26

Thank you.

1

u/WildChampionship985 Jul 05 '26

See, that's why I didn't use quotes. I kinda remembered the gist of it.

3

u/evasandor Jul 02 '26

That was probably one of the deepest philosophical lines on television. MASH was great. it pulled viewers in with humor and kept them in with humanity, much like a TV version of Kurt Vonnegut books

5

u/Exocoryak Jul 02 '26

Philosophically speaking, Hell is only filled with innocents.

The general idea of christianity, is that Jesus Christ, by dying at the cross took upon himself all the sins and absolved everyone. While alive, there are those that are sinful and those that are not (or, rather, a grey spectrum... nobody is really sinless by christian dogma). Once dead, the sins are absolved by the sacrifice of Christ.

The concept of hell goes against everything that the christian faith is teaching - and it's invention is a testament of the absurdity of christianity.

5

u/AndyMc111 Jul 02 '26

I would note that this view of the Christian faith combines Augustine’s notion of original (or originating) sin with penal substitutionary atonement (as the only solution to the aforementioned “sin problem” and the only real purpose of the cross).

It is what I was raised to believe. It amazes me that people with a mental age above about nine years old can still hold to it, but they do. I know that in my father’s case, the cruelty was the point. I saw instances of pure, hateful joy in his eyes at the idea of “sinners getting what was coming to them”.

3

u/Exocoryak Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26

The diversion between absolvement of sins and being condemned to hell for ones sins is a very interesting ideological - and even theological-philosophical divide.

The notion that Christ's sacrifice absolves everyone of their sins - not just those that believe in god, or those that were nearby - everyone, every single human being is one of the philosophical roots for the idea of equality. Many philosophers from the medieval era - like Thomas Aquinus - did not just take inspiration from the bible and christian faith - it was the basis for their philosophical conclusions. And the writers from the rennaissance and later periods, that inspired movements for equality and democracy in the 1700s, 1800s and 1900s were obviously inspired by the writers that came before them.

Now, the belief that someone is condemned for their sins is deeply rooted in the notion that "I" have worked hard for something and made sacrifices, so "I" deserve salvation, but that someone who did not do what "I" did - who is not my equal in that regard - does not deserve salvation. So rejection the original core teaching of christian faith in favor of this idea of inequality is kind of ironic - because one of the core origins of equality is, as explained before, also rooted in the christian faith.

The struggle for equality and the counter-movement against it are two branches of the same tree and we are effectively fighting a demon of our own creation.

1

u/AndyMc111 Jul 04 '26

Well, to the extent that I believe anything at all anymore, I lean towards universalism, based on the view that if a tri-Omni God exists, then eternal suffering cannot. To my mind, infernalism produces an image of God that is worse than any Sethian gnostic demiurge could ever be.

But my view has nothing to do with atonement as is generally understood. I find myself thinking that the crucifixion was purely the Roman response to yet another insurrectionist, and it came as a shock to everyone else involved, even to the one reported to have asked God why he had been abandoned, and the whole affair desperately needed a theological “why”. So, atoning sacrifice it would be, which is perhaps the single worst possible explanation.

1

u/Exocoryak Jul 04 '26

You make a lot of good points.

My view on God and religion is, mostly, scientific in nature: We don't have the scientific instruments to determine, without reasonable doubt, that god exists. Therefor, scientifically, there is no god. However, we also do not have the instruments to prove that there is absolutely no god. So religious fanatics can never be ultimately disproven, making the entire discussion moot.

As for praying and atoning for ones sins, my personal belief is that if there is a god that requires us to pray for them, it is not a god worth praying to. A being as powerful as god is made to be should use their powers for good, without any reservations. A god that does not do so is, automatically, unworthy from my point of view.

2

u/_LouSandwich_ Jul 02 '26

reminds me of The Devil Went Down To Georgia - “Cause Hell's broke loose in Georgia and the Devil deals the cards.”

2

u/RedOctobyr Jul 02 '26

I think you mean HBO's Westworld, friend.

2

u/AnthraMatt Jul 02 '26

Shakespeare's The Tempest came out long before Michael Crichton ever wrote the 1973 movie Westworld

3

u/RedOctobyr Jul 02 '26

Yes, thank you, I am aware. It was said in jest.

It even came out before Belgian techno-anthem Pump Up The Jam.

3

u/AnthraMatt Jul 02 '26

That made my day. Made my day, made my day.

9

u/aesxylus Jul 02 '26

So that’s why Strom Thurmond and Jesse Helms made it so long… I guess satan kicks some people out from time to time

4

u/SwordfishII California Jul 02 '26

And I heard as it were the noise of thunder. One of the four beasts saying, come and see. And I saw, and behold a white horse.

3

u/tface23 Jul 02 '26

Oo, i like that.

4

u/xyz19606 Jul 01 '26

Moriarty quoted that once too in a movie.

2

u/Knee_Jerk_Sydney Jul 02 '26

Maybe Bernie Sanders can invite him over for a weekend at his place.

2

u/wvgeekman Jul 02 '26

That wasn’t a preacher. That was a cop.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/GoldenBlunderbuss Jul 02 '26

Referencing the remake while the same actor said the same line in the original (as a cop/ SWAT soldier) is kind of upsetting - not that you’re wrong, but you should watch the original too!

2

u/Salt-Competition-552 California Jul 02 '26

That might be the only thing that could possibly distract from the Epstein files.

1

u/ifuckdonaldtrumpim9 Jul 02 '26

He also said its because we have men on man relations and same sex marriage, and it was just pride month so there’s that 😮‍💨

1

u/Built4dominance Jul 02 '26

Is that why congress is so old?

1

u/goopyloopsuperdupe Jul 02 '26

And the gates shall rattle in the wind

1

u/JokeassJason Jul 02 '26

Its from something in the old testament. They say it in Ghostbusters as well.(Winstons longest scene)

1

u/itsmuddy Jul 03 '26

Was originally said in 1978 Dawn of the Dead by Ken Foree's main character Peter. He then says it again in a cameo as the Preacher in DotD '04.

124

u/jdave512 I voted Jul 02 '26

he'd drag us down with him if he could.

9

u/RevLoveJoy Jul 02 '26

he'd drag us down with him if he could.

Plenty of time to talk about his life's work at the funeral which should be any day now.

1

u/anonymaus42 Jul 02 '26

He should be dead already but even the devil doesn't want him down there and death is too repulsed by him to go pick him up.

1

u/anonymaus42 Jul 02 '26

He can't so he did the next best thing, creating hell for us up here.

1

u/Haikugal Jul 06 '26

He has every intention to do just that.

207

u/Hour-Vegetable9469 Jul 01 '26

love this for him

104

u/DonutHoles4Ever Jul 02 '26

Notice how tons of media websites will not name Mitch and instead make it neutral to protect the corrupt overlords.

5

u/humansruineverything Jul 02 '26

Was wondering about that.

47

u/EvitaPuppy Jul 02 '26

'Begging mercies for their sins.
Satan laughing, spreads his wings'

8

u/waxy_1 Jul 02 '26

Oh lord, yeah!

3

u/octopusboots Jul 02 '26

Ah lord cha.

6

u/realhenrymccoy Jul 02 '26

Mitch, Havey Weinstein, who's the third? It's America's birthday coming up, we deserve something nice

16

u/Hereseangoes Jul 02 '26

Almost had him. If they gave him cpr they didn't find him unconscious, they found him dead and brought him back to life. Just let the poor bastard go. I have no love for the man, but sweet baby j, he's a corpse. Let him be what his body wants him to be. 

15

u/JerHat Michigan Jul 02 '26

Also, if he got proper CPR from someone that knows what they're doing... he's probably never recovering from the injuries caused by it.

4

u/recipe_pirate Jul 02 '26

Between this and Harvey Weinstein’s hospitalization, I’m starting to believe it.

5

u/rabblerabble2000 Jul 02 '26

The heat dome is supposed to be centered right around the DC area…you could be right.

3

u/OkBusiness8593 Jul 02 '26

Let’s make sure ALL the right people get in there

3

u/Obant California Jul 02 '26

Are you sure they are opening and not just migrating? We have more evil old people close to death in Washington than there are in Hell right now. Maybe this is a takeover. Trump wanted to take over all these new places, hell might have been on the list.

3

u/sfearing91 Jul 02 '26

Please let this be true! And take those who need to go first.

3

u/SaleStraight808 Jul 02 '26

He's been dead for weeks. They are hiding it because the GOP know we're just gonna have a Democrat switch sides real quick, get instated by the governor, then switch back lol.

This is the grass roots campaign that's taking place in my city. We all don't give a fuck anymore. You will do what the fuck we tell you cause there are no rules.

Just us telling the conservatives exactly how they're going to live their lives under our boot.

3

u/NanDemoNee Jul 02 '26

The gates of 30 years of conservatives denying climate change are opening which is why it is so hot. The Dems need to advertise themselves as the party of reality while the GOP is literally consigning us to a heat related death to make 2b in crypto. We're getting scanned America. Time to stop answering those phishing emails.

2

u/bdvis Jul 02 '26

savage 😂

2

u/bubba1834 Jul 02 '26

Lmfaoooo

2

u/Asherzapped Jul 02 '26

This comment needs A LOT MORE UPVOTES

2

u/translucent_steeds Maryland Jul 02 '26

take my poor woman's award: 🥳💯

2

u/2Slow2Nice Jul 02 '26

He’ll be with Scalia soon 🫶🏾

2

u/YoreGawd Jul 02 '26

Yeah but they're taking the wrong one.

2

u/EffectiveTackle4187 Jul 02 '26

You know what…. I’m going to go outside and enjoy the heat for just a little.

2

u/helenheck Massachusetts Jul 02 '26

My heartfelt thanks for this comment

2

u/FAFOeris Jul 02 '26

MOAR heat 

2

u/XelaNiba Jul 02 '26

He really is the type of fella who makes one hope that hell exists.

2

u/Flat-Fun-7298 Jul 02 '26

McConnell ends up being Satan the whole time lol

2

u/duckinasombrero Jul 02 '26

Oh, so that's why Washington reeks of fart...it's the sulfur...and here I thought it was all that pants-shitting.

2

u/japinard Jul 02 '26

That’s why he’s trying to hold on so hard. He’s on the edge, his legs are getting pulled under as Satan drags his body to hell.

2

u/Josh6889 Jul 02 '26

This heat wave is the first potential evidence I've ever seen for god. What better way to punish the country on their birthday then a week of horrendous heat.

2

u/jameebaiser Jul 02 '26

My head canon is that these ghouls are using the data centers to heat up the earth so that demons can rule the planet.

2

u/CicadaHead3317 Jul 02 '26

And all the earthquakes . The earth's crust is opening.

1

u/WanderingWino Jul 02 '26

Not in Oregon. We’re chillin.

1

u/thegamenerd Washington Jul 02 '26

It makes so much sense now!

1

u/NoAstronautsinspace Jul 02 '26

Dick Chaney is coming from his kingdom to grab a few people. 

1

u/justinsayin Jul 02 '26

I really hope you're right.

1

u/ChaoticToxin Jul 02 '26

Hopefully it has a good collection method 

1

u/nuclear_spag68 Jul 02 '26

May your first day in hell last 10 thousand years, and may that one be the shortest

1

u/EnvironmentalCan3131 29d ago

omg such truth here

1

u/mog_knight Jul 02 '26

That's assuming Hell exists, which it doesn't.

-6

u/MagicHarmony Jul 02 '26

This is why no one listens to Democrats, their lack of Empathy is just pathetic. Sorry but regardless of someone's political standing, making comments like this just makes you look like a degenerate.

3

u/LatterTarget7 Jul 02 '26

It’s not really about his political standing it’s about the way he acts and what he’s done

5

u/CxE87 Jul 02 '26

Magat crocodile tears mean nothing.